"Le Voyage dans la Poubelle" is the second part of the twenty-eighth episode of Pencil 2.O, having aired on 26 August 2016 in the second season. In this episode, Match accidentally throws out something that will be important to the plot. Meanwhile, Pencil and Pen attend a night college.
- Match: Omg, Penc-penc, you should have seen what they've done to our posters.
- Pencil: [on the other side] Wot's'e?
- Match: So you know those new Grade 8 history books your sister got— [Eraser runs by]
- Eraser: Micka macka wooka …
- Match: —after, like, textbook registration?
- Pencil: I'm readin'e right now.
- Match: Omg, you're so like a nerd.
- Pencil: Wot?
- Match: Nothing. [Eraser runs by]
- Eraser: Hurgen splurgen urgen …
- Match: Anyways, like, did you see page 329?
- Pencil: Not yet, why?
[She goes to the page.]
- Pencil: Omg!
- Match: Right? Like, read the caption.
- Pencil: "When anti-environmentalists gone wrong. Wot y'mus' know's thet it's very importan' to follow all rules an' listen to other …"
[Eraser runs in the background.]
- Eraser: Salaca-doola-menchika—
- Match: Will you stop that?
- Pencil: Why?
- Match: Not you, Penc-penc … sorry, I've got to go yell at a freak. Talk you later!
[They hang up on each other.]
- Match: Eraser, I'm trying to talk on the phone with Pencil! Don't you have, like, anything better to do than sing show tunes from fifty years ago?
- Eraser: Not really. And Match, stop being a pain in the asש, literally.
- Match: I'm just mad that summer's almost ending.
- Eraser: Oh, don't worry. It'll just be for today.
- Match: What are you even doing?
- Eraser: Ho ho, ever since Pen … you know … every year I've found a large ball of dirt that looks sturdy but dis-segregates once even a feather touches it, and planted it in his side of the room, y'know, just to prove how much of a man he really is.
- Match: That's so dumb!
- Eraser: It gets smarterer. I'll tell him that he should whack it with this gavel Blocky and I stole from the Kenyan Supreme Court …
- Match: You're so dumb!
- Eraser: —and when he hits the ball of dirt, heh, it will sploosh all over his side of the room, making my side appear to be less dirty, which, really, I don't care about because I live in my own filth.
- Match: Thank you, Eraser, for giving me a reason why we shouldn't go further in our relationship.
- Eraser: Hey, I'm always open for other girls!
- Match: M-nyeh!
- Eraser: Nyeh!
[Enter Aristotelis from the other room.]
- Aristotelis: Alright, people, I think we should have a family meeting. But first, where's Pen?
- Eraser: He's gone and played BUATA baseball.
- Aristotelis: BUATA baseball?
- Match: It's this new shiת he's doing, like, "Beat-Up-And-Then-Apologise" baseball.
- Aristotelis: And where's your mother?
- Match: She's buying Buddha statues at the mall.
- Aristotelis: My wife is beating up and apologising to statues? I knew I married a thimonhi.
- Eraser: She meant Buddha statues. Y'know, like the Buddha?
- Aristotelis: I hope that's kosher. , I think having only 60% of the people here at the family meeting is good enough for me.
- Eraser: So what's the meeting for, dad?
- Aristotelis: You know the new American family that we've met, right?
- Match: The Boozemans?
- Aristotelis: No, the Bozemans.
- Eraser: Tomayto, tomarto.
- Aristotelis: That's like saying Austria and Australia! Oykh, they're coming over to this house next week.
- Match: Why, it's not like it's a particular holiday.
- Aristotelis: They are our new friends and they are coming over. Now,</math> I understand that you, my only children, offspring of a different universe, bespringten of a …
- Eraser: WE GET IT!
- Aristotelis: [sigh] You all like living in dirt. And by you all, I mean Eraser—
- Eraser: Dad, it's a rite of passage for people who've been men for so short of a time … that happens every year.
- Aristotelis: And that's what we have to do. So from today to next Friday, you will make your rooms as clean as possible.
- Match: But my room is—
- Aristotelis: Dirty as hell? By Friday, I want all of your rooms to be so spotless, with everything that's not supposed to be in its place in its place, d'ya hear? Mum and I will be running inspections of the room just before the
- Eraser: [sigh] Yes, fath— Wait. Are these all Kat's words?
- Aristotelis: Yes.
