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*{{d|p}}: Omg, s- same thing, an' 'ere we are!
*{{d|d}}: Cool.
*{{d|vindström}}: Alright, now we are going to partner up for our first "activity". But partner with someone you don't know! Or else …
[''At once, all of the class partners up, leaving the two high schoolers.'']
*{{d|p}}: So can we be partners?
*{{d|d}}: Well, Vindström [''throwing up in the background''] said that we have to partner with someone we don't know.
*{{d|p}}: Do we really know each other, Pen, do we?
*{{d|d}}: [''sigh''] Let's be partners!
*{{d|vindström}}: What the H is this? Two of the babies of the class partnered up?
*{{d|d}}: Yes.
*{{d|p}}: Aye!
*{{d|vindström}}: And now that all of the class have been partnered up with each other, I would like you to do something … introduce yourself to your partner.
[''They all do that.'']
*{{d|d}}: Hi, I'm{{em}}
*{{d|p}}: I know 'o ye're, m8.
*{{d|vindström}}: Next, you will explain to your partner why you are forced to be in this stupid class.
[''They all do that once again.'']
*{{d|d}}: So why are you here?
*{{d|p}}: Ugh, 't all started with me mum. She got a letter from me councellor sayin' thet I mus' take a foreign language class 'ere, since I'm unable to classify fer any other language on school; I may know all ''living'' language, not Latin.
*{{d|d}}: And I ''definitely'' don't know Latin.
*{{d|p}}: Why ''are'' y' 'ere, Pen?
*{{d|d}}: Y'know how I got blacklisted from, say, 99.9% of our school language programmes for cheating?
*{{d|p}}: Aye, why?
*{{d|d}}: Kat tells me I must go here instead, since it's not connected to the high school for credit.
*{{d|p}}: Omg, thet sucks.
[''The malevolent teacher comes by and hears them talking.'']
*{{d|vindström}}: What's this? Reasonable discussion? You're banned from existing here! Get out of this classroom so I can call the dean to permanently remove you from this building.
*{{d|d}}: You can't do that!
*{{d|p}}: Me middle-class mother actually ''paid'' fer somethin' related to me education!
*{{d|vindström}}: Fine, you may stay here. But stay with the schedule.
[''Exit'' '''Vindström'''.]
*{{d|p}}: Wow, this professor's really makin' our lives like a livin' 'ell 'ole.
*{{d|d}}: Oh, whatever. I mean, it's not like we'll be here forever!
{{Scene|Monday|They are still in school.}}
*{{d|p}}: I can't believe we're in 'ere on a Monday!
*{{d|d}}: What kind of nonsense is this? I asked to be tortured ''lightly''.
*{{d|vindström}}: Surprise, M.
*{{d|p}}: M?
*{{d|d}}: That movie from the 1930s?
*{{d|vindström}}: No, dumbus. I'm not allowed to say the "mother*******" word, so I'm just initialling it. '''''OK?'''''
*{{d|d}}: I don't have a mother …
*{{d|p}}: Alright, we've got to get out of 'ere!
*{{d|d}}: How?
*{{d|p}}: I don' know, but I really don' feel comfortable bein' in school.
*{{d|d}}: Why, because it's summer?
*{{d|p}}: No, it's the weekend!
*{{d|d}}: True. I probably missed another BUATA baseball game.
*{{d|p}}: Will'ee stop with the BUATA baseball? Beatin' people usually's ''not'' very attractive!
*{{d|d}}: Why do you care if what I do is attr{{em}} Oh ship.
*{{d|p}}: Let's pretend like this conversation ne'er 'appened.
*{{d|d}}: Good point. [''awkward silence''] Y'know, BUATA baseball isn't about beating people up … like, 75% of the time, we're just so good at that game that nobody loses and we just beat each others' bats. I swear, it's one of a heck of a misleading name, eh?
*{{d|p}}: Sure. But I still feel guilty o' missin' all the parties. Wot'm I goin' to tell the cool kids? "Oh, we were at school?" Add thet with bein' a weekend an' in summer, an' we'll get kicked out o' thet party faster than Irish dancers standin' behind golf balls.
*{{d|d}}: Golf balls?
*{{d|p}}: Not really the main point 'ere.
{{Scene|Match's house|Match is sitting down on the couch, when Katarzyna arrives with the mail.}}
*{{d|m}}: Mail. On Sunday? I thought a Christian country like Kenya didn't do that!
*{{d|kat}}: Actually, this is important.
*{{d|m}}: Oh pish, what could be more important than{{em}} [''she opens the letter''] "Recommended school supplies"? That's ''so'', like, lame!
*{{d|kat}}: Come, let's just go shopping for the school supplies, when they're on sale.
*{{d|m}}: Shopping? I can deal with that! Come on, Eraser, you're going shopping with me!
*{{d|e}}: Like, at an actual store?
*{{d|m}}: It sounds amazing, like, it's better than, like 120% of those nerd novels.
*{{d|kat}}: My series of non-fictional books?
*{{d|m}}: Potato, maize.
{{Scene|Generic School Supplies Store}}
*{{d|m}}: Omg, this is where all the nerds and geeks go!
*{{d|kat}}: Matchke, they happen to be two different types of subsets of people.
*{{d|m}}: Yeah, not my type. [''Eraser rolls his eyes'']
[''They enter the store.'']
*{{d|test tube}}: Welcome to GSS, where you can find the world's best school supplies! Non-sentient, of course.
