Hey, another episode review! I’m not planning on giving spoilers within the first paragraph, but I have to say that this is one of the greater episodes in this season so far.
So begins the last episode of the decade of BFDI. Seriously. Object shows were barely a thing anywhere in the world in the 2000s, much less on a YouTube platform where millions of people can click on them, and look here we are!
Pre-Credits Gag: Gelatin begins the show with that line “There isn’t enough room up here”, all before Flower pushes him into the lava landscape and dons a pair of cool shades. He loves to complain about there being way too little space, doesn’t he?
Meanwhile, Taco freaks out about Book’s finally realising that her actions damn right have consequences, and her voice sounds different. I don’t know what it is; she sounds like Bell in this episode which doesn’t make sense because Taco and Bell have both always had Kenzie Bryant (also known as Pokey)as their voice actor.
Leafy butts in and says that Taco should say some bullshit about friendship and stuff, which would be a logical solution had this whole rivalry between Taco and Book not been so strong. Anyway, Needle tells Leafy to mind her own business whilst slapping her. What? She didn’t even say “needy”! That old familiar snatching sound is heard and Leafy gets caught by Firey. Are they going to kiss?
Admittedly, I thought they did it during the theme song, because you know, it’s all long and stuff, but it turns out that Firey and Leafy have got some hate boners going on. Why are they so angry? Firey says that no one likes Leafy any more—I thought all that Leafy-hatred was popular in the early episodes of BFDIA, right? Why’d it take us seven years to learn that Firey was with that bunch too? The two of them start arguing and we’re supposed to get some real melodramatic vibes from this.
The remainder of Team Jasjiofsajiocmasoiasmoiasmjoi are hidden in a crevice under the planet, where lava is supposed to be flowing, but Lollipop uses repellant repeatedly to get it away from her team. Gaty starts to cry because she fears being eliminated, at I assumed that her tears would cause the lava to disappear from everywhere because of the power of emotion. You don’t have to watch Frozen to know that trope. Anyway, Dora goes above the surface, harasses Four, and before you know it, all of Team Uasuisamucsimuisucm are sat at tables. Even Book.
This episode’s Cake at Stake prize is a happy thought, which I suppose should be interpreted how one would: Ice Cube’s, for example, is Book, Leafy, Pencil and Match being burnt as revenge. They’ve even got the 2010 assets! I don’t know about you, but a part of me is thinking that this could be a part of a lost BFDI episode from the olden days. Start writing your Creepypastas, people! Taco’s is Book sacrificing her life for hers, which I laughed at because far be it from any BFB fan to consider that scene happy. Book’s thought is a throwback from BFDI, and we even get the voice of Announcer in it! That shit rumbled through my headphones, I swear.
Dora gets eliminated so the potential trademark controversies can be... abetted? sellified? Yeah, the word is mollified; I had just forgotten it. But whatever. I was one of the tuh-housands people who voted for Dora, I think. Good riddance, sorry not sorry, thank you, next.
As we see Dora being forced into the room of eternal algebra, we get Pen, Bottle and Remote playing with the outside of Four’s shell. Ew! Why the hell do they have such an orgasmic reaction to that? They’re all in a forest, by the way. A fOUREST, to be more specific. It looks like Twitter. So because everyone is dead and all of the alive people are too far away to care about anything other than contestant-related drama, Four declares that the contest is to just approach him. Enraged, of course. How else could he say it? At least he’s got X to
mummify MOLLIFY him.
Firey and Leafy continue to argue and Needle yells at them to shut the fuck up. At least 40% of her syllables throughout this season were spoken in this episode, which I found cool. Puffball speaks, too! She gets into a war with Spongy and she even does the same dodging manoeuvre that Spongy had done in BFDI and Trashy Leafy in BFDIA. So there’s a chain of reactions in this: Puffball attempts to gather her teammates, Foldy and Bell, but gets Spongy’s ship killed. Oof.
Taco and Book attempt to make small talk, but the misbehaviours of Gianpiero, Bethel and Renata cause Four to get his magical fingers and extract them all out of his body. They’re safe because they’re always safe.
