Mob Buddies

Unfinished story ahead! "Tonight we have to avoid completion of things, like, y'know ..." - Pen Finishing an article? This story is not finished, and due to the creator's schedule, it may need waiting. I suggest to all you readers that you be patient or make a suggestion with this story.

Warning! "Wot'n ale's fozz'r'ye doin'?" - Pencil This page contains profanity, like the sentence above. I have created two ways to censor those words, but I've also discovered that on mobile view, they lie uncensored. So please, show some cognoscience about what you may see. If you do have a problem with profanity, please refer to this page § 3.

Mob Buddies is an episode between the events of BFDI and BFDIA. It takes place on 20 June 2010. In this episode, we get the scene before BFDIA from the other side's perspective (rather than Leafy's perspective) and thus, it is etiological in categorisation. It's also a chance to see my preyterbite writing from three years ago.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

At Estigua's house (Pencil's old house)

• Pencil: [sigh] Good mornin', Kenya. I think I'll be in a calm an' tranquil mood an' totally not yell at anyone today! [sees Pen still sleeping] GET'N TH'ALE UP AN' WATCH THE SUN WITH ME, Y'…

[In the other room, the boys wake up.]

• Sio: There's our alarm clock!
• Javier: More like alarm mother, ha!

[The girls wake up to the sound of a harp.]

• Saye: Ah! What a wonderful morning!
• Citlali: It can't get more peaceful than this.
• Ximena: Hey, check the nice view!
• Zorah: Yeah, 'cause whose mother yells at her husband just to get us up?
• Ximena: That is dedication.

[The kids hear a noise. They get out of the room into the living room.]

• Yaretzi: What's that sound?
• Zorah: If I had ears they'd be bleeding.
• Sio: Maybe it's those people outside! [They see Golf Ball holding a blank sign and Tennis Ball on the bagpipes]
• Saye: Oh my gosh, it's Golf Ball and Tennis Ball from BFDI!
• Zorah: No wonder they're so noisy.
• Saye: Come on, let's wave at them from up here!

[Only the oldest — Saye and Sio — wave at them. They notice them.]

• Golf Ball: It's them.
• Tennis Ball: Who?
• Golf Ball: Pencil and Pen, the first people we need to contact!
• Tennis Ball: Why them?
• Golf Ball: Pencil is surprisingly good at unorthodox technology. Do you remember when she resuscitated the old Announcer Crusher? To add to the preceding statement, her husband was a seven-star Army General at the end of twenty years so he has a huge mechanical and physical advantage.
• Tennis Ball: Great, so your one and true husband has served on a United States Navy ship for a few years in the 1980s and you trust a vitally inexperienced male alpha to lead our organisation.
• Golf Ball: Well—
• Tennis Ball: It's not something worthy to wake up about 300 KiNairobi with this noise, GB.
• Golf Ball: About what are you talking, a tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot. Proverbs 14:30.
• Tennis Ball: Okay. Now we just have to get through the door.

[Meanwhile, upstairs, Estigua wakes up.]

• Estigua: Good morning!
• Kids: Good morning!
• Saye: Bom dia!
• Zorah: How rude! Our giagia's already dead, there's no need to—

[Someone knocks on the door.]

• Estigua: Quem poderia ser?

[She opens the door. TB and GB are at the door.]

• Tennis Ball: Olá!
• Golf Ball: We wish to see the people who live here.
• Estigua: Frederico, Penélope, venha aqui fora, há estranhos na porta!
• Saye: You're GB and TB from BFDI!
• Golf Ball: Did you play with the shrinking machine, Pencil and Pen? You are looking small.
• [ Saye · Sio ]: We get that a lot.
• Saye: We're their children.
• Golf Ball: Those idiots reproduced ten wildebeests? That is what happens when you're popular.

[Pencil and Pen leave their room, the latter with slight eyebags.]

• Pencil: Oi, 'tis GBGB.
• Saye: That's so hilair!
• Pen: W- What do you want?
• Tennis Ball: Why didn't you invite us to your wedding?
• Pencil: We don' like'ee.
• Golf Ball: More importantly, do you want to join us? I regret asking a question, that was a command: Join us.
• Zorah: Oh, hell no!
• Pencil: Fer wot?
• Pen: Yeah, you can't recruit us without a cause!
• Golf Ball: These people are idiots, let us go.

[Pencil nearly lunges at her. Pen restricts her from moving.]

• Pen: No, it's for your own good!
• Pencil: Mus' get thet bossy bot!

Aristotelis's house (Match, Pen and Eraser's old house)

• Golf Ball: This is Match and Eraser's house.
• Tennis Ball: Aren't they siblings?
• Golf Ball: Step-siblings. And they're in love.
• Tennis Ball: Gross.
• Golf Ball: What, do you not remember the story of Adam and Eve? On the—
• Tennis Ball: I know the story! Let's just knock the door.

[She knocks the door with her feet. Kat answers.]

