Experimental Relationship

Story is in Completed Mode! "Wow, spending so much time in this void has actually made me finish!" - Pen This story has officially been over. Go check out this episode's info page for information about music, characters, trivia and more! Also, please know that after 24 hours of this on an episode page, you must only edit it if the placement of words has the same amount of letters in it.

Warning! "Wot'n ale's fozz'r'ye doin'?" - Pencil This page contains profanity, like the sentence above. I have created two ways to censor those words, but I've also discovered that on mobile view, they lie uncensored. So please, show some cognoscience about what you may see. If you do have a problem with profanity, please refer to this page § 3.

"Experimental Relationship" is an episode in the 1st season of the Ageless Series. In this episode, Pen gets a new girlfriend and Pencil is taken aback after she finds out. But what she doesn't know is that he is trying to make her jealous.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

The Schreibers' house

[A scream is heard]

• Pen: [asleep] Heal what has been hurt. Bring back what once was mine. Heal what has been hurt. Bring back what once was mine. Heal what has been hurt. Bring back what once was mine. Heal what has been hurt. Bring back what once was mine. Hea-

[Eraser splashes water on him, waking him up immediately]

• Pen: Kyaaa! [he punches Eraser] M-my cap! [he puts his hands on his cap] Thank G-d...
• Eraser: Dude! What was that for!? [he punches Pen] There, now we're even!

• Pen: Sorry, it's just that I was having a bad dream about-
• Eraser: I don't care. Anyways, since you were going to talk about your dream, I'm going to steal that opportunity by talking about my dream! How does that feel?
• Pen: Seriously? This is what you woke me up for? Handsome men like me need their beauty sleep, y'know. You're just wasting my time.
• Eraser: Shut up. I'm getting you back for waking me up when I was having a wet wonderful dream! Geez, I didn't think that you could scream so loudly and girlishly!
• Pen: ...But I was being robbed...
• Eraser: So, you know that girl that transferred to our school a few months ago?
• Pen: You were dreaming about her? Ew.
• Eraser: WHAT? Bro, bro, bro... Bro... Rose is smokin' hot!
• Pen: No, that's not what I meant! I know that she's... pretty cute, but it's just a little disturbing that you're having dreams about a 16 year old girl.
• Eraser: Oh, come on! The age gap isn't even that big! What are you gonna tell me next, mom? That I'm too old to ride a bicycle?
• Pen: [sigh] You know what, fantasize all you want. It's too early for this. I'm going back to bed. [he lays down]
• Eraser: [lays back down as well] I bet if you had a girl like that, you could make anyone jealous. Anyone. Whether it be a girl or a boy.
• Pen: Don't fantasize out loud, please. [he turns off the light] Good night. And sweet dreams.

School

• Rose: Hey, girls.
• Tulip: Hi, Rose!
• Tiger Lily: Yoooo!
• Rose: What's up?
• Tiger Lily: So brosephines, can you believe the weather? 'Cause I'm not a very big fan of it. I can't wait 'till winter ends. It's just not our season.
• Tulip: I know, right? I think I've already started wilting!
• Tiger Lily: But hold on tight, dudettes, because after February, they'll finally get to see us bloom!
• Tulip: Yeah, and winter fashion just doesn't suit us. We're going to wilt and look ugly! Our popularity rank has gone down ever since December because we can't cope with the coldness of mother nature! [she holds up the statistics on a clipboard] If we don't do something, this is going to be a problem every year. But Rose is still going strong. Right, Rose?
• Rose: [sigh] Yeah... [looks out window]
• Tiger Lily: Uh, hate to ruin our current discussion, but it's obvious that Rose is concerned about something else. Care to explain, Rose?
• Tulip: Yeah, during these past few days, you've been very distant. Is it us? Are we just not good enough for you?
• Tiger Lily: Are we boring you or something? Omg, don't tell me that we're boring! I hate boring people, and if I'm boring, I won't be able to live with myself!
• Rose: What? No, girls, that's not it. I just...uh...
• Tulip: Well?
• Tiger Lily: Spit it out!
• Rose: If I say it, you'll get all hyper and aggressively curious, which is going to draw attention.
• Tiger Lily: No, we won't!
• Tulip: Promise.
• Rose: Alright, fine... I've got a crush.

[Tulip and Tiger Lily do a high-pitched scream while jumping up and down wildly. Some people in the cafeteria stare.]

• Tiger Lily: Ohmagosh omagosh omagosh, who is it!?
• Tulip: Yeah yeah yeah, give us the deets!

[Rose facepalms. Suddenly, Tulip and Tiger Lily notice Rose and realize that they're being embarrassing. They quickly sit down.]

• Tulip: Oops...
• Tiger Lily: Sorry. We won't do it again. Just please tell us who it is, we are dying to know.
• Tulip: Yeah, and if we embarrass you again, I swear to G-d I'll break every single one of my petals.
• Rose: Oh, you better. Ok guys, here's the big reveal. It's...

[She points at the jocks table. More specifically, at Delphinium. Tulip and Tiger Lily squeal quietly.]

• Tulip: Oooh, good choice! So you're into the tall, dark and handsome ones, aren't you?
• Tiger Lily: Honestly, I'm not so surprised. I may have seen that one coming.
• Tulip: For real?
• Tiger Lily: I mean, he's the only other flower that's in any of her classes, beside us.
• Tulip: Sooooo, Rosie, why don't you make a move?
• Rose: What? Tulip, have you ever even had a crush before? It's not that simple. In fact, dating is probably as complicated as popularity.

[A lightbulb dings at the top of Tiger Lily's head.]

