Being stuck in a quarantine (regardless of whether you are in an area where it's mandatory or not) is weird. I know that we're not at the point at which people are not dying left and right like some kind of apocalypse film, and one should hope that's not the case at all. For blog posts, that's a different kind of concern, unfortunately. About a month ago, I had posted a review of the new Jacknjellify video, "Apply to join BFDI! Animators, Audio Editors, Background/Prop Artists and More", but I accidentally deleted it by changing the file name so that it would appear as a user blog. Instead, I get this.
How does this even happen without creating an account? Sighs. Say goodbye to that unintentional PencilxPen collab, possibly.
It was still a hell of an announcement as soon as Jacknjellify uploaded the sixteenth episode of BFB... or so we think.
Pre-Credits Gag: We first begin at the EXIT, in which Loser talks to himself and everybody else watches. Well, I never! Pencil and Match, being the characters that everyone suddenly wants to hate On a side note, I like moments where we can see what's going on with the eliminated contestants. #1, that hardly ever happened on BFDI, and #2, the public really went overboard on brigading on their elimination choices. I still wonder why Liy even left anyway.
So Pencil's carrying a stethoscope (Her mum is a doctor at the Nairobi apothecary, remember?) and she hands the hearing thingy to Match and they both put it against their ears. That pretty much sets in stone how objects' ears are in the same positions as those of humans, doesn't it? As Pencil and Match are stood with the gaping black holes that they call mouths agape, they realise that Loser has been reading Donut's diary entries, and then he hatches out of his jawbreaker like a fucking egg.
Braclety and nearly everyone else are super happy to see someone like Loser in partial bodily autonomy. Is that a continuity error? Since when did everybody like Loser? I seem to remember 8-Ball informing Bracelety that Ice Cube hates Loser, and therefore she should hate Loser as well. Liy says that she isn't happy about this stuff, and she justifies this by saying that they should all escape the EXIT. I'm guessing that door from that earlier episode had absolutely nothing in it. Nothing.
Stapy makes a list of things that are needed to escape from the EXIT, which is really just some of the recommended characters for this episode—one of which is the Moldy English Cream Cake.
As soon as that plan comes into action, Four visibly changes shape. All of a sudden, he gets a serif and nearly everybody notices. Basketball, who has a noticeably different voice, calls Four pudgy when he looks like he's ready to give birth to a rectangle. This makes Four irrationally angry and he gets so thin that we can see his extra limbs. If you're keeping track of the most horrifying images in each BFB episode, I wouldn't shy away from including this as a candidate.
The Cake at Stake sequence is interrupted by scenes from Four's interior. I can't believe that they survived that whole thinnening ordeal. Pencil and Match start to complain about how fat Stapy is and they call on Loser to climb the ever-increasing pile of things in a scene that's reminiscent of something that I don't remember.
Match calls Bracetely a damn weirdo for making some awful sexual breathing noises at her own mention of saying Ice Cube's name, but Bracelety reminds her that there's a new fashion line—Super-Slip Shoes So Blah. Match then joins Bracelety in the awful sexual breathing noises, which makes so much sense for her character on BFB and on Pencil 2.O! Haha! So Pencil and Match continue to complain when Liy tells them to climb the tower and help Loser reach the unobtainable height. They don't do shit until Liy says that they will be bembers.
Meanwhile, when Four says that somebody will be going home, Gelatin replies with an uninterested "Whatever". He says it at least twice! Donut tells him to stop acting like a spoiled little brat because his character here is supposed to be literally six years old. Well, he then starts to cry violently because he doesn't get a speck of dust for Cake at Stake. What would you do if you didn't get a speck of dust? I'd thank the heavens.
Spongy is eliminated with the majority of the votes because everyone in late 2019 started to have a sudden hatred for Spongy. Four inhales and heavily struggles to inhale Spongy. A part of him shows up on Four's insides, and Pencil says how gross it is to see a sponge pop out of nowhere. I mean, that is kind of disturbing—not that it's Spongy, but the fact that it's not his whole body we see. Liy says that Spongy is connected to the outside world, but Pencil and Match say "fuck this" and only Loser holds on. He climbs through one of Spongy's stretchy holes along with the other eliminated contestants, except for Pencil, Match and Firey Jr. That last one goes "Aw, man!" like a petulant little child.
As Four continues to struggle to get Spongy inside of him in a scene that's heavily reminiscent of shitting backwards, Snowball realises that this has never happened in the history of numberkind and all of the remaining contestants parade over to watch this circus. It's like an angry mob full of WTF! Also, you can see in the crowd Woody, who has been shrunk to be smaller than Ice Cube. That's delightfully weird, but honestly, so is this entire scene.
Loser is then seen gliding through Spongy's porous body with much grace, and it's all set to Tchaikovsky's Waltz of the Flowers. I feel like that was one of the first scenes animated (even if it had barely any context to it), right around the Christmas holidays. When else could you find yourself in the Nutcracker spirit? Then everybody else goes through Spongy clumsily. Four begins to make broken toilet sounds, and the bystanders freak out until Loser and the other eliminated ones see the outside world.
That's when everyone falls in love, all except for Four, who is "next level mad" for everyone escaping the EXIT. Tree decides to lead the revolt against the disgraced Host, and it results in a tug of war of objects, which could be an object show in itself.
Foldy nearly says the word "shit", but quickly changes it to "sheets of paper". Nice save! As soon as the tussle is over, some unknown being says "Hi, guys!" from outside the Earth and Moon and that's when the episode's bizarre phase begins.
To amp things up even more, Firey jumps onto Spongy and the flames reach Four. I guess nobody else in the past fifteen episodes had ever thought about setting Four ablaze. Seriously? In a bizarre psychedelic moment, Four screams "Yowchie!", and then X hands him some OJ. Inanimate Insanity is still a thing, you know!