[Exeunt Aristotelis and Eraser.]
- Match: [thinking of Ari's words] "Everything that's not in its place in its place. Everything that's not in its place in its place …"
[Her eyes widen, leading to the theme song.]
By the Norwegian University of Nairobi
- Pencil: Mum, 'ave I got to go to this night college thing?
- Estigua: Yes. Your counsellor called me personally and requested that you be taking a foreign language to count for credit. Otherwise you can not go to college, which means you can't get a high-paying job which means you can't make money, which means you can not supply me with goods for my future!
- Pencil: Mum, I know e'ery language in the world. Why'n Earth must I take another class fer'e?
- Needle: Nuh-uh! You don't speak Latin.
- Pencil: Well, Latin's dead.
- Nelson: Latin can never die,
- Estigua: And we're here.
[Pencil gets kicked out of the car.]
- Pencil: Wait, don' leave me 'ere!
[The car drives away.]
- Pencil: Nice.
Fifteen minutes later
- Vindström: Salve.
- Pencil: 'Ello.
- Vindström: NO! Absolutely not shall you bellow at me! When you enter a room, I expect a salve from each other, do you hear this miss … F!
- Pencil: Yer a-givin' me a h'F on the firs' day!?
- Vindström: No, I am saying the F-word to myself because professors aren't allowed to scream expletives in anger!
- Pencil: An' apparently thet's the only rule 'ere.
- Vindström: Now that we've got this rude nuisance out of the way, let me introduce myself. My name is Cordelia Africa Vindström, but you can call me Africa.
- Pencil: 'Sthet mean we can call'ee Vindström?
- Vindström: Not in the name of everything you and your darned mind thinks of! If you dare call me Vindström, the name into which I was forced to live out 99.9 years, I will severely punish you by stripping off your recovery licence and forcing you to 99.9 years of eternal torture! I hate the name Vindström, as it represents my ancestors' suffering from millions of decades of colonial rule by the stinky, hog-brained lunatics known as the people of—
- Unknown Voice: Excuse me, but you aren't a very good example of a college professor of Latin. At least the ancient Romans were tolerant of all people no matter what their race or nationality was.
- Vindström: What kind of nonentity are you? No apologies, but I tend not to give a hoot about the people whose tuition goes to me.
- Unknown Voice: Some may call me a drifter.
- Vindström: Take off your disguise.
- Unknown Voice: Some may call me a greaser.
- Vindström: Take off your disguise, NOW!
- Unknown Voice: But I'm just an athlete …
- Vindström: If you don't reveal your identity, I will immediately alert the authorities.
- Unknown Voice: … who plays BUATA-baseball!
[The voice reveals itself—it's Pen.]
- Pencil: Pen?
- Pen: Better than ever!
- Pencil: Wot's'e doin' 'ere?
- Pen: My mother told me that if I did a language this year I could go to college.
- Pencil: Omg, s- same thing, an' 'ere we are!
- Pen: Cool.
- Vindström: Alright, now we are going to partner up for our first "activity". But partner with someone you don't know! Or else …
[At once, all of the class partners up, leaving the two high schoolers.]
- Pencil: So can we be partners?
- Pen: Well, Vindström [throwing up in the background] said that we have to partner with someone we don't know.
- Pencil: Do we really know each other, Pen, do we?
- Pen: [sigh] Let's be partners!
- Vindström: What the H is this? Two of the babies of the class partnered up?
- Pen: Yes.
- Pencil: Aye!
- Vindström: And now that all of the class have been partnered up with each other, I would like you to do something … introduce yourself to your partner.
[They all do that.]
- Pen: Hi, I'm—
- Pencil: I know 'o ye're, m8.
- Vindström: Next, you will explain to your partner why you are forced to be in this stupid class.
[They all do that once again.]
- Pen: So why are you here?
- Pencil: Ugh, 't all started with me mum. She got a letter from me councellor sayin' thet I mus' take a foreign language class 'ere, since I'm unable to classify fer any other language on school; I may know all living language, not Latin.
- Pen: And I definitely don't know Latin.
- Pencil: Why are y' 'ere, Pen?
- Pen: Y'know how I got blacklisted from, say, 99.9% of our school language programmes for cheating?
- Pencil: Aye, why?
- Pen: Kat tells me I must go here instead, since it's not connected to the high school for credit.
- Pencil: Omg, thet sucks.
