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Contest
Hotel lobby
- Two: [entering the hotel] Hop Bell, what's the problem here?
- Hop Bell: Ask them. [points to Discy, Conch Shell and Boom Mic, who look worried]
- Discy: Well, it happened a couple of minutes ago.
[Flashback to a couple of minutes ago, in Room 202. Discy, Conch Shell and Boom Mic are dancing in their hotel room to disco music on a vinyl record player.]
- Boom Mic: Cool jams!
- Conch Shell: What the heck kind of music is this, anyway?
- Discy: Disco! It's all the rage these days! My dad told me about it when we were stationed in Goikyan Okinawa.
- Conch Shell: It's so catchy. Like a rash.
- Boom Mic: Omg, what if BRACELETY likes disco as much as I do?
- Discy: Sure she will. I know this kind of music is going to last forever.
[As soon as she says that, the record player explodes.]
- Boom Mic: Don't think that's what forever means.
[End flashback.]
- Discy: ... and when we got out of the room, it turns out Leek had the same problem.
[Enter Leek, who goes downstairs with Salt Lamp.]
- Leek: Oh, good, the manager. Two, we're having a problem with the lights.
- Two: It's morning; you don't need lights.
- Leek: But I need a lamp so I can read my new book of conspiracy theories! It's a bit strange because I room with a salt lamp in the first place, but—
- Two: [a bit agitated] Oiyeeeeeg, alright, Hop Bell, you know what to do, right?
- Hop Bell: No.
- Two: Go to Room 202 to fix the broken broken broken broken broken record player, and then go to Room 209 to see if the lights are working.
- Hop Bell: At your service.
[Hop Bell salutes Two and exits.]
- Two: Okay.
[Enter PDA with Income Tax Return Document. They look annoyed.]
- Two: What seems to be the problem with you?
- Income Tax Return Document: The noisemaker in the bathroom isn't working. It just goes— [imitating the ding] deeeyuuuump.
- PDA: Yeah, and when I went to get my lunch, a needle fell into our room!
- Two: And you live on the top floor, correct?
- PDA: Well, yeah, but—
- Two: That needle is your new roommate.
- Income Tax Return Document: What about my issue?
- Two: You're an object; you don't need to go to the toilet.
- Income Tax Return Document: Well, this is getting weird. I'm walking outside.
- PDA: Me too.
[Exeunt.]
- Two: Wait, technically, you're still eliminated from episode 1! Bomby, put a stop to this!
- Bomby: No.
Outside
- Barf Bag: [observing] All right, keep working everyone!
[She walks into a pyramidal log that has been put in the pathway.]
- Barf Bag: Who put this log in the way?
- Cake: [off-screen] Sorry, BB, we just found it and used it as a model for our pyramid!
- Barf Bag: Your...
[She looks up and sees that Just Not have arranged themselves in a pyramid formation, the way cheerleaders do in American high school films: Naily, Book and Pillow are on the bottom part, Cake and Nickel on the part and Price Tag on the top.]
- Barf Bag: Whoa. How long can you stay like that?
- Price Tag: Not as long as you'd think. Can you judge us already?
- Barf Bag: Uh... sure. Just as soon as everyone else is finished.
[Exit Barf Bag in a hurry.]
- Book: ISBN... [after which words show up on the screen, saying "I'm s––ting[1] bricks now"] This is going to take a while.
With The S!
[The team are planning on representing Barf Bag's shape with their assets bodies.]
- Winner: It was really smart of you to give Coiny that speech after today's Cake at Stake.
- Gaty: Thanks! With every word of praise, I regret it a little less.
- Winner: No, it was wonderful! Someone needs to step up to "Mr. Hotshot".
- Gaty: Speaking of hotshots, what's with him?
[With her foot, Gaty points to Clock, who is lying down in his beach chair. He is also wearing sunglasses and doesn't seem to notice anyone around him.]
- Winner: Oh. Clock's gone unresponsive.
