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(Undo revision 2169 by Yterbium (talk))
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{{Newepin|After seeing how reliant on technology the family are, Citlali decides to make a change for the worse}}
 
   
==Tuesday, March 11, 2014==
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{{Newepin|it's the first day of school for the younger kids and Pencil feels uneasy. Meanwhile, Pen accidentally finds something useful for the episode. (This episode chronologically, in regards to the school episodes, follows {{ep|Not Sco Much Viller}})}}
{{Scene|After school|Everyone happily returns home.}}
 
*{{d|p}}: Oi, kids, 'ow was school?
 
[''Spoken almost at the same time.'']
 
*{{d|dj}}: The Inventing Club raised enough money to buy a new computer!
 
*{{d|sal}}: I stole some random nerd's phone!
 
*{{d|jav}}: Yeah, the nerd being ''me''.
 
*{{d|sal}}: Well, it was random.
 
*{{d|xim}}: At school I tried on new electric glasses for our class of "optic safety".
 
*{{d|yar}}: In English we learned the dangers of cyber bullying!
 
*{{d|zor}}: And I found the good in the evil!
 
*{{d|qr}}: We had nothing to do, so we watched Aunt Match all day on her phone! Did you know she's on her 36th boyfriend? And that's just this year!
 
*{{d|cil}}: Goo! Goo! Goo!
 
*{{d|p}}: Woah woah woah, hold on. I 'aven' got time to reac' ter e'erythin' now e'en though I've lived with'ee so long thet I understood e'erythin' ye lot says. Let's talk o'er 'e h'a' the dinner table, yeah?
 
{{Scene|Dinner|Everyone is on a phone; the younger kids are sharing a tablet. Silence prevails.}}
 
*{{d|p}}: Wot'n'ale's goin' on 'ere?
 
*{{d|sal}}: Mum, we're reading!
 
*{{d|p}}: Readin' a wot?
 
*{{d|dj}}: It's the Mandatory School Paper.
 
*{{d|p}}: Oh. When I was there we got a [[School Paper|school paper]] too. 'Xcep' 'e was a real bein', always a-yellin' at us to get a copy of 'e. I always wondered wot 'appened ter'e.
 
[''Cut to the mall.'']
 
*{{d|jegging}}: Alright, Mr Fat Ghost, it says your only experience with working was in a publishing house for the Nairobi School System. You are the perfect candidate for Fashion 4 Words.
 
[''Cut back home.'']
 
*{{d|p}}: Somethin's wrong 'ere … [''she counts her children''] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 … Where are Saye'n Lallie?
 
[''Enter'' '''Saye''' ''and'' '''Citlali''' ''as she speaks. Citlali is carrying a large robot.'']
 
*{{d|cit}}: Hey, we're home!
 
*{{d|p}}: Saye, Citlali, wot're'ee doin' 'ome late?
 
*{{d|pj}}: I'm in charge of the class robot! Isn't that right, Bloodguts?
 
*{{d|bloodguts}}: No you are not.
 
*{{d|pj}}: Shut up, Bloodguts!
 
*{{d|bloodguts}}: Yes I am open for business?
 
*{{d|pj}}: Okay, let's firs' talk about the name "Bloodguts".
 
*{{d|bloodguts}}: No, I want to talk about the pyramids.
 
*{{d|pj}}: I'm going to my room and tweet about my horrible ubutu time! And there's going to be a lot of exclamation marks as well!
 
[''She runs up to her room.'']
 
*{{d|p}}: Wow. She seems upset.
 
*{{d|cit}}: She made me carry Bloodguts{{em}}
 
*{{d|bloodguts}}: Who built them?
 
*{{d|cit}}: I mean, the robot, all the way home!
 
*{{d|p}}: I'll go 'ave a steadily moral quibble with'a.
 
*{{d|cit}}: Yeah, mum, you do your quibbling inelectrically, haha!
 
[''Pencil's phone beeps.'']
 
*{{d|p}}: Omg, TWUO is back!
 
*{{d|cit}}: You mean TWOW{{em}}
 
*{{d|p}}: No, me game thet Aunt Match recommended to me! ''Tower Warders Under Orders'' requires ultimate skill to be a fair maiden 'o rescues the bodyguards o' the Crown Jewels of the British, thereby reversin' the traditional gender roles o' the man savin' the woman! It updates e'ery two hours, but'e gives me a better opportunity acos, well, would'ee rather a game update a little all the time er a game update a lot o'er long periods o' time? [''she looks, and Citlali has gone''] An' she's gone.
 
{{Scene|Girls' room|Citlali cleans all of her sisters' beds.}}
 
*{{d|cit}}: I can't believe I have to do this.
 
*{{d|pj}}: You'd better believe it, because I'm so mad! Stupid robot.
 
[''Citlali hears the door faintly open.'']
 
*{{d|cit}}: Dad's home!
 
{{Scene|Downstairs|Pen sees that nobody notices his arrival.}}
 
*{{d|d}}: Anyone here?
 
*{{d|cit}}: Daddy! [''running down''] Ladies and gentlemen, the only sane person is here!
 
*{{d|d}}: Sane person? [''seeing the people of the house all on electronics''] I see you have a point!
 
*{{d|cit}}: Dad, they're zombies. Nobody's going to do anything at all and they're just going to be on their phones!
 
*{{d|d}}: In that case … [''gets his phone out'']
 
*{{d|cit}}: Noooooooooooooooo!
 
*{{d|d}}: Sorry, Lallie, but you know what Mum says about peer pressure.
 
*{{d|cit}}: Phone zombies, the lot of you!
 
[''Nobody notices nor takes offence. She goes upstairs, where she bumps into Saye.'']
 
*{{d|pj}}: Oi, watch it! I just lost the list of all my PioPio followers!
 
*{{d|cit}}: Calm down, it's just a list!
 
[''Downstairs.'']
 
*{{d|p}}: [''not looking up''] How was your day, dear?
 
*{{d|d}}: Our work computers crashed so I couldn't work overtime enough, and now it's my job to do the monthly immigration reports. Also, Ximena, you have an eye appointment tomorrow so you'll have to miss school.
 
*{{d|xim}}: [''monotonously''] Aww, I mean yay.
 
{{Scene|Guest room|Citlali turns on the television and changes channels with each line of dialogue.}}
 
:'''TV Dad''': I don't understand what's wrong with being a family of Amazon warriors!
 
:'''TV Kid''': Mom #5, can you please pass the toilet plunger to Dad #32?
 
:'''TV Mum''': I can feel the moonlight ''pulsating'' against my King James Bible.
 
*{{d|cit}}: Wow, all of those weird families have their own TV shows. Woah, wait a minute!
 
==Wednesday, March 12, 2014==
 
{{Scene|Before school<!-- Play "Keel Row" in this scene. -->}}
 
*{{d|d}}: Alright, kids, have a good day!
 
*{{d|cit}}: Alright, dad!
 
*{{d|xim}}: Bye!
 
*{{d|pj}}: Why does Mona get to stay home from school and not me?
 
*{{d|p}}: She's got an eye appointmen' today.<ref>{{Komentari|There's no way Saye would be that nice on her ubutu.}}</ref>
 
[''General acclamation.'']
 
*{{d|d}}: So what did happen last night?
 
*{{d|p}}: I don' know, m8! The kids jus' came 'ome from school, Saye'n Citlali late, an' then we ate dinner an' fell asleep.
 
*{{d|d}}: It felt weird, as if we were in some kind of magical spell … [''he sees a flash of light''] Pencil!
 
*{{d|p}}: [''on her phone''] I'm sorry, but TWOA jus' updated itself an' this time, it's allowin' users to choose wot faces the guards 'ave, so guess 'o's face I'm a-usin'?
 
*{{d|d}}: William Shaft-ner?
 
*{{d|p}}: No, you! Don't'ee look good? I mean, sure'ee've got a beard, but I've [[Humanise Me!|seen us in 'uman form]] an' you're jus'{{em}}
 
*{{d|xim}}: Mummy, time to get ready for the eye doctor!
 
[''There is a knock on the door.'']
 
*{{d|p}}: I wonder 'o could thet be.
 
[''She opens the door.'']
 
*{{d|p}}: Hello.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Hello, stranger.
 
*{{d|d}}: Ma'am, if you're coming here just to try to convert me, I'll have you know that my family's been Jewish since before the Charleston!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: No no no, I'm not here because of another religion. I'm here to … well … get to the bigs. How would you and your family like to be stars of a TV show?
 
*{{d|d}}: [''shocked''] Yes!
 
*{{d|p}}: Why so certain, m8?
 
*{{d|d}}: Well, I feel like the world needs to see one thing … and that's me!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: I'm glad you support my offer, and now it's time for me to call my boss.
 
[''She gets out her phone.'']
 
*{{d|d}}: Er, excuse me, but are you, by any chance, part of that [[Music Video Madness|dumb koala]] company?
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Why, no! I work for "A Koala Walks Dumbly", but I can see why you're worried.
 
*{{d|d}}: Yeah, the director's director [[Zayde's Hootin' Arrival|tried to flirt with my daughter.]]
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Don't worry, because he got arrested in some bar incident and management has changed.
 
*{{d|p}}: Funny 'ow things get around, y'know. [''She walks away.'']
 
*{{d|d}}: What are you doing?
 
*{{d|p}}: I'm a-gettin' a call from Match fer somethin', an' I didn' wan' ter alienate'ee by 'a'in' me an' this fine door lady.
 
[''Ximena goes downstairs.'']
 
*{{d|xim}}: Woah, who's at the door?
 
*{{d|d}}: This is … do I know your name?
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Yes, my name is Telecam Era.
 
*{{d|xim}}: Omg! I know you!
 
*{{d|d}}: You do?
 
*{{d|xim}}: Yeah, I always see your name before all of those TV shows on the Waizinyi Channel!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: That's because I make the shows.
 
*{{d|xim}}: OMG! [''she faints'']
 
*{{d|d}}: Sorry, she faints when she gets starstruck.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Good because I have to still make that call.
 
[''Pen looks at her strangely for saying that Ximena's fainting was good.'']
 
{{Scene|Alternating between the kitchen and living room|Pencil and Telecam make different calls.}}
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Hello, sir?
 
*{{d|p}}: Omg, Match, 'appy anniversary, luv!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Yes, I have the family.
 
*{{d|p}}: Wot, o' course I ne'er forgot thet the day you an' Eraser met was this Friday; Pen remembers the day too!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: What did you say, sir? I can't understand you.
 
*{{d|p}}: Sure, 'twasn' a good one fer 'im, but still.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Oh, what distinguishes them from the rest!
 
*{{d|p}}: Aye, wot's'e?
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Yes, sir, I will ask them as soon as they sign the contract.
 
*{{d|p}}: O' couse, you can come o'er 'ere any time.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Bye.
 
*{{d|p}}: Bye!
 
{{Scene|School|Saye is on her phone}}
 
*{{d|pj}}: No, I can't believe what I'm hearing!
 
*{{d|solarion}}: Excuse me, but Pencil, are you talking on your phone … ''in class?''
 
*{{d|pj}}: Yeah, what're ye going to do about it?
 
[''Cut to a lunch detention.'']
 
*{{d|pj}}: Screw this place!
 
[''She ditches the detention.'']
 
{{Scene|Club meeting|All members of school clubs have to meet in Golf Ball's throne room for a meeting where Golf Ball assesses their time use.}}
 
*{{d|gb}}: Now, Mr. Quispe, your club is up next.
 
[''The Inventing Club go to the headmistress.'']
 
*{{d|gb}}: Be quick; I'm timing you!
 
*{{d|lego}}: Headmistress Ball, our club is the Inventing Club.
 
*{{d|gb}}: What do you do in Inventing Club?
 
*{{d|lego}}: We make things.
 
*{{d|gb}}: You recently purchased a computer for your club, is that right?
 
*{{d|lego}}: Yes, señora, it is.
 
*{{d|gb}}: And what is the name of your club?
 
*{{d|lego}}: Inventing Club.
 
[''Meanwhile, in the background.'']
 
*{{d|dj}}: Hello, Eisenhower's, I'd like to place an order.
 
*{{d|sharpener}}: You're taking a call now? And for pizza?
 
*{{d|dj}}: Hey, man, I've got to eat.
 
*{{d|map}}: What, that's so ridiculous! You know, unless you order for me too.
 
*{{d|shieldy}}: Tell the person I'd like an anchory and pineapple pizza!
 
*{{d|map}}: That's honestly really disgusting. Who puts pineapple on pizza?
 
*{{d|sharpener}}: The people of Hawaii do.
 
*{{d|map}}: Cool, where's that? [''he looks at himself through a mirror''] Oh, wait.
 
*{{d|dj}}: Yes, for the third time, you've got our order correct.
 
[''With Lego and Golf Ball.'']
 
*{{d|gb}}: Sorry not sorry, but you have to choose a name if you want to get out of my office.
 
*{{d|lego}}: I don't really know anymore, but since we got that computer I guess we've went from the guys who make to the guys to code.
 
*{{d|gb}}: Really?
 
*'''The other boys''': '''''YES, THAT'S RIGHT!'''''<ref>They were talking to the pizza guy.</ref>
 
*{{d|gb}}: '''''YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL!''''' Anyways, I'm going to deny you the special privileges.
 
*{{d|lego}}: What? Why?
 
*{{d|gb}}: For one thing, your club has existed for 124 days ...
 
*{{d|shieldy}}: Hey, that's [http://www2.stetson.edu/~efriedma/numbers.html the smallest number where its first 3 multiples contain the digit 2]!
 
*{{d|map}}: And you say your math level is Grade 4.
 
*{{d|gb}}: Let me finish! Your club has existed for 124 days, and there have been no females present. What have you got to say about that?
 
*{{d|lego}}: We don't really think of it as a club, more like a friend gathering.
 
*{{d|dj}}: Yeah, it's not like we don't let other people in.
 
*{{d|sharpener}}: They just don't know about us because we're kind of unpopular.
 
*{{d|gb}}: Then un-unpopular yourself! And if you don't have any female members by Thursday, I'm cancelling your club!
 
*{{d|shieldy}}: So, we can still be friends together.
 
*{{d|gb}}: And I'm taking away your computer!
 
*{{d|lego}}: On second thought, we'd better find some more people.
 
{{Scene|Home|Pencil and Pen are signing numerous contracts.}}
 
*{{d|p}}: 'Ow many contracts mus' we sign, m8?
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Only the 124 left.
 
*{{d|p}}: 124!? Ain' thet the number where{{em}}
 
*{{d|d}}: Penc, you want us all to end up on the boob tube, eh?
 
*{{d|p}}: Boob tube? Really?
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Are you even reading the contracts?
 