[The malevolent teacher comes by and hears them talking.]
- Vindström: What's this? Reasonable discussion? You're banned from existing here! Get out of this classroom so I can call the dean to permanently remove you from this building.
- Pen: You can't do that!
- Pencil: Me middle-class mother actually paid fer somethin' related to me education!
- Vindström: Fine, you may stay here. But stay with the schedule.
- Pencil: Wow, this professor's really makin' our lives like a livin' 'ell 'ole.
- Pen: Oh, whatever. I mean, it's not like we'll be here forever!
- Pencil: I can't believe we're in 'ere on a Monday!
- Pen: What kind of nonsense is this? I asked to be tortured lightly.
- Vindström: Surprise, M.
- Pencil: M?
- Pen: That movie from the 1930s?
- Vindström: No, dumbus. I'm not allowed to say the "mother*******" word, so I'm just initialling it. OK?
- Pen: I don't have a mother …
- Pencil: Alright, we've got to get out of 'ere!
- Pen: How?
- Pencil: I don' know, but I really don' feel comfortable bein' in school.
- Pen: Why, because it's summer?
- Pencil: No, it's the weekend!
- Pen: True. I probably missed another BUATA baseball game.
- Pencil: Will'ee stop with the BUATA baseball? Beatin' people usually's not very attractive!
- Pen: Why do you care if what I do is attr— Oh ship.
- Pencil: Let's pretend like this conversation ne'er 'appened.
- Pen: Good point. [awkward silence] Y'know, BUATA baseball isn't about beating people up … like, 75% of the time, we're just so good at that game that nobody loses and we just beat each others' bats. I swear, it's one of a heck of a misleading name, eh?
- Pencil: Sure. But I still feel guilty o' missin' all the parties. Wot'm I goin' to tell the cool kids? "Oh, we were at school?" Add thet with bein' a weekend an' in summer, an' we'll get kicked out o' thet party faster than Irish dancers standin' behind golf balls.
- Pen: Golf balls?
- Pencil: Not really the main point 'ere.
- Match: Mail. On Sunday? I thought a Christian country like Kenya didn't do that!
- Katarzyna: Actually, this is important.
- Match: Oh pish, what could be more important than— [she opens the letter] "Recommended school supplies"? That's so, like, lame!
- Katarzyna: Come, let's just go shopping for the school supplies, when they're on sale.
- Match: Shopping? I can deal with that! Come on, Eraser, you're going shopping with me!
- Eraser: Like, at an actual store?
- Match: It sounds amazing, like, it's better than, like 120% of those nerd novels.
- Katarzyna: My series of non-fictional books?
- Match: Potato, maize.
Generic School Supplies Store
- Match: Omg, this is where all the nerds and geeks go!
- Katarzyna: Matchke, they happen to be two different types of subsets of people.
- Match: Yeah, not my type. [Eraser rolls his eyes]
[They enter the store.]
- Test Tube: Welcome to GSS, where you can find the world's best school supplies! Non-sentient, of course.
[Match goes up to a display of pencils on sale.]
- Match: Oh, Pencil, if you were here …
- Eraser: Cool, a pen display!
- Katarzyna: Don't touch it!
- Eraser: Heh, look! [he grabs a blue pen and a pencil from the display] "Oh Pencil, I love you." "I love you too!" Match, that's a British accent.
- Match: What is this?
- Eraser: It's me, shipping Pencil and Pen!
- Match: Wait. You think they'd be, like, a good couple?
- Eraser: Uh—
- Match: Just yesterday, when we were watching one of Mum's soap operas, you shipped Spinning Wheel and Loom. Then it was revealed that they're really step siblings.
- Eraser: So?
- Match: You still continued to ship them! I mean, like, you can't ship two people who will never end up together.
- Eraser: You don't think Pencil and Pen will end up together?
- Match: Absolutely not. Eraser, what kind of drugs have you been taking, because … wait, never mind. [sigh] The moment you realise that the jokes you make actually do make, like, sense.
- Katarzyna: I've got it!
- Match: What?
- Katarzyna: I've been on a mission … it's like a race of all the mothers who want to buy some school supplies at the last minute!
- Match: The letter came in the mail, like, this morning!
- Katarzyna: Anyways, I have what you need. A bubble blower, thirteen books about feminism, a keyboard that makes cat sounds, a Farsi-English dictionary, and a blue stapler.