• Tiger Lily: Rosie, you're a genius!
• Rose: First of all, stop calling me rosie. Second of all, huh?
• Tiger Lily: Girlfriend, you just gave me an idea that will benefit all of us.

Outside of School

• Match: Ugh, like, I'm so glad that classes are over. Our Swahili teacher just gets on my nerves.
• Pencil: That's okay, Match. Utapata kawaida.
• Match: What?
• Pencil: Never mind.
• Bubble: Soio, guys-
• Match: We're girls!
• Pen: But I'm-
• Bubble: Soio, goirls, would you loike to go to Shōhakoku to oise the stress?
• Match: Omg Bubble, like, yes. That is just what I, like, need right now.
• Pencil: Aye, me too! Pen, wanna come with?
• Pen: Sorry, but I don't have that kind of time right now. And you're going to talk about uninteresting girl stuff Our Swahili teacher gave me extra homework for...
• Pencil: Let me guess. Cheating?
• Pen: Well, yeah, but he really is the worst!
• Match: That's one thing we can agree on.
• Pencil: Well, thet's unfortunate. I guess we'll see ye tomorrow?
• Pen: Y-yeah...

[Akward silence. Pen and Pencil are still standing face-to-face while Bubble and Match wait.]

• Match: Um, like, Pencil, it's time to go!
• Pencil: Okay, okay...

[Exit Bubble, Match, and Pencil.]

• Pen: [sigh] Oh, Pencil...

[Enter Rose. She "accidentally" bumps into Pen, dropping all of the books she was holding.]

• Rose: Oh my gardener, I'm so sorry!
• Pen: No, it's my fault. I was in your way. Here, let me help.

[They bend down to pick up the same book, but they touch hands.]

• Pen: [pulling hand away] Oh, u-uh, sorry!
• Rose: No, let me just-

[They bump heads.]

• Pen: Aaaaah, okay, how about I just pick up the heavy books and you pick up the binders?
• Rose: I can pick up heavy things too, you know! Why do you think I was carrying them in the first pla-

[Rose suddenly looks behind her. Tulip and Tiger Lily are behind a corner, shaking their heads.]

• Rose: Buuuuut if you insist, I'll let you handle it. [picking up binders] I appreciate your kindness. Thanks.
• Pen: Oh, it's no problem. Here you go. [he gives the books to her.]

[They get up.]

• Rose: I'm Rose. It's nice to meet you. [she brushes her petals with her hand to make herself look more attractive]
• Pen: Oh, I know you! You're that transfer student from Europe, right? I'm Pen. It's nice to meet you too!

[They shake hands.]

• Rose: Yeah, I know your name. Everyone does. You're popular, like me!

• Pen: I'm... glad you acknowledge that? Well, I have to go now. Bye!
• Rose: Wait! I-I heard you're good at..uh...

[She looks behind her. Tulip is pretending to kick a ball and Tiger Lily is pretending to run.]

• Rose: ...cheating?

[Tulip and Tiger Lily facepalm.]

• Pen: Uh...thanks? What about cheating?
• Rose: I need you to...uh...um...

[She looks behind her again. Tulip and Tiger Lily are pretending to write.]

• Pen: Is there something behind you?
• Rose: No, no it's nothing! I tend to do that when I'm... A-a-anyways, I need you to...
• Pen: Listen, I apologize, but I really need to go.
• Rose: [rapidly] Please teach me your cheating techniques!
• Pen: Oh! You could've just said that a long time ago.
• Rose: Heh...
• Pen: ...But I need to do my Swahili homework. Y'see, I have this harsh teacher that's going to check if I did all of it tomorrow. So, there's really no time to waste.
• Rose: I'm having trouble with my Swahili too! In fact, I have a...err...test...tomorrow! I could come home with you!
• Pen: What? Are you listening to yourself? I can't let any of my relatives see that I brought a girl home. Who knows how they'll react? Also, that's kinda weird. I'm surprised that you were able to muster the courage to ask me of this.
• Rose: [sigh] Look, I have to do this. To tell you the truth, I-
• Pen: Wow, you're that devoted to your grades? You're very persistent too.
• Rose: Is that an admirable trait?
• Pen: Yeah, sure. I'll just give you my number. That way, we can talk to each other and I'll help you.
• Rose: Fine--I mean, of course! Silly me, why didn't I think of that.
• Pen: Here. [he hands her a paper slip with his number on it]
• Rose: Thanks...
• Pen: Call me whenever you feel like it. Goodbye! [starts jogging away]
• Rose: Good luck with your homework!
• Pen: Good luck with your test!

[Exit Pen. Enter Tulip and Tiger Lily.]

• Tiger Lily: [sarcastic] Smooth.
• Tulip: Yeah, Rose, what the heck!? You almost blew it!
• Rose: At least I got his number!
• Tiger Lily: Well, it could've been much more than that! Also, "I heard you're good at cheating"? He's a terrible cheater! Nice flirting, bimbo!
• Rose: Now you're just being mean!
• Tulip: And worst of all, why would you even consider telling him the truth!?
• Rose: I PANICKED, OKAY!? And I've never done something so...so dishonest before...

[Silence. Then they all do a group hug.]

• Tulip: Oh Rose, we're so sorry that we put you through so much pressure.
• Tiger Lily: It's just that we wanted to help you to be popular and get the man of your dreams.
• Rose: No... I understand. This is the only way to become popular and not make myself look desperate in front of my future boyfriend!
• Tulip: Which one?
• Rose: ...Both, I guess.

