Stateside Holiday

Unfinished story ahead! "Tonight we have to avoid completion of things, like, y'know ..." - Pen Finishing an article? This story is not finished, and due to the creator's schedule, it may need waiting. I suggest to all you readers that you be patient or make a suggestion with this story.

Warning! "Wot'n ale's fozz'r'ye doin'?" - Pencil This page contains profanity, like the sentence above. I have created two ways to censor those words, but I've also discovered that on mobile view, they lie uncensored. So please, show some cognoscience about what you may see. If you do have a problem with profanity, please refer to this page § 3.

"Stateside Holiday" is a new episode of Pencil 2.O, and until recently, there has been neither number nor date associated. In this episode, after going on holiday themselves, Pencil and Pen decide to take the kids to the "real" Los Angeles

Friday, July 18, 2014

Very early morning

• Pen: Oh my... We forgot about... Cil!

[He shakes Pencil awake.]

• Pencil: Oi... wot's the matter?
• Pen: Penc, I had the most horrible realisation.
• Pencil: Thet it's 2 in the mornin'?
• Pen: No. For, like, a month, our son has been missing!
• Pencil: Which son?
• Pen: The little one, Cil!

[The colour literally drains from her face.]

• Pen: Pencil? You okay?
• Pencil: [most shocked] We're shiってぃ parents.
• Pen: No, no, we aren't bad parents! People forget their kids all the time, like... when you got left on the moon.

[The colour gets back into her.]

• Pencil: I'm awake now. We've got to do somethin' in return!
• Pen: But that's bribing, and we can't do that to our kids!
• Pencil: Oh come on, people bribe their kids all the time, like... the times when Ari gave'ee money to shut'ee h'up on thet international scandal!
• Pen: I see your point.
• Pencil: I'm under a blanket!
• Pen: Eh, you know what it means!

[The theme song.]

Kitchen

• Pencil: [Aside.] One... two... three... four...
• Javier: Whom are you counting, mother?
• Pencil: Children.
• Javier: Always a good thing to headcount once in a while.
• Pencil: This time, it's different. We know wot's goin' on.
• Sio: What's going on?
• Pencil: You should know! I h'ain' sayin'e.
• Javier: Sio, what should we do? Try to pry it out of her?
• Sio: No, it's easier to wait for Dad to come home.
• Javier: True.
• Ximena: What's going on?
• Sio: Mum's got a secret.
• Javier: And we're trying to get it out of her.
• Ximena: Ooh, can I join?
• Saye: At this point, we might as well make this a thing for the ten of us! I mean, nine of us.
• Sio: Wait! Saye, you just made sense!
• Saye: What?
• Sio: I think that Mum finally figured out that... Cil's been missing!

[A. R. I.]

• Saye: Guys! None of this actually our fault, though.
• Citlali: We were victims of situation.
• Zorah: Personally, I think that we should get back at them.
• Yaretzi: We should avenge them?
• Zorah: And I think I know exactly how!

Dinner

• Ximena: It's so nice that we're all dining... as a whole family.
• Citlali: It's funny how I have exactly ten peas on my plate.

[She eats one.]

• Citlali: And now I have nine!
• Javier: This suspense is killing me!
• Yaretzi: I wish I could have invited my friend Silvia.
• Zorah: Where is she?
• Yaretzi: Transylvania!
• Saye: I think they got the point.
• Pen: That our toddler son has disappeared sometime within the last month and we've been carrying on without noticing? We know.
• Pencil: [to Pen] We were supposed to leave'e to the children to find out!
• Pen: Oh, right.
• Sio: Cil's not gone?
• Pencil: Then where's 'e gone?
• Sio: He hangs above my bed at night! He doesn't need anything to survive, really!
• Pencil: 'S thet true?
• Javier: He is different from the rest of us.
• Qalam-Rassas: Yes, he is little.
• Pencil: I'm glad thet's been ta'en care o'.
• Sio: But there is one more question. Dad, remember when you did a headcount yesterday morning?
• Pen: Was he there?
• Sio: I convinced him to get out of the bed. But you didn't notice he was there!
• Pen: I don't notice when half my kids are there. It's early morning, after all.
• Pencil: This is wot I means by h'incompetent! None o' this'd'r'appened if you'd let me take an 'eadcount once in a while!
• Pen: We're just glad you're okay.
• Pencil: Aye, we can let this pas' be h'a pas' an'...
• Salvador: Hold it!
• Ximena: Chavo!
• Salvador: Something is wrong. [to Pencil] Where were you on the last days of June?
• Pencil: [thinking] The las' days o' June... damn, we go on so many adventures toge'er.
• Pen: That was when you were replaced with that human.
• Pencil: Oh, aye, Janeka. [dreamily] An' thet G.P.