- Eraser: Why'd you buy a blue one?
- Katarzyna: They were really specific. Said that if anyone bought a green stapler they and all of their descendents would be expelled from education forever.
- Match: Weird.
- Eraser: Do you need anything else, like food, water, clothing, air, shelter and women's accessories?
- Katarzyna: Um … actually, there's still something on my list.
- Eraser: Women's—
- Katarzyna: No! Match, do you know where you can buy a quote book?
- Match: A q- quote book?
- Eraser: Yeah, you know … a book full of quotes?
- Katarzyna: Eraser may be right … it says that any student planning on taking art in the 2006–2007 school year must bring their quote book from the last year.
- Match: If I want to take art?
- Katarzyna: Yeah, art.
- Match: What art? There is no art, art is a sociological concept and, like, totally not visible what-so-ever.
- Top Hat: [upon hearing her] A philosophess in the artistry aisle. How curious!
[He walks away. Match, Eraser and Kat exchange glances.]
- Match: Mum, I have a bad feeling that we should go home.
- Katarzyna: Without paying? I don't work that way, and you know it!
- Eraser: But I can! Come on, Match.
[Kat rolls her eyes and pays for all the stuff.]
- Textbook: Thank you for shopping, have a so-so, stressful day!
[She finds a payphone in the middle of the car park. She calls up Match's phone.]
- Katarzyna: Match, this is your mother.
- Match: We're running home!
- Katarzyna: Oh my G-d, please tell me Eraser didn't steal any women's accessories.
- Match: Nope, even dumber. He stole the sign that said "women's accessories".
- Eraser: Hyuk hyuk hyuk!
- Katarzyna: That is dumb.
[Eventually, Match and Eraser reach their house. They knock frantically, and Kat answers the door.]
- Katarzyna: Hi!
- Match: Is Ari here?
- Pen: Yeah, he's inspecting your room—
- Katarzyna: My room? [she pushes him out of the way] Please move!
- Eraser: Girls these days … now move!
- Aristotelis: Books stacked according to height? Perfect … The Hunchhead of Alabaster Andrews, The Catcher in the Pumpernickel, A Book of Quotes by Match Zapalka … this must be a new release! Let's see what's inside. [He begins to take out the book]
- Match: Wait! [she runs into her room]
- Aristotelis: Match! You should never interrupt an adult when inspecting his stepdaughter's room … and that sounded really bad; I'll try to rephrase that into words even Blocky can understand. Leave this room alone, please!
- Match: You can't! Like, you have a really important call!
- Aristotelis: Huh?
- Match: You know Tonka [looks around the room] Biogusettes?
- Aristotelis: Yeah, he was once of my worse inferiors!
- Match: Really? I mean, really! Anyways, you know that he used to work for you … until today. He's mad at you because apparently you fired him, and he's planning revenge.
- Aristotelis: Omg, I need to block his number!
[He sprints to his room. Match gets the book.]
- Match: And the book is mine! Woo!
[She runs to the garbage can in the kitchen, her mother unnoticing.]
- Katarzyna: Match, what are you doing?
- Match: There was, like, this dirty thing in my room and I've decided to throw it out!
[She panics and throws all of the plates into the can. Kat looks up.]
- Katarzyna: Good thing we didn't need to use them until Passover, eh, Match?
- Match: Right, heh …
At the college
- Pencil: Why mus' we do this?
- Vindström: You must translate the Odyssey in its entirety so you can leave this place. This is your exit slip, use it wisely.
- Pen: And what happens if we don't finish it?
- Vindström: If you don't finish it, you will be stuck here forever. [leaving]
- Pencil: Why're'ee so mean to us?
- Vindström: Bye!
- Pencil: This sucks.
- Pen: No, it doesn't!
- Pencil: 'Ow can'ee says thet?
- Pen: It's pretty obvious that the Odyssey wasn't originally written in Latin. It's Greek, just like me!
- Pencil: Ok, thet 'elps a bit, innit? I mean, 'tain't thet easy; don' we've got to memorise it as well?
- Pen: Pencil, it's 2006! Computers are a vital part of our lives; all we have to do is look up the Odyssey in Greek and translate it!
- Pencil: Thet's brilliant! Quick, now 'and me a computer.
- Pen: No way! I still have something important to do!
- Pencil: [seeing] "Wot's yer human name? Choose the perfect moniker fer yer own interdimensional travels"– Pen, wot'n'ale's this?
