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(Return to the previous page here.)

I suppose this is the end of your journey. Or the beginning, if you're arriving here from some external link. I wouldn't mind if you took the latter option; in fact, it would be better to look at this page only and not the others (until they're fully developed and edited).

Real-Life BFB
Main infoProduction info

Yearly overviewShow timelines (Timeline of RLBFDIRLBFDIA • RLIDFBRLBFB before and after the split • RLTPOTExtra scouting) • General timelines (pre- and post-1950)

Differences from Pencil 2.OAestheticsMethodology (NamesNationalitiesHeightsAgesColours • AccessoriesTeam portraits) • Beyond the 64

TL;DR: InfoTimeline of the final project (part 1part 2part 3)

The (slightly un)official RLBFB yearbook! (Alternate takes)

What to expect on this page[]

On this page, you will find the RLBFB yearbook in its entirety. Or at least as much as I have worked on it. Unlike most yearbooks, which are usually hundreds of pages long and seemingly contain every event that happened during the school year, this one will be relatively short due to the number of characters depicted in it.[1]

You will see a series of sections corresponding to the real-life pages of the book on which this yearbook would be presented, if it were printed at all.

The first part of each page section is the page itself, which consists solely of the image. This is followed by the text section, which is intended to be helpful for people who for some reason cannot load or see the images. Note that not all of the information in the image section will be shown on the text section, and vice versa:[2] the reason for this is that you can already find much of the information on some of the other pages in this series and even supplemental sources, such as the actual BFDI Wiki.

So... er... happy searching!

Index[]

Don't want to see the floaters and just want to see your favourite contestant? Wait no longer, because—as is common in most yearbooks these days—you will find where they are in this index, helpfully printed here for you all. Now, normally indexes are put at the end of a yearbook, but since this is online, the rules don't apply as much.

Index of the RLBFB yearbook
8-Ball EDDIE7.6 Donut DONALD4.2 Lightning LEO3.8 Remote RENATA4.9
Balloony BLAINE8.3 Dora DORA8.6 Liy LILL5.9 Robot Flower ARBUTUS7.8
Barf Bag BARBARA4.3 Eggy PEGGY2.3 Lollipop LULU2.5 Roboty ROBOTY8.8
Basketball LINA7.7 Eraser JOE3.5 Loser LOTHAR6.5 Rocky ROCKY7.3
Bell BELLE5.6 Evil Leafy ALELSATAN8.10 Marker MARC5.4 Ruby RUBY3.1
Black Hole BILAL4.6 Fanny FANNIE5.1 Match MAJA3.2 Saw SANA2.7
Blocky ADY3.6 Firey FREDERIC1.1 Needle NATHALIA2.2 Spongy SPONGY7.2
Book ASTRID2.9 Flower FLORA3.9 Nickel NICK8.2 Stapy STEFAN5.8
Bottle BETHEL4.7 Foldy VIOLETTE5.7 Pen G.P.3.4 Taco TONI2.6
Bracelety BRISELDA6.1 Fries FRANKIE5.2 Pencil PENELOPE3.3 Teardrop THERESE2.4
Bubble KATHY1.4 Gaty KATJA2.8 Pie ABBIE4.5 Tennis Ball T.B.7.4
Cake JAKE6.6 Gelatin JOAQUIN4.1 Pillow PAULA4.4 Tree TERRY4.8
Clock KHALED6.3 Golf Ball EUGENIA7.5 Pin PHUONG2.1 TV T.V.7.9
Cloudy CLAUDE8.4 Grassy GABRIEL8.1 Price Tag JESSIE6.7 Winner VENERA6.4
Coiny COLUMBUS1.2 Ice Cube IRIS6.2 Profily PAT8.9 Woody WOODY8.5
David DAVID8.7 Leafy LELA1.3 Puffball HONORATA5.3 Yellow Face YITZHAK5.5

Since I assume that many people will come from somewhere else, I have sorted them first by their object name, followed by their human name in SMALL CAPS and where to find them in the yearbook. This part you read as follows, with "Foldy VIOLETTE5.7" as an example:[3]

  • 5 corresponds to the yearbook page she is found on: page 5.
  • 7 corresponds to where on the page she is found: she is seventh in the sequence.

Page 1: RLBFDI Icons[]


RLBFBY p1 - Intro and First Four


In words…[]

The (unofficial) RLBFB Contestant Yearbook (1971–1973)
Welcome to a world… WHERE humans, talking speaker boxes and algebra symbols have collided for the sole purpose of one of them winning a prize. Created by two Americans in Kenya known by nothing except Jacknjellify, Real-Life Battle for Dream Island (RLBFDI) was one of the most groundbreaking series to hit the airwaves in the 1960s, forty years before the reality competition movement hit its stride.

The series started in 1962 with twenty contestants from different countries and backgrounds. It was later expanded to a maximum of sixty-four people in its fourth series, RLBFB, in 1969. Together with those of a few late debutants and a once-recurring antagonist, these people’s appearances can now finally be brought back into the light. Once beloved by millions of young people around the world in the ’60s and ’70s, the show vanished as quickly as it had appeared. By the Internet age, it had been forgotten by everyone, but the last physical copies of the entire series could not have been discovered by anyone better.

Cary and Michael Huang, two twelve-year-olds whose YouTube name happened to be the same as that old, lucrative television company, eagerly combined their comic-drawing and and Flash animation skills with their love of pre-existing reality shows (such as Total Drama Island and Survivor) to recreate the series, but with one caveat: instead of humans, the actors would be portrayed by talking, inanimate objects. This animated series was quietly released on New Year’s Day, 2010, as Battle for Dream Island.

Although they were all but unknown shortly when they started, Jacknjellify have since become a staple of YouTube and will always be known as the founders of the object show community. At the time of writing, they have over[4] one million subscribers, and the fourth season of RLBFDI has just wrapped up to make way for the start of the show’s fifth: RLTPOT.

Editor’s note: Interestingly, these aren’t the contestants’ actual photographs. They are but the best approximations from early 1971, represented by the interpreter’s set of source images (right) and run through Artbreeder.com, a machine-learning web-site, to make for some shocking realism.

The interpreter hopes you enjoy his biggest BFDI-related project of the first half of 2021! And if you like what you’re looking at, you can always click on the link on the web-site where this book can be found exclusively—on the Pencil 2.O Wiki—for more information. Yb.