*{{d|p}}: O' course not! I mean, it's like the terms of use when y' go on a new website, no one reads 'em, silly.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: O-''kay!''
 
*{{d|xim}}: Mummy, can we go to my eye doctor now?
 
*{{d|p}}: In a minute … [''going through the contracts''] Or ten.
 
*{{d|d}}: I've got to be at work before someone notices I'm gone. See ya!
 
*{{d|p}}: Bye, me love!
 
[''They kiss goodbye. Exit'' '''Pen'''.]
 
*{{d|xim}}: Bleh!
 
*{{d|p}}: Oh, you'll get thet one day.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: You're funny! Mind if I video you?
 
*{{d|p}}: Er, not before the kids!
 
*{{d|xim}}: What the heck?
 
*{{d|p}}: Don' worry, Mona, I'll take'ee to th' eye doctor.
 
*{{d|xim}}: Goodie!
 
{{Scene|Biology class}}
 
*{{d|tally}}: … and this is why humans here usually live around 60 years old.
 
*{{d|pj}}: Yo, Mark! [''stands up'']
 
*{{d|tally}}: My name is Mr. Tally, Ms. Schreiber.
 
*{{d|jav}}: Yeah, Saye!<ref>In case you didn't know (before a certain date), Javier is smart enough to be in Saye's biology.</ref>
 
*{{d|pj}}: Shh! It's bad enough we have to sit next to each other.
 
*{{d|tally}}: [''sigh''] What do you need?
 
*{{d|pj}}: I don't need to know the human biological systems.
 
*{{d|tally}}: It's the education system that's making me do it, and besides you weren't called on, so sit down please.
 
*{{d|pj}}: [''starts to cry''] Okay, I will!
 
*{{d|fierovio}}: <small>Psst … Saverio …</small>
 
*{{d|jav}}: <small>Shh, we shan't speak during the teacher's lesson!</small>
 
*{{d|fierovio}}: <small>But this is ''molto importante''!</small>
 
*{{d|jav}}: <small>Okay!</small>
 
*{{d|fierovio}}: <small>Out of my pen ink; there is a way in which you can ... uh ... </small> [''points to his cap'']
 
*{{d|jav}}: <small>Of course! But make sure that nobody can see it.</small>
 
*{{d|fierovio}}: <small>{{lang-m|It.|Certamente!|Of course!}}</small>
 
*{{d|jav}}: <small>Here goes.</small> [''he takes a bottle of ink from his backpack and fills up his pen'']
 
*{{d|fierovio}}: <small>{{lang-m|It.|Grazie.|Thank you.}}</small>
 
*{{d|jav}}: <small>No 'lem!</small>
 
*{{d|fierovio}}: <small>'Lem?</small>
 
*{{d|jav}}: <small>Isn't that short for problem in this neck of the woods?</small>
 
*{{d|fierovio}}: <small>I know, I'm not from here ... and what is a neck in the woods?</small>
 
*{{d|jav}}: <small>Oh, that's{{em}}</small>
 
*{{d|pj}}: If you both don't shut up about slang of the mid-2010s I'm going to{{em}}
 
*{{d|tally}}: Saye, what did I say about talking while I talk?
 
*{{d|pj}}: You didn't say anything about that … "It's the education system that's making me do it, and besides you weren't called on, so sit down please." I specifically heard you talking about standing in the middle of class, not talking.
 
*'''The whole class''': Ooh!
 
*{{d|chocolatey}}: [''on the other side of the room''] You go, girl!
 
*{{d|tally}}: Yes, Chocolatey, thanks for that. You go, girl.
 
*{{d|pj}}: What?
 
*{{d|tally}}: To the Headmistress's office.
 
*{{d|pj}}: No, why?
 
*{{d|jav}}: He said "go", did you not hear?
 
[''Exit'' '''Saye''' ''angrily.'']
 
*{{d|tally}}: What was that?
 
*{{d|chocolatey}}: She's just mad because she's on{{em}}
 
*{{d|jav}}: Okay, Chocolatey, no need to state the details!
 
*{{d|fierovio}}: [''to Perdita''] ''Eh, Perdita, ho qualcuno che può riempire le nostre penne per noi! E gratis questa volta!''<ref>{{lang|It.|Hey, Perdita, I have someone who can refill our pens for us! And for free this time!}}</ref>
 
*{{d|perdita}}: ''È questo per reale? Aspetta, ho intenzione di provare.''<ref>{{lang|It.|And this is for real? Wait, I'm going to try.}}</ref> Me, Saverio'm sorry, but you can fill up my pen too? I need to write some notes.
 
*{{d|jav}}: Of course, Perdita!
 
[''He does the same thing.'']
 
*{{d|perdita}}: ''Grazie!''
 
*{{d|jav}}: <small>Wow! For the first time in history, I'm actually popular!</small>
 
{{Scene|Eye doctor|Dr. Lens examines Ximena's eyes as Pencil and Cil watch.}}
 
*{{d|lens}}: Ximena Schreiber, try to see if you can read all of the letters.
 
*{{d|xim}}: Got it. Wait, do I need a helmet first?
 
*{{d|lens}}: Nope! All that you need to do is read.
 
*{{d|xim}}: Yay! [''reading''] E …
 
*{{d|lens}}: Next row.
 
*{{d|xim}}: M … M …
 
*{{d|lens}}: Next row.
 
*{{d|xim}}: A … W … A …
 
*{{d|lens}}: Next row.
 
*{{d|xim}}: T … S … O … N.
 
*{{d|lens}}: Now what about this character? [''points to a very complicated-looking Chinese character'']
 
*{{d|xim}}: I can't read that, sorry.
 
*{{d|p}}: Oh, thet's the symbol fer'm biangbiang noodles!
 
*{{d|lens}}: [''laughs''] That was a joke, she needn't not read that, only the adults have to. Your daughter's vision is perfect!
 
*{{d|p}}: 'Ear thet, Mona, yer vision's perfect!
 
*{{d|xim}}: Thank you, Dr. Lens! Wait … does that mean I don't get glasses?
 
*{{d|lens}}: Of course not, you don't need them!
 
*{{d|xim}}: Oh.
 
*{{d|p}}: It's okay, Mona, one o' yer brothers er sisters may be worse than'ee. [''to the doctor''] Starts with J an' ends in Avier, if'ee knows wot I mean.
 
*{{d|lens}}: Well, even through your eyesight is perfect, there are still glasses you can try on for fun or fashion, for that matter.
 
*{{d|xim}}: Cool!
 
[''She runs to the glasses stands, picking out which glasses she wants.'']
 
*{{d|xim}}: No, no, no, no, no … definitely not.
 
*{{d|p}}: Find anythin'ee like?
 
*{{d|xim}}: I want the new fancy electric ones!
 
*{{d|lens}}: Oh, you mean the ones that answers your own voice and can take photographs and video things that you look at?
 
*{{d|xim}}: Yeah, those!
 
*{{d|lens}}: I'm sorry, but they don't come out until Friday.
 
*{{d|xim}}: No!
 
*{{d|p}}: Ah, no worries. Doctor, 'ow much do these new goggly innits cos'?
 
*{{d|lens}}: In Japan, currently they cost 80,000 yen.
 
*{{d|p}}: Doctor, we live in Kenya, an' we use a ''completely differen<nowiki>'</nowiki>'' currency.
 
*{{d|lens}}: In shillings that is … 80,000.
 
*{{d|p}}: Wot? [''to Ximena''] Don' worry, we can totally do thet.
 
*{{d|xim}}: But I want them now!
 
*{{d|p}}: Sorry, but it's jus' thet we've got to wait. 'Tis wot it's.
 
*{{d|lens}}: Thanks for visiting, Mrs. Schreiber. I shall be checking your vision, too, young one.
 
*{{d|cil}}: Goo!
 
{{Scene|Home|Pencil and Ximena arrive home, where Telecam's crew is setting up the home into the set of a TV show.}}
 
*{{d|p}}: Wot'n the wide world of examinations're goin' on 'ere?
 
*{{d|xim}}: There are more things happening than not happening!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: I'm glad you're noticing this … I'm transforming your house into the set of the new TV show!
 
*{{d|xim}}: There's going to be a show on the telly, and it's going to be shot at our house? Who's going to be in it?
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Why, you all are!
 
*{{d|p}}: It's true … all of us're goin' to be on a television show!
 
*{{d|xim}}: [''who is now jumping up and down''] A TV show, oh boy! I can't wait to tell the others!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: But before we get this thing started, I just need to tell you two things, and let me be blunt about it.
 
*{{d|p}}: Okay.
 
*{{d|xim}}: Careful, Ms. Era, my mum reacts to nearly everything!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: We found out that your house is infested{{em}}
 
*{{d|p}}: No! It can't be true! We'd better call an exterminator.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Hold it. Your house is actually infested with copyrighted material all over the place!
 
*{{d|p}}: An'?
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Do you ever watch reality shows where they blur out the names of the brands?
 
*{{d|p}}: Aye, why?
 
*{{d|telecam}}: They do that because it's not allowed to show products uncovered on the television for fear of being sued, so they cover it up.
 
*{{d|p}}: I see, so wot'r'ee goin' to do of'e? You can't blur out th' 'ole 'ouse!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Actually …
 
[''Sheets of translucent glass fall around the boundaries of the house.'']
 
*{{d|p}}: Wot'n'ale?
 
*{{d|telecam}}: We did blur out the whole house!
 
*{{d|p}}: Oh, wait until they see this …
 
*{{d|telecam}}: And this brings us to our next problem … All TV shows in [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinema_of_Kenya Riverwood] are, in some way, unique from each other. We can't have another family sitcom without any distinguishing characteristics around here, do you understand?
 
*{{d|p}}: No, I don'.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Well, Pencil, what would you say about your family that sets them apart from the rest of the families out here?
 
*{{d|p}}: Well …
 
[''The door opens, and seven of the kids return home. They stand, shocked at the new scene.'']
 
*{{d|dj}}: Woah!
 
*{{d|qr}}: Why are there cameras around the house?
 
*{{d|zor}}: What's with the ''camera?''
 
*{{d|jav}}: Okay, is it my vision or is the house going blurrier?
 
*{{d|sal}}: It's your vision, squidwomb.
 
*{{d|cit}}: No, Avi's right. I see it too. But what?
 
[''Telecam pulls Pencil aside.'']
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Are all of those children yours?
 
*{{d|p}}: Aye … I've got ten.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: That's just nonsense! I saw seven walk through the door just now, and you have Masonia and the baby with you.
 
*{{d|p}}: Aye, wot gives?
 
*{{d|telecam}}: That is nine children. Unless you have some sort of ghost child.
 
*{{d|p}}: Well, thet is jus' rude! Me eldes' daughter's … not 'ere. She's probably doin' somethin' rebellious.
 
[''Cut to after-school detention, where Saye is spray painting the classroom. Cut back home.'']
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Ooh, a rebellious older daughter! I'm already taking notes.
 
*{{d|p}}: On wot?
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Nothing actually, we producers just like drawing in air. Y'know, like it's a spelling bee of some sort. Anyways, if you have ten kids, you must consider yourself different from many families in Kenya, right?
 
*{{d|p}}: I wouldn' says differen', more like eccentric.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Interesting. You know that they've already done a show with a lot of children before.
 
*{{d|p}}: Really? Which one?
 
*{{d|telecam}}: 18 Kids and Counting … or is it 19, I can't remember when I last checked.
 
*{{d|p}}: Well, there's got to be somethin' distinguishable about us …
 
*{{d|telecam}}: I've got it! Your husband is Greek, right?
 
*{{d|p}}: Aye, well, to be more precise, 'e's Greek-Canadian-Kenyan.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Either way, you are different from him.
 
*{{d|p}}: Thet's true, but{{em}}
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Our show can have the first family whose parents are an interracial couple! It's getting to be a more prominent issue in Kenya, [http://www.nation.co.ke/lifestyle/saturday/Mixed-marriage-dynamics-/1216-1085612-12696rdz/index.html they say].
 
*{{d|p}}: Y'crazy? Wot's race got to do with'e … [''it echoes for some reason'']
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Oh, but we can't do that … they've already tried that on the Firey and Leafy show, which you may know as that ''Battle for Dream Island''.
 
*{{d|p}}: Wait, thet's it!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: What's it?
 
*{{d|p}}: We can be the show to show people wot our lives is like after BFDI!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: That does sound plausible in the context of the show. Many people are fans of Battle for Dream Island, and they never saw the completion of the sequel, so a spin-off series does sound popular. What do you think we should call it?
 
*{{d|p}}: Maybe I'll jus' ask fer permission from me 'usband, m8.
 
{{Scene|Guest room|Telecam has a chair set out for the children, who are already in queue by age.}}
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Alright, children, when you sit in the chair, tell me something about you that makes you you. You go first.
 
*{{d|dj}}: Hey, you know what makes ''me'' me? I really hate when people hang up the phone without saying goodbye. Everyone does it and I have no idea why!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Interesting … next!
 
*{{d|jav}}: I feel as if this question is pretty hard to understand. I mean, we come from some unknown location every hundred years, but my siblings and I have been synthesised after some people's deaths.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Wow … next!
 
*{{d|cit}}: I{{em}}
 
*{{d|p}}: [''getting out of the washroom''] Wot'n … y' got all the kids in queue! 'Ow'd'ee do thet? I can't e'en get'em to stay standin' fer a few seconds!
 
[''Flashback. All the kids are playing.'']
 
*{{d|telecam}}: '''''LINE UP IF YOU WANT ICE CREAM!'''''
 
[''Real life.'']
 
*{{d|cit}}: There was no ice cream.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Next!
 
*{{d|cit}}: But I didn't get to{{em}}
 
*{{d|telecam}}: '''''NEXT!'''''
 
[''Yaretzi goes to the seat.'']
 
*{{d|yar}}: What makes me … I think it's just the quality of being nice to people. Y'know, things like doing good deeds and eating once everyone gets to the table!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: [''groans''] Next!
 
*{{d|zor}}: Well, sugar, what makes me is being nice as well, just in a lady-like manner, like the way they did in the Southern United States, Alassippi, grits, farming! I'm like Yarisis here, but conceived 20 milliseconds newer, y'all!
 
[''Some people laugh.'']
 
*{{d|jav}}: That is the worst fake accent I've ever heard.
 
*{{d|zor}}: Up your{{em}} I mean, bless my heart!
 
*{{d|sal}}: The person who came next to you is not really that nice! She's a witch!
 
*{{d|zor}}: Lies, lies!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Then what do you like doing?
 
*{{d|sal}}: I love crushing my enemies with my bare hands!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Interesting … nice!
 