- Saw: Is he, like, ill or something?
- Winner: Nah, he's just playing it cool.
- Clock: I'm sunbathing.
- Winner: I bet $27.63 that he's going to break in this episode.
- Gaty: Deal.
[Yellow Face begins to yell, which visibly startles Gaty.]
- Yellow Face: Well, Clock's making me sick right now!
- Winner: Oh, why's that, Yellow Face?
- Yellow Face: You know when you're in a really smooth car ride and you feel like it should be bumpier? Well, now you can get that rough car ride experience with "Random Object"! Just place it under any paved country road and it will decrease your chance of throwing up by 99.999997—
- Cloudy: Er... Yellow Face, that sounds a bit like a you problem.
- PDA: [who has been overhearing them] Lol!
- Income Tax Return Document: Yes! Lol!
[Everyone stares at these unexpected visitors—Income Tax Return Document and PDA are surrounded by a few recommended characters.]
Hotel lobby
- Shopping Cart: Two, we have a problem.
- Two: What is it now?
- Shopping Cart: Water isn't coming out of the shower!
- Two: That is a problem. If nothing comes out of the shower, then someone in the higher-ups is in trouble. Maybe it's my new songwriter.
- Shopping Cart: But it's not water that I'm getting in here!
- Two: What is it?
[Enter Tape, wearing a bathrobe. Their roommates Shampoo and VHSy also come down.]
- Tape: Ice! I got hit in the head with the icy!
[Enter Ice Cube, Blender and Onigiri.]
- Ice Cube: Wha?
- Two: Carry on, then! It shouldn't be that bad to shower in ice, especially with this whole global warming thing.
- Ice Cube: Well, I want to bathe in water, not low-quality clones of myself!
[Everyone gasps, for Ice Cube has said something new.]
- Two: Did you just hear her talk?
[Everyone nods silently.]
- Two: Wow! I'd sooner hear Blender speaking English or Snowball reciting Shakespeare than Ice Cube having her first original line in years. Ha, ha, I thought you were like one of those knock-off baby dolls!
[Silence.]
- VHSy: Did anyone else lose their train of thought?
- Shampoo: I was so thrown off by Icy talking that I've completely forgotten about my Nickel-eating obsession.
Outside
With Are You Okay
[Golf Ball shows her team a blueprint of how she wants to set up the team's Barf Bag essence.]
- Golf Ball: With Tennis Ball M.I.C. ["missing in competition"], there are only five of us left.
- Pen: And Fries.
- Eraser: No, Pen, Fries got eliminated.
- Pen: Wait, really?
- Golf Ball: And you've just noticed that now?! Anyway, we don't have time for additional conversations, so let's just set up the team pyramid!
- Puffball: But why are we making a pyramid if everyone else is doing it? [indicating Just Not and some of the other teams trying to arrange themselves]
- Golf Ball: In that case, we're making a triangular prism. Darned copycats.
- Pen: GB, what's a—
- TV: [explaining for Golf Ball] A triangular prism has a three-sided base and rises gradually to a peak.
- Pen: I was going to ask what a cat is, but that's cool, too. Thanks, TV!
- TV: No problem.
- Golf Ball: [Aside.] Ugh, friendship. Like that in which I cannot indulge right now. [Aloud.] Eraser, Pen, you make the bases.
- Eraser: What, so people got to stand on me?
- Golf Ball: You get to be a base because you are strong.
- Eraser: Yeeee-aaaah. [He flexes his regular-arm-width-wide arms.]
- Golf Ball: And Pen, you're on the bottom for obvious reasons.
- Pen: [Aside, to Eraser.] How does she know?
- Golf Ball: The rest of you make the middle, and I'm at the top because I think I am the closest to Barf Bag in everything but appearance!
[Barf Bag walks by.]
- Barf Bag: Don't know if that's an insult or not... but interesting!