FREDERIC (RLBFB) Frederic (Collins, Frederic Jay Dee) Age[5]: 22
It’s no surprise that Frederic[6] is the first character in our journey of human contestants! He won season 1 and was in all but the last, and he was even the first to have a toy made of him. And you’d be right in assuming that Fred’s the classic example of how fame gets into a man’s head. He’d never thought of himself as popular before RLBFDI, but the ego boost that so often comes from the limelight left him with an almost broken relationship with Lela, with whom he has fathered a child.
Did you know?[7] Frederic’s first television rôle was in a commercial as a high schooler in 1950s Chicago. That bit of experience must have been enough for Jacknjellify to accept him as their first candidate for RLBFDI who wasn’t a young kid.
Quote: “Strangers these days are so strange.”
COLUMBUS (RLBFB) Columbus (Lincoln, Columbus) Age: 24
With Columbus, it’s always a battle. Not just for a prize, but against a static personality. He was eliminated early on in RLBFDI because he was only known for his intense rivalry with Frederic and nothing else. But as the show went on and Columbus found his own image as a dominant and diminutive player, viewers got to see another side of this spoiled rich boy. But how far will he go to keep his favourite companions since 1964, Nathalia and Phuong, in the game?
Did you know? Though Columbus is quite small, he sure has a loud voice, which he uses to yell at others… especially when they challenge his or his family’s history. Newcomers are warned never to say anything bad about Abraham in his presence.
Quote: “Don’t tell me it’s not RLBFDIA anymore!”
LELA (RLBFB) Lela (Pearson, Lelanda Relief) Age: 22
You wouldn’t imagine Lela, the series’ so-called nicest contestant, to have such controversy surrounding her presence, but she did, and she had ever since she bought Dream Island in the season 1 finale. Every object on Earth turned on her kindness shortly thereafter (culminating in an unforgettable chase scene and self-exile for a number of years—not so nice now, is she?), but by RLBFB, everyone has forgiven her. It just took a little longer than it should’ve done.
Did you know? Although Lela considers Grenada her one and only homeland, she never actually returned after leaving for Chicago, not even after her RLBFDI career. She has since proposed that Grenada be the setting for the show’s sixth season.
Quote: “To sock it to you gently, you’re just not as nice as I am.”
KATHY (RLBFB) Kathy (Jinko, Kathrina Boitumelo) Age: 24
Who would expect Yoyleland native Kathy to be friends with the meanest characters in the canon? Kathy certainly didn’t expect it either, because as soon as those people “went home”, her confidence grew and she befriended pretty much everyone else in the series, with a rather strong bond with Lela. Mind you, she’s got an obsession with forgiveness, and while she may come across as meeker than most of the cast, she has been shown to stand up for what’s right.
Biliyor musun? Kathy believes in the “Yoyle” theory of Turkic ethnogenesis, according to which the Turks are descended from berry-eating Yoylelanders. She even calls herself a native of Yoyleland and wants the whole cast to know it.
Quote: “Yoylecake! Yoylecake! Yoylecake!”

Page 2: They're All Girls[]


RLBFBY p2


In words…[]

PHUONG (RLBFB) Phuong (Nguyễn Thị Phương) Age: 23
Phuong has matured considerably throughout the series. During her five episodes of competition in RLBFDI, she had no regard for the feelings of anyone but her demanding self. After learning that this behaviour was elimination-worthy (not to mention her numerous modifications in the show’s history), she realized that a change had to come. By RLBFB, Phuong has become something like the Losers’ advice-giving “team mother”, having Columbus as her natural match.
Bạn có biết không? In 1962, Phuong was part of no alliance, a small team in 1964, and she was surrounded by a densely-packed network of friends. By the time the eighties roll around, she’ll be loved by the entire world. Somehow.
Quote: “There’s nothing mean I did that I can think of.”
NATHALIA (RLBFB) Nathalia (Carvalho, Nathalia Maria) Age: 23
Nathalia is Penelope’s sister and Phuong’s tall close friend. She stands out in a queue of female contestants! Because of some of the attention she receives from this, she prefers to lead a quiet (and slightly pessimistic) life and only speak or take action if necessary, like for a challenge. It’s an oath that is bound to be broken, as she’s got a compelling urge to slap anyone who calls her “Needy”—a nickname she finds most annoying. She doesn’t do it often these days.
Did you know? Nathalia doesn’t like it when people meddle in others’ business. Yet she slaps even strangers who say her nickname from miles away—no one really knows what she gets out of slapping people who utter the word “need—
Quote: “Life is full of pain.”
PEGGY (RLBFB) Peggy (Tan, Margaret Uy Pan) Age: 23
Peggy is the storyteller of her friendship circle. She relives tales of how her ancestors killed Magellan with egg rolls and even claims to remember her own conception, which she likes to describe in great detail. But what people often forget about this witty, long-winded oral historian is something more sinister: No matter who she speaks to, she unintentionally peppers her compliments with little insults to remind them of what makes them so obnoxious.
Did you know? She can be a bit morbid: In RLBFB 13, Peggy revealed to the entire world that, unlike most people, she has the same blood colour that Lothar does, and that gives her the claim to be his most loyal follower.
Quote: “I come from a long line of people and I know all their names.”
THERESE (RLBFB) Thérèse (Cohl, Thérèse-Marie) Age: 17
If you had to fill a box that said “Thérèse’s catchphrase”, it would be empty. That’s because Thérèse is the only RLBFB contestant who’s never spoken a single word; she communicates through simple gestures or sometimes the typewriter—sadly, the less moral contestants have made fun of her for this. While she may lack speech, she understands five languages and is unstoppable in physical challenges... and, of course, she’s generally admired by the viewers.
Wousst du? In the first episode of RLBFB, Thérèse is introduced by a number of people who want her to speak. From this already, she’s made a number of enemies, but at least no one is trying to wiggle her vocal cords any more.
Quote: “There’s a saying in Luxembourg: Silence ass gëllen.”
LULU (RLBFB) Lulu (Madikizela, Louise Cebisa) Age: 23
It’s often said that bluntness comes from tough situations. When you’ve been through what Lulu has, sometimes you’ve no choice but to call things as they are. Having fled apartheid in South Africa just before her 1964 debut, Lulu made it a point to have no time for anyone else’s nonsense. But once she got to know her motley crew of RLBFB mates, she quickly forged several webs of relationships, many of which have developed with positive consequences.
Ubusazi na? Lulu was daring enough to dye part of her hair and get a face tattoo, all during the later months of 1972, when having fewer contestants meant that she could be more real with others than she already was.
Quote: “Clearly all you people don’t understand market forces.”
TONI (RLBFB) Toni (Ortega, Antonia Mercedes) Age: 22
While niceness is either innate or forced in most of these contestants, Toni spends the most time trying to be pleasant to others. The thing is, she’s not so charming at it. She can be insensitive to people—often by accident—but that’s because for years she had to endure the distrust of her teammates on EIGHT NAMES AT ONCE for “abandoning” them. It took a whole character arc in 1971 for them all to get close to each other again, but today they’re on good (though distant) terms.
¿Sabías que…? A Chicana (Mexican-American) from Texas, Toni speaks English as a first language, but that doesn’t stop her from wanting to learn more of her heritage tongue: her favourite word is “gordita”, a food and form of address.
Quote: “Sus!”
SANA (RLBFB) Sana (Salama, Sana Essa) Age: 23
Sana likes to take care of herself, sometimes even more than she likes challenges. She was absent from RLBFB for much of the early seventies, as she was on a “scent cleanse” and spent this time finding a new set of hats. It can be quite difficult for Sana to make decisions, especially under duress, but one thing’s for certain: she would do anything to get rid of the vocal tic she got after accidentally inhaling Eddie’s remains; she really hEIGHTs it!
هل كنت تعلم؟ You know RLBFDI’s such a pioneering series when everyone is shocked that Sana has never experienced the vacuum of space before. Some people call her boring, but that’s just because she has different interests.
Quote: “Let the sunshine in and never be irEIGHT!”
KATJA (RLBFB) Katja (Horvat, Katja) Age: 23
Although she prefers to stay out of the spotlight, Katja has her own moments when she feels compelled to give a life lesson. Inspired by the black-and-white sitcoms that she watched frequently during and after the Allied occupation of her hometown, Katja sometimes acts as her team’s moral compass, calling out certain people for their sudden irrationalities. To put it bluntly, Katja thinks she’s the only normal one in a band of kooks, although Sana remains a good friend.
Ali ste vedeli? A few years ago, Katja was annoyed that all the girls she knew started putting two metal barrettes in their hair. She thinks she is the sole owner of that look—those clips’ magnetism may well prove useful in some challenges.
Quote: “Golly gee whiz, why did I think this was a good idea?”
ASTRID (RLBFB) Astrid (Bergjord, Astrid Åse) Age: 24
Astrid has always been a determined spirit, especially when it comes to academia. She’s kept this attitude even in her low points in life, of which there has been so many—she was banished from her family’s village on account of her being gay, she was bullied by the leaders of Freesmart in RLBFDIA etc.—that even vague acquaintances had to talk to her to calm her explosive anger about her past. These days, Astrid plans on reinventing herself as a better person in RLTPOT.
Visste du? Astrid has taken notes on each contestant and what her deepest opinions on all of them. Though secretive at times, she is happy to show them to anyone… as long as they cannot read Norwegian.
Quote: “I’m a human dictionary and you’d better believe it!”