[Pen looks at her suspiciously.]

• Pencil: 'E's exactly the same body h'as you've got if you were an 'Omo sapiens, m8, no needs to worry.
• Pen: I mean, you were in L.A.
• Saye: Hey, that's a great idea!
• Ximena: Yeah! In exchange for that Cil incident, you can take us to Laos! [Beat.] That's what L.A. means, right?
• Citlali: Saye means we should all go to Los Angeles! That's where all the famous people live, and maybe where I can make it as a star!
• Javier: It does seem like the cliché that everyone should go there, and we'd be contributors of that stereotype in itself.
• Yaretzi: Whatever he said! But wait, that Cil thing was still, like, totally not our fault. And I still feel sorry!
• Zorah: Look, we had nothing to do with it.
• Sio: It was Cil's own idea.
• Pen: Then it's settled! In exchange for our mutual guilt, I offer ourselves a week-long, summer holiday to Vientiane!
• Javier: Los Angeles.
• Pen: There.
• Saye: Will Cil go with us?
• Pencil: O' course! Y'says 'e's above yer bed, all 'e h'e'er saw's 'ow long ye sleep in the summers! If anyone deserves an 'oliday, it's him!
• Pen: May we see him?
• Pencil: You shouldn' ask if you can see yer own child, softie!

[She playfully elbows Pen.]

• Pen: You're right. We're seeing your brother, wherever he is.

[Sio points towards the boys' room, where the parents follow.]

• Ximena: Can you believe it, we're going to Hollywood!
• Citlali: WHOO!
• Saye: I just hope there isn't a catch.
• Salvador: There will, knowing Pen and Pencil.
• Cil: [from the bedroom] Goo!
• [ Pencil · Pen ]: God, how much we missed that wittle woice!

[The other kids roll their eyes.]

Saturday, July 20, 2014

LAX Airport

• Maritca: [to Pen] Have a nice trip! [to Pencil] Enjoy the USA! [to the ten kids] Have fun! Goodbye! Oh, that's a lot...
• Pencil: 'Ere we are in the States.
• Pen: What have I told you kids about behaviour in another country?

[Everyone says different things.]

• Pen: Right. I give too much advice. I'm going to the baggage.
• Pencil: 'Ave fun!

[As Pen leaves, Pencil looks back.]

• Pencil: I suppose the mos' important rule, thet we're in another land, 's thet you shan't separate from each other. This is a large city we're in, an one in which we h'ain' acquainted, so h'I'm to need thet all o' ye should stay toge'er.
• Javier: Don't forget, no making fun of local customs.
• Pencil: Aye, Chavo, wot'n'ale'd you repeat "Schiphol" on thet aeroplane fer ele'en hours fer anyway?
• Salvador: It sounded like a bad word!

[Pen returns with the luggage.]

• Pencil: Wow, you're back early!
• Pen: Turns out that when your father's internationally known, you get things faster!

[Pencil rolls her eyes, still smiling.]

• Pencil: Aye... "known".

Rental Car Area

• Pen: I got ten.
• Pencil: I've counted twelve, m8, where'd ye learn yer maths?
• Pen: Oh yeah, people do say we're like children.
• Saye: Mona, isn't this great? We get our own car!
• Ximena: Yay!
• Cil: Goo!
• Pen: We searched far and wide but we finally fits a six-people-sized car.
• Salvador: Hollywood's got everything!
• Pencil: This ain' 'Ollywood, kid, it's a town thet's in the same county—there's a distinction in thet, I know.
• Sio: Which one's our car?
• Pen: He said it was that one.

[He points towards a shiny red one.]

• Javier: It's calling our name; it's got to be this!
• Pen: I hope I remember how to—
• Zorah: Drive a car? Me too!
• Pen: I was going to say drive on the other side of the road.
• Pencil: Aye. Kenya's very different.
• Sio: You don't know how to drive this, Dad?
• Pen: Even though my heart's Canadian, it left before I could learn to drive.
• Qalam-Rassas: What about when we were away?
• Pencil: QR, th'ole time we were in Europe, yer great uncle drove us, remember?
• Pen: Uncle Tore's got a heavy foot, that's why.
• Pencil: Walk, don' run.
• Saye: Where do you people get this—Never mind, just let me drive!
• Pen: Didn't you fail your driving testn when you were in Edmonton?
• Saye: Never mind, you drive!
• Pen: I was thinking that too!