*{{d|xim}}: I love rainbows, butterflies, lollipops and unicorns!
 
*{{d|dj}}: You never told us that before.
 
*{{d|xim}}: Exactly.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Next!
 
*{{d|qr}}: I ''love'' my school! It's so fun and we even get to not learn but watch Auntie Match's love life!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Interesting … next!
 
*{{d|cil}}: Goo!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: And can you say anything other than that?
 
*{{d|cil}}: Goo!
 
*{{d|p}}: Wot, thet's crazy! 'E [[Dates and Schoolgates|spoketh to me before!]]
 
*{{d|jav}}: He couldn't have … Cil can't speak except for{{em}}
 
*{{d|cil}}: Goo!
 
*{{d|jav}}: That.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Alright, then. Everything is done! We just need to have one change. Citlali, you're fired.
 
*{{d|cit}}: What? But I was the one who <s>sent you here</s> fabulously auditioned.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Actually, you practically said nothing except for ice cream. And for that, you won't be allowed to be cast onto the show or else I would be in great ''legal'' trouble.
 
*{{d|cit}}: But … but … being on TV was my whole life's goal!
 
*{{d|p}}: Aye, she's me daughter!
 
*{{d|cit}}: How can I be on TV if nobody recognises me! Are you going to blur out my face?
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Nope. Better.
 
{{Scene|Attic|Cut to Telecam leading Citlali into the attic.}}
 
*{{d|cit}}: Let go of me, you … you Trojan horse!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: I'm sorry, but it's for the good of you. And us. And the production company!
 
*{{d|cit}}: What? But we never go to the attic; only to get out the Christmas décor!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: It's your new home.
 
*{{d|cit}}: I'm going to call my agent! Wait, I don't have an agent …
 
[''She shuts the door, leaving Citlali in total darkness. She touches around to find a light switch, and she turns it on. A few boxes are scattered around the corners of the room, and a large empty space i'']
 
*{{d|cit}}: Ah! This place … this place is totally awesome! I mean, there's a whole empty spot there right for my bed.
 
[''Then, show the montage of Citlali bringing things from her room and up into the attic.'']
 
{{Scene|Dinner|Everyone from the pervious scene is eating without Citlali.}}
 
*{{d|p}}: An' 'ere's yer food.
 
[''General acclamation.'']
 
*{{d|p}}: ''Lallie, y'can come down now!''
 
*{{d|cit}}: ''No thanks, I'm good up here!''
 
*{{d|p}}: Okay, but we'll send'a food.
 
[''Everyone goes on their phones.'']
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Does everyone use electronics during dinner?
 
*{{d|p}}: We're not supposed to, but I jus' got a new game!
 
*{{d|yar}}: ''And'' it's not Ritual School Paper night, so we're just doing games!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: [''sigh''] I remember a time when we didn't use machines at the table, and simply talked to each other.
 
[''The door opens. Enter'' '''Pen'''.]
 
*{{d|d}}: She's here, she's here, she's here … [''runs up the stairs'']
 
*{{d|xim}}: Has Father Christmas come?
 
*{{d|d}}: No, worse!
 
[''Enter'' '''Minola''' ''and'' '''Popsicley'''.]
 
*{{d|minola}}: Ladies, and gentlemen! ''Shinsa sungnyŏ yŏrŏbun!''<ref>{{lang|Kor.|Ladies and gentlemen!}}</ref>
 
*{{d|popsicley}}: We understand that at this time you might be eating dinner. With a guest. But what you'll see right now is ''really'' disturbing.
 
*{{d|qr}}: You're in our house! That's the disturbing thing.
 
*{{d|minola}}: Drumroll, please.
 
[''Popsicley does a drum roll.'']
 
*{{d|minola}}: And now … presenting the girl you are waiting for …
 
[''Chocolatey, Boat and Shelly bring Saye inside as they stand outside the door. For some reason she is trapped inside a cage, and the point below her is nearly non-existent.'']
 
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Ok, S-family, here she is!
 
*{{d|pj}}: '''''GET. OUT!'''''
 
*{{d|boat}}: Hey, we'd better go. Come on, girls!
 
[''Exit the Friendship group.'']
 
*{{d|p}}: Me God, Saye, y'look awful! But we've got news fer'ee … we're goin' to be on the telly on a new series!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: I don't need you to audition because just by dramatically entering you have proven me worthy of hiring you! Yay!
 
[''Everyone else at the table cheers. Pen gets the cage carrying Saye.'']
 
*{{d|d}}: Oh, my daughter … I guess you have to go to a place where no man's ever stepped.
 
[''He throws the cage up to the attic. Citlali screams.'']
 
*{{d|telecam}}: So, are electronics the only thing you do during the dinner table!
 
*{{d|zor}}: Yeah.
 
*{{d|jav}}: Pretty much.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: But that's boring! Not only was Leafy the only one who carried a cell phone during all of BFDI, but there's already a TV show with people obsessed with electronics, called ''Why Don't You Turn Off Your Television for One Moment and'' … never mind.
 
{{Scene|Girls' room|That night, Pen enters the room confused.}}
 
*{{d|d}}: One, two, three … Aren't there five of you?
 
*{{d|yar}}: Usually, but Citlali's spending the night at the attic.
 
*{{d|zor}}: And we threw out Saye's cage to the backyard.
 
*{{d|xim}}: <small>Shh, that's a secret!</small>
 
*{{d|d}}: Why?
 
*{{d|yar}}: She's scary as a bad word I'm not supposed to say.
 
*{{d|xim}}: She clawed through my Spongy doll!
 
*{{d|d}}: Aside from the question on why you own a plush version of one of the most irrelevant BFDI character in history, I'll let you sleep as just the three of you, but if Saye does come back tomorrow, you have to let her with you, capisce?
 
*{{duo|{{d|yar}}|{{d|xim}}}}: Kaposh!
 
*{{d|zor}}: Whatever.
 
*'''Voice''': [''extremely faintly''] <small><small>Aww!</small></small>
 
*{{d|d}}: Did you hear that?
 
*{{d|yar}}: Yeah, Zorah's already sleeping!
 
*{{d|xim}}: Good point.
 
*{{d|d}}: Good night, girls.
 
*{{d|yar}}: Night!
 
   
==Thursday, March 13, 2014==
+
==Tuesday, January 7, 2014==
{{Scene|Morning|The sun rises but it is interrupted to Saye's vile screams of pure terror.}}
+
{{Scene|Home}}
*{{d|sun}}: Just great, another nightmare. Sixteenth time this week. ''Give me a break, woman!''
+
*{{d|p}}: So, kids, are'ee ready fer yer firs' day o' school?
[''The kids go downstairs.'']
+
*{{d|dj}}: You mean our first day back from the winter holidays, mum.
*{{d|jav}}: [''sigh''] I had a real bad dream last night.
+
*{{d|sal}}: And in that case, we aren't.
*{{d|zor}}: Let me guess. You were being watched by Big Brother!
+
*{{d|dj}}: Yeah, there's going to be so many tests.
*{{d|jav}}: Close … I was watching Big Brother.
+
*{{d|jav}}: But I ''love'' school!
*{{d|dj}}: I actually did have a dream that someone was watching me.
+
*{{d|yar}}: Me two!
*{{d|sal}}: Same! Usually, I'm the one doing the watchity-watching.
+
*{{d|pj}}: Me three.
*{{d|yar}}: Wait, do you actually think that we're being watched right now?
+
*{{d|yar}}: Really, Saye? What do you like most about it?
*{{d|qr}}: I don't know, I'm only six.
+
*{{d|pj}}: The <s>boys</s> toys! And my history class where we only watch videos.
*{{d|xim}}: [''looking up''] Please don't watch us, person watching me!
+
*{{d|cit}}: Wow. I did not know you high schoolers play with toys.
*{{d|zor}}: And who are you speaking to?
+
*{{d|zor}}: I thought they did!
*{{d|jav}}: You mean, ''to whom'' are you{{em}}
+
*{{d|cit}}: <small>Zorah, this is rated G!</small>
*{{d|zor}}: Shut up now.
+
*{{d|p}}: Wote'er, I'd better get y' lot out to school in time. Can't make a firs' impression without bein' seen by e'eryone.
*{{d|xim}}: Where are Mummy and Daddy?
+
[''Exeunt omnes nisi Qalam-Rassas.'']
*{{d|dj}}: I don't know … usually, they're always out here.
+
*{{d|qr}}: Mum, you're holding on for me.
  +
*{{d|p}}: Aye, fer, like, an 'ole day, yeah?
  +
*{{d|qr}}: But I'm not in Honours Kindergarten anymore! It's January, so now I'm Grade ½!
  +
*{{d|p}}: Grade ½? Wot'n'ale's thet?
  +
*{{d|d}}: Penc, five of our kids went through the exact same thing.
  +
*{{d|p}}: I know, but this is different!
  +
*{{d|qr}}: Can I just walk with the others?
  +
*{{d|p}}: N{{em}}
  +
*{{d|d}}: Ech-''em?''
  +
*{{d|p}}: I mean "aye". [''sigh'']
  +
[''Exit'' '''Qalam-Rassas'''.]
  +
*{{d|p}}: Pen, 'ave'ee got to go to work?
  +
*{{d|d}}: Apparently the bullet plane to Headquarters isn't accepting flights due to repairs, so they're basically giving me the day off.
  +
*{{d|p}}: Ah. Wait, Pen, I think I left me water bottle in the girls' room. Mind if I get'e?
  +
*{{d|d}}: Actually, I think I should get it for you, like a true gentleman.
  +
[''He skips up the stairs to the room.'']
  +
*{{d|p}}: [''sigh''] Sad thet yer the only only left at 'ome now thet QR's run off. Do me a favour an' ne'er grow up fer me, yeah?
 
*{{d|cil}}: Goo!
 