The Schreibers' house

[On the TV]

• Caroline: I'm sorry Jose, but..I don't love you!
• Alessandro: [exaggerated gasp] Wh-why are you-a saying these-a ridiculous things, Caroline? You must be-a joking!
• Caroline: No, the one who I truly love...is...is...
• Alessandro: N-no...it can't-a be-a!
• Caroline: Caesar!

[Real life. Match and Eraser gasp.]

• Match: Omg, like, seriously? But Caesar's too, like, moody!
• Eraser: Yeah, that's utter bullshit!
• Match: Whatever, at least he's better than Alessandro.

[Enter Pen]

• Pen: Hey guys, what'd I miss?
• Match: Caroline's in love with Caesar!
• Pen: I knew it! [smugly] Eraser, you already know what to do. Please and thank you.

[Eraser angrily gives him 1000 shillings. While Match and Eraser continue to watch, Pen checks his phone.]

• Pen: She hasn't called yet...
• Match: What was that?
• Pen: Nothing!

[His phone rings]

• Pen: You guys keep watching.

[Exit Pen]

Pen's room

• Pen: Okay, so, the thing you mostly need to be aware of when you're cheating is your surroundings. Someone might catch you. But just don't look too suspicious when you're checking. ... Both your surroundings and your answers. ... ... Uuuh, I would recommend invisible ink. Or, actually, you could write your notes on a scarf or something, then wear said scarf to school- ... ... ...Oh, scarves don't suit you? That can't be your only reason! [smile] Oh, you were joking. ... ... Scarves actually make you look bad? Don't say that! ... ... Would I look good in a scarf? Well, duh! ... Prove it? Fine! I'll send a picture! One sec...

[5 hours later. Pen is still on the phone.]

• Pen: [yawn] I'm...finally...done my...homework... [to the phone] ... ... I... don't think amoebas have feelings, no...

[Enter Eraser.]

• Eraser: Yo, dude! Match and I just finished binge-watching a whole season of Young Multiracial Love! Did you know that Jose-
• Pen: Don't spoil it! [to the phone] ... ... Oh, I was just talking to my brother.
• Eraser: Ooh, who you talking to?
• Pen: None of your business! [to the phone] No, not you!
• Eraser: Let me see!

[He attempts to grab it, but Pen still holds on. They both pull on it.]

• Pen: No! It's my phone, so you can't just do that!
• Eraser: But you've probably been talking to this person for the past 5 hours! I wanna know who it is! Is it Pencil?
• Pen: I'm not telling you anything!
• Eraser: Why?
• Pen: Because if I do, you'll steal my phone from me!
• Eraser: Why do you think so?
• Pen: Eraser, you're gonna break it!

[Enter Match.]

• Match: Omg, like, what is going on? There are people, who like, need to sleep!
• Eraser: Match, help me get his phone!
• Match: Like, why?
• Eraser: He's talking to someone and he won't tell me!
• Match: Interesting!

[Match joins Eraser and they both manage to take the phone easily.]

• Eraser: Aw, man! The call ended!
• Match: I'm going to his recents.
• Pen: Too bad you won't recognize the number!
• Match: Omg, I recognize this number. This is Rose!
• Eraser: What?
• Pen: Darn it! Wait, Match, how did you know?
• Match: We're, like, lab partners. She's a sensitive one. So, why were you talking to her of all people?
• Eraser: Yeah, why you and not me?
• Pen: She needed help with her cheating techniques! So she came to me! I gave her my number because she needed to talk to me today.
• Eraser: What the fuck? She could've just talked to me! No offense, but I'm a way better cheater than you.
• Match: Eraser, trust me when I say this, but she isn't your, like, type. She's into, like, winter fashion, specifically, like, scarves and ugly christmas sweaters.
• Pen: NO, she-
• Eraser: Ew, ugly christmas sweaters? Now I'm turned off.
• Pen: Good to know, Eraser. Now can we just drop it and sleep? I've been doing homework with google translate while teaching a girl about cheating and talking about other stuff to her.
• Match: That is hilarious.
• Pen: What?
• Match: She totally, just like, took advantage of you. Or does she loooooove you?
• Eraser: Ooh, Pen's got a girlfriend who's into ugly christmas sweaters and is using him!
• Pen: You know what, I'm too tired to get angry at you guys, so goodnight.

[He pushes Match, who is giggling, out of the room.]

• Pen: Eraser, don't. Say. A thing.

Friday, January 27, 2006

The next morning

• Match: Teeheehee!
• Pencil: Match, wot'r'e laughin' about?
• Bubble: Are yoio still thinking about the joke I moide about Spongy yesterdoy?
• Match: Like, not even close! So, girls, yesterday Pen was like, talking to Rose on the phone.
• Pencil: Wot? You mean thet...pretty girl?
• Match: Yeah! It's so funny because she was, like, obviously using him to gain, like, cheating efficiency or something.
• Pencil: Cheatin' efficiency?
• Match: Yeah, she like, has a test today, so it was like, super important to her.
• Pencil: Ah, thet makes sense.
• Match: Also, I think she, like, talked to him for, like, 5 hours.

[Pencil's eyes widen.]

• Bubble: Wow, even oi've never talked on the phoine for that loiong!

• Pencil: Ye've got to kiddin' me. Thet's insane!
• Match: I know, right? She must be like, that good at charming boys.
• Bubble: Pen probably loikes her!
• Pencil: Or, she jus' annoyed'ee to death?
• Match: Omg, now that I, like think about it, he was like, so cranky and exhausted last night.
• Pencil: So'ee doesn't like'er?
• Bubble: Sure!
• Match: Whatever you, like, say, Penc-penc. But why do you, like, cling to that thought?
• Pencil: I ain't agains' anythin'!
• Match: Okay...