Page 3: Some Girls and Trouble Boys[]


RLBFBY p3


In words…[]

RUBY (RLBFB) Ruby (Jiwe, Ruby) Age: 22
Just because Astrid and Ruby are opposites in personality doesn’t mean they can’t be friends. In fact, they’ve seen each other as life partners ever since they were FreeSmarters back in RLBFDIA. But of the two, the extroverted Ruby is closer to her alliance and happily goes along with everything they do, though mean she is not. Don’t think of her as staid, though, as her excitement level surpasses that of anyone else on the show. Sugar—yes, that’s what she’s on.
Ulijua? Ruby is the oldest and the most famous of her and her thirty-five siblings. They’re all named after precious stones and other beautiful minerals, except for the youngest, who is called Pu.
Quote: “A double trucker and a fan of Poopy Mayonnaise.”
MAJA (RLBFB) Maja (Zanaroff, Maja Anastasia) Age: 24
“Yeah, I know, she was so surprised.” Maja was the first character to ever speak in RLBFDI. Back then, she was the series’ “like”-happy gossip who only talked to her friends Kathy and Penelope. Maja was eliminated before them, and it was soon evident that she was more like the a sidekick than a leader. She’d never admit it, but this silently irked her all the way to RLBFDIA and RLBFB, where her new-found controlling behaviour earned her a well-deserved wigging from a neglected Kathy.
Did you know? Maja dreams of showing off her wealth as she walks the streets of communist Poland. She claims it’s the only place on the planet where people don’t pronounce her name as “Madge-a”.
Quote: “Omg, you can’t be, like, such a creep.”
PENELOPE (RLBFB) Penelope (Carvalho, Penelope Carmencita) Age: 25
1961 ended with Penelope being Maja’s good-humoured but slightly serious best friend. 1964 ended with her making her alliance shut up and get in the van. She’s not very well-liked because of this. What could have happened to cause such an abuse of power? We may well never know the answer, as she was the first to be eliminated in RLBFB—in the EXIT, where she lives now, Penelope lacks someone to tell her what’s right, though the isolation has quite calmed her down.
Did you know? Penelope won the staring contest when she competed in RLBFDI. We don’t get to see that side of her any more because her eyes are closed to the terrible things that she has done since.
Quote: “The world is my bember.”
GIANPIERO (RLBFB) G.P. (Graffeo, Gianpiero Davide) Age: 24
Whether he’s called Gianni, Ben or whatever, this big guy—prized for his popularity—sees everyone as his buddy. It wasn’t always like this: in RLBFDI, he was notorious for taking advantage of others and a hat obsession that he’s thankfully outgrown. These days, G.P. has become a friend and lover who is somehow part of both Death P.A.C.T. and Ady’s jock posse. Not exactly the brightest bulb in the box, the Jeep believes he can win through his charm alone.
Did you know? Despite being Jewish, G.P. released two Christmas singles in 1972, hoping to launch a singing career before RLTPOT began. Needless to say, these records didn't make the charts in any country. Jeepster now devotes himself entirely to competing... though he still likes to sing for fun.
Quote: “I got you, babe.”
JOE (RLBFB) Joe (Graffeo, Giuseppe Aronne) Age: 26
No male friendship in RLBFDI is stronger than the one between G.P. and his Italian-born brother Joe. One hardly appears without the other such that their eliminations were in succession. But there are a few differences, one of which is that Joe can’t be bothered to do anything, be it etiquette, geometric therapy or participating in a challenge without complaining. Not out of sloth, because we all know he has no qualms about eating full cakes or other free food.
Did you know? After a hockey incident left him totally indifferent towards life, Joe is the last of the contestants to get out of bed in the morning. Yet no one pays attention to his tardiness unless he makes a scene (which he often does).
Quote: “All cake is good cake. Unless it’s alive.”
ADY (RLBFB) Ady (Deeb, Adolphus Aniketos) Age: 25
RLBFDI has never seen such a maverick as Adolphus “Ady” Deeb. He’s even got the sleeveless shirts to prove it! But it’s never been a hot-button issue, not even when his violence became publicized through RLBFDI. In fact, he takes advantage of this for his company, R.L.B.F.D.I., where his recent kills are mocked in the name of pranks. But Ady isn’t always so devious: in RLBFB, he’s made friends with Toni and some of the less “groovy” contestants like Gabriel and Woody.
Did you know? Ady is always ready to plot his next murder, usually of someone vulnerable. But he always stops his plans the moment a Yankee game starts, as he believes he has no choice but to sit down and watch T.V.’s TV.
Quote: “This guy is the star of the show!”
SIMON (RLBFB) Simon (Burger, Simon) Age: 686
A giant, shirt-ripping brute of a man, Simon really should belong in a museum. Fitting, because he’s also the most ancient of the human cast. Legend has it that he was born “Thor” in pre-Viking Jutland and cursed with eternal middle-agedness by a vengeful seer. He de-armed thousands in the invasions of England, where he settled and ate intruders to his cave until the 1960s. In RLBFB Simon has too many foes; Leo seems to be the only one who finds him truly pleasant.
Ugh, ugh. The adventurous crew who proved the existence of (and clothed) Simon in the 1800s gave him his surname because of the menacing noises he makes—prehistoric holdovers aren’t known for their ability to flip patties.
Quote: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
LEO (RLBFB) Leo (Denning, Leo Raymond) Age: 20
As part of a family of electricians, Leo has always been fascinated by sparks and wires. Sometimes he likes to electrocute people for fun without realizing the physical pain he causes them... although he’s more aware of this now, no longer wanting to be a plaything to jerks. His contest experience has thus allowed him to fly between a number of alliances. Quite ambiguous in his moral alignments in RLBFB, Leo believes he can zap his way through the show.
An raibh a fhios agat? As you might expect, Leo is a Leo, as in the lionly zodiac sign. But as a devout Catholic, he says he doesn’t bother with horoscopes (although he does hide newspapers in the iance cabin to read them).
Quote: “Thanks for clarifying.”
FLORA (RLBFB) Flora (Harvey, Flora Venus) Age: 45
Flora lived the American dream as an aristocrat in 1900s Boston, and this is reflected in her initially hostile relations with others during RLBFDI. Because of her brash nature, she was the first be eliminated and the one who was the most hated—especially in the first of the jaw-dropping finales. But a later analysis revealed that she only wants to be accepted for her goddess-like level of beauty. It’s a good thing then that she’s decided to become a fashion designer while still competing on RLBFB. With work as a time for contemplation, Flora is one of the few who have truly shown improvement over the course of the series.
Did you know? Flora has a personal hatred for the Titanic, as its infamous sinking in 1912 diverted all attention away from her. She did support women’s suffrage if it meant she could get more votes, though.
Quote: “I want the flower power, but at the same time I like violence.”