[''Match goes up to a display of pencils on sale.'']
*{{d|m}}: Oh, Pencil, if you were here …
*{{d|e}}: Cool, a pen display!
*{{d|kat}}: Don't touch it!
*{{d|e}}: Heh, look! [''he grabs a blue pen and a pencil from the display''] "Oh Pencil, I love you." "I love you too!" Match, that's a British accent.
*{{d|m}}: What is this?
*{{d|e}}: It's ''me'', shipping Pencil and Pen!
*{{d|m}}: Wait. You think they'd be, like, a good couple?
*{{d|e}}: Uh{{em}}
*{{d|m}}: Just yesterday, when we were watching one of Mum's soap operas, you shipped Spinning Wheel and Loom. Then it was revealed that they're really step siblings.
*{{d|e}}: So?
*{{d|m}}: You still continued to ship them! I mean, like, you can't ship two people who will ''never'' end up together.
*{{d|e}}: You don't think Pencil and Pen will end up together?
*{{d|m}}: Absolutely not. Eraser, what kind of drugs have you been taking, because … wait, never mind. [''sigh''] The moment you realise that the jokes you make actually do make, like, sense.
*{{d|kat}}: I've got it!
*{{d|m}}: What?
*{{d|kat}}: I've been on a mission … it's like a race of all the mothers who want to buy some school supplies at the last minute!
*{{d|m}}: The letter came in the mail, like, this morning!
*{{d|kat}}: Anyways, I have what you need. A bubble blower, thirteen books about feminism, a keyboard that makes cat sounds, a Farsi-English dictionary, and a blue stapler.
*{{d|e}}: Why'd you buy a blue one?
*{{d|kat}}: They were ''really'' specific. Said that if anyone bought a green stapler they and all of their descendents would be expelled from education forever.
*{{d|m}}: Weird.
*{{d|e}}: Do you need anything else, like food, water, clothing, air, shelter and women's accessories?
*{{d|kat}}: Um … actually, there's still something on my list.
*{{d|e}}: Women's{{em}}
*{{d|kat}}: No! Match, do you know where you can buy a quote book?
*{{d|m}}: A q- quote book?
*{{d|e}}: Yeah, you know … a book full of quotes?
*{{d|kat}}: Eraser may be right … it says that any student planning on taking art in the 2006{{en}}2007 school year must bring their quote book from the last year.
*{{d|m}}: If I want to take art?
*{{d|kat}}: Yeah, art.
*{{d|m}}: What art? There is no art, art is a sociological concept and, like, totally not visible what-so-ever.
*{{d|top hat}}: [''upon hearing her''] A philosophess in the artistry aisle. How curious!
[''He walks away. Match, Eraser and Kat exchange glances.'']
*{{d|m}}: Mum, I have a bad feeling that we should go home.
*{{d|kat}}: Without paying? I don't work that way, and you know it!
*{{d|e}}: But I can! Come on, Match.
[''Kat rolls her eyes and pays for all the stuff.'']
*{{d|textbook}}: Thank you for shopping, have a so-so, stressful day!
[''She finds a payphone in the middle of the car park. She calls up Match's phone.'']
*{{d|kat}}: Match, this is your mother.
*{{d|m}}: We're running home!
*{{d|kat}}: Oh my G-d, please tell me Eraser didn't steal any women's accessories.
*{{d|m}}: Nope, even dumber. He stole the ''sign'' that said "women's accessories".
*{{d|e}}: Hyuk hyuk hyuk!
*{{d|kat}}: That is dumb.
[''Eventually, Match and Eraser reach their house. They knock frantically, and Pen answers the door.'']
*{{d|d}}: Hi!
*{{d|m}}: Is Ari here?
*{{d|d}}: Yeah, he's inspecting your room{{em}}
*{{d|m}}: My room? [''she pushes him out of the way''] Move!
*{{d|e}}: Girls these days … now move!
{{Scene|Match's room|Aristotelis is inspecting the room well.}}
*{{d|ari}}: Books stacked according to height? Perfect … ''The Hunchhead of Alabaster Andrews'', ''The Catcher in the Pumpernickel'', ''A Book of Quotes by Match Zapalka'' … this must be a new release! Let's see what's inside. [''He begins to take out the book'']
*{{d|m}}: Wait! [''she runs into her room'']
*{{d|ari}}: Match! You should never interrupt an adult when inspecting his stepdaughter's room … and that sounded really bad; I'll try to rephrase that into words even Blocky can understand. Leave this room alone, please!
*{{d|m}}: You can't! Like, you have a really important call!
*{{d|ari}}: Huh?
*{{d|m}}: You know Tonka [''looks around the room''] Biogusettes?
*{{d|ari}}: Yeah, he was once of my worse inferiors!
*{{d|m}}: Really? I mean, really! Anyways, you know that he used to work for you … until today. He's mad at you because apparently you fired him, and he's planning revenge.
*{{d|ari}}: Omg, I need to block his number!
[''He sprints to his room. Match gets the book.'']
*{{d|m}}: And the book is mine! Woo!
[''She runs to the garbage can in the kitchen, her mother unnoticing.'']
*{{d|kat}}: Match, what are you doing?
*{{d|m}}: There was, like, this dirty thing in my room and I've decided to throw it out!
[''She panics and throws all of the plates into the can. Kat looks up.'']
*{{d|kat}}: Good thing we didn't need to use them until Passover, eh, Match?
*{{d|m}}: Right, heh …
{{Notes}}
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