*{{d|cil}}: Goo!
*{{d|jav}}: That is a good idea, we should definitely go to their room.
+
{{Scene|School|Javier walks the halls alone, until he bumps into someone.}}
*{{d|dj}}: Alright, Chavo, Ximena, Cil and QR, you go check the attic and see if Lallie's dead.
+
*{{d|jav}}: Oh!
*{{d|jav}}: If my twin-by-3 planck seconds were dead, I would be proud for knowing it first, grieve, and then feel a mixture of griving and smug upper knowledge.
+
*{{d|capker}}: [''realising''] Hey, you look kind of familiar. Are you a mirror?
*{{d|dj}}: I'll take Avi, Zorah and Izzie up.
+
*{{d|jav}}: Well, we both should know that if any of us were a mirror, it would be rather uncanny if one of us were talking.
*{{d|yar}}: Excuse me, but I go by Izz'''y''', not Izz'''ie'''.
+
*{{d|capker}}: That's true. I'm Capker!
*{{d|dj}}: We have no time for a spelling bee, we have to see if everyone's okay!
+
*{{d|jav}}: Oh my gosh, my name's Javier! I don't supposed they call you Capker because{{em}}
*{{d|sal}}: Wait, why can't we go with you?
+
*{{d|capker}}: Yep, that's right. My parents chose my name based on the name day calendar.
*{{d|dj}}: I've seen this on TV shows; when parents don't get out of the room in the morning, they're usually{{em}}
+
*{{d|jav}}: Are you new here?
*{{d|zor}}: Don't say it!
+
*{{d|capker}}: Yeah, I just arrived from America.
*{{d|dj}}: I was going to say "still sleeping", but okay.
+
*{{d|jav}}: That's pretty interesting. So, did you get your schedule yet?
{{Scene|Parents' room|Enter '''Sio''', '''Zorah''', '''Javier''' and '''Yaretzi'''. Otherwise the room is empty.}}
+
*{{d|capker}}: Yeah [''he shows his'']
*{{d|jav}}: Why aren't Mummy and Daddy here?
+
*{{d|jav}}: Wow, we have the same schedule! It's like we're twins!
*{{d|dj}}: Climate change, bad economy, a book signing.
+
*{{d|capker}}: Awesome! But don't say "sh"-edule like that, it's "sk"-edule. Or at least that's how it was in the old country.
*{{d|jav}}: I meant why aren't they in this room?
+
*{{d|jav}}: Yeah, that's what I thought.
*{{d|p}}: <small>Kids, is thet ye? 'Elp us!</small>
+
[''They head off to class. Meanwhile, enter'' '''Zorah''' ''and her friends.'']<ref>{{Komentari|Please stop inserting the word "skirt" in the fanfics. They add nothing and only open the door to more potentially provocative edits. Thank you!}}</ref>
*{{d|yar}}: I think that's them!
+
*{{d|lroh3}}: Omg, I can't wait for our new teacher!
*{{d|zor}}: Or we could stay outside.
+
*{{d|zor}}: You mean, our new prank victim?
*{{d|dj}}: Come on.
+
*{{d|lroh3}}: Sure, if you want to think of it that way.
{{Scene|Bathroom|Pencil and Pen are trapped in the bathroom. As Sio unlocks the door, he opens it.}}
+
*{{d|chupalla}}: Maybe she's pretty.
*{{d|p}}: Oi, thank God y'came ter 'elp us from 'ere.
+
*{{d|lroh3}}: Yeah, maybe
*{{d|zor}}: Why, what happened?
+
*{{d|zor}}: Come on, don't want to be late!
*{{d|d}}: Apparently someone thought that it was a good idea to lock us both in the bathroom's shower-and-toilet area.
+
*{{d|lroh3}}: Wow, that was totally uncool.
*{{d|yar}}: Yay, I love showers and toilets!
+
*{{d|zor}}: Sorry, it was just this stupid thing my mum told me.
*{{d|d}}: But not to brag, but your father stayed cool and collected during the whole process.
+
{{Scene|Zorah's new class|Enter '''Zorah''' and her friends, when to their surprise, they find their teacher to be no other than Match.}}
*{{d|p}}: The part o' the loo from which we were locked 'ad no mirror. Don' think ye was cool an' collected.
+
*{{d|disco light}}: Woah, baby!
*{{d|d}}: That's not true!
+
*{{d|shieldy}}: Ain't she pretty!
*{{d|p}}: <small>It was.</small>
+
*{{d|zor}}: What the hell? Match, why are you here?
[''Cut to last night.'']
+
*{{d|m}}: Shh, I'll, like, tell you when the bell rings.
*{{d|d}}: We're gonna die, we're gonna die!
+
*{{d|lroh3}}: The bell rang ten minutes ago! We're just fashionably late.
*{{d|p}}: Righ', acos e'eryone believes thet death shall 'appen if y' can't see yerself.
+
*{{d|m}}: Omg, you're late! How do you spell tardy?
{{Scene|Attic|Enter '''Salvador''', '''Qalam-Rassas''', '''Cil''' and '''Ximena'''. Citlali is still sleeping as funk-sounding music plays in the background and a disco ball spins around.}}
+
*{{d|chupalla}}: P-R-E-S-E-N-T.
*{{d|qr}}: This place is really new to me.
+
*{{d|m}}: Maybe you should show me some R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
*{{d|xim}}: Same.
+
*{{d|chupalla}}: I hate her already.
*{{d|sal}}: What the hell is this place?
+
[''They take her seats.'']
*{{d|qr}}: Shh, Chavo, not in front of the baby!
+
*{{d|m}}: Hello, class, my name is Ms. Merrier!
*{{d|sal}}: I don't want to say this … '''''CITLALI IMANI SCHREIBER, WAKE THE CURSE WORD UP!'''''
+
*{{d|surfboard}}: Dude, that's such an inappropriate name.
[''Cil starts to cry.'']
+
[''The whole class laughs.'']
*{{d|cit}}: Nagete! I mean, wh- what's happening? Is it morning already?
+
*{{d|m}}: Excuse me, but it's more like an ''ex'' inappropriate name, just like me!
*{{d|xim}}: Yep, it's morning! We all just woke up.
+
[''Silence.'']
*{{d|cit}}: Oh, everyone, last night was so awesome! While you people were eating dinner, I was making my attic the greatest one-woman party I've ever had!
+
*{{d|zor}}: Wait, Ms. Merrier.
*{{d|sal}}: Does it have to have disco lights?
+
*{{d|m}}: Yes, Zorah?
*{{d|cit}}: Yes, it really emphasises the way the moonlight ''pulsated'' against my King James Bible.
+
*{{d|zor}}: Two things Why are you here and can I call you "Aunt Merrier"?
*{{d|xim}}: Okay, what about the music?
+
*{{d|m}}: Apparently, Headmistress Ball said she'd only hire me because nobody else wanted the job. You see, I heard your old teacher was caught … er … doing unteacherly things!
*{{d|cit}}: Last night was a playlist of the best J-Pop of the greater '70s. You go, Naoko-san!
+
*{{d|surfboard}}: We know!
*{{d|sal}}: Well, we'd better get downstairs so the others know you're not dead.
+
*{{d|shieldy}}: Mr. Tolmerson was caught drinking alcohol at a bar!
*{{d|cit}}: No, I'll be dead downstairs if you fools don't let me listen to the Japanese version of Blondie!
+
[''Everyone gasps.'']
{{Scene|Dining room|The younger kids go downstairs as everyone else is there.}}
+
*{{d|shieldy}}: What? Just because I'm the oldest person here doesn't mean I don't know what's going on!
*{{d|p}}: Mornin' t'r'e!
+
*{{d|m}}: Alright everybody, let's let the teacher talk!
*{{d|xim}}: Good morning.
+
[''Silence.'']
*{{d|qr}}: Food tree!
+
*{{d|zor}}: [''whispering to Chupalla''] <small>If you think it's not unteacherly that my aunt Match is teaching us, she was something much worse a year ago.</small>
*{{d|p}}: So, Ména, 'ow'd'ee like the attic?
+
*{{d|chupalla}}: [''whispering to Lawrenciah''] <small>If you think that is not a teacherly Match my aunt teaches us, it was something much worse a year ago.</small>
*{{d|cit}}: It's ''terrible'', like, the worst place ever!
+
*{{d|lroh3}}: [''whispering to Shieldy''] <small>If you think this is not a Match teacherly aunt teaches us, it was something much worse there one year.</small>
*{{d|xim}}: <small>Wait, I thought you liked the attic!</small>
+
*{{d|shieldy}}: [''whispering to Disco Light''] <small>If you do not think this is Match teacherly aunt teaches us, it was something much worse is not one year.</small>
*{{d|cit}}: <small>Shh! If they don't know about what goes on up there, they're going to move me down. Do you want that?</small>
+
[''Pretty soon, the trail of translations travel across the whole room as Match reads a book, ending with Surfboard.'']
*{{d|xim}}: Kind of. I hate when Zorah acts out her dreams in public, and you're always there to shut her up!
+
*{{d|surfboard}}: Uh, Ms. Merrier?
*{{d|p}}: Come on, y'don' wan' to be late fer school, yeah?
+
*{{d|m}}: Shh, I'm reading!
*{{d|dj}}: Race you upstairs!
+
*{{d|surfboard}}: Think bad Teacherly, she agrees.
*{{d|sal}}: You're on, but you lose!
+
*{{d|m}}: The hell? [''she goes back to reading'']
*{{d|cit}}: And I'll be in the worst place ever!
+
{{Scene|Home|Pencil is watching TV as she hears Pen screaming.}}
[''Exeunt pæne omnes.'']
+
*{{d|d}}: Penc! Come up here!
*{{d|d}}: I'll be in the backyard to provoke the beast.
+
*{{d|p}}: Wot's wrong?
*{{d|p}}: 'N'ale?
+
*{{d|d}}: Just look!
*{{d|d}}: I'm going to wake up our daughter!
+
[''She goes up to the girls' room, and it is a mess.'']
*{{d|p}}: Ah.
+
*{{d|p}}: Wot 'appen'd 'ere? Thought y'was lookin' fer th' water bottle I left in 'ere!
  +
*{{d|d}}: Oh, I found that already.
  +
*{{d|p}}: Aye, y' threw thet down the stairs. Be careful, thet could make the stairs wet an' y' don't want to scare ol' 'ydrophobe Sio, m8!
  +
*{{d|d}}: I know, but I found something even more horrible than water!
  +
*{{d|p}}: Please, wot could thet be?
  +
[''He shows her.'']
  +
*{{d|p}}: Saye's diary?
  +
*{{d|d}}: Yeah, it's her diary!
  +
*{{d|p}}: 'Er diary she told'ee not to touch?
  +
*{{d|d}}: I couldn't help it, it's a father's intuition!
  +
*{{d|p}}: Thet doesn' explain why you made this room a mess.
  +
*{{d|d}}: It's really simple, I promise. Y'see, as I got your water bottle, there was this reflecty thing in it and out of the corner of my eye, I saw it.
  +
*{{d|p}}: 'Er diary.
  +
*{{d|d}}: No, my old goggles. I think Citlali stole it for one of her fashion mannequins because they were … well … ''on'' there. There wasn't much resistance, but it was still hard for me to pull, which caused me to fall onto her bed where I found for some reason Saye's diary.
  +
*{{d|p}}: You messed up ther 'ole room!
  +
*{{d|d}}: Check what's on the last page!
  +
[''She opens it.'']
  +
*{{d|p}}: It's in Japanese.
  +
*{{d|d}}: But she clearly erased her real entry. Isn't that why Saye looked a little missing on the top? Take a look. It says, "Going on a date, not telling my parents."
  +
*{{d|p}}: Wow. Thet's terrible!
  +
*{{d|d}}: We have to stop her!
  +
*{{d|p}}: No, we don't. Like, wot if the guy Saye's a-datin' a good person?
  +
*{{d|d}}: Please, if he were a good person he would take the time to meet me first to get my approval.
  +
*{{d|p}}: Jus' go back to cleanin' thet room, m8. I need to grieve.
  +
[''Exit'' '''Pencil'''. ''She goes back to watching TV.'']
  +
*{{d|p}}: Oh, 'avin' so little kids is such a bad idea. I hate ther ideer of all me kids in one place … e'en Match! Oh, 'ow I miss 'em …
  +
*{{d|cil}}: Maybe you shouldn't take the downhearted sides to this experience, but think of it as an experience. Having ten children is potentially stressful as heck, but what you need for all of them being gone is a daily holiday, wouldn't you like that?
  +
*{{d|p}}: Aye, I would like thet. Thanks, Cil … wait a minute, you talk?
  +
*{{d|cil}}: Goo!
  +
*{{d|p}}: Of course …
  +
{{Scene|Lunch|Saye and her friends are eating.}}
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Hey, guys!
  +
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Hey!
  +
*{{d|popsicley}}: Can you believe they gave us a test just as we came back to school?
  +
*{{d|minola}}: This is the high school life!
  +
*{{d|shelly}}: I always thought we would be cooler than that.
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Aww, that's great. Anyways, I have a date with Nickel tonight!
  +
*{{d|boat}}: On a Monday? Man, you people are weird.
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Oi, says the girl who's eating a baguette.
  +
*{{d|boat}}: [''realising''] [[Zayde's Hootin' Arrival|Not again!]]
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Well, I have proof that Nickel and I are going on a date, as you can clearly see in my dia{{em}} No! I left it at home!
  +
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Wait. You have a diary? That's so cool!
  +
*{{d|popsicley}}: Sure, if you like recording things that happened in your irrelevant life.
  +
*{{d|chocolatey}}: It's like an autobiography.
  +
*{{d|popsicley}}: Ah! A big word!
  +
[''She sprays her with a hose away from the table.'']
  +
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Mum …
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Guys, this is terrible! I don't want people to see my diary! It's got foreign writing on it.
  +
*{{d|minola}}: So?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: My mother!
  +
*{{d|minola}}: Oh yeah, I got you at "mother".
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Like, what if my dad finds out I've got a date?
  +
*{{d|shelly}}: Calm down, you probably hid it in a secure place where your dad can't find it.
  +
*{{d|pj}}: [''sigh''] I guess you're right.
  +
[''Suddenly, Match finds the girls.'']
  +
*{{d|m}}: Omg, hi girls!
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Aunt Match?
  +
*{{d|boat}}: What are you doing here?
  +
*{{d|m}}: Thought I'd like to meet my most mature niece.
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Aww, that's so nice{{em}}
  +
*{{d|m}}: I was talking to Shelly.
  +
*{{d|shelly}}: Really?
  +
*{{d|m}}: No, just kidding.
  +
*{{d|boat}}: So, did you decide to be a teacher?
  +
*{{d|m}}: Yeah. It's really cool how they just let people work here without a degree!
  +
*{{d|minola}}: Says a lot about our education, doesn't it?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Whatever. By the way, Aunt Match, can you keep a secret?
  +
*{{d|m}}: I don't know. Is is "may I"?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: IDK, English class is fifth period.
  +
*{{d|m}}: Oh, just tell me!
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Okay. <small>I have a date tonight but I'm going to tell my mum and dad that I'm off to a friend's house.</small>
  +
*{{d|m}}: '''''OMG, YOU HAVE A DATE!?'''''
  +
[''The girls laugh.'']
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Shh, not so loud, Aunt Match!
  +
*{{d|m}}: Sorry, I get really happy about things like that! Here, take my dating handbook.
  +
*{{d|pj}}: You just randomly had that with you?
  +
*{{d|m}}: No, I brought it with me for my first day! My class keeps telling me to stop reading, but maybe I should stop, just for them.
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Not just them.
  +
*{{d|m}}: Wait, but which friend are you at?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: I'm not really at a friend's house! It's a date, remember?
  +
*{{d|m}}: I know, but what if your mum and dad ask where you'll be?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: They won't ask that!
  +
*{{d|m}}: Aw, come on, of course they're going to ask that! I speak mother. Hey, tell you this, I'll walk with you all the way home. That way your mum won't even pay attention to you guys, eh?
  +
*{{d|p}}: I guess you have a point.
  +
*{{d|m}}: '''''YES!''''' I have a point! See that, class of '22? I have a point! [''she chases after them'']
  +
{{Scene|Auditorium|All of the class of 2025 are being picked by the headmistress to be in the first grade classes.}}
  +
*{{d|gb}}: And in Mrs. Harlow's class: Soap-hia Andrews, Isa-bell-a Chiu, Soap-hia Silver, Idaka, Soap-hia Cleaner, Zonophoney, Isa-bell-a Narice … Qua … Cal …
  +
*{{d|qr}}: [''getting up''] That's me!
  +
*{{d|gb}}: Calvin Sanchez. Sorry, I couldn't read that. And that's all for Mrs. Harlow's class.
  +
*{{d|qr}}: No!
  +
*{{d|gb}}: And now for ''my'' class. Dustball #1, Dustball #2, Dustball #3 … and Qalam-Rassas Schreiber.
  +
*{{d|qr}}: What? That's so unfair! The Dustballs are mute!
  +
*{{d|gb}}: The correct word is ''unable to speak'', son of a{{em}}
  +
*{{d|tb}}: Hey, not in front of the children. Mr. Schreiber, I am sorry, but we can't move you to another class.
  +
*{{d|qr}}: But this isn't fair! All of my friends are in the same class, why can't I?
  +
*{{d|gb}}: It was chosen randomly, and so you're randomly with me! [''evilly laughs''] Now everyone, go to my classroom at once! March two three four … march two three four …
  +
{{Scene|After school|Everyone gets home from school, led by Match}}
  +
*{{d|m}}: Finally, my day of tortune is ''done!''
  +
*{{d|qr}}: Mummy! [''he hugs her''] I'm never going to school again!
  +
*{{d|p}}: Wot{{em}}
  +
*{{d|zor}}: You'll never guess who my new teacher is … Mrs. "Merrier"!
  +
*{{d|p}}: Match, I told'ee, they'll respect'ee more if y' ectually go by "Ms. Zapalka".
  +
*{{d|m}}: Oh, but what's the fun in that?
  +
*{{d|p}}: Good point!
  +
*{{d|dj}}: For lunch we went to the pond and ate there!
  +
*{{d|p}}: Thet's cool, but{{em}}
  +
*{{d|jav}}: I made a new friend!
  +
*{{d|p}}: Now thet's amazin', but I'm lookin' fer one person now.
  +
*{{d|m}}: Oh, that's Saye. She's … busy.
  +
*{{d|d}}: Right.
  +
[''Enter'' '''Saye'''.]
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Hello, mum, dad! This is Aunt Match. She works at my school now!
  +
*{{d|d}}: Well, enough about her, tell us about your day … and your future ''plans'', eh?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Life's good, I'm getting an A in five of my classes!
  +
*{{d|d}}: Are you going anywhere tonight?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Yeah, a friend's house.
  +
*{{d|p}}: Ooh, which friend?
  +
*{{d|m}}: <small>Told you.</small>
  +
*{{d|pj}}: It's nothing, I'd better go.
  +
[''She tries to go up.'']
  +
*{{d|d}}: Hold it! By any chance are you doing anything that rhymes with eight?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: You mean stuff like "bate", "Kate", "m8", "great", "aggressively self-hydrate", "late" or "fate"? Wait a second, you read my diary?
  +
[''Silence.'']
  +
*{{d|pj}}: You ''did'' read my diary! I'm never speaking to you again!
  +
[''She slams her door.'']
  +
*{{d|p}}: [''sigh''] I'd better go up there.
  +
*{{d|d}}: I'd better follow.
  +
*{{d|xim}}: Hey, do you want to know what happened to me at school today?
  +
*{{d|dj}}: I think I'll pass.
  +
*{{d|sal}}: It's a no from all of us.
  +
*{{d|yar}}: I have to de-dust the countertops.
  +
*{{d|xim}}: That's actually good, nothing happened today! It was all boring. Boring, boring, boring!
  +
*{{d|zor}}: Same thing, sister. And same thing, ''Ms. Merrier''!
  +
*{{d|m}}: I'm sorry, but I just didn't know what to do! They don't give detentions in grade 4, so I was stuck reading a novel that could be better.
  +
*{{d|zor}}: Maybe you could have flipped my card to the red one. Nobody looks at those!
  +
*{{d|jav}}: Aunt Match, on the bright side, you don't have to tell mum and dad about Saye's date!
  +
*{{d|m}}: Wait, how did you hear that?
  +
*{{d|jav}}: You shouted it at us.
  +
*{{d|m}}: Ah.
  +
*{{d|qr}}: Aunt Match, can you be my teacher?
  +
*{{d|m}}: I wish I could, preschoolers are so much better than fourth graders.
  +
*{{duo|{{d|zor}}|{{d|yar}}}}: Hey!
  +
{{Scene|The girls' room|Saye is crying.}}
  +
*{{d|pj}}: It isn't fair!
  +
*{{d|d}}: [''from the other side''] Open up!
  +
*{{d|p}}: We need a talk with our daughter.
  +
[''She opens the door.'']
  +
*{{d|pj}}: What do you want?
  +
*{{d|d}}: About reading your diary …
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Why would you think this is cool? You're invading my privacy! Dad, I'm fourteen, I can write what I want here!
  +
*{{d|p}}: We know yer old enough to write, m8, but we're still in charge of'ee. An' when we see somethin' thet you've writ in yer diary, it makes us, yer parents, feel worried.
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Mum, you have nothing to worry about!
  +
*{{d|d}}: What about [[Zayde's Hootin' Arrival|the time you ran away to <s>Terwiter's</s> Germany]]? You don't think we were worried then?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Well, yeah. But that was only in November! It's going to be my birthday in a month and I want to do what ''I'' want, not just what you want!
  +
*{{d|d}}: Saye, do you know how dangerous dates have the possibility of being? What if he's an old man in disguise? Then we'll have to get Officer Coiny involved, and …
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Dad, you know who my date is!
  +
*{{d|d}}: Really?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Aye, he's Nickel, the love of my life.
  +
*{{d|p}}: Nickel, as in Needy's … [''slap''] lover's brother?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Yeah, him!
  +
*{{d|p}}: I don' know, me sister says 'e's jus' Coiny with an attitude. An' we can't 'ave ''two'' people from the family be datin' from the same family?
  +
*{{d|d}}: Unless you want your family tree to look like an electroencephalograph.
  +
*{{d|p}}: Oi Pen, this is girl talk.
  +
*{{d|d}}: Sorry.
 