Page 4: Mighty Members with a Mission[]


RLBFBY p4


In words…[]

JOAQUIN (RLBFB) Joaquin (Fernández Zanello, Joaquín) Age: 20
Some people just can’t help where they come from. As the first Argentine-born child of a Venetian family, Joaquin was expected to be a rôle model for his younger relatives... even as he reveres his idyllic past a lot, perhaps a little too much. In RLBFDIA onwards, Joaquin is shown to have a strange fixation on utensils such as syringes and oddly thin forks. True, he can be described as immature, but Señor Fernández is a proud restaurateur and isn’t afraid to call out your local Eldritch abomination of a number for their character flaws.
¿Sabías que…? Joaquin had no affiliation with the first season of RLBFDI, not even appearing as an extra. He was sponsored by a Señor Degrassi y Fan from Buenos Aires and essentially entered RLBFDIA as a stranger.
Quote: “ph ph ch ph ph c cch ptztzp c pppctztzpc”
DONALD (RLBFB) Donald (Adura, Donald Gandhi) Age: 26
As one of the most lawfully good contestants in RLBFB, Donald is a natural-born leader. He would sacrifice his life for those of his team-mates in a heartbeat, and he’s done it before. But what is true in the seventies wasn’t the case in the sixties. When he made his debut in RLBFDIA, his bad attitude towards the established season 1-ers and constant use of angry eyes left him no room for him to showcase his values, as this “bagel-brain” was the first to be eliminated.
Did you know? The first long-winded speech in RLBFB history was given by Donald, in episode 3. He has a tendency to inspire others through the power of verbiage and leaving words that get stuck in the mind for years.
Quote: “When I look at my teammates, I see hope. I see strength. I see none of them in the same room together.”
BARBARA (RLBFB) Barbara (Baker, Barbara Francine) Age: 24
Before the competitive part of RLBFB, Barbara was something of an outsider, despite having frenemies (such as Paula) or outright foes (such as Lulu). In primary school, she brought up the idea of “barf molecules”, a reference to who-knows-what, and this issue, which went all the way to the Supreme Court of Canada, earned her so much notoriety and ridicule that she was never believed again. At least she found her true friends while training to be a leader on Team Ice Cube.
Did you know? Because she spends a lot of time in the series’ official infirmary, Barbara is one of the few contestants whose brains have been extensively analysed. We can only assume that the other contestants have brains in the first place.
Quote: “Always remember to consume a lot of water!”
PAULA (RLBFB) Paula (MacPherson, Paula Donna) Age: 23
If you were to rank all the RLBFB contestants on a scale according to various standards, Paula would be right in the middle. Yet there’s nothing boring about her. When a task comes her way, the armchair scientist goes the alternative route and comes up with almost unworldly theories that somehow work. Even at times when she isn’t on the same metaphysical wavelength as the others and her mind is stuck in psychedelia, Paula is more often than not very helpful to her team.
Did you know? If you sing “Hey, hey, Paula” in her presence, Paula will try to finish the song, but she’ll do it in a nonsense language that she claims is older than the sun. And she has proof.
Quote: “According to my research, that’s a ludicrous thought.”
ABBIE (RLBFB) Abbie (Kipling, Abigail Sunita) Age: 24
The sixties did Abbie so well that her mind is still stuck there. An Anglo-Indian, Abbie had left London and gone back to her native land for a spiritual revival. There she spent her days in an ashram in the Himalayas, where, as the wisdom-seeking Paramita, she found her philosophy: One must prevent all forms of death, no matter what the cost. She followed this mantra to a T in RLBFB, where she has given her fellow death-preventing friends a sense of meaning.
তুমি কি জানতে? Abbie had planned to live in a monastery for eternity. She had only reluctantly joined RLBFDI on the condition that she spread her radical pacifism to a group of rather violent people.
Quote: “नमः ॐ विष्णु पादय, कृष्ण पृष्ठाय भूतले । श्रीमते भक्ति वेदांत स्वामिन इति नामिने ।”
BILAL (RLBFB) Bilal (Haladu, Abdullah Bilal) Age: 26
The son of an English-educated colonial bureaucrat, Bilal lived his young life without regard to his fellow countrymen—he preferred to be in space like the global powers that be were, due to the harsh reality that his existence somehow broke the laws of physics and was a threat to the space-time continuum. That all changed when he joined RLBFB, where he’s literally become so down-to-earth that he’ll gladly do any challenge, as long as everyone’s alive for it.
Ka sani? Bilal is hard of hearing (sometimes a challenge for him during competitions), but he spends some time teaching his friends Hausa Sign Language—his favourite sequence of signs is the one for “death prevention”.
Quote: “They’re going to make a film about me in a few years.”
BETHEL (RLBFB) Bethel (Bethel, Elizabeth Ann) Age: 21
It’s quite ironic that Liz Bethel became RLBFB’s paragon of the flourishing hippie movement, considering she never saw herself as one—even when she was called “Mint Julep” during RLIDFB. Raised in an free-love-lovin’ Texan family that ate trees raw and gave personalities to cutlery, Bethel ran away to S.F. in 1964 for a sense of conformity and blandness that she could never quite grasp. There she found out that being different isn’t as bad as they say it is.
Did you know? Bethel appears to have an unrealistically high tolerance for pain. Before she died for two minutes after eating lava, her last words (before screaming) were “It tickles”.
Quote: “There! I’ve said it again.”
TERRY (RLBFB) Terry (Leigh, Terence Ashley) Age: 27
Terry may have the lowest hometown on the map, but he holds himself to the highest standards: he likes to think that the rest of the cast aren’t as worldly and sophisticated as he is. Bilal’s best mate, Mr. Leigh is often grouchy when surrounded by people who are too loud, dumb or emotional. But he’s reluctantly aware that those kinds of contestants make it further in the game, so he often tries to shift his attitude... though not so much to blend in with his fellow competitors.
Did you know? He doesn’t mention it often, but Terry is a single father of a ten-year-old named Georgy Girl Leigh. She likes to imagine that she would get along well with Bethel—Terry was literally attached to the latter for months!
Quote: “Bilal, can you think up a quote for me?”
RENATA (RLBFB) Renata (Monteiro, Renata Nzinga) Age: 24
The Renata you see here isn’t the original one. In fact, she’s a humanoid replica of a bright young martyr at the hands of the Portuguese dictatorship in Angola in 1961. She was brought to life by a merry band of evangelical roboticists, one of whom had fallen in love with her and her impeccable intelligence. Renata has retained her personality and an IQ of 2,763; the only difference is that she now speaks American English with a blatantly synthesized voice.
Did you know? The real-life Renata wouldn’t be as impressed that her robot clone is being used in a competition show as she would be that she has made actual friends and learnt the missionaries’ language fluently.
Quote: “Keep the faith, batteries.”

Page 5: Free French Food[]


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In words…[]