Four yells that Spongy and Loser have to go back to the EXIT and then epically chases them in a game of cat-and-mouse. They run off and this spectated race of some sort gets interrupted by none other than a Two that has fallen from the sky.
I always love it when a new host is announced. I find the opinion to be different from that of other people, however, like back when the whole BFDIA 5 stuff happened and we were all confused on who the host was supposed to be. Who knew all of those speaker boxes were there to cause confusion? Anyway, Four tells this unexpected visitor to get the fuck out of his way just for the reason that he was supposed to be chasing Spongy and Loser.
Two offers Taco something better than the BFDI for which everyone was battling: the ability to move bathrooms upwards so that they reveal a secret apartment building underneath. I'm sure if any of the characters in my headcanons are architects, then they'd be interested, but this is beyond the point. It happens that everyone here is an architect because they all pine for that power.
Well, almost all of them. Tennis Ball and Golf Ball are apprehensive of this, and GB even goes as far as to ask shit like "Is it a qualified host?", which are all questions that we'd all been asking about Four in the first place. On another note, the BFDI Wiki says that Two uses any-gendered pronouns on account of Four's saying that there is no such thing as that darn gender thing on the planet that he's from. Two is voiced by Niall Burns, who is male, so I'll be using "he/him".
One scene cut later, Two literally opens a volcano with the powers invested in his bare hands and throws molten liquid inside Bottle, who explodes and presumably dies. TWO KILLED SOMEONE. And then he moves a forest, which seems to be enough to convince people to move to his own show. The show basically splits into two at this point, and Spongy is still not eliminated. All of you thousands of voters have just wasted your brackets, sorry. I think I voted for Spongy, too, but whatever.
Tree says that this is all a bunch of bullshit, but then Two changes a part of the sky into some spiky kind of ball that hits Four cruelly. This naturally causes Four to have a tantrum and, out of spite, convent the prize of a BFDI into a BFB. Does this mean that this show is now called Battle for Battle for Battle for Dream Island? Trippy. On another note, the BFB is supposed to be one of those videos in videos that you often find in YouTubers to share screens with the outside world. Even trippier! Gelatin commemorates this with a celebratory jukebox.
Fan calls this a bunch of bullshit and says that the BFB is so much worse than a BFDI, which is probably one of the most blatant examples of audience surrogacy I've ever seen in this series. Do Jnj really think that the fans believe BFDI was better than BFB? Crap, what are the messages this million-strong community are sending to them? We're not all nostalgia freaks!
After Taco and Book have some brief separation because of the first one's desire for a BFB, Four recovers Bottle, who says that she is escaping the hell out of Four's oppressive grasp. X offers him a juice box, and the Four begins to cry, I think. There's a bunch of emotional noises, and then I assume Four and X break up. I should like to assume that's the better thing to do when your partner's emotionally manipulating you. Unimpressed emoji.
Two announces the name of the brand-new show, THE POWER OF TWO! He supposedly kills off the rest of the cast by sending Four and a bunch of dramatis personæ to an unknown, undisclosed, unique location, which means that there are forty people on this brand new show. Twenty-six characters suddenly speak out of nowhere at the same time, and Two says that anyone deserves the chance to move objects at their will.
I sort of knew this at the start, but we were to vote for a recommended character for the next episode. We've got this brand-new audition sequence that I wholeheartedly think people are going to make parodies of. It was a difficult decision—all of the characters look very well-animated, even Nonexisty, and the fact that none of them talked in order to reduce bias was a genius move. I voted for Price Tag; the font Calibri in an object show really gets to me.
At the end of the episode, we get Cary and Michael stood at the same place, talking about their new channel, the Firey plush
For the post-credits scene, Taco approaches Four and tells him that there are now only fourteen characters in BFB now. Of the fourteen, eight of them had participant statuses on YouTube that debuted in 2010, two of them in 2012 and Balloony, Lollipop, Loser and Taco by BFB. All of these are somehow the fan favourites—I bet they'd be on the Squashy Grapes and all of the cool people are TPOT fans. That's what the show's called. TPOT. I thought it was funny because the logo colour was green, but it's also funny because it sounds like the word "teapot".
Random Quote: "Spongy's the largest contestant to be eliminated by seven times!" - Bottle
P.S.: Now my chances of seeing PencilxPen in this show went from 0.001% to 0.000%! There will be an edit to the fan-written stuff on Pencil 2.O, I legitimately promise. Just not now...
Top 5 speaking contestants from BFB 13
- Four (385 syllables)
- Two (252 syllables)
- Michael (221 syllables)
- Loser (208 syllables)
- Stapy (161 syllables)
The remaining contestant with the highest number of syllables is Gelatin, with 151.
Top 10 speaking contestants in BFB, so far
- Golf Ball
- Lollipop (1 ↑)
- Barf Bag (1 ↓)
- Liy (2 ↑)
- Gaty (1 ↓)
Liy replaces Balloony (now #11) in the top 10. The highest increase in dialogue rankings is that of Michael (16 ↑), followed by Loser's (15 ↑).
39% of Loser's dialogue comes from this episode. Two, as of now, has spoken more syllables than 15 contestants, and it is expected that this number will rise.
After their eliminations...
- Pencil went from #8 to #28.
- Bracelety went from #29 to #47.
- Liy went from #3 to #9.
- Roboty went from #49 to #60.
- Loser went from #27 to #26.
- 8-Ball went from #19 to #40.
- Stapy went from #13 to #14.
- David went from #56 to #63.
- Match went from #8 to #12.
- Firey Jr. went from #43 to #50.
- Dora went from #47 to #49.
- Spongy is now at #52.
These rankings may no longer matter with the sudden show separation.