[''Exit'' '''Pen'''.]
 
[''Exit'' '''Pen'''.]
*{{d|telecam}}: Kid issues, eh?
+
*{{d|p}}: I get'e, Saye, 'tis yer firs' date.
*{{d|p}}: Ah! Wot'n'ale'je doin' 'ere this early in the mornin'?
+
*{{d|pj}}: Well, my first ''real'' date.
*{{d|telecam}}: Stayed the night.
 
*{{d|p}}: 'Aven'ee got an 'ome?
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Yes, I do, but it isn't as nice as this one.
 
*{{d|p}}: Aww, thet's so nice!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: I have yet to give to you your first reality check.
 
*{{d|p}}: I'm a-gettin' a cheque fer jus' being 'ere? Oh, thanks'ee, bruv!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: No, I mean, I've reviewed the performances of you lot last night. Who knew that your children sleep for almost exactly eight hours!
 
 
*{{d|p}}: Wot?
 
*{{d|p}}: Wot?
*{{d|telecam}}: Don't worry, that's healthy! Or at least that's what they tell you.
+
*{{d|pj}}: Nothing.
*{{d|p}}: I mean on you spyin' on me children! They were right when they're a-havin' a bad dream las' night.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Look, I can stop knowing what happens in the ''reality''.
 
*{{d|p}}: Good!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: That is, if you don't want the fame and fortune!
 
*{{d|p}}: [''shocked''] I've got the fortune, but it'd be great ter 'ave the fame again! Spy on, girlfriend!
 
{{Scene|Outside|Pen approaches Saye's cage, which has been covered by a large leaf.}}
 
*{{d|d}}: [''shudders''] Leafy … [''to himself''] Y'know, I'd better defend myself.
 
[''He finds a stick.'']
 
*{{d|d}}: Hey, you look like my mother-in-law! [''imitating Estigua via the stick''] Hey, Fredzhi, you won'chu get a job'e, you know thatch'e? Then guess what, lady, I have a job, it's just been the interval between me seeing you last and me getting a job that … ah, forget it, the bouncer never does jokes. [''he sees the cage again''] Alright, Saye, it's time to go to school!
 
[''There is a growling sound.'']
 
*{{d|d}}: It's me, your father!
 
[''There is another growling sound.'']
 
*{{d|d}}: The man who took you home from the maternity ward just … <small>Let's see, it was February 14, 2009 when we got you, and today is the thirteenth of March, 2014, that's five years so multiply by 5, add the one because of the leap year back in 2012, carry the … Wait, I've got a phone! … So it's from 14-2-2009 to 13-3-2014 which is …</small> 1,853 days ago! <small>And she's gone.</small>
 
*{{d|pj}}: [''going on all 4's to school''] '''''MUST … GIVE … SELF … PROPER … EDUCATION!'''''
 
*{{d|d}}: Hey, on the bright side there was no provocation!
 
{{Scene|School|Saye arrives in the same place where she usually meets her friends. A lot of the other students scream as they see her, but the Friendship Group tie her down.}}
 
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Mia, you get the left arm!
 
*{{d|minola}}: Got it! Who'll get the eraser?
 
*{{d|boat}}: Me! [''she sits on her eraser and a "clink" sound is heard''] Oops, I think I broke something.
 
*{{d|shelly}}: Never mind that, I've got the legs!
 
[''They then bodycuff her to the ground.'']
 
*{{d|popsicley}}: Well, this should keep her secure for the next twenty years.
 
{{Scene|Mrs. Harlow's 1st Grade class}}
 
*{{d|harlow}}: I'm sorry, class, but today is supposed to be a holiday traditionally. I'm afraid I've got nothing to teach you today.
 
*{{d|idaka}}: You know what that means: party!
 
*{{d|zonophoney}}: Which type? Political or parlour party?
 
*{{d|idaka}}: What's that?
 
*{{d|qr}}: ''Or'' we could keep doing what we did yesterday.
 
*'''Class''': Yay!
 
*{{d|bowey}}: Airs!
 
*{{d|harlow}}: Honestly, that is a very good idea.
 
[''Mrs. Harlow brings up Match's phone screen on the school projector. It is set to the website UsoKitabu.'']
 
*{{d|m}}: [''not looking up''] Mrs. Harlow, can I ask you a personal question?
 
*{{d|harlow}}: You sure can, but is it "may I".
 
*{{d|m}}: I think I'm the one who's to do the question.
 
*{{d|harlow}}: Sure, before the children.
 
*{{d|m}}: But they're children!
 
*{{d|harlow}}: They won't do anything!
 
*{{d|m}}: Okay … What would a man, like, like on an anniversary of when we met?
 
*{{d|harlow}}: Ooh, a meet-aversary! My recommendation … how about flowers, chocolate and other stereotypical lovey-dovey things.
 
*{{d|m}}: [''still not looking up''] Nah, my man doesn't like that.
 
*{{d|harlow}}: Oh.
 
*{{d|m}}: I'd better go to the washroom and clean myself up.
 
*{{d|harlow}}: Stay out there too long!
 
*{{d|m}}: What?
 
*{{d|harlow}}: I mean, ''don't'' stay out there!
 
[''Exit'' '''Match'''.]
 
*{{d|harlow}}: Sorry, it's just that the last time I heard such drama was when that crowd of high schoolers walked by.
 
*{{d|qr}}: Yes, and they were less than good.
 
*{{d|harlow}}: Let's just watch and see what she sees.
 
[''Her phone screen moves, and a meme showing a pug dressed in a tutu is shown. The whole class laughs.'']
 
*{{d|idaka}}: Oh my goodness!
 
*{{d|bower}}: Pure comedy.
 
*{{d|qr}}: Hey, there's a new post by Aunt Match; that's her profile photo. What does it say, Mrs. Harlow?
 
*{{d|harlow}}: It says, in a way you should never write online, "Dear Internet, I need help. My sixteenth anniversary of meeting my boyfriend is coming up, and he, like, hates romance. What shall I do on this very special day?" Ooh, and the comments are coming in already; Match must be very popular! "Sixteen years is nothing. I have been with my husband for 99 years, sister, and you know nothing, once more.", "Just do something that remind you of a better time".
 
*{{d|qr}}: <small>Of a better time?</small>
 
[''Enter'' '''Match'''. ''Mrs. Harlow changes the screen at once to the picture of a pug in a tutu. The class laughs again.'']
 
*{{d|qr}}: That's it, of a better time! [''everyone looks at him''] What? Nothing!
 
{{Scene|Lunch|After the bell rings, the Friendship Group go to Saye and see how she's doing. She is lying on her upside.}}
 
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Hello, Saye?
 
[''No response.'']
 
*{{d|popsicley}}: She's not moving.
 
*{{d|minola}}: Maybe we'd better touch her!
 
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Okay, but you do it first because you suggested it.
 
*{{d|shelly}}: Oh no, I'm so scared! Boat, please board me!
 
*{{d|boat}}: On it!
 
*{{d|minola}}: Here goes nothing.
 
[''She tries to touch her slowly, but at once she snaps upright, terrifying the girls.'']
 
*{{d|chocolatey}}: OMG!
 
*{{d|minola}}: That was really terrifying!
 
*{{d|boat}}: I'm never going to sleep again.
 
*{{d|shelly}}: What's the fuss, I didn't even see it.
 
*{{d|popsicley}}: Quick! Take her to a sharpening facility!
 
[''They run off, carrying her in the process. Meanwhile, the Inventing Club are going around campus, asking people to join.'']
 
*{{d|lego}}: Hello, would you like to join our club?
 
*{{d|zumhort}}: What do you call it?
 
*{{d|lego}}: It's a rather funny story{{em}}
 
*{{d|zumhort}}: I have received not amused by funny stories.
 
*{{d|dj}}: Hey, Zane!
 
*{{d|zane}}: You know my name?
 
*{{d|dj}}: Of course! Whenever my sister and her friends stay at my house, they always talk about you!
 
*{{d|zane}}: Really?
 
*{{d|dj}}: Anyways, now that that's over with, how would you like to join our club? We call it "Guys Who Code".
 
*{{d|zane}}: Woah, man, coding? Isn't that, like, for the nerd-sandwich type of guy? Sorry, bro, but I don't do computer stuff.
 
*{{d|sharpener}}: You'll be sorry about this!
 
[''Exit'' '''Zane'''. ''At the same time, enter'' '''Map''' ''and'' '''Shieldy'''.]
 
*{{d|lego}}: How'd club invitations go?
 
*{{d|map}}: It turns out there's at least 10 coding clubs in this school alone.
 
*{{d|shieldy}}: And now that it's so popular, nobody's going to join us! It's basically the mullet that died out in the 1990s, but instead of the 1990s it's now, and instead of the mullet it's us.
 
*{{d|sharpener}}: I guess it's time to say goodbye to whatever the heck we wish to call ourselves.
 
*{{d|xim}}: Woah, it's you!
 
*{{d|dj}}: Mona? What are you doing with the eighth graders?
 
*{{d|xim}}: Only going to the school store to by Citlali her stuff for her attic!
 
*{{d|dj}}: And she's making you do it for her?
 
*{{d|xim}}: No, she's already bought too many stuff so her hands are full.
 
[''She's next in the queue.'']
 
*{{d|tb}}: So, what shall we place you today?
 
*{{d|xim}}: I'd like to by one of those long cable things that take a picture from the television and put it on your wall.
 
*{{d|tb}}: Unfortunately, you can't buy it.
 
*{{d|xim}}: Why? Have I got no money?
 
*{{d|tb}}: Actually, it doesn't exist.
 
*{{d|xim}}: Dang it! First, the glasses, now this?
 
{{Scene|Outside the sharpening facility|Saye's friends wait outside.}}
 
*{{d|popsicley}}: [[Drill Sergeant Daddy#Outside the sharpening facility|Attention, everyone, it's the new and improved Pencil Camania Sayéne Schreiber!]]
 
*{{d|pj}}: [''behind a towel''] Omg, stop that, you sound like my Aunt Match!
 
*{{d|popsicley}}: Viola!
 
*{{d|boat}}: Don't mean to be pedantic, but it's actually{{em}}
 
[''She throws the towel away, revealing Saye, whose design never actually changed save for a fully sharpened tip.'']
 
*{{d|pj}}: How do I look?
 
*{{d|chocolatey}}: You look wonderful! And I would know, since I look just as wonderful.
 
*{{d|minola}}: Well, I'd better start running.
 
*{{d|shelly}}: Holy Kiel, Mia, why?
 
*{{d|minola}}: It's almost the end of lunch.
 
*{{d|boat}}: Yeah, we don't want to be late.
 
*{{d|pj}}: Thanks, Mrs. Redesigner, but we don't want to be late!
 
[''They all start running to school.'']
 
*{{d|pj}}: Look, guys, but I really feel sorry for what I did. Even though I vaguely member it, I still feel like a jerk.
 
*{{d|boat}}: Hey, that's not true. You only should feel like a jerk when your dull problems are not solved.
 
*{{d|pj}}: Thanks, guys.
 
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Yeah! Saye, we're going to the same class!
 
*{{d|popsicley}}: Meanwhile, my teacher's so mean he will give me another detention if I'm late again!
 
[''As they get to school, a police car is outside.'']
 
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Don't be for us, don't be for us, don't be for us.
 
*{{d|usd}}: Does any of you go by the name "Pencil Cama-Nia Shanaynay Sac-Er-Bur"?
 
*{{d|minola}}: No!
 
*{{d|pj}}: No, we can't lie to a police officer.
 
*{{d|minola}}: Sorry, officer.
 
*{{d|pj}}: Yes, sir, that's me.
 
*{{d|usd}}: I'm going to have to take you away!
 
*{{d|pj}}: What? No!
 