FANNIE (RLBFB) Fannie (Hateford, Frances Amanda) Age: 24
Fannie hates everything; it’s even in the non-vulgar part of her name. She was raised by experimental parents who spoke in opposites: “I love you” was only uttered in moments of anger, and affection was expressed through insults. When she set out into the real world to find out that her childhood was a lie, she turned to the sin of wrath, and now she labels practically everything and everyone she sees as something worth hating... paradoxically including the act of hatred itself.
Didn't you know? The British version of RLBFB retains everything except Fannie’s name—over there she is called the less inappropriate “Gina”, pronounced differently. Guess what Fannie said after she learned of this change.
Quote: “I hate having to come up with something to remember me by!”
FRANKIE (RLBFB) Frankie (De Vries, Jan Franciscus) Age: 25
Did you know that Frankie has a part-time career outside RLBFDI as a comedian? Comically serious, at least, as what the viewers see is a man who can never take a joke. He doesn’t have much respect for those who blindly follow the direction of people who aren’t him, while he himself defers to strong leaders, something especially evident in season 2. Let’s hope he doesn’t become the show’s designated career politician in RLTPOT—he’d either be the best or the worst.
Wist je dat? The so-called “sensible” Frankie still keeps some chips with him at the competition. Don’t worry; they’re sealed in a mould-resistent tin—but he can’t resist eating one every few years.
Quote: “Su-hu-hu-hu-hurrrrrrrre…”
HONORATA (RLBFB) Honorata (Styx, Maria Honorata) Age: 21
At the start of RLBFDIA, Maria Honorata was the most popular contestant, getting the most likes every time her team was up for elimination and reaping all the rewards that come with it. However, she doesn’t have many close friends except Frankie, whom she teaches French and who teaches her English... but not to speak it. Non—a lover of all things musical, from Parisian operas to the compas of her native Antilles, Honorata prefers to sing rather than talk.
Le saviez-vous? Honorata is the first RLBFDI contestant to wear an Afro-styled hairstyle. Proud of her naturally puffy hair (but don’t call her that), she suddenly went “poof” at the end of 1965, when she was eliminated off-screen.
Quote: T’es okay, t’es bath, t’es okay-dokay.”
MARC (RLBFB) Marc (Anastasiades, Marc Tobias) Age: 22
The young Marc was pushed to seem as posh as possible, so his father taught him a highly prescribed form of Greek and sent him to a Copenhagen elocution school. But an upper-class Danish accent doesn’t make for the Queen’s English voice—he clearly sounds different from the Graffeo boys he calls cousins. Marc never fulfilled his dad’s wish, because if you really want to be friends with him, you’d better learn a few games involving geophagy, AKA dirt-eating.
Vidste De? From 1969 to 1970, Marc, Stefan and Violette would sneak out of the Free Food cabin to play dirt-tossing games all night long. Marc continues the tradition after Stefan’s elimination with some of the recommended extras.
Quote: Har du lyst til at smide snavs med mig?
YITZHAK (RLBFB) Yitzhak (Lieberman, Yitzhak) Age: 32
For a man in his nooning years, a cheerful disposition is not at all that common to have. It’s still not known how Yitzhak can live so happily while managing his own international chain of warehouses, along with much of the advertising on public television. Perhaps he was born to be the perfect corporate boss (nice on the inside and on the outside), but as he never took control of a team in all his RLBFDI years, that is something we will never know.
האם ידעת? Yitzhak may seem like he’s only been in the series since RLBFDIA, but his voice was given to a badly-drawn happy face, which first appeared in 1962. He has a rival from those days called Lilla-Isaak.
Quote: “Walking is fun!!”
BELLE (RLBFB) Belle (Saleh, Bahiya) Age: 23
Belle is something of a confusing enigma, say many RLBFB theorists in the early 1970s. The young German doesn’t let people know where the colourful strings in her hair lead (much less climb them, if that’s even possible), although the answer is simply obvious: to her hair. But perhaps her reservedness is justified. Belle was taken advantage by Toni during the “twinkle” challenge of ’70 and hasn’t cared to reconcile with her since.
Wußtest Du das? Before RLBFDI, the musically gifted Belle was a member of a youth orchestra and a choir. She can sing and play almost every instrument at the same time—but she is yet to master the bell.
Quote: Du kannst mich mal, Mond!
VIOLETTE (RLBFB) Violette (Dufour, Marie-Violette) Age: 24
Violette is one of the demurer RLBFB contestants, being one of the “new kids” who debuted in 1969. She’s had the home field advantage for much of her life, attending one of the fanciest lycées in Paris and “winning” some petty relationship drama. But unlike Iris, for example, she is more calculated in her vengeful actions against others, especially those who have wronged her best friend Stefan—Violette is someone qui ne sera pas provoquée.
Le saviez-vous? Just because Violette was named after a flower doesn’t mean her favourite colour is purple. She prefers a shade of green that is often mistaken for blue, but she insists that it is definitely not.
Quote: “If we’re going to smile, we’re going to smile real big.”
STEFAN (RLBFB) Stefan (Krammetjies, Stefan) Age: 23
Tough-guy wannabe Stefan lived a rather insular life in the interior of the South-West Africa territory, oblivious to almost everything going on in the world. In the early 1960s, he studied in Paris, where he discovered the French office supplies industry and the first love of his life, a fellow international student from Sweden. She quickly broke up with him after finding out he was two-timing her with his maybe-current girlfriend, Violette the plain—they’re both crazy (for each other)!
Het jy geweet? Stefan is the last South African(-ish) contestant to make it into RLBFB after Jacknjellify joined the international boycott of apartheid in late 1969… meaning no new people from that country could appear on the show.
Quote: “What’s the folk rum, Khaled?”
LILL (RLBFB) Lill (Lampström, Lilly Marlene) Age: 23
Som förr, Lilly Marlene!” This radiant being so happens to be the Swede whose heart Stefan broke for her rival. But enough about those—Lill’s story is tragic enough. As a youth, she wiped her enemy’s town off the map by turning off the sun above it and erecting a great wall, slowly killing all the residents. Shortly after, she fled to Paris posing as a foreign élève, where she took a rather similar name. In RLBFB she remains curious so as not to err in the same way.
Visste du? On the set of RLBFB, Lill has never spoken a word of Swedish to anyone else, only using English. She’s never interacted with her fellow Scandinavians Marc or Astrid, so she feels she doesn’t need to.
Quote: “Hold on a minute, I’ve found my next adventure!”

Page 6: Just Not as Miscellaneous[]


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In words…[]