[Enter Pen.]

• Pen: Hey, guys! Guess who actually did their homework? This guy!
• Match: No one, like, cares!
• Pen: Meanie. Well, bye, Penc!

[Pencil opens her mouth to say something, but stops herself. Pen jogs off.]===Science class===

• Rose: Hey, Match!
• Match: Hi... Rose.
• Rose: Uh... What's with the smirk?
• Match: Omg, you are, like, so cute.
• Rose: ...Wha?
• Match: [leans closer, whsipering] You and Pen.
• Rose: Oh. Ohhhh. You're his sister. Yeah, umm, do you promise not to tell anyone?
• Match: That you like, like Pen?
• Rose: Actually, about that...

[she whispers in her ear. Match has a shocked, yet excited expression.]

• Match: Omg. Omg, I know exactly what you should do.

After school

• Rose: Hey, Pen! Wait up!
• Pen: Oh, Rose! How was your test?
• Rose: It was...great! Your tips really, uh, helped me, and I wanted to thank you for that.
• Pen: Anytime!
• Rose: Also, you know how it's, y'know, Friday?
• Pen: Yeah...
• Rose: I just figured that you would have the time to come to my house. To study.
• Pen: When?
• Rose: Today.
• Pen: U-um...
• Rose: To study.
• Pen: Why me?
• Rose: You just seem like a really good friend, and I wanted to repay you by showing you some of my expertise!
• Pen: Wow, Rose, you really don't-
• Rose: Come on, please? I insist. It'll be fun. I'll make sure of it.
• Pen: Well, erm...

[Rose does a puppy face.]

• Pen: [sigh] Okay, fine. I guess it wouldn't hurt...
• Rose: Yay!
• Pen: But first I have to tell my parents. [dials]
• Katarzyna: [from the other side] Hello?
• Pen: Hey, Kat. So, I did my homework yesterday, as in, all of it, so will you let me come over to a friend's house?
• Katarzyna: I'm still very impressed! But what are you gonna do with your friend?
• Pen: Get this--we're going to study.
• Katarzyna: Wow! In that case, of course I'll let you go! Your friend must be a very good influence, so it must be unnecessary to even ask who it is!
• Pen: Great! Bye. [ends call]
• Rose: Great! Shall we go?
• Pen: Sure, whatever.

[Exit]

Rose’s house

• Pen: Nice house! It’s...really clean.
• Rose: Thanks! So, this is the bathroom but make sure to flush the toilet, clean the toilet seat for 5 minutes, and wash your hands for an extra 5 minutes, but don’t make a mess while you’re at it.
• Pen: Really? [sigh] It takes so much effort just to be clean!
• Rose: Oh, tell me about it. I’m sorry, but I’m really not the one making the rules here. My parents are such neat freaks. I wish they would just let me touch food without making me wash my hands for, like, ever!
• Pen: Wow, that must suck.
• Rose: Nah, I’m used to it by now. I’m just patiently waiting for the day this lifestyle changes. [They enter a room] And this is my room! Don’t be surprised by how clean it is.
• Pen: That’s a lot of red and pink. Kind of reminds me of my sister’s room. By the way, how is she in science class?
• Rose: She’s nice to talk to, but she doesn’t focus and it’s really, really...
• Pen & Rose: Frustrating!
• Pen: I totally understand.
• Rose: [blush] U-um, well, speaking of science, I actually know a whole lot! I could teach you a bunch of stuff. Hopefully, it’ll be helpful.
• Pen: Let’s get started then!

[Montage of them “studying” with no dialogue. 1 hour passes.]

• Rose: I wonder if they’ll disown Pluto as a planet?
• Pen: Eh, I don’t think so. Pluto isn’t that tiny.
• Rose: Are you sure? It’s only 1,188 kilometres and is 0.2% the mass of the Earth.
• Pen: Wow, you’re pretty and smart? [covers mouth] Uh, I mean...
• Rose: You know Pen, girls can be just as smart and beautiful as boys! Errr, good-looking or whatever.
• Pen: Oh, so you don’t mind the fact that I called you...
• Rose: Pretty? People call me that all the time. At this point it’s more of just a statement than a compliment.
• Pen: Same. When I go outside, some people stare or just straight up tell me that I’m handsome! And, like, I already know that.
• Rose: Heh, speaking of “going out”... Do you want to, maybe, go out with me? [bats eyelashes]

[Zoom deep into the mind of a wide-eyed Pen. A flashback plays.]

• Eraser: I bet if you had a girl like that, you could make anyone jealous. Anyone. Whether it be a girl or a boy. Anyone. Anyone. Anyone. Anyone. Anyone. ANYONE. ANYOOOOOOONE.
• Pen: You mean like Pencil?
• Eraser: ...AAAAAANNNNYYYYYOOOOOOOOO-

[Zoom out.]

• Rose: Uh...Hello? Pen? [claps hands really loud] Oh god, I knew this was a bad idea.

[Pen gasps, snapping back into reality.]

• Rose: [sigh] You know what, just forget it. I really hate to pressure you, so just be hone-
• Pen: Yes!
• Rose: What? Really?
• Pen: Of course! We’ve done our fair share of bonding, right? We’d be a...cute couple! Don’t you think?
• Rose: Um...yeah! We can give this a chance!
• Pen: So...what do high school couples do?
• Rose: Really?
• Pen: Cut me some slack. I just came here last year!
• Rose: I’m surprised that someone like you hasn’t dated anyone before!
• Pen: I mean, I have, but not in high school.
• Rose: In that case, let’s starts us off with this. [leans in for a kiss]
• Pen: Uh, no thanks! I can do this though! [kisses her on the cheek really quickly]
• Rose: Awww, cute! That will suffice.
• Pen: Uh, okay great, I have to go now.
• Rose: Call me!