[''She gets taken into the back of the police car.'']
 
*{{d|pj}}: What's going on?
 
*{{d|chocolatey}}: We'll miss you, Saye!
 
[''The car drives to the back of the school, where her class is.'']
 
*{{d|usd}}: Have a nice day!
 
*{{d|pj}}: Wait, so you scared me into going into this car just to be escorted into class? Honestly, that's just, like … thank you!
 
{{Scene|Biology class}}
 
*{{d|tally}}: Javier Schreiber.
 
*{{d|jav}}: Yes, Mr. Tally?
 
*{{d|tally}}: Because of the rumours sent to me by a certain student, I hve assigned you the role of caterer in the class.
 
*{{d|jav}}: Caterer, a person who provides food for an organisation. I like the sound of that!
 
*{{d|tally}}: Yes, but instead of providing food for the class, you'll be feeding the classroom materials.
 
*{{d|jav}}: Like feed the class pets? I'm really good at giving nourishment to the dust mites near my brother's side of the room.
 
*{{d|tally}}: Actually, you'll be feeding this room. It needs cleaning, and the desk tops are still dusty from Advanced Bio's dust lab. Do you think you can handle it?
 
*{{d|jav}}: I'll have to consult it with my crew.
 
[''Suddenly, Angelavi and Devilavi from a past episode appear on Javier's shoulders.'']
 
*{{d|angelavi}}: Don't do it, Avi-ji. That wouldn't be satisfactory to the classroom, and you'll be noticed by all the class!
 
*{{d|devilavi}}: That fool is nothing to be listened, Javier, take the opportunity. You will do good for this class.
 
*{{d|jav}}: Hey, here's one question.
 
*{{d|angelavi}}: Yeah?
 
*{{d|jav}}: Aren't ''you'' supposed to be the good person?
 
*{{d|angelavi}}: I am the good person! I'm just suggesting that you shouldn't assist your own teacher and sit back as the class rots down.
 
*{{d|devilavi}}: Just take the opportunity; we're losing precious screen time!
 
*{{d|jav}}: Woah, wait. Are you the meta one again?
 
*{{d|devilavi}}: Yeah, what are you going to do about it? Delete my comment?
 
*{{d|jav}}: You guys, stop existing! [''the angel and devil versions of him disappear''] Since when did I become nicer than both of my personalities?
 
*{{d|tally}}: So, have you made up your mind on what you want to do?
 
*{{d|jav}}: Yes, yes I have. I'm going to be the caterer you'll never regret hiring!
 
*{{d|tally}}: Good! Then go clean the lab desk.
 
[''He goes and cleans the lab table. At the same time, enter'' '''Saye'''. ''The class gasps.'']
 
*{{d|pj}}: Sorry I'm late, Mr. Tally.
 
*{{d|tally}}: Ah, Saye, you've returned. Unfortunately, you need to arrive to class on time.
 
*{{d|pj}}: Yes, sir.
 
*{{d|tally}}: On time is what you need to be.
 
*{{d|pj}}: What? [''Javier looks up''] I've been through an entire ubutu cycle without being sharpened. I've been sent out of my home because I was considered a monster ... among my own family and friends! I've ... Oh my gosh, I completely ignored my English project!
 
*{{d|jav}}: Yeah, we pencils honestly don't have the best lives, and a female's ubutu is something that the vast majority of the population can't experience. So please, Mr. Tally, have a heart and save this poor lassie, will ya?
 
*{{d|tally}}: Alright, you won't be punished.
 
*{{d|pj}}: Thank you, sir!
 
*{{d|tally}}: But, I am issuing a bill for all the desertions and vandalism you did to those detention classrooms.
 
*{{d|pj}}: It's okay ... I totally deserved it. I'll just tell my parents it's for my college fund. [''she sits down'']
 
*{{d|zane}}: Hey.
 
*{{d|tally}}: Perfect! Now for today's lesson ... But before I start, let me warn you this: Dont be tardy for Tally. The next person to walk into the room automatically gets a 4 on their online report cards.
 
[''Enter'' '''Chocolatey'''.]
 
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Hey, everyone! ... Why is everyone looking at me?
 
{{Scene|Near the end of the school day}}
 
*{{d|fanaismith}}: Alright, class, I'm dismissing you early. It's supposed to be a school holiday.
 
[''The class cheers.'']
 
*{{d|dj}}: Map, you doing anything after school?
 
*{{d|map}}: I'm actually heading to the Karen Blixen Museum with my family ... y'know, once we can find it. Wait, don't you have to help your sister with something?
 
*{{d|dj}}: I guess, but I can't do it alone.
 
[''He gets his phone and calls the Inventing Club.'']
 
*{{d|dj}}: [''on the phone''] Guys, we've got an issue. More specifically, an inventing issue!
 
*{{d|lego}}: We're on it!
 
[''They meet near the edge of the quadristan.'']
 
*{{d|shieldy}}: So what do we have to make again?
 
*{{d|sharpener}}: Yeah, I may or may not have forgotten.
 
*{{d|dj}}: Our job is to make a cable from the television so you can see it from the attic.
 
*{{d|lego}}: Isn't that basically buying a security camera?
 
*{{d|dj}}: Yeah, but the sound and video quality and aspect radio must be the same as a TV screen.
 
*{{d|lego}}: I see ... well we can do it! Just give us a quick montage session so we can get it done as fast as possible!
 
*{{d|map}}: Yeah, I've got to go to the museum.
 
*{{d|lego}}: Then let's go!
 
[''Montage of inventing the TV Security Camera, including them accidentally breaking the computer.'']
 
*{{d|dj}}: And there, we're finished!
 
*{{d|sharpener}}: It looks well! Have we tested it yet?
 
*{{d|lego}}: Yeah, during the montage.
 
*{{d|sharpener}}: Oh yeah, I forgot.
 
*{{d|dj}}: I'd just want to thank you all for coming here, and{{em}}
 
*{{d|sharpener}}: I'd better go.
 
*{{d|map}}: Yeah, the museum's got to wait.
 
*{{d|lego}}: How about you bring this to Headmistress Hole; I think she wants to see you.
 
*{{d|dj}}: I'll be there.
 
{{Scene|Golf Ball's throne room|Sio reports to her.}}
 
*{{d|gb}}: State your name Japanesely!<ref>Japanesely referring to being in the order of Last Name, First Name.</ref>
 
*{{d|dj}}: Schreiber{{em}}
 
*{{d|gb}}: Hold it, son of an emotional successor. I summoned you yesterday on account of the lack of inventresses in your club.
 
*{{d|dj}}: Ma'am, we have come to tell you that we have not gained a female member in our club.
 
*{{d|gb}}: '''''WHAT!?'''''
 
*{{d|dj}}: No one wanted to meet us either.
 
*{{d|gb}}: [''sigh''] Then I have no choice but to disband the GWC.
 
*{{d|dj}}: Okay.
 
*{{d|gb}}: Halt, myself. What do you have with you?
 
*{{d|dj}}: It's our latest invention that transmits live television feed to the camera so you can watch it without seeing the TV.
 
*{{d|gb}}: Ooh, I want to use this to spy on the Ninth Grade History teacher, Mr. U-something! Give me this, Pen.
 
*{{d|dj}}: I'm sorry, but it's for my sister.
 
*{{d|gb}}: No, that thing is better in the <s>hands</s> legs of me than in possession by one of your family. Now give me this or else you get expelled.
 
*{{d|dj}}: Here.
 
[''He hands it over to Golf Ball's throne.'']
 
*{{d|dj}}: Maybe I'd make another one, but a certain club has been disbanded.
 
*{{d|gb}}: Oh, your club? In the whole go social issues and in with my personal advantages; I'm reinstating you all!
 
*{{d|dj}}: Really? Thank you!
 
*{{d|gb}}: I don't know how to respond to that.
 
{{Scene|After school|Everyone returns home to find Pencil at the door and Telecam standing on the ledge.}}
 
*{{d|yar}}: Hi, Mummy!
 
*{{d|p}}: Kids, nothin' is a-goin' on, yeah?
 
*{{d|yar}}: Okay!
 
*{{d|dj}}: I've been at work, and it's great to be back.
 
*{{d|xim}}: [''carrying a lot of things''] This is for the queen.
 
*{{d|qr}}: I have a secret and nobody can know!
 
*{{d|jav}}: Don't we all?
 
*{{d|zor}}: Quick, Chavo, help me get the balls out!
 
*{{d|sal}}: [''running inside''] I've got it!
 
*{{d|cit}}: I'm totally not going anywhere suspicious!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: We'll have to edit that out someday.
 
[''Salvador takes out the ball container from the closet.'']
 
*{{d|p}}: Omg, wot'r'ee doin' an' please stop this now!
 
*{{d|telecam}}: <small>No, let it go on! It will make great footage!</small>
 
*{{d|p}}: Okay, but don' mess up the house.
 
[''Enter'' '''Saye'''.]
 
*{{d|pj}}: Guess who's back from insanity?
 
*{{d|sal}}: '''''GET 'ER!'''''
 
[''They start throwing balls at her.'']
 
*{{d|pj}}: What the hell?!
 
[''Zorah and Qalam-Rassas stop throwing balls.'']
 
*{{d|qr}}: Wait!
 
*{{d|zor}}: I think she's really back.
 
*{{d|pj}}: Yeah, please stop with the spherical objects here!
 
[''Salvador stops throwing balls.'']
 
*{{d|sal}}: Sorry, Pencil, we'll clean it up.
 
*{{d|p}}: <small>Now wot d'I does?</small>
 
*{{d|telecam}}: <small>Just keep yourselves the way you would until dinner time. Then we talk.</small>
 
*{{d|p}}: Okay!
 
*{{d|zor}}: Who are you saying that to, Mum?
 
*{{d|p}}: Oh, nothin'. Jus' keep a-doin' wot yer doin'.
 
*{{d|zor}}: Whatever.
 
{{Scene|Dinner|Pencil calls everyone to the dinner table as Telecam takes Pen's place.}}
 
*{{d|p}}: Kids, dinner!
 
[''Everyone goes downstairs.'']
 
*{{d|dj}}: Alright, we're here!
 
*{{d|sal}}: But why did you bring ''her''?
 
*{{d|p}}: Telecam is 'ere acos she'll be watchin' us fer a few, to see 'ow we act naturally.
 
*{{d|yar}}: Wow, that's awesome.
 
*{{d|cil}}: Goo!
 
*{{d|pj}}: [''going down''] Sorry I'm late, guys, I'm running a science experiment up there.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Ooh, a science experiment. Tell me more about this!
 
*{{d|pj}}: I'd love to, but maybe later.
 
*{{d|telecam}}: Okay, later is fine.
 
*{{d|xim}}: Excuse me, Mummy, but may I be excused and deliver this to the girl in the A-D-I-C?
 
*{{d|p}}: Sure. And it's A-T-T-I-C!
 
*{{d|xim}}: Thank you!
 
{{Scene|Attic|Citlali is placing the things Ximena bought around the room.}}
 
*{{d|xim}}: Wow, this place is a mess!
 
*{{d|cit}}: I know. Did you get my food?
 
*{{d|xim}}: [''sarcastically''] Yes, Your Highness.
 
*{{d|cit}}: Good, I'm starving up here.
 
*{{d|xim}}: Well, I'd better get down now!
 
*{{d|cit}}: Wait! [''she stops''] There's just something I need to tell you.
 
*{{d|xim}}: Yeah?
 
*{{d|cit}}: All I do up here is hear, hear, hear, but all I want is to see, see, see! It bugs me how I can't even watch the telly up here!
 
*{{d|xim}}: But you can't! Dad says no TV in our rooms!
 
*{{d|cit}}: No, I mean I can watch the downstairs TV, but I'll be watching it here!
 
*{{d|xim}}: That's awesome! But that does not exist.
 
*{{d|cit}}: Who told you that?
 
*{{d|xim}}: Mr. Ball.
 
*{{d|cit}}: Isn't one of our brothers, like, a maker of things?
 
*{{d|xim}}: Oh my gosh, you're right!
 