BRISELDA (RLBFB) Briselda (Varela Núñez, Briselda Teofila) Age: 19
Briselda is the smallest RLBFB contestant. She’s also one of the youngest, though not as young as the person she idolizes: she has been the #1 supporter of Iris since her own sporadic appearances as an extra on RLBFDI in 1963. This fanaticism often crosses over into an incredible level of stalkerism, such that the object of her adoration has taken notice. Had she been eliminated after episode 4, she would certainly have had some interactions with Iris. But she wasn’t!
¿Sabías que…? While Briselda is best known for her extreme obsession with Iris, she’s also a talented sign maker, whipping them out at record speed. Perhaps she should create cue cards for a living.
Quote: “Go, Icy! You’re my idol!”
IRIS (RLBFB) Iris (Tsukuda, Iris Yukiko) Age: 18
Iris is often nicknamed “Icy” or even “Ice Cube” because of her cold, seemingly aloof nature. In very old RLBFDI episodes, Iris talked a lot, complimenting people for being fast runners or being grateful for those who picked her for their team. But as the years went on and she dealt with louder people (i.e. everyone on Freesmart), she drifted towards the sidelines and said almost nothing at all. And when she did speak, it was almost as if her lines had been put into a photocopier.
Did you know? Iris keeps finding herself in truces to which she was not initially invited. She’s even made a name for herself by having her personal information appear in the Armistice Agreement after the Korean War.
Quote: “i still want revenge”
KHALED (RLBFB) Khaled (Saad, Khaled François) Age: 24
Khaled is one of two contestants who have fought on a modern battlefield. During the Algerian conflict, he had enlisted in the colonial French army at the age of 18 to fight for his mother(’s )land. A toady and a gentleman, Khaled likes to show off his duty to uphold the rule of law, by which he plays sans exception. Ironically, he was absent from RLBFB for over a year, but only because his entire team couldn’t be bothered to revive him or his love for strict compliance.
Le saviez-vous? Khaled likes to wear dark sunglasses, even during the competition. He believes that it draws attention away from his large ears and enhances his reputation as RLBFB’s “honest-minded hero”.
Quote: “A working clock is still wrong twice a day.”
VENERA (RLBFB) Venera (Semyonov, Venera Sergeyevich) Age: 29
The other combat veteran is Venera. Originally from the Steppe, they saw some action during the Second World War and spent the rest of their military career in peacetime. Stationed in Berlin, Venera met Lothar, their future partner in a touring cabaret duo. With his help, Venera fled communism to New Zealand, where no one could find them. There they continue to live modestly, but they’ve just joined RLTPOT without hesitation—good thing it isn’t shown in the USSR!
Знаешь ли ты? To hide their secret origins in the Moscow espionage business, Venera will claim to be every nationality in the world except Soviet. It’s not so much a crisis of identity as a way to avoid being hunted down by the place where they were born.
Quote: “I’m not a Russian; I’m Veneran.”
LOTHAR (RLBFB) Lothar (Verlier, Lothar Karl) Age: 31
While Venera lives over a shadow of obscurity, Lothar is the opposite. His extreme popularity comes from his being featured in a world-famous image taken during the West German protests of ’68 (not his cabaret career, sorry), thus shaking the belief that people over 30 must never be trusted. Without taking into account his radical political views, Lothar is almost universally adored—he can do anything and everything with bravura and hardly anyone questions him about it.
Wußtest du das? Despite his popularity, Lothar got eliminated… twice. While his fame peaked in 1969 (when RLBFB had the most contestants) Lothar has learnt to be a little less vain after the ’72 split. Thanks, Carly Simon!
Quote: “We had fun, and that’s all that matters.”
JAKE (RLBFB) Jake (McRae, Jacob Austin) Age: 21
Jacob “Jake” McRae has got a number of favourite foods, but cake isn’t one of them. As a teenager, he worked in his family’s pastry shop in Brooklyn, all the while not knowing that they were meant to be eaten—a sheltered life he had there. Perhaps that explains why he tends to be bashful around 63 people from other lands and hangs on to Lothar most of the time. Since Lothar stayed and Jake moved on to RLTPOT, the latter now finds himself on a quest for a life of his own.
Did you know? Jake is more family-oriented than many other contestants. He has happily invited his father, a distant royal relative and even someone with the same surname as him (a friend from New York) to be extras in RLBFB.
Quote: “Woah! That’s groovy!”
JESSIE (RLBFB) Jessie (Taggyzadeh, Jamshid Azar) Age: 18
In 1970–71, Jessie was an Iranian student living in the U.S. when they were suddenly scouted to be an extra in RLBFB. They made several appearances in just one episode (RLBFB 15), and was so admired that the producers decided to put them up for voting. After becoming RLTPOT’s newest contestant along with Venera, their nerdy brand of creativity began to show: Jessie shamelessly lugs around a typewriter to show how they’re feeling in two modalities.
بیلیردین؟ Jessie might appear to be rather cute and ditzy, but they’re actually very intelligent. That doesn’t mean they’ll filter their speech (or typing), as they can make a one-hand comment about someone without realizing it.
Quote: “D: :( :| :) :D xD”
NAILY (RLBFB) Naily (Carpenter, Cornelia Eiko) Age: 21
Naily’s quite the exciting character: she has lived on three continents, and now that she’s in Africa for RLBFB, four! Her nickname, actually a clipping of the Strine-flavoured “Cornailia”, has given her fodder for some seriously self-deprecating jokes. Naily often makes puns about carpentry, much to the irritation of others. It’s just one of her ways of getting noticed by the crowd, as she believes that her short stature frequently makes her seem irrelevant otherwise.
知ってましたか? Naily wanted to be one of the first female carpenters in Australia. That ended as soon as she joined the “idiot box”, though she still admires the family name… in fact, her idol since 1970 has been Karen Carpenter.
Quote: “Help me think of a quote that really nails it!”
BOMBY (RLBFB) Bomby (Kaboumogo, Bombi Alfred) Age: 23
Bomby is the first RLBFDI character to be an extra in the show, making his first appearance in September 1962. His true recognition came only two years later, when he received enough votes to compete in season 2. Unfortunately, his time as a competitor comes with the cost of multiple deaths, for he has accidentally been set on fire several times. When he does speak, it’s always an expression of his thoughts on the value of life.
Le savais-tu? Bomby is part of the reason why Announcer died in RLBFDI 23. He shouldn’t take all the blame, however, because some other contestants had an unwitting a part in this hosticide.
Quote: “Oh mon Dieu, Naily!”

Page 7: Nerds of a Feather[]


RLBFBY p7


In words…[]

FREDDY (RLBFB) Freddy (Collins, Frederic Juneteenth Douglass) Age: 14
No one will say it, but Freddy is the spoiled teenaged son of Lela and Frederic from before RLBFDI. Before his age-averaging in 1964, the toddler was taken care of by Frederic’s parents, who would never believe their “deep-fried Southerner” to have fathered a kid out of wedlock. Yet on RLBFB, it seems that Freddy’s relationship with his maw and paw is anything but; he’s made enemies their age but gives no thought to the complicated couple who came to create him.
Did you know? Who out of your friends can say that they never had the experience of being three to eleven years old? It’s pretty amazing that Freddy got the ability to read and write in the age-averaging process.
Quote: “All y’all are pieces of garbage!”
SPONGY (RLBFB) Spongy (Spongy-Karjalainen, Sponyé) Age: 15
It sounds harsh to say, but Spongy is so big that it was near impossible for Four to suck him into his bosom during the last pre-split Cake at Stake in 1972. The other contestants see this side of him and consider him so much a hindrance that even his real friends have barely got to know him. At least he is successful, competition-wise—he was the second to last person to be eliminated in season 1!
Did you know? Spongy is the largest contestant to be eliminated by seven times! That’s not something that one would instinctively know, but Bethel has been measuring this, at least with her eyes.
Quote: “I’ll show you there’s something to remember me by. Maybe.”
ROCKY (RLBFB) Rocky (Mohamed, Rocky Ibrahim) Age: 17
“Bulleh!” Those who have only seen RLBFB don’t know this, but Rocky and Spongy have traditionally had a rather close relationship in season 1. Both were known by the mainstream participants as “the gross ones”, with Rocky being called that on account of his uncontrollable vomiting since episode 4. Nonetheless, Rocky has quite a support system behind him in the new seasons: all of the Beep boys take turns monitoring his barf intake... or outtake.
Ulijua? Rocky was once a chatty child in the first few episodes of the series. Even with his switch to all-vomit communication and the death of his youngest brother, he managed to get the most votes to join RLBFDIA.
Quote: “Bul-leh!
THOMAS (RLBFB) T.B. (Thomas) (Ball, Thomas Rutger) Age: 38
The delightfully clumsy Thomas gets more love from the audience than Eugenia, but that doesn’t mean he has to take the helm: this married couple is more or less an egalitarian “duo”, as they claim. They both grew up on Midwestern farms and they fell in love at the university where Mr. Ball taught in the 1930s. It’s too bad that the more naïve contestants only see T.B. as the big-boned, benevolent, bumbling, biddable boffin counterpart of his cogent, cradle-robbing companion.
Did you know? His extensive geographical knowledge won’t tell you this, but T.B. had only tried to enlist in the Army Air Forces during World War II. Due to his clumsiness, he was rejected after failing every physical test.
Quote: “At the point where I wonder if being called ‘fuzzy’ is a compliment or an insult.”
EUGENIA (RLBFB) Eugenia (Ball, Eugenia Beatrice née Coleman) Age: 39
Right from the start, Eugenia has been branded a “bossy bot” because of her assertiveness and extreme analytical skills. Who knows; perhaps they’re jealous that she’d been in a leadership position as school principal since 1942, when a female at the top was laughable at best. As an RLTPOT-er, Mrs. Ball no longer teaches, but like a good all-American educator, she guides her funnily-named teams through “irrefutable” plans. To think she was never in favour of women’s lib...
Did you know? Eugenia claims that she has never felt stress in her life. It’s a claim so strong and yet so doubt-inducing, as her hair has been grey ever since she was a college student.
Quote: “Never trust anyone under thirty.”
EDDIE (RLBFB) Eddie (Machava, Eduardo Nhantumbo) Age: 25
Humour is one of the last things you learn in a language, and it seems Eddie has yet to reach that stage. In the early episodes of RLBFB, Eugenia’s vicious commentary led Eddie to be chosen as the leader of A Better Name Than That. In this position, he repeated everything she said in the negated form, apparently just for fun... unless he always speaks like that. After all, judging by his reactions to the digit 8, he says he doesn’t have a favourite number; he really doesn’t.
Sabias que...? Before he started competing in RLBFB, Eddie was married to a woman named Nona Bola. She moved back to Portugal in 1970 and he won’t even see her when she makes her cameo appearance in RLTPOT.
Quote: Não tenho um número preferido, mais...
LINA (RLBFB) Lina (Angola Ortiz, Pascualina María) Age: 23
Even though her hand-eye coordination is far from perfect, Lina was the best basketball player in her town. In fact, her career was set up for her as a teenager. But when an explosion claimed the lives of both her parents, she became overly protective of her friends and never regained the confidence to go public again. Of course, we know that’s not true—observe her unnoticed maternal manner towards her teammates, especially in the way that she supports Gabriel.
¿Sabía usted que...? It is the holiday she was named after, but Easter came exactly two weeks after Pascualina was born. Her eccentric parents finally decided that this was a better name than Sin Nombre.
Quote: “You’re going to lose if you take the stairs.”
ARBUTUS (RLBFB) Arbutus (Harvey, Hanako Arbutus) Age: 25
Hanako Arbutus was created with a purpose. A team of Japanese scientists made her as a gift to the city of Boston after the real Flora joined RLBFDI, thus ending her fame as the country’s oldest kindergartener. While Arbutus was meant to be a perpetual student, she too moved to Kenya in 1963. Over time, Arbutus has developed a human-like personality of her own (even gaining realistic eyes in 1970), which has distanced her from her originatress.
Did you know? Flora and Arbutus may naturally sympathize with each other, but they disagree on some things, especially on fashion: Flora doesn’t understand Arbutus’ love of android chic.
Quote: “That’s highly unlikely!”
TV (RLBFB) T.V. (Woo, Tomas Jung Hoon) Age: 24
RLBFB has two contestants with almost the same first name, which comes from the Aramaic for “twin”. Well, they don’t look the same—Tomas is the name 禹正訓 took when he fled a divided Korea in the early 1950s. He’s better known as T.V., and for good reason: he has always wanted to be a game show host (and for much of RLBFDIA, he was), and he’s really good at imitating the other contestants, repeating their lines word for word.
알고 알았느냐? Although T.V. spends endless time perfecting his imitations of the other contestants, he once tried a Scottish accent. Alas, that only lasted as long as his fifteen seconds of fame.
Quote: “And now, here’s your host on RLBFB, Tomas Woo! Please?”