[Pen sighs]

• Rose: Don’t worry baby, you’ll get used to it!
• Pen: Baby?
• Rose: I’m your girlfriend now, remember?
• Pen: Right.

[Exit Pen]

• Rose: This is going to need some work...

[Pan to her phone screen. She goes to her contacts and calls Match.]

The Schreibers’ house

• Match: Good evening, Peeeeeeeeeennnnnn.
• Pen: Wait a second. I know that tone. You’re acting like you know something. That is not a good sign.
• Match: This is like, soooooooo exciting!
• Pen: Is this about what I think this is about?
• Match: You and Rose are, like, officially a thing now! Congratulations, Pen!

[Pen covers her mouth and brings her to the kitchen.]

• Pen: [whispering] Oh my God, how do you know!? I demand answers!
• Match: I have my sources.
• Pen: You always say that!
• Match: I think you have, like, more important things to worry about.
• Pen: [sigh] Okay listen, whatever you do, just don’t tell mom, dad, or Eraser. Please.
• Match: Omg, okay. I mean, like, a part of me didn’t think you would actually say yes, but I guess you’re that, like, shallow! Anyways, I won’t tell them...if you do me a favour.
• Pen: Ugh, another one of your blackmails. I should’ve seen this coming. What is it?
• Match: Go to Tiger Lily’s party tomorrow. It starts at like, 6 PM. Be there at that exact time with Rose.
• Pen: Who’s Tiger Lily?
• Match: One of Rose’s friends. Rose was going to tell you, but I guess she, like, got distracted. BTW, Pencil and I are going to be there.

[Pen’s eyes light up]

• Pen: That won’t be a problem, then.
• Match: Great...You know, it looks to me like I’m not the only one who’s hiding something...
• Pen: Match, stop it! It’s just scary when you talk slowly and not say “like” in a sentence!

[Exit Pen]

Pen’s room

• Pen: What was I thinking!? This was a bad decision...
• Eraser: What was?
• Pen: Eraser, shut up before you give me any more ideas!
• Eraser: What?

[Pen looks him dead in the eye.]

• Pen: None of your damn business.
• Eraser: O-kaaaay, you’re in a bad mood, so I should be going to sleep.
• Pen: [Aside] What have I gotten myself into?

Saturday, January 28, 2006

The next morning

• Match: So girls, are you like excited for the party?
• Pencil: [from the other side] Aye!
• Bubble: [from the other side] Yoya!
• Pencil: I’d do anythin’ to forget about school.
• Bubble: Would you oiven drink?
• Pencil: Bubble, are’ee kiddin’? O’ course not! I jus’ wanner ‘ave fun, but not in thet way!
• Match: I, on the other hand, would love to let loose at a party!
• Pencil: ...Eh, ‘tis typical. Is Pen goin’ to be there? Not thet I care or anythin’.
• Match: Yeah! Omg, I forgot to tell you guys, he’s coming with his new girlfriend!

[Pencil freezes, her eyes turning white]

• Bubble: Ooh, Pen’s got a new goirlfriend? Who is it?
• Match: Rose!

[Zoom into Pencil’s head, where Rose appears. Match’s voice is heard repeating Rose’s name.]

• Pencil: ...Can’e repeat thet?
• Match: Pen’s girlfriend is Rose!
• Pencil: I’m sorry?
• Match: [slowly] Pen’s girlfriend is Rose?
• Pencil: Pardon me?
• Match: Pen’s...girlfriend...is...Rooooose.
• Pencil: Say thet again?
• Bubble: Um... Pencil, are you okoy?
• Match: Yeah, is your reciever, like, broken or something?
• Pencil: See you at the party.

[She hangs up.]

• Match: Hello?
• Bubble: Moiatch, you can’t say that oifter she hung up!
• Match: I was just, like, checking. And besides, everyone does it!

Pencil’s house

• Pencil: I can’t believe this! Me Pen’s taken by thet pretty, prickly red-petaled skank!

[Enter Estigua]

• Estigua: Penelopé, por que você está chorando?
• Pencil: I don’t wanna talk about’e!
• Estigua: Acabei de voltar da mercearia. Você quer que um pouco de pão o anime?
• Pencil: Mom, no piece of bread will cheer me up now!
• Estigua: Por quê?
• Pencil: Pen is dating this little piece of European poop!
• Estigua: As pessoas não namoram para sempre. Ou eles tiveram muito tempo juntos, ou eles simplesmente não sabem o que estão fazendo um com o outro.
• Pencil: But mum, they’ve had plenty o’ time toge’er! Pen spoke ter’er on the phone fer 5 hours! ‘E’s clearlé in love with’er!
• Estigua: 5 horas não é suficiente!
• Pencil: Ar’ee kiddin’? 5 hours is drastic!
• Estigua: Por um dia, é. Há quanto tempo eles se conheceram?
• Pencil: I dunno, Match told me, like, two’er three days! [beat] Wait a minute. Thet’s a...suspiciously short amount o’ time.
• Estigua: Posso já dizer que o relacionamento será um fracasso.
• Pencil: Omg, thanks mum! [she kisses Esigua one the cheek] I think I’m-a startin’ o’ put the pieces toge’er! [Exit]

[Enter Pencil again]

• Pencil: I’ll still be in me room, thinking...and crying.