• Katarzyna: Hello!
• Tennis Ball: We need your kids.
• Aristotelis: They're not here; Pen's with Pencil and Eraser and Match are at their house, but they usually arrive—

[Match and Eraser are at the door, with Pencil, Pen and the kids.]

• Pen: Hey, GB's here!
• Match: Don't care.
• Golf Ball: Just being here drops my IQ by at least three hundred points.
• Tennis Ball: You're speaking out loud!
• Golf Ball: I do not care. Attention, people! You are all probably wondering why I gathered you, the popular people who would have bullied me had I been in high school.
• Match: Preach!
• Pencil: We'd totally do thet!
• Pen: … while I innocently bystand and cheer on my mates.
• Golf Ball: But that is not the agenda! Our plan is to capture Leafy and make her pay for the Dream Island that she stole!
• Pencil: Oh yeah! Leafy stole the Dream Island!
• Pen: I guess we were caught up so much on getting married, a new house, having children, trying to catch on in the Army Advancement Programme, y'know things we consider getting on with our lives that we didn't care about getting Leafy!
• Golf Ball: Come on, Leafy is a known criminal! She steals things that belong to others!
• Tennis Ball: And she tries to be nice all the time!
• Golf Ball: Blah blah blah blah blah blah …

[Pencil brings her alliance and kids aside.]

• Pencil: I've got an idea.
• Yaretzi: What is it, mummy?
• Pencil: Why don't we make an alliance, our own alliance agains' both Leafy an' Golf Ball?
• [ Match · Zorah ]: Why?
• Pencil: Well, GB's bein' too bossy.
• Sio: Can't disagree on that.
• Pencil: So if we make an alliance in counter to Golf Ball, then maybe we can get Leafy ourselves!
• Pen: Yeah, and I never really liked Leafy anyway. Whenever Eraser and/or I asked her for assistance during BFDI contests, she was so grouchy during it!
• Saye: Worry not, because I know we can get that thief leaf!
• Sio: By the way, where is Uncle Eraser?
• Pencil: An' where is Match?

[Match is getting Eraser a back rub with her feet.]

Night

• Pencil: [backstage] In three, two, one, nought!

[The lights go on. Pen goes on stage with much applause.]

• Pen: Hi, everyone. First of all, I'd like to thank you for leaving your present posts and coming here for this really important Million Masses gathering. I have invited you all here to join forces together against a common enemy.
• Ruby: Who? Flower?
• Pen: No, she's dead.
• Ruby: Then who?
• Pen: We need to show the morally incorrect Golf Ball that we are able to get rid of Leafy!
• Pin: You mean that ironically evil monster who stole Dream Island?
• Match: Yeah, that Leafy.
• Pin: What I think, is that we start a vengeance alliance! Say "aye" if you're with me!
• Everyone: Aye!
• Pencil: Looks like we've got a spirit demonstrator. I have ne'er been any more proud!
• Ruby: I should demonstrate to my mob buddies the summoning incantation!
• Pen: Woah woah woah, hold on. First we'll need to definitely make our own Dream Island since the other one was stolen.
• Pin: And we need a place to stay. I can't catch up on the action all of the way from Vietnam.
• Ice Cube: Why not the B-Quadna Hotel?
• Geltercube: As manager of the Hotel and father of the one who suggested it, I shall open it to anyone who does not like Leafy!
• Everyone: Yeah!
• Pen: Good night, people. [drops the microphone]

Near Estigua's house

• Pencil: Left! Left! Left! Wait, yer good.
• Ruby: [driving a gigantic truck carrying the walls of Dream Island] This is fine? It's carrying about a centimetre from your house.
• Pen: Before I ask what the hell that giant murder machine is, why is Ruby driving a truck if illegally she can't?
• Pencil: I wouldn' ask thet …

The next day

• Pencil: Wot's this fer?
• Pen: Just because you've been such a wonderful wife to me and the best parent to my children.
• Pencil: Awwwwww! [she opens her gift] A personal recovery centre?
• Pen: Exactly like the one on the set of BFDI.
• Pencil: Oh, yer so nice! [they kiss] 'Ow I wish the kids were 'ere to see this.

[Pencil Jr peers out of the closet.]

• Saye: We are here!
• Pencil: Oh … Saye! Wot brought y' 'ere?
• Saye: We all came!

[The kids appear out of the drawers.]

• Sio: We come here most of the time.
• Citlali: When we're scared!
• Ximena: For some of us, that's like every night.
• Salvador: Don't worry, we didn't miss a thing.
• Pencil: Oh, 'ow wonderful … But kids, we've got our very first personal Schreiber family recovery centre!
• Zorah: Cool! I'll just revive the worst dictators of the last regeneration and—
• Pencil: 'Old on, Ora, we have better priorities to revive—
• Pen: —that does not involve the reincarnation of Goiky's worst.
• Pencil: B-U-B-B-L-E. Bubble!

[She cranks it. Bubble appears. She has been dead since Flower killed her.]