Page 8: The Beep Family and/of Misfits[]


RLBFBY p8


In words…[]

GABRIEL (RLBFB) Gabriel (Weiland, Gabriël Jaap) Age: 19
An Indonesian migrant from the Moluccas, Gabriel grew up as an orphan in a refugee camp because his father died during the War of Independence. He was later placed in the care of the church, which wanted to keep him as unrealistically youthful as possible. But with each tragedy that befalls him, Gabriel has managed to make the best of his life, with the hope of helping others before himself. Unrelated, but he also loves measles, mumps and rubella.
Wist u dat? In deference to the God of Christianity, Gabriel likes to speak in the third person. For some reason, instead of saying his name, a harsh-sounding word that sounds like “hrashah” comes out.
Quote: Ik ben Grasje!
NICK (RLBFB) Nick (Jefferson, Nicholas Shelton) Age: 20
Frederic and Columbus were once part of a cult of genealogy enthusiasts who faced varying degrees of pressure to live up to their ancestors’ (in)famous legacies. But none has been so pressed for authenticity as Nicholas was: he was raised to be an exact clone of America’s third president. In fact, Nick was so far removed from modernity that when he finally broke in 1969, he dropped his cynical statesman act to make up words and do the now-outdated twist.
Did you know? By 1962, Nick had been taught Ancient Greek, Latin and French, as well as horseback-riding and violin lessons. Like most people who are made to imitate their distant ancestors, he hated it.[8]
Quote: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that I just know I’m going to win.”
BLAINE (RLBFB) Blaine (Blaine, Jamie Samuel) Age: 23
Scotsman Jamie Blaine was determined to pursue a rugby union career in 1960. He dropped out at the last second when he realized he’d have to follow orders for a living, never mind knowing every part of the game for most of his life and being a strong team player other than that. After opening his own fish and chip shop in the city, Jamie became part of the ensemble of RLBFB, where he puts salt and vinegar (his favourite seasonings) into action.
Did ye ken? Jamie is the go-to guy for the inside scoop about the RLBFDI series itself, even accidentally leaking information in front of the hosts… but nobody knows where he got this intel.
Quote: “Weel, ah'm an airheid.”
CLAUDE (RLBFB) Claude (Le Page, Claude Yannick) Age: 26
Claude is one of the shorter guys in the competition (something he uses to his advantage), but his obscurity is thwarted both by his tendency to stockpile and by his unique approach to English. Like Blaine, Claude is of Celtic origin; his first language, Breton, uses mutation through consonant voicing, and one can hear it in his similarly confusing accent. The two are not particularly popular with the others, but they are best mates who try to manage their team’s mayhem.
Anavezez? Claude knows that going green will be the thing of the seventies: every time someone throws away something that’s no longer in vogue, he takes it for himself. Few tend to notice until they make a fuss out of the clutter.
Quote: “Reduce, triage, envoyez à Le Page.”
WOODY (RLBFB) Woody (Gutta, Woodrow Ngahere) Age: 15
Of all the season 1 contestants, Woody was given the least chance to mature. Until about 1972, he was only known for being pantophobic—afraid of everything—and it was this trait that greatly divided the viewers’ loyalties: Is he cute or just annoying? But in later episodes of RLBFB, Woody grew into something of a hero, because with the help of his former tormentor Ady (of all people), he soon learned to find the courage within himself to be brave.
Did you know? Outside the world of RLBFB, Woody is a celebrity in his own right. He was a part of an adventure arcade game in the sixties, and Ady is even planning to join him in in his own fear-facing reality show.
Quote: “asjdaiosmdjoidjsaoiahoehwofhwoifhoifss! haa.”
DORA (RLBFB) Dora (Marquez, Dora) Age: 23
This Dora was clearly inspired by the title character from American series Dora the Explorer. She was advertised as speaking “perfect Spanish” and having a bob hairdo not unlike that of Imogene Coca. But this Dora was driven from her abandoned backlot to live as a stateless rainforest-dweller, just to be transformed by a witch into a rather unattractive stick figure. The chase made headlines! Still, she became human again in the middle of RLBFB 13 to zero applause.
Dadadadada: Dora has the most omnivorous diet out of everybody; she’s responsible for wiping the global plate clean of its (un)inhabited islands. Yet she relies on children to tell her where Atlantis is.
Quote: “How wondrous is this opportunity for me to articulate my innermost sentiments in the print form.”
DAVID (RLBFB) David (Justdavid, David David) Age: 25
“Aw, seriously!” If you hear those words at any time in RLBFDI, chances are they will be said by or in reference to David, the only contestant born a stick figure. He has received a lot of criticism for his abnormality and two-dimensionality (despite being the first debuter in the series in the summer of ’63), but he doesn’t let it faze him. Or perhaps he does... his mysteriousness has led many to believe he has absolutely no distinctions, other than his saying “Aw, seriously”.
Did you know? Out of all the contestants, David is the one that’s revealed the least about his past (apart from those who have adopted fake identities). Even his ID card says that he comes from a town named after him and nothing else.
Quote: “No!”
ROBOTY (RLBFB) Roboty Age: 9
In spite of towering over every other contestant and communicating though ridiculously loud beeps, Roboty is extremely obscure in the RLBFB fandom. Ironically, it’s this obscurity that has made Roboty more popular than he would have been had it not been pointed out. Roboty was developed by a vanguard team of British and African scientists during the colonial era and speaks in the English system of Morse code, so few people can tell when he is being cheeky.
-.. .. -.. / -.-- --- ..- / -.- -. --- .-- ..--.. Roboty received the fewest votes when half of the current contestants were up for voting in 1963. Since he’s always getting eliminated, his exit speeches are getting shorter and shorter.
Quote: .-. . -. .- - .- / .. ... / .... --- -
PAT (RLBFB) Pat (Bloggs, Patrice Lee) Age: 12
Since the early 1960s, RLBFDI has gained millions of new fans, most often children who want to be in the show but can’t. Pat, a phenotypic composite of every other RLBFB contestant, is a surrogate for all of those enthused kids. They claimed that they’ve been in the series ever since it began, which is true in a metaphorical sense. Still, Pat is a genuine contestant, getting sixth place after being eliminated in the episode they first appeared. It’s that easy.
Did you know? Pat was “chosen” as an RLBFB extra in the summer of 1972. They were let in the show after it was discovered that they had been camping right by the show’s location for ten years… and they know all the secrets.
Quote: “I’ll always cherish the funny adventures none of us had together.”
ALELSATAN (RLBFB) Alelsatan
Alelsatan is an extremely enigmatic figure. I don’t even think she counts as a real contestant, even though she does appear for a split second as a “competitor” in the only episode of RLIDFB. As her exonym suggests, she strongly resembles the good contestant Lela, only more evil. No one cares to have a relationship with her (except perhaps Paula), as she hides in the Evil Forest, where she stares off into the distance, emotionlessly waiting for her prey to be consumed with little chance of escape and an almost certain death.
Ḑ̷̨͖̣̝̻̦͊͆͛ĭ̸͓͉͗̿̈́̌̄̏͜͝͝d̷̡̡̗̰͎͎̞̠̻̠̤̓̇͠ ̶̙̗̯̥̞̗̜͓̮̗̜̺̮̗͊́͑̃̈y̸̛̩͒͋̈́͆̌́̊̈́ǒ̶̢̝̗̝̜̤͖̳̼̹̜͜ų̷̧̠̟̫̬̯̠̦̳̠̳͇̫͈͗̎ ̷̢̮̱͚̗̺̭̭̘̔̈́͒̀̔͝k̷̛̲̤̩̘̩͈͍̣͔̫͔̮̞̩̯͐̊̊̓n̴̡̧̡̯͍͍̟̳̖͚̗͈̝̝͊́́͑̇̒̄̅ő̴̡̧̨̝͚̯͉͇̍̉͛̄́̉̄̚ŵ̴̞̤͉̙̙̜̞̰́̑̅͌͗͊̋̃͌͘͠͝?̶̨̢̣̬͇̻̻̞̗̘̗̑͒̑̊̌̈́̇͑̄͌̉̐͜ When Jacknjellify’s “Official Character Guide” was released in limited edition in September 1971, Alelsatan was not once described. Not even book publishers are brave enough to write this being’s name.
No quote.