 
{{Scene|Downstairs}}
 
{{Scene|Downstairs}}
*{{d|qr}}: So do I call her Aunt Telecam or {{Lang-m|Sw.|Shangazi|Aunt}} Telecam?
+
*{{d|sal}}: And then it dropped, and they watched as they saw the very destruction of the city! Cool, right?
*{{d|telecam}}: Well ...
+
*{{d|m}}: While your description of the 1943<ref>In reality 1945.</ref> atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were descriptive ''and'' graphic, that still doesn't beat what happens between me and Eraser.
*{{d|sal}}: Ugh, dinner is so boring!
+
*{{d|cit}}: Censored!
*{{d|jav}}: Are you kidding?
+
[''Meanwhile.'']
*{{d|yar}}: Yeah, dinner is my favourite part of the day!
+
*{{d|dj}}: So, Avi, you have a new friend?
*{{d|sal}}: <small>I know what must be done.</small> '''''FOOD FIGHT!'''''
+
*{{d|jav}}: Yeah! His name is Capker, and he looks a lot like Citlali!
*{{d|p}}: No, no food fight!
+
*{{d|xim}}: So that means he looks like you too?
*{{d|jav}}: Yeah, stop killing the pacifist, there's worse things going on today.
+
*{{d|jav}}: Nope!
*{{d|telecam}}: No, Pencil, let them fight with food. It stimulates children's growth.
+
*{{d|qr}}: Izzie, what was your first grade like?
*{{d|sal}}: Boo-yah!
+
*{{d|yar}}: I can't say it was good, because it happened while we were living with Grandma.
[''He flings clusters of mashed potato towards Cil, who cries.'']
+
*{{d|qr}}: So is first grade ''supposed'' to be horrible?
*{{d|zor}}: Woah, making the baby cry? That's 10 points!
+
*{{d|yar}}: No, it's supposed to be fun!
[''Enter'' '''Ximena'''.]
+
*{{d|zor}}: Yeah, except when they take away nap time.
*{{d|xim}}: Sio, I need your help.
+
*{{d|qr}}: Wait. No naptime? ''Nooooooooooooo!''
*{{d|dj}}: With what?
+
*{{d|zor}}: There's more coming for you about that too.
*{{d|xim}}: I need you to make something to connect the TV with the attic.
+
[''Qalam-Rassas sighs. Meanwhile, Saye and Pencil walk down.'']
*{{d|dj}}: Oh, that thing! I've already made it.
+
*{{d|pj}}: And that's when we started dating [[Not Sco Much Viller|on the American holiday of Thanksgiving]]. We were so in love, and in fact we still are!
*{{d|telecam}}: So, you're an inventor?
+
*{{d|p}}: It's great yer 'appy, m8, but you've better be h'early to yer date. Wouldn't wan' to keep yer sweetness waitin', no?
*{{d|dj}}: Sort of ... I'm in a club at school where we make things!
+
*{{d|pj}}: That is a good idea. I'll see you all sometime in the near future, people!
*{{d|telecam}}: Interesting. You never said that in your audition. All I have you down as is Boring-but-not-as-boring-as-Girl-#2.
+
[''She heads to the door, but Pen stops to rush it.'']
*{{d|dj}}: Thanks, that really means a lot.
+
*{{d|d}}: Halt, soldier!
*{{d|xim}}: So where is it?
+
*{{d|pj}}: I'm just going to a friend's house!
*{{d|dj}}: Oh, that's a funny story ... someone made me give it away at school.
+
*{{d|d}}: Which one?
*{{d|xim}}: If I see whoever stole your thingy, I will take them by their hand and crush them like my enemies; no one cares if I get suspended because I'll just patcher in as Chavo!
+
*{{d|m}}: '''''NAGASAKI!'''''
*{{d|telecam}}: Wait, I thought Salvador was the fighty one and you liked flowers, unicorns and butterflies.
+
*{{d|d}}: Alright, you seem good.
*{{d|xim}}: Oh yeah. Flowers, unicorns and butterflies!
+
*{{d|pj}}: Thanks, I'll text you if anything is necessary. Bye!
*{{d|p}}: Well, now thet you're all 'ere, I'd thought of'e's a good time to review show rules.
+
[''Exit'' '''Saye'''.]
*{{d|telecam}}: And here are the rules. Rule #1: Even if you see me, I want you to act as if I'm not there ''unless'' you're alone. Rule #2: From now on, all nine of you children are not to leave this house, and you are not to allow anyone in this house except for{{em}}
+
*{{d|d}}: Did anyone else notice she had eyelashes?
['''Pen''' ''arrives home.'']
+
*{{d|p}}: Oh, Pen, leave'e. She's jus' growin' up an'ee've got to respect thet.
*{{d|d}}: Hello! Oh, you're here. Ms. Era, what a wonderful surprise.
+
*{{d|m}}: I told you Pencil was the mature one!
*{{d|telecam}}: Good evening, Mr. Schreiber, I'm just reviewing the rules of filming with the children.
+
{{Scene|Later that night|As everyone else is sleeping, Saye arrives home from her date. Pencil and Pen, having fallen asleep on the couches, wake up.}}
*{{d|d}}: Here's the thing; I don't follow the rules unless they come from my wife.
+
*{{d|d}}: Huh?
*{{d|p}}: T'ay I've learned thet you should act as if Telecam doesn' exist, an' the kids can't leave ther 'ouse er let other people in.
+
*{{d|p}}: Wot's thet?
*{{d|d}}: What about the adults? I've got work from 8 to whenever!
+
[''He opens the door.'']
*{{d|telecam}}: Fortunately, the limitation does not apply to people of working age.
+
*{{d|nickel}}: Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Schreiber.
*{{d|pj}}: Not fair! What if people of your age can work, but you can't? I'm, like, fifteen years old!
+
*{{d|d}}: Excuse me, but my title is Gen, so it's "General Schreiber".
*{{d|telecam}}: You will need to get a job.
+
*{{d|nickel}}: Sorry, Saye's dad!
*{{d|pj}}: On second thought, mundane tasks aren't really that big of a deal.
+
*{{d|pj}}: Sorry we got home late. What happened?
*{{d|yar}}: But what about school?
+
*{{d|nickel}}: Yeah, you guys look like a mess!
*{{d|zor}}: Yeah, that's called going out of the house.
+
*{{d|pj}}: Oi, Nickel, let me do the talking here?
*{{d|telecam}}: We've got that covered too! You guys are no longer going to your school.
+
*{{d|nickel}}: Sorry, baby.
*'''All''': What?
+
*{{d|d}}: It's our fault. We promised each other that none of us would fall asleep until our daughter comes home.
*{{d|p}}: Okay, not e'en I's prepared fer thet.
+
*{{d|pj}}: And then?
*{{d|telecam}}: It's true! Many television actors can't go a real school, so they get educated privately!
+
*{{d|d}}: We fell asleep.
*{{d|xim}}: How terrible!
+
*{{d|p}}: So, Saye, 'ow was yer date?
*{{d|telecam}}: It's only temporary; I've e-mailed your teachers about the material.
+
*{{d|pj}}: It was so fun! We went to the cinema and watched ''The Girl''.
*{{d|jav}}: But I've finally become popular!
+
*{{d|nickel}}: And Saye was crying because of the subtle references to the issues in today's society.
*{{d|dj}}: And my club is in its prime!
+
*{{d|d}}: Isn't that, like, rated 18? Y'know, for those ''over 18?''
*{{d|sal}}: Yeah, just like Dad seven years ago.
+
*{{d|p}}: It's okay, she's a growing teen.
*{{d|telecam}}: I'm sorry, kids, but rules are rules.
+
*{{d|d}}: You mean growing pain?
*{{d|zor}}: I can see why they don't put object kids on TV sitcoms.
+
*{{d|p}}: Wot the {{cen|shiト}}, m8?
*{{d|telecam}}: You got that right, kid.
+
*{{d|d}}: Hey, it's a joke!
*{{d|p}}: Cil, 'r'ee done with yer dinner?
+
*{{d|p}}: The bouncer clearly can't make good jokes.
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Y'know, maybe I should fall asleep. Don't want any nightmares about old British houses!
  +
*{{d|p}}: Aye, if'ee don' sleep soon, you'll be h'a-gettin' nightmares o' houses with British people! [''pointing to herself'']
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Hey, can Nickel stay the night?
  +
*{{d|d}}: No.
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Good night, love you!
  +
*{{d|nickel}}: See you at school tomorrow!
  +
[''Exit'' '''Nickel'''.]
  +
*{{duo|{{d|p}}|{{d|d}}}}: Good night!
  +
*{{d|pj}}: I gotta sleep.
  +
[''She runs up, ending the day.'']
  +
  +
==Wednesday, January 8==
  +
{{Scene|Saye's room}}
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Ah, just a lovely day in NickelAndMeVille.
  +
{{Scene|Dining room|Starting the day, Saye goes down for breakfast.}}
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Morning Nimena, Iaretzi, Cil, Kalvador, Evier, Lallie!
  +
[''Expectant sounds. Saye gets some donuts from the refrigerator, but soon sees that the box is empty.'']
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Why are there no donuts here?
  +
*{{d|xim}}: Saye, you hate donuts!
  +
*{{d|pj}}: I know, but my boyfriend ''loves'' them!
  +
*{{d|sal}}: If your boyfriend ever comes over, can I pour strawberry yoghurt on him?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: [''in a very deep voice''] '''''NO!'''''
  +
*{{d|cit}}: Saye-chan, are you okay?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Why wouldn't I be?
  +
*{{d|cit}}: Last night you were up all night kissing a picture of Nickel.
  +
*{{d|pj}}: I was most certainly not.
  +
*{{d|xim}}: Then why did I have a dream about me at the beach making the biggest sand castle in the world, and when you were in it you were kissing Nickel in a photograph?
  +
*{{d|yar}}: Yeah, you were kissing him and saying "I love you, Nickel!"
  +
*{{d|zor}}: I had the same dream of both of y'all, but instead of being at the beach I was on the moon. And Saye wasn't in it. And neither was a phone.
  +
*{{d|yar}}: Speaking of phone, how is school for you, Ora?
  +
*{{d|zor}}: Our teacher is Aunt Match. Wait, how did you get{{em}}
  +
*{{d|jav}}: Hold on a nanosecond. You're actually letting our Aunt Match teach you?
  +
*{{d|zor}}: Yeah, she's awesome! She's better than any teacher that you people ever had.
  +
*{{d|jav}}: Then let me know when I see all the strikes on your grade 4 report card like I always do.
  +
*{{d|zor}}: Well!
  +
*{{d|sal}}: Hey, Sio! You ditching school today?
  +
*{{d|dj}}: Yeah.
  +
*{{d|p}}: Wot'n'ale? 'O's a-ditchin' school?
  +
*{{d|sal}}: Two words, Pencil. My. Brother.
  +
*{{d|dj}}: Mum, it isn't a class or anything; it's lunch!
  +
*{{d|p}}: Oh, okay, I feel'ee. When I was at thet school we always went off-campus fer lunch. So where'ee goin'?
  +
*{{d|dj}}: The Inventing Club and I are going to{{em}}
  +
*{{d|pj}}: I'd love saying it, but I'm in love, I'm in love, in ''love!''
  +
[''She literally dances out of the house.'']
  +
*{{d|jav}}: Wait for us!
  +
*{{d|p}}: Aye, I recommend thet'ee go out an' catch up with yer sister.
  +
[''Exeunt omnes nisi'' '''Qalam-Rassas'''''.'']
  +
*{{d|p}}: Well, wot're'ee a-waitin' fer, QR, go with 'em!
  +
*{{d|qr}}: I don't wanna! And I thought you ''didn't'' want me to leave!
  +
*{{d|p}}: I don' know, jus' all o' the recent news about yer sister's got me more focused, an' I really think thet you can totally 'andle a day at school.
  +
*{{d|qr}}: But mum!
  +
[''Enter'' '''Pen''' ''in his business suit.'']
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: What's going on? I admire myself in the mirror for at least three minutes when on the other side in the window I see our eldest daughter waltzing like it's 1864!
  +
*{{d|p}}: Oi, I'll explain thet later. But firs', Qal's got somethin' to tell'ee.
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: What is it, QR?
  +
*{{d|qr}}: Daddy, I don't want to go to school!
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: Why? Personally, I believe that our education system has improved within the past nine years.
  +
*{{d|qr}}: But it's my teacher. She's so mean!
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: I'm sure she's not that bad. When I was at that school the meanest teacher I think was the dean of discipline or something. Not only was she a morally questionable person on BFDI, but she was ''so'' mean and she was ''so'' old, and she had so many dimples that she triggered your Uncle Nelson's fear of holes.
  +
*{{d|qr}}: That's the one! Dad, fire her!
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: Ha, only my father can do that. Y'know, they called him the{{em}}
  +
*{{d|qr}}: [[Zayde's Hootin' Arrival|Trump of Tel Aviv]]. Didn't he already call himself that?
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: Yeah, but I thought that now would be a better time than ever to reference that name.
  +
*{{d|p}}: Oi, don' be Coiny with yer meta-ness! [''to QR''] Qal, if'ee needs yer professor to be threatened, y'says these words t'r'a: Either [''in the same voice as Pencil from BFDI(A)''] "I don't promise!" er "Sorry, GB, can't do that!"
  +
*{{d|qr}}: Hey, those words were from your show, Mummy!
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: Yeah, your voice cracked like mine never did!
  +
*{{d|qr}}: I'll say it once I can catch up with the rest of the crew.
  +
[''Exit'' '''Qalam-Rassas'''.]
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: What were we talking about again?
  +
*{{d|p}}: Oh, nothin'. By the way, now I can swear without feelin' guilty. ''Wot the {{cen|fuク}}'r'ee wearin'?''
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: This?
  +
*{{d|p}}: Aye. It's neither too formal nor informal to wear clothes.
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: Yeah, it's casual Wednesday at the embassy.
  +
*{{d|p}}: Interestin' …
  +
[''Awkward silence.'']
  +
*{{d|p}}: Omg, Saye's in love!
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: With Nickel?
  +
*{{d|p}}: No, with the washin' machine. Aye, with Nickel! An' I'm a-startin' to notice thet she's going a little too obsessed with'e.
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: Don't worry, teenage girls are always like that! I wouldn't be able to tell you how the experience was because I was never a teenage girl, but I'm sure you can provide me with some perspective, eh?
  +
*{{d|p}}: Pen dear, I've spent the mos' o' me teenage years without a father figure present. If anythin', me mum encouraged me to date'ee!
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: Of course. And besides, who can't find me irresistable?
  +
*{{d|p}}: Anti-Semites, Brazilian soldiers, Anti-Semitic Brazilian soldiers …
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: I'd better go.
  +
*{{d|p}}: So yer okay with Saye datin' Nickel despite 'erself ''not'' arrivin' pas' curfew, ''not'' sayin' good night ter us, ''not'' 'atin' donuts as she used ter an' ''not'' waitin' fer the kids to ready an' go to school
  +
*{{d|d}}: Pretty much. Bye!
  +
[''He kisses her, and then leaves. Cut to the other side of the door.'']
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: Hate that guy!
  +
[''Meanwhile, inside.'']
  +
*{{d|p}}: [''groans''] Why can't e'erythin' be the same way 'twas yesterday?
  +
*{{d|cil}}: [''from his living room crib''] Are you sure that you want everything to be your way as it was yesterday? You sure was more unhappy with leaving my older brother.
  +
*{{d|p}}: An' then there's thet!
 
*{{d|cil}}: Goo!
 
