Tuesday, October 29, 2013
- Zorah: This is stupid!
- Yaretzi: No it's not! It's awareness and I love awareness.
- Helvetia: Yes, it's for a very good cause.
- Zorah: You know what it's about?
- Helvetia: Non.
- Yaretzi: Hey, there's Saye!
- Zorah: Yo Saye! I see you hanging out there!
- Saye: [stepping out of the queue] What are you two doing here? I'm with my friends.
- Popsicley: Yeah, she's with us.
- Yaretzi: Do you know what this meeting's for?
- Saye: I haven't a clue. Might be boring, though.
- Boat: [loudly] And if she knew, she sure as day wouldn't tell you!
[Everyone looks at her.]
- Chocolatey: Oh my tree sap.
- Minola: You've never stood up for yourself!
- Shelly: Good job!
- Boat: Sorry, I've realised my mistake and shall become meek again.
- Zorah: Ricky, you know the shady school stuff! What's this all about?
- Rickoberto: I don't know, my brother hasn't given me the deets. That means details.
- Zorah: Yeah, I know that.
- Popsicley: Come on, Saye, I think we've got seats next to Bdoulayé.
- Chocolatey: You only like him because he's got a giant freezer!
- Saye: Like I said, it will probably be a boring speech anyway.
- Saye: Best speech ever!
- Javier: The use of rhetoric in his voice was very convincing.
- Pen: I take it you all enjoyed school today?
[A. R. I.]
- Salvador: Yeah! For once.
- Pencil: Oi, you kids should 'ave such attitudes so h'all the time! Not jus' acos some man does a speech thet "will blow yer minds" through psychological stuff.
- Saye: How was your day?
- Pencil: I did a good thing today!
- Citlali: What happened?
[Enter Match. She is speaking into her phone.]
- Match: Turn right at, like, 80 centimetres.
- Ximena: Aunt Match, your phone's supposed to talk to you!
- Pencil: Invited'e h'o'er fer tea.
- Match: Oh, you haven't heard? Like, Meeple's having a contest about making a new Kenyan voice assistant. And I'm totally, like, auditioning!
- Pencil: I've been 'elpin'e with 'er words.
- Zorah: Have fun with that.
- Javier: Anyway, the guy at the speech was so cool!
- Qalam-Rassas: He told us what to do!
- Citlali: And we actually listened.
- Pencil: [getting up] Well, wot kind o' speech's so grand as to warrant th' entire school attendin'?
- Saye: Ladies, gentleman... The day after tomorrow, we shall have our first Nairobi Halloween!
- Pencil: Wot? A Nairobi 'Alloween's when we decorate minimally an' tellin' the local kids we h'ain' 'ome! Wot's I do h'o' this?
- Zorah: You are, that's the problem.
- Javier: Yes, when you go to the North American neighbourhoods they take it seriously.
- Pencil: I'm sorry, but we h'ain' from North America!
[Pen and Match both clear their throats, attracting Pencil's attention.]
- Pencil: Sorry.
- Qalam-Rassas: Come on, Mummy!
- Pencil: Fine, alright. We can celebrate 'Alloween if you wan' to. 'Ow do ye Canadians do'e? D'ye decorate an' do little costumes?
- Pen: Oh yeah.
- Match: Times, like, a brazillion.
- Pencil: Wow. [Beat.] Did'ee jus' says "Brazilian"?
- Sio: I think Halloween at our house is a great idea! The speech guy said it all!
- Ximena: Ooh, can we buy our costumes?
- Saye: As someone who knows her fashion—
- Citlali: Ha! You "know" fashion.
- Saye: [ignoring] You remember what he said at the end of the speech.
- Qalam-Rassas: "Stay here; it's not home time"?
- Saye: He said, "Go forth and shop for costumes." That means that all the stores will be crowded.
- Citlali: And we'll be shopping with everybody else. I love it, can we go!
- Pen: Sorry, we'll have to wait for another day.
- Match: Yeah, like, like tomorrow.
Wednesday, October 30
Parti's Party Store
- Pencil: So this shop wasn' 'ere yesterday, innit?
- Ximena: No, it's very new.
- Cil: Goo!
- Citlali: No, Cil, she meant "goo"—I mean, "new".
- Pencil: I taste suspicion 'ere.
- Pen: Oh, Penc, lighten up. I did some research and Halloween is a thing in Britain.