Tiger Lily’s house

• Match: Omg, like, when’s Pencil coming?
• Bubble: Oi think she’s just toiking a loiong time to get ready!
• Match: I like, don’t think that’s the case. She suddenly hung up on us this morning. Do you think she might not be, like, coming?
• Bubble: Don’t get your hoiopes down, she said she’ll see us at the poirty.
• Match: You’re right. Pencil never misses a party!

[A person is thrown out the door]

• Bubble: Ouch!
• Match: This party is crazy! I can already tell that she’ll totally love it!
• Tiger Lily: Hey, girls! Ignore that. Invitations, please?
• Bubble and Match: Here.

[They give their invitations]

• Tiger Lily: Cool. Bubble, guard the door for a minute please.
• Bubble: Wait, whoit?

[She quickly pulls Match in]

• Match: Woah!
• Tiger Lily: Match, did you do this?
• Match: Do what?
• Tiger Lily: You know what I’m talking about, bro...sephine.
• Match: What was that?
• Tiger Lily: I just have a lot of brothers.
• Match: Are they hot?
• Tiger Lily: Well yeah, actually— We’re getting off topic. Match, did you manage to get Rose with Pen?
• Match: Like, yeah. I didn’t really care if it was going to like, work or not, because Rose isn’t really my friend, but it did somehow!
• Tiger Lily: Really? You didn’t even blackmail Pen or convince him to say yes? You didn’t do some kinda witchcraft where he just magically falls in love with Rose?
• Bubble: [from outside] Uh, guys, the croiowds getting impoitient!

[They ignore her]

• Match: Um, like, of course I didn’t! Especially that last one.
• Tiger Lily: Yeah, ‘cause this whole time Tulip and I thought you were doing it for your brother when we found out that it was your plan that worked!
• Match: You really wanna know why I did it? Because Rose told me about her “true” crush!
• Tiger Lily: What!? [sigh] Rose just can’t keep her mouth shut, can she? You haven’t told anyone else, right?
• Match: Nope!
• Tiger Lily: Good. Keep it that way.
• Bubble: [from outside] Toiger Lily! Oire you doine?
• Tiger Lily: Yep! Coming!

[Exit Tiger Lily]

[Enter Bubble]

• Bubble: Whoit was that about?
• Match: Like, nothing to be concerned about, Bubble!

[Enter Pencil]

• Pencil: Sorry I’m late!
• Match: Omg, where have you been? Not that we were worried or anything.
• Bubble: Match was.
• Match: I wasn’t!
• Pencil: Wote’er. Where’s the couple e’ryone’s been talkin’ o’?
• Match: Yeah...where are they...?

[Enter Pen and Rose, holding hands]

• Pen: Wow, this place is packed! There’s a snack table, a dance floor, great music, and there’s Pencil!
• Rose: [staring at Delphinium] What was that last one?
• Pen: Nothing!
• Rose and Pen: Can we go to [ Delphinium · The alliance ]?
• Rose: Um, Pen, can we go to Delphinium first? Like, together?
• Pen: Why?
• Rose: Well, because...I’m partners with him...for a project, and, um...I need to speak to him. But you need to be there because I’m...shy?
• Pen: Fine, make it quick. But can we go to the alliance after? As in, we? Because...I’m shy too!
• Rose: Pen, I’m pretty sure you’re part of that alliance. How can you be shy around them?
• Pen: Pffft, its ‘cause I have a new girlfriend! So now I’m shy!
• Rose: Then go to them without me!
• Pen: But we’re a couple!

[Pan to the other side of the room, where Pencil, Bubble and Match are squatting behind a table]

• Match: Pencil, like, what are we doing again?
• Pencil: [looking through binoculars] We’re spyin’ on ‘em ’acos Pen’s part o’ our alliance.
• Bubble: But whoy? I mean like, why when thoi’re doing just fine?
• Pencil: Shh, I need ter ‘ear wot they’re sayin’.

[Pan to Pen's side of the room]

• Rose: [to Delphinium] So, as you can see, this is my boyfriend Pen! Doesn’t it just make you realize how lucky he is to have me?

[Pan back to Pencil]

• Pencil: Ugh, she’s showin’ off.

[Match and Bubble glare at her]

• Match: No, we demand answers!
• Bubble: Yeah!
• Pencil: [taking off binoculars] A’ight, fine. Methinks thet they ain’t a real couple. Rose’s doin’ it fer popularité!
• Match: [sweating] W-what do you mean?
• Pencil: Think about’e! They met, like, on Thursday an’ now they’re datin’, an’ Rose’s puttin’ Pen an’ ‘erself on display! Ain’t thet a little strange?
• Bubble: They did toilk for foive hours, though.
• Match: Yeah! Seriously, their relationship is like, completely normal! Btw, Penc, everyone does it!
• Pencil: Wot’n’ale’r ye talkin’ about, m8? Nobody becomes a couple after—
• Tiger Lily: [on microphone] Testing, testing... is this thing on?
• Tulip: What do you think?
• Tiger Lily: Oh, everyone’s looking at me. Okay! Hey guys! I’m Tiger Lily—
• Tulip: And I’m Tulip!
• Tiger Lily: —And as the hostesses of this party, we’d like to start off with a warm welcome to everyone that we invited!
• Tulip: We will be listing the many fun activities to make this party totally last!
• Tiger Lily: But first, we want to congratulate Rose and her new boyfriend, Pen!

[A random spotlight shines on Rose and Pen. Most people applaud and some people groan, including Pencil.]

• Tiger Lily: And now I’m giving the mic to Rose. [she quickly hands her the microphone]
• Rose: W-well, uuuh, thank you all for coming to my friend’s p-party! And I am very blessed to have a handsome boyfriend, which is right here! Beside me!