• Bubble: Hoiy guys! What did I miss?
• Pencil: Nobody truly won BFDI.
• Pen: We got married!
• Yaretzi: And therefore we happened!
• Bubble: Wow, mini versions of you guys! But what's with the croiwd of poiple outsoide? Environmental protesters or oingry mob?
• Pencil: The second one. But before y'does anythin', we're a part of'e.
• Bubble: Who killed who?
• Pencil: Leafy.
• Pen: She stole Dream Island and we're out to take her down.
• Bubble: Unfoirtunately, Oi'm not joining you guys; hoite to be disloyal, but I'd rather be in that hoilpless stoite of Afterloife than foight against my friend. [she pops herself]
• Sio: What was that about?
• Javier: I don't know, but I like her style.
• Saye: And I actually got to meet Bubble from BFDI! [squees]

Eventually, Match got a terrible illness, and she had to stay in hospital.

• Match: Omg, will I be, like, okay?
• Test Tube: Oh, I don't know. You have got a bad case of problemaphotismophlogitis!
• Match: And how long exactly will it take to relieve?
• Test Tube: Two and a half months, exactly.
• Match: But I cannot wait that time! I have to catch that criminal who stole Dream Island, and all my friends are, like, going to need me there!

Planning the chase

• Pencil: Okay, so now I shall be h'assignin' jobs. 'O wants to be leader? [everyone does something to make Pencil notice them An' since Pin raised 'er 'and, like, 17 milliseconds before I e'en asked the question, she gets to lead our alliance.
• Ruby: You mean our mob!
• Book: Yes, we are mobsters now!
• All: Yeah!
• Glisteria: Wait, we can not be a mobster group!
• Alphorn: Why not?
• Glisteria: A mobster is a member of a group of violent criminals.
• Blocky: Works for me.
• Eraser: And me!
• Pencil: An' jus' 'ow many violent criminals are 'ere in this audience?
• Pen: Not very much, heh… So how much in this world, people?
• Pencil: Thet's like 1.3% o' the population! An' they, like Leafy, steal.
• Suzette: O, the irony.
• USB: Hey, Thudhette, wanna be bethd buddieth?
• Pencil: Oi, silent back there!
• USB: Thorry, Penthil Threiber!
• Pencil: Anyways, ye 13,000 criminals' job's to steel the original island back from Leafy!
• Blocky: I love stealing! [the rest of the criminals cheer rambunctiously]
• Pencil: An', er, thet Spongy an' the Defence Forces o' Suriname, Tonga an' Iceland mus' jump onto Leafy and/or Firey should they actually come or attack us!
• Coiny: Can I join them too?
• U.S. Dollar: I'm for him joining.
• Needle: Ooh, me too!
• Pencil: Sure.
• Spongy: Ooooooh, iiiin theeee prooooceeeess oooof juuumpiiiing, caaaan weeee geeeet paaaaraaaachuuuutes? Aaaand iiiif theeyy aaaare uuuused, caaaan Iiii uuuuse theeee piiiink oooones?
• Pencil: Well, Pen, wot d'ye says about allowin' parachutes.
• Pen: No, absolutely not. I don't want a death for all of you– we're allies.
• Ruby: That means MOB BUDDIES!
• Spongy: Soooo noooo paaaaraaaachuuuutes?
• Pencil: No, Spongy. An' even if I did let'ee use 'em, I'd never trust'ee.
• Spongy: Whaaaat, neeeeveeeer?
• Pencil: No, never!
• Blocky: Well, I wouldn't care if a three year old sponge got arrested!
• Amyloplast: Shouldn't Leafy just get arrested?
• Canadian Dollar: Technically, Firey should be arrested—
• U.S. Dollar: And Leafy should be lynched! [awkward silence] Too soon?
• Coiny: I feel like I should disagree with this, considering the protagonist of BFDI being someone chased.
• Needle: Coiny, have you been drinking? Leafy is bad.
• Snowball: With a double-storied A.
• Caldera: [singing] This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!
• Chorus: This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine …

Golf Ball's little mob

• Golf Ball: Let me assign jobs.
• Tennis Ball: May I?
• Golf Ball: NO! I am going to lead. Tennis Ball, you are on watch if any enemies show up. And Teardrop, attack them, at once.
• Tennis Ball: Teardrop has just reverted to her six year old form, I really don't think she—
• Golf Ball: Yes! Tennis Ball, your complaints give me rashes not even science can explain.

With Pencil's group

• Pencil: Finally … Match … is missin'.
• Katarzyna: No, she's at the Daniel Arap Moi Hospital– Eraser, you could have worked there if you stayed.
• Eraser: Don't start, mother.

Trivia

• This episode actually was made on 31 January 2013, almost two three years before it was posted on the Wiki. It was also made on a separate file on Pages when Pencil vs Batman was still in construction.
  • Despite this early attempt of modernisation, only a few changes from the original can be seen. They will be in the references area.