- Ximena: Grandpa would be proud.
- Pencil: Not exactly. 'E's too busy rantin' about 'ow 'Alloween's made fer the devils.
- Salvador: That's a good costume idea!
[Meanwhile, with the kids.]
- Saye: Nurse, nurse, suggestive nurse, suggestive nurse, suggestive nurse. Aunt Match, why the heck are there so many of these?
- Match: Because, y'know, like, if you find a costume, you got to make sure everyone will think it's pretty. Do you have to be a nurse, like, anyway?
- Saye: No, but all of my friends are going as nurses. We're going to be the hospital alliance. The Hospitalliance!
- Match: Omg, like, peer pressure, girl! Just like the good old days.
- Yaretzi: Who should I be?
- Zorah: How about I be an angel and you be a devil?
- Salvador: That one's taken.
- Yaretzi: How about we go as each other? We are the only twins of the same gender.
- Zorah: Yeah, I can learn to act happy and dumb.
- Citlali: The shades, the tiara... It's perfect! I'll go as me times a hundred!
- Javier: Why exactly am I the mad scientist?
- Qalam-Rassas: You wouldn't want to be a football player.
- Sio: Or Beatnik.
- Javier: Now I'm just mad.
- Pencil: 'Ow're me costume-seekin' kids doin' so far?
- Sio: Great!
- Yaretzi: We've all picked out our costumes!
- Salvador: Except Mona.
- Pencil: MONA!
[Enter Ximena. She is shining very brightly.]
- Ximena: Here I am!
- Pencil: Oi, turn thet thing off! I think you're drainin' the power o' th' entire store.
- Ximena: Sorry!
[She turns the lights off.]
- Ximena: This is my Christmas tree costume. If we're going to be trick-or-treating, we're going to need a lot of light.
- Pencil: Mona's right. To the cashier!
- Pencil: Thet was fun!
- Pen: You should have seen the look on his face when you said we were all in the same family.
- Salvador: We know.
- Zorah: Mum made us smile.
- Citlali: Weren't we awkward?
- Pencil: Come on, let's go to the decorations store next!
- Saye: You go on, we're going home with Dad.
- Qalam-Rassas: I'm tired!
- Match: 'Kay, meet you back home!
- Pencil: Not with the way we shop, eh?
- Match: Ha!
[The two groups walk in different directions.]
Thursday, October 31
- Sio: Good morning!
- Javier: There's my cliché parents!
- Saye: Why aren't you wearing your Halloween costumes?
- Pencil: I don't know, why h'ain'ee wearin' yours?
- Saye: Because we don't wear our costumes until it's night!
[Enter Yaretzi and Zorah, dressed as each other.]
- Yaretzi: I'm Zorah! I cackle and make potions in my room!
- Zorah: I'm Issie. I am always happy for some reason.
- Pencil: Oh, ain' the twins so h'adorable? Besides the potions comment.
- Pen: Why so early, girls?
- Citlali: Dad, you can't just insult their sense of fashion. And anyway, they didn't even get their voices, like, right.
- Yaretzi: We're having a contest.
- Zorah: The first one to take away this dumb, I mean, a-ma-zing costume has to give half of her candy to the other.
- Pencil: Thet's very cute.
- Javier: You know, Mum, grown-ups have to have a costume too.
- Pencil: Wot? 'O told you thet? The speech man?
- Sio: How did you know?
- Ximena: It looks like you'd better go to the Parti Party Store and pick something out!
- Pencil: Oh, alright. Pen, you're goin' with me.
- Pen: Why?
- Pencil: Wan' me to pick somethin' fer'ee, acos I've got somethin' in me mind.
[She raises her eyebrows up and down.]
- Pen: On second thought, I'll go!
- Pencil: Shall we?
- Pen: Saye, you're in charge!
- Pencil: [going] 'Ello, Match.
- Pen: [to Saye] Never mind!
- Match: Kids!
- Kids: Aunt Match!
- Ximena: You're here early!
- Match: Like, totally.
- Salvador: Did something bad happen to Uncle Eraser?
- Match: No, he's just visiting Bafuworld for the day.
- Javier: No way! That's the biggest WC in the EAC!
- Match: He should be back, so I can, like, give him his Halloween costume.
- Yaretzi: Give?
- Match: Well, Zorah, every year, like, your uncle went as the same exact thing. A paper bag.