[Tulip, Tiger Lily, and Match facepalm]

• Rose: Pen, would you like to say something?
• Pen: Um—
• Rose: Great! Here! [she holds the microphone in front of him]
• Pen: But you— I didn’t even— [sigh] Let me just say this. I’m very happy to be spending this party with my beautiful European girlfriend. She is beautiful in many ways, but I also like her for who she is. She can be bilingual and have a barely understandable English accent, and I would still love her the same.

[Rose blushes]

• Rose: Thanks, baby.

[Everyone else awws and Tulip takes the microphone]

• Bubble: Wow.
• Match: Yeah, Penc-Penc. Wow. Doesn’t the sheer realness of it make you go, like, wow?
• Pencil: Thet...thet was beautiful! I thin’ I’m gonna cry!
• Match: So, are you gonna like, ignore them now?
• Pencil: ‘Course not!
• Tulip: Okay everyone, we are going to start off with our first activity!
• Pen: Which is? See, I’m filling in for Eraser. [looks around] Who, thankfully, is not here.

[The gang of 8 kick the door open]

• Pen: [sigh] Me and my big mouth.
• Blocky: Ha! You losers can’t hide from us!
• Eraser: Wait a second, is that Pen?

[Pen hides behind Rose]

• Rose: Uhh... Pfft, nooooo...?
• Tiger Lily: Omg, do I have to kick you out again? Security!

[Security literally throws them out]

• Tulip: As I was saying... Our first activity for this party is going to be... [she pulls out a paper from a bag] ...Seven minutes in heaven!

[Everyone gasps. They all talk at once.]

• Rose: Wait, what? [to Pen] Excuse me for a second. [she grabs Tulip and Tiger Lily and pulls them to a corner]
• Pen: [to himself] Oh, no...

[Back at the table]

• Match: Oh, yes.
• Pencil: Wot? Wot’s seven minutes in ‘eaven?
• Bubble: Yeah, whoit?

[Match whispers something in their ear. Pencil and Bubble look at each other, shocked and worried.]

[Meanwhile, at the corner]

• Rose: What are you doing? This isn’t part of the plan!
• Tiger Lily: It is!
• Tulip: This is still a party, you know. We extend to make it fun. That way, we’ll be popular!
• Rose: And you didn’t tell me?
• Tiger Lily: Sorry, we forgot!
• Rose: [hyperventilating] Oh my- oh my gosh, what comes after?
• Tulip: What?
• Rose: What did you plan after this?
• Tulip: Uhh...
• Tiger Lily: ...Nothing?

[Rose’s eye twitches]

• Rose: You know what, I am done. We’re going to be doing things my way from now on. [she takes the mic] Attention, everyone!

[Everyone stops chattering]

• Rose: So, people, if you don’t know how seven minutes in heaven works, it’s a game where two people are picked randomly to go into a closet together. They get to do whatever pleases themselves, if you know what I mean.

[Several people raise their hands]

• Rose: No, you don’t fight to the death or do anything violent. You make out and stuff like that.

[Every one’s hands go down. They murmur.]

• Rose: Now, unless you’re Pen, you don’t have to play this game if you don’t want to.
• Pen: What?
• Rose: [whispering] Trust me. [aloud] Here are the rules again. None of you may be harmed. You must stay in there for seven minutes, no more or less. To everyone that wants to participate, put a paper slip with your name on it in this bowl. A person will pick a name out of the bowl, and the person with that name will go with them into the closet. [she puts the mic on the table]

[The crowd murmurs again]

• Tulip: Wait, so...you basically just went along with our plan.
• Rose: You’ll see.
• Tiger Lily: What are you up to?
• Rose: Like I said, you’ll see.

[Enter Pen]

• Pen: Hey Rose, can you just tell me what the heck is going o—

[Someone pulls Pen out of their sight]

• Pen: Pencil?
• Pencil: Aye, ‘tis me. I ‘ave to tell’ee somethin’ important.
• Pen: Is it that you’re jealous? T-that I’m not spending as much time with the alliance anymore, I mean.
• Pencil: Wot—well—thet’s not—No! Listen, Pen, ye can’t trust Rose! She’s usin’ee! She jus’ wants to be popular! Can’t’ee see thet?
• Pen: I knew it!
• Pencil: See?
• Pen: So you are jealous! We can talk about it if you want.
• Pencil: [facepalm] Ye know what, jus’ let Rose keep on usin’ee. But don’ say I di’n’t warn’ee. [she backs away and disappears into the shadows]

[Enter Pencil]

• Pencil: Also, I’h’ain’t jealous! [Exit]
• Pen: Phew. Barely handled that... ... [sigh] I should really tell her the truth.

[Enter Rose]

• Rose: Pen, thank god, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. C’mon, the game’s about to start!
• Pen: Already?
• Rose: Yes, and I wrote down your name for you. Don’t say anything. I know you’re confused and probably angry, but I just need to do this. [she brings him to a group of people standing in a circle formation] Anyways, I’ll go first. [she puts her hand in the bowl of paper slips]
• Match: So, Pencil, Bubble, did you put your name in?

Pencil and Bubble: Nope!

• Pencil: I jus’ hope to god she’h’ain’t gonna pick—
• Rose: [she pulls out Pen’s name] Oh hey, would you look at that. It’s Pen!