- Pen: Choose the perfect moniker for your own interdimensional—
- Pencil: Aye, I know wot thet is, Needle 'ad me do'e las' Wednesday.
- Pen: Oh my gosh, who'd you get?
- Pencil: My name was Stacey!
- Pen: Mine appears to be ……… Chad.
[Pencil and Pen look at each other for a bit, and then back to what they were doing before. A few minutes later, and they are done.]
- Pencil: Pen, I'm goin' to "Wind Storm" an' tell 'er we've done.
- Pen: Okay!
[She goes out into the hall.]
- Pencil: Oi, Africa?
- Vindström: What? Can't you see I'm busy?
- Pencil: Doin' wot?
- Vindström: Viewing the picture machine.
- Pencil: [seeing that she's watching a black screen] There's nothin' on.
- Vindström: Shut up, that's my favourite channel. [she presses a button on the television, turning it on] God D it, it's broken!
- Pencil: Jus' come with me!
[They go to the room of no return.]
- Pen: Hey, you're back … and you brought that.
- Vindström: Please, I don't need any of that sass. Now, let me see the proof that you did the translations as I instructed.
[She reads the text translated into English.]
- Vindström: Ooooooh, you made a mistake!
- Pencil: We did?
- Vindström: You sure as F did!
- Pen: We did not; it's been translated perfectly, due to the I—
- Pencil: —pocriticality o' the situation, ain' thet right, Pen?
- Pen: Of c—
- Vindström: THIS is what you did wrong. Instead of writing a comma like you should have, you drew the number 2. And you drew it very hideously. Hmm, how about I make you write the entire thing again!
- Pencil: Thet's no excuse to punish us!
- Vindström: And with those inappropriate comments you will also reduplicate the Bhagavad Gita in its original language and English.
- Pencil: The Bhagavad Ghita? We don' do Sanskrit in Latin class, m8.
- Pen: Hey, they're both Indo-European languages.
- Pencil: Pen …
Outside Match's house
- Katarzyna: Match, there's been another change to the supply list for school. Would you care if I sit down and read it?
- Match: No, mum—
- Katarzyna: Whatever, I'm doing it anyways.
- Match: Go ahead. [reading] "It has been amended by the official list of necessary school supplies that the list include the mandatory quote booklet, in other words, the portation of your quote book may or may not be necessary for entrance into this school."
- Katarzyna: That's right.
- Match: But, like, what if I don't have it? [Kat gestures her to read on]
- Katarzyna: You will be expelled and forced to do twelve labours of Hercules.
- Match: That's not fair! Neither Pencil, Pen nor Eraser have to do that!
- Katarzyna: It's only because they're not taking art, Matchke.
- Match: This sucks matzah! Pencil and Pen are living a perfect life and I'm so down in the dumps people are asking me out as jokes!
- Pencil: This is terrible.
- Pen: Speak for yourself, I can't speak Hindu!
- Pencil: No wonder, it's called Hindi.
- Pen: My middle name starts with D …
[Enter Pine Tree.]
- Pine Tree: There are people in here, right?
- Pencil: Well, we are in 'ere.
- Pen: Who are you?
- Pine Tree: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Pine Tree Koen, and I'm actually the caretaker of the Norwegian University.
- Pen: That's so cool, where is it?
- Pencil: Yer standin' in'e. Gosh, ain't 'ee going ter ask where Earth is?
- Pine Tree: [laughs] Well, I can see you haven't been too busy with your surroundings. Say, what have you been doing?
- Pencil: We've been forced to write the Maharashtra.
- Pen: She means the Bhagavad Gita.
- Pine Tree: Is this a mutual dare or something? Because I know couples back in my country do that—
- Pencil: We're not a couple!
- Pen: Yet.
- Pencil: Wot?
- Pen: I said "het"! Y'know, because our genders are different?
- Pencil: Aye, we differ! [to Pine Tree] Anyways, we've both signed onto the same college class, an' our teacher, 'ose really mean—
[The door on the other side bursts open. It's Vindström.]
- Vindström: Ooh ……… intruder ………
[She retires to her lair.]
- Pine Tree: Oh! You never told me you had Vindström!
- Pencil: Wot d'ye know of 'er?
- Pine Tree: She is extremely mean. Like, if you took all of the mean teachers you had in your childhood, combined all of them with the mean teachers everyone else had in their childhoods, you would—
[Enter Vindström again, this time carrying a baseball bat.]