- All: A paper bag?
- Sio: Why?
- Match: Like, symbolism or some junk. Omg, we're going to have the best night ever together! Especially me and my, like, fellow nurse.
- Saye: Aunt Match, I've already changed my mind. We are now going as the beautiful non-dead.
- Zorah: It's undead, I know some of them!
- Yaretzi: Yaretzi wouldn't know stuff like that.
- Zorah: Oh, poo.
- Match: So, like, where are your mum and dad going?
- Saye: Halloween shopping!
- Salvador: They forgot old people need to dress up.
- Match: Omg, those old people.
- Citlali: Aunt Match, you're, like, like our mum's age!
- Match: At least I remembered to dress up. So, what do you, like, want to do?
- Qalam-Rassas: Video games?
- Salvador: I'm down!
- Javier: As long as it's educational; we're missing school today!
[The boys hurry downstairs.]
- Yaretzi: I want to watch the Good News channel.
- Zorah: No I wouldn't! Unless you're really me.
- Yaretzi: I mean, I'll go outside and throw rocks.
- Saye: And I'll be on the phone.
- Citlali: I'll be listening in.
- Match: Well, Mona, it looks like it's just you and me.
- Ximena: Hooray!
- Match: Looking forward to your costume?
- Ximena: No. I hate it.
- Match: Omg, like, why? Christmas trees are so in... I think.
- Ximena: But it's not me. I just chose it because I didn't want to feel left out.
- Match: The fear of that, eh? Don't worry. I'll make you a costume that will, like, totally make your brothers and sisters jealous.
- Ximena: Aw, thank you!
- Match: No worries. So let's get started on this thing!
- Match: Omg, Mona, thanks for bonding with me!
- Ximena: What?
- Match: Presenting... your new costume!
[She shows... something.]
- Ximena: Yay, thank you!
- Citlali: What is it?
- Match: She's a Viking... [dreamily] whose male versions were part of, like, the hottest pillaging team ever.
- Zorah: Aunt Match, shame on you!
- Salvador: There are children here!
- Cil: Goo!
- Sio: Hey, it's Cil!
- Match: Oh yeah. What's he going to be?
- Javier: Mother heeded his request, so he's going to be a—
- Cil: Ghoul!
[Enter Pencil and Pen.]
- Pencil: 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, 'ow're me kids doin' today?
- Match: There you are! These kids have been, like, avoiding me all day.
- Saye: Aunt Match!
- Pencil: Oi, why do thet?
- Match: It's okay, Mona and I were working on her, like, costume.
- Ximena: I look great!
- Pencil: Nice unicorn-astronaut thing, Match.
- Pen: That's what it was? I thought it was the spirit of the 1960s.
- Saye: So Mum, Dad, what are your costumes?
- Pencil: I'm goin' as a witch!
- Match: Omg, is it a suggestive witch?
- Pencil: Why'n'ale's e'erythin' t'ee's suggestive? It's normal, I swear!
- Pen: Yeah, because most witch dresses are three sizes too small.
- Match: Alright, then, like, what's on yo, bro?
- Pen: What's tall and thin...
- Salvador: You?
- Pen: And wears a suit...
- Saye: You when you sing opera?
- Pen: And has white skin?
- Javier: Privilege?
- Pen: You really don't recognise this?
[He pulls out a Slender Man costume, here known as Blender Man. The kids gasp.]
- Zorah: You're Bl—Bl—Bl—
- Yaretzi: Blender Man!
- Zorah: His followers don't finish his name.
- Yaretzi: I mean, Bl—Bl—Bl—
- Pencil: It's nice, innit? I chose'e fer'e.
- Zorah: Except you didn't get the face right.
- Javier: Studies have shown that Blender Man is faceless.
- Pen: Come on, why would anybody want to cover this?
- Pencil: Well, we've got the costumes. Wot more shall we do h'ere it's time?
- Sio: The guy from the speech told us to stay still until 18:21.
- Pencil: Why?
- Sio: That's the time the sun sets!
- Pen: Sounds promising. Penc, want to help me get the candy ready?
- Citlali: What candy?
- Pen: This!
[He opens a counter that is full of candy.]
- Salvador: You had this without us noticing?
- Pencil: Thet's where Match an' I were yesterday! Not only've we got candy, but we've chocolates, fruit bars, all o' the foods you could get away with eatin' jus' fer today.