[Pencil lunges at her, but Match and Bubble hold her back]

• Pencil: You cheatin’ bitch! You were lookin’ into the bowl! You were ‘apposed to pick a name randomly!
• Rose: Well, Pencil, I wouldn’t wanna make out with someone else with my boyfriend knowing. Anyways, into he closet we go! Tulip, Tiger Lily, guard the door.

[Rose pulls Pen into the closet]

• Pencil: Girls, lemme go! Does’ee even realize thet this is unfair!?
• Match: But we don’t want this to get...[she eyes Tulip and Tiger Lily]...ugly.

In the closet

• Pen: Okay, now I’m really mad. Rose, you are a terrible girlfriend! I didn’t sign up for this! You’re always pulling me to places where I don’t want to be! Quit being possessive and let me out of here!
• Rose: Look, we aren’t here to make out!
• Pen: What? That’s great, because I have something to tell you.
• Rose: Yeah, you’re breaking up with me.
• Pen: Well, yeah, but—
• Rose: Just listen. I—
• Pen: No, you listen! I’ve been hiding something, okay!? I’ve been hiding something since we became a thing. You deserve to know this. I’ve been using you...to make someone jealous. I wasn’t sure at first, but now I’m certain that this isn’t the way to get the girlfriend you want. You have to earn her through courage and honesty. But most importantly, it takes time. And charm, I guess. So...yeah. That’s why I have to break up with you. I’m sorry.

[Rose starts laughing quietly]

• Pen: Um...are you laughing?

[Rose starts to laugh hysterically]

• Rose: That is so funny!
• Pen: Are you going yandere on me? I’ve seen it in manga. Not that I’m a comic nerd or anything, but if you don’t know what that is—
• Rose: [laughing] No, no! It’s just that—[deep breath] I was going to say the exact same thing!
• Pen: ...Really?
• Rose: Yes! Okay okay okay, now it’s my turn to talk. The reason I brought you in here with me was because they’re always watching me! My friends, Tulip and Tiger Lily, came up with this plan. If they didn’t go to such ridiculous lengths with it, then we wouldn’t be in this mess! I don’t even know why I went along with it. So it all started in the cafeteria. I wanted to be with the man of my dreams, but they wanted to be popular! Their solution was for me to date a popular guy, you, to gain popularity and to make, y’know, him, jealous of me. And then I told Match about it, and I did what she told me to do before you went to my house, which was to cleverly bring up a cool way to ask you out. And now we’re here, at Tiger Lily’s party, in a closet! So I should be the one apologizing. I’m sorry that I...met you?
• Pen: Wait, so basically all of the interactions we had were on purpose?
• Rose: Not...exactly. I’m a terrible actress when I’m nervous. I can’t believe you didn’t suspect a thing!
• Pen: Oh, be quiet.

[Awkward silence]

• Pen: Nevermind, talk to me! Why would you tell Match of all people?
• Rose: I had to tell someone. Bottling up all these lies is so exhausting.
• Pen: Oh my god, I feel the same way...kind of. Wow, I can tell you’re a great person.
• Rose: You’re a great person too! Thanks for telling me the truth.
• Pen: Dude, I should thank you! You brought me here for the sole purpose of talking to me! Speaking of great people...who’s your crush? I promise I’ll keep it a secret.
• Rose: Seriously!? You have to tell me yours first.
• Pen: Rose, we both know that you’re terrible at keeping secrets.
• Rose: Um, I’m only bad at keeping secrets if I care about them too much. Your crush isn’t going to pressure me that much because, well, your crush is your problem.
• Pen: You sure?
• Rose: 100%. I have never told anyone’s crushes to other people before. A funny thing is that, I did kind of start to develop feelings for you. They were tiny moments though. How embarrassing.
• Pen: Oh, it’s no big deal. Many people have a crush on me, and it’s extremely obvious. I actually enjoyed the time we spent together.
• Rose: Same. But you know, I think I already know who your crush is anyways...
• Pen: I think I know who yours is too.
• Rose: Wanna say it at the same time?
• Pen: Okay!
• Rose and Pen: [ Pencil · Delphinium ]! Am I right? Yeah! Oh, jinx!

[They both laugh]

• Pen: It became extremely obvious when I saw the way you looked at him.
• Rose: Yeah, also, you’re pretty awkward around Pencil! It makes it painfully obvious.
• Pen: Are you sure you’re not gonna tell her?
• Rose: Yeah, because you’re gonna tell her yourself!
• Pen: I hope you find the courage to tell Delphinium how you feel too.
• Rose: Thanks... So... what do you wanna do now?
• Pen: Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
• Rose: Let’s say it together again!
• Rose and Pen: We should [ make · break ] out! Wait, what was that? I asked you first! Jinx! Ugh, forget it!

Outside the closet

• Match: Like, don’t let go, Bubble!
• Bubble: I’m troying!
• Pencil: If’ee two would jus—
• Tiger Lily: Girl, just give it up already! I’m pretty sure they don’t want their first steamy make-out session to be interrupted!
• Tulip: Yeah, what she said!

[At this point, Pencil’s face is red]

• Pencil: THET DOES’E!

[She finally breaks free and sprints to the closet. Just before she reaches it, Pen and Rose open the closet. Pencil immediately stops herself.]

• Pencil: Ah!
• Tulip: [looking at watch] Wait a minute...
• Tiger Lily: It hasn’t even been 7 minutes yet!

[Pen clears his throat]

• Pen: We have an announcement to make. Me and Rose are now officially...
• Rose: Broken up.

[Everyone gasps]

• Tulip and Tiger Lily: WHAT!?
• Pencil: [jumping in the air] YES! [everyone looks at her] Wot? There ain’t nothin’ wrong with bein’ happy thet everythin’s back to normal!

THE END