- Vindström: DON'T MAKE ME USE WHAT I'M CARRYING RIGHT THIS SECOND, YOU LITTLE SON OF A B!
- Pine Tree: I'm sorry, ma'am, what have I done!
- Vindström: You were intruding on these two students trying to write down the Upanishads!
- Pen: Y'means the Bhagavad Gita?
- Vindström: You'll have to write that too!
- Pen: No!
- Vindström: Do you wish to write the entire New Testament as well?
- Pen: I'm Jewish, and no!
- Pencil: Aye, we'll not keep on a-doin' all o' yer torturous tricks o' writing an' memorisation!
- Vindström: I can't believe this … subordinate mutiny! I ought to expel my external organs and place them on your walls!
- Pencil: Y' little son of a—
[Pen signals to Pencil that he wants to say something. She quiets herself.]
- Pen: Mrs. Africa, what's the whole purpose of college?
- Vindström: To listen to whiny f-ers like you make gibberish noises while I get paid.
- Pen: No, it's a place of learning. All of us are here because we wish to learn. Or we need to fill in a class for high school. And they also say that during our adolescent years, what teachers make of their jobs makes or breaks the experience. Right now, we're broken by you.
- Pencil: Aye, if Mao Zedong an' 'ee could 'ost a contes' seein' 'o can kill more people, you'd win by ferever.
- Vindström: [moved to tears, almost] That … that was … that was … [becoming angry] … probably one of the least influential wastes of time I've heard in my life. I am incensed, outraged and so mad that you could say that B.S. about me! A breaker? That's akin to insult! You must now copy all of the journals by Albert Einstein in its original German, translate it into Xhosa, Irish and Esperanto. And aside from insulting me, I will also call the dean of this university so they can expel you and I can never see your S-y little faces again.
[Pen, Pencil and Pine Tree look at each other, concerned.]
- Vindström: Now, who knows the number of the dean?
- Pen: I've got it memorised!
- Pencil: Pen, don't'ee dare.
- Pine Tree: Your life depends on—
- Pen: 555-867-5309.
- Vindström: Perfect.
- Pencil: I can't believe 'eed do somethin' like thet!
- Vindström: 8…6…7…5…3…0…
[At once, sparks fly and a baby takes the place of Vindström.]
- Pencil: Omg!
- Pen: What the?
- Pine Tree: What just happened … well, Vindström was already 99.9 years old, and her hundredth birthday was fast approaching.
- Pencil: Wot?
- Pine Tree: Didn't you see the "Goodbye 1906" poster in her evil lair?
- Pencil: Aye, an' I think she told us'e once.
- Pen: Who cares anymore, we're free!
- Pencil: Freedom!
[They sprint out of the room.]
- Pine Tree: Can I follow you guys too?
- Pencil: I can't see why not; 'tis a free world!
- Pen: Woo!
- Eraser: Woap, Daddy's home!
- Match: Ok, Match, you can do this. Don't think about the dirty, hideous, mouldy rubbish you can see here. [breathes in deeply] I am Match Zapałka and I am hurling myself into trash! Omg, can't believe I said that.
- Coiny: Halt!
- Match: Coiny? What are you doing here?
- Coiny: Guarding this dump in place of my father, who is going hunting this night. Y'see, many people here throw away valuable items, like antique Japanese plates, pictures of hated ones and boxes full of fresh food.
- Eraser: So, you're taking it all for yourself?
- Coiny: No! And you can't come into this area without a good reason!
- Match: We're looking for something.
- Coiny: Is this "something" illegal?
- Match: Most certainly, like, not!
- Eraser: Well …
[Match elbows him hard.]
- Eraser: Ow!
- Coiny: Very well, you're free to go.
- Match: Yeah!
- Eraser: Woot!
- Match: Now all we have to do is look for that quote book and we can get out of this poor people land!
- Eraser: You say it, sis.
- Match: Good thing I brought protective gloves! [She puts them on and starts digging.]
- Eraser: You're going to need a lot more time.
- Match: Please. Let me do it!
A few hours later
- Match: Omg, I think I found it!
- Eraser: You found the quote book?
- Match: [seeing] No, it's just a book of old cooking recipes. I'd give it to my mother, but, like, it's been here.