[Pencil elbows Pen.]

• Pen: Did I do anything wrong?

[Pencil points at the kids.]

• Zorah: Mum, Chavo took my spell book!
• Javier: That's littering, you don't want to go to jail again!
• Salvador: As long as Zorah doesn't turn me into anything when we're here.
• Zorah: We're already here!
• Yaretzi: Hey, you're being so negative right now!
• Ximena: Yeah!
• Pencil: Oi, kids, no one should be fightin'! We came 'ere, all twelve of us, to celebrate thet we're a family!
• Sio: I thought we were here because you were feeling guilty about forgetting your youngest son.
• Pen: Why does it sound bad when he says it?
• Pencil: Jus' drive, m8! Seatbelts, all of'ee.
• All: Yes, Mum!

[The car moves, and the kids all cheer at that.]

Freeway

• Pen: Driving this is easy. It might be the easiest thing I've ever done!
• Pencil: 'Ow rude! Kids, y'doin' fine back there?

[They are all either reading books or playing on their phones.]

• Pencil: O' course.
• Saye: Sorry if we're boring, but, like, there's nothing to see.
• Sio: We've been going at 6 km/hour!
• Pencil: Now I don' want ter 'ear any o' thet talk whils' we're in America... They use miles, not kilometres.

At the hotel

• Pencil: Wow!
• Ximena: Ten beds...
• Yaretzi: Ten televisions...
• Salvador: I bet we have ten housekeepers too!
• Saye: Wait. If there are nine beds for us, and I assume you'll want to share a bed with Dad, where will Cil sleep?

[Pencil and Pen look at each other.]

• [ Pencil · Pen ]: Aw, she mentioned his name!
• Pencil: Anyway, we've got the bes' thing.
• Sio: Just watch!

[She takes out something from her bag. Once she presses a button, it inflates into a crib.]

• Sio: You're welcome.
• Cil: Goo!
• Saye: Lallie, you've been awfully quiet.
• Citlali: They're transporting my call. FOR THE PAST TEN MINUTES!
• Javier: You mean transferring, right?
• Citlali: Shut up, I hear a voice!

[She walks to her side of the room.]

• Pencil: Oi, don' geh thet far, international calls are expensive! [realising] Oh, ne'er mind, we're rich! I'm a-call Match.
• Zorah: She just wants to be in a Hollywood movie.
• Yaretzi: Or at least have a sitcom with her in it.

[Yaretzi looks forward, as if there were a camera there.]

• Pencil: [calling Match's number] I'm usin' a real American telephone!
• Pen: We have cell phones, you know—
• Pencil: Shut up, this is cool.

[She waits a bit.]

• Match: [on the other side, at her house] You still single?
• Pencil: Match, it's Penc!
• Match: Sorry, I didn't, like, know that number so I thought it was, like, my Cinder date. Where are you?
• Pencil: We're in Los Angeles!
• Match: No way, I love that city!
• Pencil: Thet's right, 'ow could I e'er ferget thet you've got a man 'ere?
• Match: So what brings you to, like, La-La Land?
• Pencil: Eh?
• Match: It's what they call it. At least, that's what my Vontubo told me. Hey, like, if you need any help or if you're in trouble of some kind, like, tell me and I'll be there. [to Eraser, off-screen] Omg, Eraser, don't do that! The dining room is not place for such, like, shenanigans.
• Pencil: Tell'e we're in L.A., I'm sure 'e could do wote'er 'e's a-doin'.
• Match: Kay. ERASER! Your brother's in Los Angeles!
• Eraser: [quietly in the background] Did they go to Amsterdam?
• Match: [to Pencil] Did you—
• Pencil: Aye. Can I say 'i ter 'im?
• Match: Omg, like, say hi to Pencil.
• Eraser: I'm high.
• Match: You're done, like, for.
• Eraser: I'm going to walk to Amsterdam.
• Match: No, wait, don't—

[The door closes.]

• Pencil: Sounds like you're 'a'in' trouble. I'll be there!

[They both laugh.]