- Sio: May we eat them now?
- Pencil: Wot, no! You're all goin' off fer th'Alloween! [to Pen] 'Ow's thet?
- Pen: Most people don't say "the Halloween". [to the kids] Your mum's right, the amount of candy we give should be equal to the amount of candy you get!
- Salvador: What is this, maths?
- Javier: Oh, I hope!
- Pencil: Now geh'n' get yer costumes fer the time's almos' 'ere!
[Exeunt. A few minutes later, there is everybody in their costumes.]
- Match: [inspecting] Nice, nice, nice, like, cool, nice, like, like... Saye, oh my, like, woodsicles, what is that?
- Saye: I told you, it's the non-dead.
- Zorah: Un-dead!
- Yaretzi: Yes, the un-dead!
- Match: It looks nice for you.
- Saye: Aw, thanks!
- Match: Now what do you say we get the show on the road!
- Qalam-Rassas: Can Mum and Dad come with us?
- Pen: We'd love to—
- Pencil: But we're busy 'andin' out the sweets ter all o' yer friends.
- Match: Onward... march!
[Exeunt. Pencil sees Pen biting into a chocolate bar.]
- Pencil: Pen, you're not supposed ter eat the sweets!
- Pen: I can't help it! We'd better get some guests in right away.
[There is a knock on the door.]
- Pencil: I'll get'ee!
[She looks through the door and sees their neighbour Helena outside.]
- Pencil: Omg, it's 'Elena.
- Pen: Does she want anything?
- Pencil: E'ery year she h'asks me to go to church with'e fer All Saints' Day.
- Pen: We've lived here for two years, why hasn't she come when I'm around?
- Pencil: Acos las' year we spent 'Alloween in thet 'aunted 'ouse an' the year before you were at the pub!
- Pen: That explains it.
- Pencil: Open the door whils' I hide!
- Pen: Okay.
[She opens the door.]
- Pen: Helena! [pronounced improperly] Habari za mchana!
- Helena: Good evening, Mr. Schreiber, habari za familia?
- Pen: Er...
- Helena: Je, mke wako nyumbani?
- Pen: [agitated] Oh, she's here!
- Pencil: Dude!
[The door opens, revealing Pencil dressed as a witch. Helena screams.]
- Pencil: Oh dear, hii sio jinsi inavyoonekana!
- Helena: Mimi niende sasa, siwezi kuwa mbele ya mchawi!
- Pencil: Wait, please!
- Helena: Nitawaombea.
- Pencil: Now you see why me dad ne'er celebrated 'Alloween, eh?
- Pen: I've suddenly lost my appetite for sweets.
[She elbows him playfully.]
- Citlali: Saye, what time is it?
- Saye: My phone says... my friends are getting closer.
- Citlali: That didn't have anything to do with—
- Match: Nice Halloween spirit, whoever you are!
- Yaretzi: Oh no, my horoscope!
- Zorah: [scoffs] Uh, Zorah wouldn't scream about her horoscope.
- Yaretzi: I mean... hoo, ho, bro, this horoscope of mine.
- Javier: [reading off] "Today is the day of the Flicker-o'-Sky."
- Yaretzi: Which means, it should be nighttime in—
[Immediately, the sky switches from day to night.]
- Zorah: Zero seconds, yay!
- Salvador: Can you stop being positive?
- Zorah: You want to be included in this bet, O demon?
- Salvador: No.
- Zorah: Then shut up—I mean, please do be quiet for my selfish needs, hooray!
- Match: Easy there, Martha and Megan.
- Javier: It's dark outside; I'm getting the heebie-jeebies!
- Salvador: That's racist!
- Match: It's, like, a bit dark.
[One by one, the houses on the neighbourhood light up with decorations.]
- Citlali: Wow. This is lovely!
- Sio: I've never seen Nairobi like this since last Christmas.
- Saye: I could stay here forever!
[Phone alert sound.]
- Saye: Omg, they're here. Gotta go!
- Citlali: [going with her] So do I!
- Saye: What?
- Match: Stay safe! [to the others] Alright, it looks like it's just the one, two, three, four... seven of us. Remember that, like, number, eh?
- Javier: This will be fun.
- Match: When I say "se-", you say "-ven!" Se!
- Match: Se!
- Match: Omg, like, no fun!