- Eraser: Match, you're so dirty when it comes to … um … personalness, but you're such a prude right here. Seriously, how hard is it to not appreciate this paradise? Y'know, Match, I would move out of home and live here if I could.
- Match: Gross.
- Eraser: Well, it looks like you've searched through all the clean stuff, so let's go through that really dirty pile of trash.
- Match: No way! And besides, I won't find the book here.
- Eraser: You'll be expelled.
- Match: I'll be homeschooled, just by not doing that.
- Eraser: And you won't be popular.
- Match: Quick, give me that shovel!
[Eraser takes the shovel and they, in fast motion, search for the book. Finally, under all of that, is the quote book.]
- Match: Omg, I finally found it! [holds it up] It's my book and now I can smuggle it to—
- Aristotelis: Match!
- Eraser: Uh-oh, someone's in trouble.
- Match: Watch it …
- Aristotelis: Match, thank G-d I found you here!
- Match: Wow, Ari's here! What a, like, totally total coincidence!
- Aristotelis: Why are you here?
- Match: Why are you here? See? I'm being respectful to my elders by begging him the question first!
- Aristotelis: So you know what happened at work today?
- Eraser: No.
- Match: I don't care.
- Aristotelis: Well, I was at the washroom, where I wore my wedding ring just for a presentation.
- Eraser: Why do you need a ring for your presentation?
- Aristotelis: Not only do they expect that one dress formally, but there were those office ladies there, and they … they wanted the A.
- Match: Omg …
- Eraser: I see you, dad, I see you.
- Aristotelis: So I was in the stall, silently prepping, when at once my ring from when my Dia and I fell into the toilet. I was devastated, but this plumber told me, "Sir, your ring will end up in the dump". So therefore, here I am!
- Eraser: Wait. Don't things from the toilet end up, say, in the ocean?
- Aristotelis: This isn't Canada, boy, things work differently here.
- Match: Then why were you so, like, calm and collected about this?
- Eraser: It's his personality trait, bimbo.
- Match: Well!
- Aristotelis: So Match, why are you here?
- Match: You know that quote book I needed for school?
- Aristotelis: Yeah.
- Match: I have it here.
- Aristotelis: Cool, now let me see so I exploit it on MicePace.
- Match: No way in hell! Go long, Eraser!
- Eraser: This isn't American football!
[He runs backwards anyways, bumping into Katarzyna on the way.]
- Katarzyna: I want to know what the hell is going on here. Start talking.
[Everyone talks at once.]
- Katarzyna: Cisza, wszyscy!
- Aristotelis: What are you doing here?
- Katarzyna: The dump is part of my night-time walking route. What are you doing here?
- Aristotelis: I am supervising my son and stepdaughter look for something.
- Match: He's lying, mum.
- Aristotelis: I swear, I'm not.
- Katarzyna: If you swear. But why are the kids here?
- Match: This afternoon, I threw away my mandatory quote book for school so Ari could have my room super clean for inspection.
- Eraser: But it turns out that everything ends up in the dump, which, as you all may know, is my home and native land.
- Aristotelis: Hold on. Match, why did you throw away your own book just so I couldn't see it?
- Katarzyna: Yeah, are you hiding anything from us?
- Match: No, it's not that, it's just … I'm afraid you'll post it online, and then I'll get unwanted attention from strangers, and then I'll be known as the girl with the premature colouring book.
- Katarzyna: Oh, Matchke, there is nothing about you that is premature.
- Aristotelis: Wait, really? [they all look at him] Okay, I'll stop.
- Katarzyna: No matter what, we'll never do anything to make you ruin we're reputation.
- Match: Does that mean you won't look at it?
- Katarzyna: Of course not. I want to be proud of my daughter, but to make her go through humiliation isn't in my book.
- Match: Thank you guys so much. I hate you a bit less now.
- [ · ]: Awwwwwww!
[They hug. Just as they do so, Pen and Pencil ecstatically pass by the hugging family.]
- Pen: Wow! Who'd of thought that the richest family in Africa are hugging each other in a place like this?
- Pencil: Wotevs. Let's jus' go to my 'ouse!
- Pen: Ouch, I can't. Y'know I have to prepare for the Bozemans' visit. Duty calls!
- Pencil: 'E's so handsome …
The next day at Haroldine's
- Needle: So Pencil, how does it feel being freed from prison?
- Nelson: It wasn't prison, it's just college.