Blocky calls out Flower for being a histrionic drama queen, and Tennis Ball calls him out for doing the challenge incorrectly, but Blocky slingshots himself in another graphic scene involving his pouncing upon Puffball. She shakes him off with Foldy, proving a point about Blocky’s and Eraser’s unhealthy obsession with objects who fly.
After an epic crossfade of some kind, Firey and Leafy continue to argue. Firey tells Leafy to name somebody of whom she is a friend and he specifies one that she has “never gotten incredibly angry at”. Ooh, that was a damn BURN! Literally! The two of them continue to argue after that. When have these people become an old, unhappily-married couple?
Flower presses a remote and Golf Ball’s underground laboratory flushes itself of its shit. Lava shit, or is it magma because it’s underground? All of the lava falls down the Waterfalls of Depression and out of Four’s bloodshot eyes. Seriously. Woody escapes, though, surfing on an emerald. Okay, okay, that part I found cute.
I didn’t notice it the first time I watched this because I was so focused on the recommended characters, but Spongy saves his life as he parachutes down onto the size-of-two-Spongies runway. Remember when I was so upset at parachutes back then that I wrote that Pen lost one of his army buddies from one? Shit changes itself, I guess.
Coiny and Naily race against Flower, and suddenly he betrays Naly by kicking her, and Flower just sticks her into the ground. What the fuck? That was like a temporary friendship prematurely destroyed! Yeah, so Team Ice Cube are up for elimination and all is well... Or is it?
Leafy gets her friend Eggy recovered, and she asks if she’s her friend. Firey is incredulous at that because, well, people can be friends with Leafy. Sure it sounds impossible in this day and age, but it does tend to happen. However, Firey mentions how Leafy had stolen Dream Island like eight years ago and Eggy is pissed off.
Post-Credits Gag: Needle, Eggy and Firey gossip like a bunch of juvenile chickens whilst Leafy is sat in the corner, sulking. There are actually a large number of images on the Internet that are basically that, you know, a couple of people gossiping like a bunch of juvenile chickens as another person sulks. Coiny touches upon this because he’s in an apparent love-me-hate-me relationship with Firey, noticing her extremely melancholic state, so he invites Leafy to bring back the deceased.
Four does that because he’s being awfully merciful in this episode, and who comes out of it but Clock? He doesn’t care, and you can tell.
Oh! Near the end of the episode, you know, when we’re all being told to vote and how to vote, Michael Huang appears. Y’know, the one who kind of (co-)made Jacknjellify? Anyway, he tells us about the Firey plush, celebrates the ten-year anniversary of BFDI and warns us about the future of BFDI and C.O.P.P.A., which I found out is not pronounced “Crappy Out-of-touch Peremptory Parental Alternative”. All of this in the real world, too, and with him telling us to smash that subscribe button! Oh nuts, Jnj have gone the way of most mainstream YouTubers. But it is a nice step, in a way. Can you imagine them doing this in 2012, when we only had like one picture of the Huang brothers? I think not.
Random Quote: “One of you will be going away feeling empty inside.” - Four... I mean, it’s not that bad if they got there feeling empty inside.
Top 5 speaking contestants from BFB 13
- Leafy (328 syllables)
- Four (306 syllables)
- Michael (293 syllables)
- Firey (248 syllables)
- Gaty (142 syllables)
Top 10 speaking contestants in BFB, so far
- Golf Ball
- Leafy (3 ↑)
- X (1 ↓)
- Barf Bag (1 ↓)
- Lollipop (1 ↓)
- Gaty (2 ↑)
- Balloony (1 ↓)
61% of Firey's dialogue comes from this episode. At this point, Michael, although appearing for a moment near the ending, has spoken more syllables than twenty-two contestants have in the entire season, including Pillow, Firey Jr. and Bottle.
After their eliminations...
- Pencil went from #8 to #33.
- Bracelety went from #29 to #53.
- Liy went from #3 to #11.
- Roboty went from #49 to #59.
- Loser went from #27 to #41.
- 8-Ball went from #19 to #37.
- Stapy went from #13 to #24.
- David went from #56 to #64.
- Match went from #8 to #15.
- Firey Jr. went from #43 to #48.
- Dora is now at #47.