The Ego Games

"The Ego Games" is a new episode of Pencil 2.O, and until recently, there has been neither number nor date associated. In this episode, Pencil and Pen teach the kids their differing opinions on selfishness. This episode was also based on a conversation of poverty I overheard at the airport once. It is sort of like a holiday-themed episode

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Nagano Beach Club

• Pencil: An' wot did you get?
• Saye: I got—
• Zorah: My very own emergency button! See? Press it!
• Saye: Okay … [a very loud alarm sounds] What the Trondheim was that?
• Zorah: Sorry, I'll use that for real emergencies. Like pranks. And stuff that might never happen.
• Pen: [off-screen] Oh, G-d, I never knew she'd use that for—
• Pencil: So, wot did you get, Saye?
• Saye: I got—
• Sio: OMNL, check out this clarinet!
• Pencil: —thet I totally din't use from 'igh school…
• Sio: I've never played an instrument before, and I still might win orchestra auditions! [he plays a note severely off-tune]
• Javier: Can you put that sonic weapon away, Squidward? I think you've broken the empty vials to my AP-official scientist-approved organic chemistry set!
• Citlali: And the mirror to my make-up set!
• Pen: She's ten years old, Pencil, why would she need a—
• Pencil: It promotes individuality by 'avin'e conform to societal norms, m8. So, me flesh an' blood, wot did you get?
• Saye: A—
• Qalam-Rassas: A truck!
• Ximena: A duck!
• Duck: Ga! Ga!
• Yaretzi: I got a daily journal of all of the random acts of kindness I can do in an hour!
• Zorah: Do you ever stop?
• Pencil: [sigh] Wot—
• Salvador: If there isn't a better football simulation game, it's this! Huuha!
• Pen: Yaaaas!
• Pencil: Why did I choose all th' Hanuchristmas gifts?
• Pen: For one thing—
• Saye: K, so what I got was the greatest, the best, and the most amaaaaaaz—

[Cil cries, and alphabet blocks fall on Pencil Jr., spelling "in your face".]

Nagano Beach Club

• Pen: So how's everyone loving their gifts so far?
• Zorah: [half-heartedly] We … love them!
• Ximena: [petting her duck] Couldn't ask for anything better, like a—
• Sio: Thing!
• Pencil: Y'don' like 'em, innit?
• Zorah: Not at all.
• Sio: We could have got better things!
• Pencil: Ye in— [to Pen] Wot shall I do? Wait, I'll jus' give 'em the selfishness talk.
• Pen: I'll be right back.

[He goes to the secondary cabin.]

• Ximena: I'm betting my duck that he won't come back.
• Pencil: Thet son of a corpse!
• Pen: [in the other room] Heard that!
• Pencil: Good!
• Saye: Mum, why're you so mad at us?
• Pencil: Listen, I ain' mad at'ee. I'm mad at Pen 'imself fer raisin'ee thet way.
• Sio: What do you mean?
• Pencil: When I was around yer age, we were jus' a middle-income family in the suburbs o' Nairobi. Then, when I was seven, me dad lef' fer the war, an' … an'
• Javier: Yes?
• Pencil: … 'e took all of our money with 'im, an' thet money was never seen again!
• Sio: We'll never see grandpa the same way anymore.
• Pencil: 'Iwa'n't 'is fault! 'E was forced to abandon it acos'o possible mutiny. Meanwhils', in Kenya, we were really poor.
• Saye: But I thought in high school you were middle class again!
• Pencil: I know, but me mum built up all on 'er life jus' ter 'ave money again. Livin' a life of poverty'll be somethin'ee'll ne'er experience.
• Yaretzi: What was it like?
• Pencil: We 'ad to save up on food, couldn' shop a' certaim places acos 'ey'd ne'er let us. We were forced to stay in our 'ouses an' me mum could only afford jus' one football fer Needle an' I. An' while me other friends were out on dates in fancy restaurants an' usin' computers (this was 2002, mind'ee), I was stuck in the gutter 'avin' to do work a' the factory part time from school. Little known fact, our country used ter 'ave factories. Meanwhile, all ye lot now live in a palace in one o' the riches' areas in the country. You actually can afford pretty much anythin' jus' from yer bank account. Yer probably known as the rich kids a' school, jus' like yer father …

Secondary cabin

• Pen: Oh, Sachairi, what should I do? I've probably destroyed the lives of my children and the love of my life.
• Sachairi: TimeFace-ing Eraser.
• Pen: No, that's not what I meant!
• Sachairi: Trust me, this will work.
• Pen: Okay …

[Eraser is on.]

• Eraser: Hey, Pen, what's up?
• Pen: Hi, Eraser.
• Eraser: How's Japan?
• Pen: Well, in the perspective of the national language, it's sugoi!
• Eraser: Did you forget we're Jewish, man?
• Pen: Eraser, I've got a problem.
• Eraser: Talk to me!
• Pen: My wife just told the kids they're being selfish.
• Eraser: What did they do?
• Pen: We gave them their Hanuchristmas gifts, and pretty much all of them hated them.
• Eraser: They were chosen by Pencil.
• Pen: Well that wasn't nice. But really, what should I do?
• Eraser: You need to assert your selfishness and show that you don't care a word about what she thinks! Just don't do anything stupid like hold a war to see which idiotology is better—
• Match: Hey bae, who are you talking to? [sees Pen] Omg, a gorgon. [She punches the screen.]
• Pen: Well!
• Eraser: Sorry, we'll just go buy five new extras.

[He hangs up.]

• Pen: He hung up without saying good-bye! What kind of Canadian is he?

With Pencil

• Pencil: There are, like, starvin' children in Americker 'o probably need 'ose gifts more than'ee do. So please, don' be like yer father. I want yer lives to be filled with benevolence, an' thet can't 'appen with an arrogant, egotistical jock utensil in yer way.
• Yaretzi: Wow! I never knew that much about your life.
• Saye: I would like to guess that we should donate our gifts.
• Ximena: It would be for the greater good.
• Salvador: What? But I still want mine!
• Sio: Yeah, and these gifts are way out of my type.
• Pencil: Bein' hones', 'tis out o' me care wote'er path y'choose in life. All yer choice. Jus' remember to choose the way thet yer 'eart itself wants to follow. Don' let yerself down.
• Sio: Bye!

[She leaves the room.]

• Yaretzi: That was probably the most inspiringational talk I've ever done heard.
• Zorah: All I heard was the sound of the wind flowing through my eraser.
• Sio: Yeah, come on! She is out of her mind!
• Salvador: Who cares if there's poor people in poor countries like America or Switzerland? We're not poor!
• Saye: Come on, Chavo, she wants us to think of others. And you I'm surprised. Your name, Salvador, refers to Yesu Kristo, y'know.
• Salvador: We're also Jewish.

[Just then, a figure appears in the doorway.]