Final page: Teams and Thanks[]


RLBFBY p9 - Final Page


In words…[]

All together now…
THROUGHOUT the course of the series, contestants have had a chance to interact with those they would have never had a chance with otherwise. For many of them, the team phase is when the most meaningful relationships develop, as contestants come together to co-operate in contests, often with a common goal, whether it be preventing death (Death P.A.C.T.) or elevating the disadvantaged (Beep)... though like in the real world, changes in line-up and relationship status are always bound to occur.

On this final page, you are looking at the contestants in their most recent team configurations, colour-coded according to what team they were on in RLBFB 1 (November 1969). Rows 1 and 2 consist of contestants who were eliminated before the split—they are currently inside Four’s bosom and have little chance to escape. Rows 3 and 4 are those who stayed loyal to Four in 1972, divided into their two teams that were assigned in April of that year. They are clearly a minority when compared to the crowd (rows 5 through 10) that joined Two’s show, RLTPOT, whose teams were formed in its January 1973 premiere.

Acknowledgement
I DON’T THINK this yearbook could be put together or would even exist without the work of Jacknjellify— the real-life one from the 21st century, that is. I would like to express my gratitude to the cast and crew, to every web-site and off-line resource that has helped me compile this project, and to everyone who has come together to make Battle for Dream Island a part of the latest nine years of my life. For this reason, I dedicate this not to the Pencil 2.O Wiki, but to the object show community at large. – Yb.
Battle for Dream Island and everything related thereto © Jacknjellify (YouTube); interpreted by Yterbium (Wikia), AKA andreasybzo (Artbreeder), May[9] 1973 2021.

Additional media[]

Here's a promotional photo of RLBFB from the 12 January 1973 issue of Objecty. Duplicates appeared in major American, British and Canadian television guides sometime around this date, and they were subsequently translated into other languages. Interestingly, many of the portraits shown here (taken in 1971) would be considered somewhat outdated in terms of aesthetics by '73.

This poster is of particular commemorative value because when it was first published, Simon's surname was incorrectly written as "Berger" instead of "Burger".[10][11] This was corrected in later releases.

Now, before I show you this last photo (since this is the point where I suspect many will leave): If you've got any questions or comments about whether anyone looked (or didn't look) the same as or prettier or uglier than you expected, drop me a word or two in the comments... but only if you want to. If I'm going to be honest, I think it would be better if this blog was all hipster-like and only a few people knew of its existence.

RLBFB Promotional Poster


Notes[]

  1. It feels strange to say that, especially because 64 is by no means a small number in the context of object shows.
  2. Side note: Check this section if you want to see vaguely high-resolution photos of the cast.
  3. Don't think of it as a decimal separator, because you'll see that it breaks down on page 8, which has ten contestants instead of the usual nine. No matter how much one wills it, Evil Leafy and Grassy aren't the same beings.
  4. They definitely have over one million subscribers now. Wasn't the case when I was writing this.
  5. As of… you know, I haven't really got a good answer for this. It's clearly the average date each line of dialogue was spoken by a contestant (or the average episode number, for silent people like Thérèse), but the algorithm for determining age also depends on things like whether their age was averaged (does not apply to stick-figured contestants like David) and videos outside the canon, but still made in our universe after 2017. In short, it's complicated.
  6. The link leads to the Artbreeder pagelet. The character might look different from the one in the picture (not smiling, different hair or background etc.), but that's kind of intentional. Play with the settings until you find something that suits you.
  7. Inspired by the character descriptions on the Other Wiki.
  8. The original "Did you know text": A bit too meta for a yearbook that was supposedly made in the 1970s, but it's still worth knowing: "The contestant Nickel from Inanimate Insanity isn't based on Nick Jefferson, but was independently created in 2011 by YouTuber AnimationEpic in the style of RLBFDI's object remake."
  9. I expected that it would come out in May. Not that my expectations came true on the 31st.
  10. Yeah, I typed this out after midnight.
  11. Not that it matters as much; as an exonym by Victorian-era researchers, his name has been transcribed in many ways, including the fanciful "BRRrrrrrGRRRrrr".

Congrats, you've reached the end! There are no more pages, unless you want to stay and see the numerous alternative shots of some of the portraits of the contestants.

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