With Death P.A.C.T. Again
[The team constantly tries to make a pyramid out of themselves but fails. Black Hole has his limitations, you know.]
- Lightning: Guys! Something's off about what we're doing here.
- Remote: It looks fair to me.
- Marker: And meeeeeee!
- Black Hole: Yeah, it's not that easy to die, in a challenge like this.
- Lightning: But what if the issue is that we're doing this wrong?
- Fanny: I hate being wrong!
- Lightning: Listen, everyone. I've spent my life looking down on the world. Black Hole, back me up here!
- Black Hole: Of course, I agree. And literally, too. Imagine being so high up that all you see is the planet.
- Tree: That's a fascinating way of putting it, sure, but what does that have to do with the challenge?
- Lightning: How about... instead of making a pyramid that goes up, we make a "Barf Bag shape" that goes this way?
[He points at the ground.]
- Black Hole: Oh yeah, that could totally work.
- Fanny: I hate two-dimensional shapes!
[Barf Bag walks by.]
- Barf Bag: [to no one in particular] Don't tell anyone, but I hate 2D shapes as well.
Hotel Lobby
- Fries: Hey, Two, can you come upstairs?
- Two: One at a time! [returns to their phone call] Sorry, Clappy, I can't fix the TVs now. We'll send our—
- Fries: Wait, Clapboard's having telly troubles too?
- Anchor: [to Fries] You seriously say "telly?"
- Two: [over the phone] Please hold. [to Fries] I'm sorry, but running a hotel with 120 rooms and only one staff member is overwhelming enough; what could possibly be more urgent than one television set on fire?
- Fries: Two television sets on fire.
[Enter Snare Drum.]
- sd[char tag?]: Raise it, three!
- Boom Mic: Okay, if TV sets are suddenly catching on fire, then something must be going on.
- Two: [happy] Ah, well, back to phone calls!
- Avocado: Shoosh, I'm out of here!
- Anchor: Ey, me too.
[Exeunt.]
- Two: Oh no, they're leaving! This must be how Coiny feels.
[Enter 9-Ball and Battery.]
- 9-Ball: Hey, Two?
- Battery: Yeah, Two?
- 9-Ball: The shower's all messed up!
- Two: Agh, who cares if it's raining ice?
- Ice Cube: I do!
[Everyone gasps again.]
- 9-Ball: The shower is raining rancid vegetable oil instead of water. Now our dinner's spoiled!
- Battery: Nein!
- Two: First of all, I don't know what the heck you do in your hotel rooms. And second... [pointing to the phone] I'm dealing with other issues here!
[Enter Rubber Spatula.]
- Rubber Spatula: Hi, Two, I need a friend to talk to.
- 9-Ball: Wait, but my issue is worse!
- Discy: Can someone give me an ETA on the record player repair-al?
- Two: [on the phone] What's that, valued guest? Your cabinets are turning into dust as you look at them?
- 9-Ball: You don't get it, Two; the shower issue sucks because now I'm going to smell awful!
[Two puts down the phone.]
- Two: When and who says you smell awful?
- 9-Ball: Nine years ago, the last person I spoke to who had nostrils!
- Two: Well, I have nostrils and I don't think you smell bad.
- Battery: Wait, you have nostrils?
- Blender: Neusgaten?
- Fries: I still want to talk about the burning TVs—
- Kitchen Sink: And the microwave malfunction!
- Battery: Oi, can we not talk about nostrils?
- Two: [angry] You want nostrils? I'll give you all nostrils!
[Just like in episode 6, Two begins to sneeze unknown-bleck cylinders from their nostrils, still where their navel should be. They're blanks; there are no dead people hidden inside. It still makes the wet fart sound. Everyone makes "ah" or "ew" sounds.]
- Fries: Oh no!
- Bomby: Disgusting!
[Half of the people leave the hotel, complaining.]
- 9-Ball: [among the clamour] Forget it, I'm going to smell bad and like it!
- ↑ Sweating.