*{{d|cil}}: Goo!
*{{d|telecam}}: And now that the time's come, how about I interview you, Saye?
+
{{Scene|School}}
*{{d|pj}}: I'd be delighted! I mean, I've got to get to work on my project anyways, so yeah.
+
*{{d|shelly}}: Hey, Saye! [''she sees her spinning and not noticing''] Frau Pencil Camania Sayéne Schreiber, what is wrong with you!?
*{{d|p}}: Now, Ximena, Zorah'n Yaretzi, you're not to go into yer room until our gues' tells us she's done a-filmin'.
+
*{{d|pj}}: [''dazed''] I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love!
*{{d|yar}}: Right-o!
+
[''She spins near Boat, Chocolatey, Minola and Popsicley.'']
{{Scene|Girls' room|Saye is being interviewed.}}
+
*{{d|boat}}: Does anyone else see Saye spinning around like a record baby?
*{{d|telecam}}: So, Saye, what are you doing?
+
*{{d|minola}}: Watch out, here she comes.
*{{d|pj}}: Working on a science project. [''Telecam gestures for her to continue''] What I've got to do is take care of our class robot. His name is Bloodguts.
+
*{{d|pj}}: [''not noticing''] I'm in love, in love, in ''love!''
*{{d|bloodguts}}: I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.
+
[''She crashes into a wall and falls down.'']
*{{d|telecam}}: And why did you name it Bloodguts?
+
*{{d|pj}}: I'm in wall.
*{{d|bloodguts}}: Backbeat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out.
+
[''Javier notices her as he walks with Capker.'']
*{{d|telecam}}: Actually, ask it why does it keep saying lyrics from Oasis.
+
*{{d|capker}}: And that's when I learned to code for the National Technology Board back in 2006{{em}}
*{{d|pj}}: Don't know. Sometimes it just goes like that, right, Bloodguts?
+
*{{d|jav}}: Oh my gosh! Saye!
*{{d|bloodguts}}: Don't think that. Think of puppies. :).
+
[''He runs to her.'']
*{{d|pj}}: Sorry, this might cost me a lot of points for not feeding it.
+
*{{d|jav}}: Capker, fetch a nurse.
*{{d|telecam}}: What do you mean?
+
*{{d|capker}}: Why? It's not me who's in pain!
*{{d|pj}}: My assignment says that I'm to take care of the robot. I'm supposed to time exactly how long has it been charged, and some other weird stuff about, like, chemistry or something.
+
*{{d|jav}}: [''sigh''] I knew there was a flaw in you all along! We're through, and find yourself a new best friend at it too; my sister is in pain!
*{{d|telecam}}: Interesting not. [''to those outside''] Alright, you can come in now!
+
*{{d|capker}}: That's okay with me. My time at the student exchange programme is done.
[''Enter omnes.'']
+
[''Exit'' '''Capker'''.]
*{{d|telecam}}: And now that I've gathered you all in here, I've assumed that it's all of your bedtimes right now.
+
*{{d|jav}}: Saye, are you okay?
*{{d|d}}: It's only 2030 hours.
+
*{{d|pj}}: Apparently, I'm not.
*{{d|telecam}}: That's so not true! It's 8:30!
+
*{{d|jav}}: [''sigh''] I made a big mistake. I told my best friend he was of no use since he didn't get you a nurse.
*{{d|dj}}: I'm sorry, but we shouldn't sleep this early.
+
*{{d|pj}}: You can always hang out with Bae Nickel and me, y'know, be my third wheel and all.
*{{d|yar}}: Yeah, when we sleep usually it's 9:45.
+
*{{d|jav}}: I think I'd rather do some independent study at that.
*{{d|zor}}: Plus two hours!
+
[''Exit'' '''Javier'''. ''At the same time, enter Saye's friends.'']
*{{d|telecam}}: Are you sure you don't want to wake up to my big surprise?
+
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Oh my Ghent!
*{{d|qr}}: A big surprise? Mummy, can I sleep now?
+
*{{d|popsicley}}: Saye, how did you end up here?
*{{d|p}}: I guess so.
+
*{{d|minola}}: Should I call my mother?
[''The older kids sigh.'']
+
*{{d|pj}}: I'm fine, I'm just in love!
*{{d|d}}: Alright, honey, let's "end up" in the bathroom again.
+
*{{d|shelly}}: Saye, Nickel isn't here today. They told us he's sick and he's going to be in America for a few days.
*{{d|p}}: Kids, if ye need us don't.
+
*{{d|pj}}: If my Nickel's going to be sick, then I will too!
[''Exeunt'' '''Pen''' ''and'' '''Pencil'''.]
+
[''The other girls look at each other.'']
*{{d|dj}}: Yeah, we'd better head off to sleep too.
+
*{{d|boat}}: I'll get the nurse to make you sick then.
*{{d|xim}}: And I'd better say good night to <s>Citlali</s> my imaginary friend.
+
*{{d|minola}}: I've never heard of an ''un''-nurse before.
[''Exeunt.'']
+
*{{d|pj}}: They'll do it!
*{{d|pj}}: Even though I now realise that getting sharpened makes you really drowsy, I can't be the only one who doesn't want to sleep early.
+
{{Scene|Golf Ball's class}}
*{{d|zor}}: Nope. For once I'm with you.
+
*{{d|gb}}: All right, students. Today we will start with math. Who can tell me the quadratic formula?
*{{d|yar}}: But it is Ms. Era's rules, and we'd better follow them.
+
*{{d|qr}}: Can I phone a friend? Oh, wait. They're all in the other class.
*{{d|zor}}: Yeah, if we want to be boring. Come on, Yarisis, let's play Spongy-Cake!
+
*{{d|gb}}: And you're not allowed to use a phone in the lower grades. '''''JUST TELL ME THE QUADRATIC FORMULA!'''''
*{{d|yar}}: But I{{em}}
+
*{{d|qr}}: I don't know it, I'm not like my brother Avi!
[''Saye is sleeping already.'']
+
*{{d|gb}}: Then let me teach it to you. First you draw an X. Do you know how to draw an X?
*{{d|yar}}: <small>Okay, we do it but we must be really quiet.</small>
+
*{{d|qr}}: Yes, Mrs. Ball, but I don't know what the alphabet has to do with{{em}}
*{{d|zor}}: '''''QUIET IT IS!'''''
+
*{{d|gb}}: You don't! First, you put your chalk on ''this'' part of the board. And then, you move diagonally, making a 45° angle with the board. We do it … do it … do it … [''her walkie-talkie rings''] Ugh, what is it now, TB?
*{{d|yar}}: <small>Shh!</small>
+
[''Tennis Ball's voice is heard on the walkie-talkie, words being indistinguishable.'']
*{{d|zor}}: I'll start. <small>One, two, three, four …</small>
+
*{{d|gb}}: Okay … yes … I've got it I'll be right there!
*{{d|yar}}: <small>Who do we not adore?</small>
+
[''Exit'' '''Golf Ball'''.]
*{{duo|{{d|zor}}|{{d|yar}}}}: <small>Spongy! Spongy!</small>
+
*{{d|qr}}: '''''PARTY!'''''
*{{d|zor}}: <small>Five, six, seven, eight …</small>
+
[''One of the dust balls blows over.'']
[''Enter'' '''Ximena'''.]
+
*{{d|qr}}: Oh yeah, maybe I should go party at Mrs. Harlow's class.
*{{d|xim}}: What are you guys doing?
+
{{Scene|Mr. Avenue's class}}
*{{d|yar}}: '''''AH!'''''
+
*{{d|avenue}}: And that's why the letter A should be the last letter banned from the alphabet.
*{{d|zor}}: Shut the [''censored due to their being filmed''] up.
+
*{{d|dj}}: I wouldn't be so sure about that.
*{{d|xim}}: You guys are supposed to be sleeping!
+
[''Enter'' '''Golf Ball'''.]
*{{d|zor}}: Well, we can't sleep! But you can.
+
*{{d|gb}}: Is there a [''reads the paper''] Pen Schreiber II in this class?
*{{d|xim}}: Okay, but if Ms. Era catches us, you're going to die.
+
*{{d|avenue}}: Yes, Your Majesty, but he graduated. Wonderful student, I'd say.
*{{d|zor}}: Good luck with that.
+
*{{d|gb}}: I don't need to hear the good things!
*{{d|yar}}: Zorah and I are playing Spongy-Cake. Wanna play?
+
*{{d|avenue}}: Sio, you are excused from class.
*{{d|xim}}: No, I ''love'' Spongy!
+
[''He goes out into the hall.'']
*{{d|pj}}: Oh, for the love of profanities, give it a break!
+
*{{d|dj}}: Excuse me, Headmistress Ball, but why am I here?
*{{d|yar}}: Time to be quieter, I guess.
+
*{{d|gb}}: I am sentencing you to detention Friday night.
*{{d|zor}}: You start this time!
+
*{{d|dj}}: What? Why?
*{{d|yar}}: <small><small>One, two, three, four …</small></small>
+
*{{d|gb}}: You were seen at the beach at lunchtime today, and being off-campus for the purpose of not eating is forbidden, young man.
*{{d|zor}}: <small><small>Who do we not adore?</small></small>
+
*{{d|dj}}: Aww! Now I've got something to do on Friday!
*{{duo|{{d|zor}}|{{d|yar}}}}: <small><small>Spongy! Spongy!</small></small>
+
*{{d|gb}}: Oh, and I've got your friends to be there too.
*{{d|yar}}: <small><small>Five, six, seven, eight …</small></small>
+
*{{d|dj}}: Awesome. I mean, no!
  +
[''Enter'' '''Singaporean Dollar'''.]
  +
*{{d|sgd}}: Attention, Headmistress Ball, but you are no longer allowed to be teaching Primary 1.
  +
*{{d|gb}}: Good, because I'm from A-''me''-ri-ca and it's called first grade for your information.
  +
*{{d|sgd}}: That is what I meant, lah. You are suspended from that grade.
  +
*{{d|gb}}: What? Why?
  +
*{{d|sgd}}: According to the school rules: "No teacher who is a ball with 336 holes is allowed to take even a minute off her job."
  +
*{{d|gb}}: Darn it, I wrote that law to enforce workaholism.
  +
*{{d|sgd}}: Now I must assign to you a new teaching position.
  +
*{{d|gb}}: Uh, SG, how about I carry you? You know this is a treat from the headmistress to our school security guard.
  +
*{{d|sgd}}: I am a man of great honesty, Headmistress, and I will take the offer generously.
  +
[''She starts walking, carrying him.'']
  +
*{{d|dj}}: So am I off the hook?
  +
*{{d|gb}}: Wh- whatever!
  +
*{{d|dj}}: Yes, now I'll go call my friends!
  +
*{{d|gb}}: Hey, no phones!
  +
*{{d|sgd}}: Can you go any faster than this?
  +
*{{d|gb}}: Stop complaining.
  +
{{Scene|Super secret room|Pen is with his commissioner.}}
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: Schreiber, just the man for whom I was searching.
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: Hello, sir.
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: Your mission today: On the Internet there are several forums advertising hate speech, and it is your job to stop it.
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: There's always going to be hate speech on the Internet. It's just something that can't be stopped. I'm sorry, sir, but I can't fully carry out this mission.
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: Okay, but you might miss something directed against you.
  +
[''The word "you" resonates with Pen.'']
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: <small>You. You. YOU. YOOOUUU. '''''YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!'''''</small>
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: If it concerns me, I'll definitely go!
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: [''handing him a paper''] Here is the address.
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: [''reading''] It's in America? But that means I'll have to take the Underground Rocket Launch! And I don't like when it's loud, it makes me want to give my wife a hug …
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: Schreiber, this isn't going to get better before it gets worse.
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: That doesn't make sense.
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: Dang it, that was me trying to sound deep! [''getting more serious''] Also, Schreiber, remove the business suit. It isn't casual Wednesday.
  +
*{{d|biz!d}}: Soarry 'boat that.
  +
{{Scene|Somewhere in the United States|Pen arrives through a vent in a suburban American house}}
  +
*{{d|d}}: Huh. Y'know, I've always wondered what a house looks like in the land of the free.
  +
[''He peeks through the vent, and sees something surprising.'']
  +
*{{d|d}}: [''trying not to scream; in a deep voice''] Holy smokes!
  +
[''Fortunately, nobody notices Pen's reaction to Nickel on the computer.'']
  +
*{{d|nickel}}: Yeah, that's right! [''starts typing furiously'']
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: [''on a walkie-talkie''] Do you see the suspect?
  +
*{{d|d}}: I see him clearly.
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: That's good. Now wait for him to get off the computer and delete the website.
  +
*{{d|d}}: Okay, I am ready!
   
==Thursday, March 13, 2014==
+
{{Scene|Zorah's class|Everyone is making noise, throwing things, etc.}}
{{Scene|6:30 in the morning|Saye's alarm clock goes off.}}
+
*{{d|shieldy}}: This is so fun!
*{{d|pj}}: I am finally awake and ''fresh'' as a daisy! Huh?
+
*{{d|chupalla}}: I never thought we could not really do anything at school, but enjoy ourselves!
*{{d|yar}}: 22,760, 22,761
+
*{{d|lroh3}}: Yeah, I'm getting hit with all kinds of stuff!
*{{d|zor}}: Whose blood and guts{{em}}
+
*{{d|surfboard}}: Maybe we should shut up ''just a little bit'' so Ms. Merrier can read. She is really busy with her book.
*{{d|bloodguts}}: His house is in the village though.
+
*{{d|shieldy}}: And those noise-removal headphones really hit the spot.
[''Ximena and Saye are fully awake from the robot, whilst Yaretzi and Zorah are on the verge of sleeping.'']
+
*{{d|chupalla}}: She probably did not even realise that we are having so much fun!
*{{d|pj}}: What happened to you guys?
+
[''Enter'' '''Golf Ball'''. ''Everyone in the class returns to their seats.'']
*{{d|yar}}: We were up all night
+
*{{d|gb}}: Match Anastasia Achsah Zapałka! Are you aware that your entire class has been in chaos for almost four hours? This is an outrage! I am so mad that I can fire you on the spot!
*{{d|zor}}: Playing Spongy-Cake.
+
*{{d|surfboard}}: Dude, Headmistress Baller …
*{{d|yar}}: [''slowly''] We really need to go to bed now, but I know the producer's not going to like that …
+
*{{d|gb}}: '''''WHAT?!'''''
*{{d|zor}}: Whatever, let's just yell at the boys to w{{em}} wake up.
+
*{{d|surfboard}}: She can't even, like, hear you right now. She's wearing Deats.
*{{d|xim}}: And I'll be up in the A-T-I-K!
+
*{{d|gb}}: I know what Deats are.
*{{d|pj}}: Mona{{em}}
+
[''She grabs the headphones, yankes it out of her head, and makes her go at her level.'']
*{{d|xim}}: I know how to spell{{em}}
+
*{{d|m}}: Oh, hey, GBGBWTF, what's going on here?
*{{d|yar}}: Oh my gosh!
+
*{{d|gb}}: '''''YOU'RE! FIRED!''''' I'm taking over your class now.
  +
*'''Students''': No!
  +
*{{d|gb}}: You all talk badly about me and you all get detentions!
  +
*'''Students''': [''halfheartedly''] Yay!
  +
*{{d|surfboard}}: <small>I'm so getting a refund on those headphones.</small>
  +
*{{d|m}}: Fired? It's one of ''your'' rules that you can't be out of your job for more than a minute, eh?
  +
*{{d|gb}}: [''blandly''] I'll be in my room.
  +
{{Scene|Mrs. Ball's (former) classroom}}
  +
*{{d|gb}}: Alright, everyone, I'm leaving for the fourth grade.
  +
*{{d|qr}}: But I won't have a teacher!
  +
*{{d|gb}}: Actually, you'll be transferred. After I realised that the Dustballs aren't even students at this school but just regular dustballs, I made sure that you would be at … [''shudders''] Mrs. Harlow's class.
  +
*{{d|qr}}: In that case, I don't promise, and sorry, GB, can't do that!
  +
[''Golf Ball gags, and exits.'']
  +
{{Scene|Six hours later|Pen is still in the vents}}
  +
*{{d|d}}: It's been six hours and suspect is still on the computer. How is this healthy? It just makes me worried as for what my kids do when they're not in school.
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: Stick with it, Schreiber …
  +
*{{d|cad}}: [''not seen''] Nickel, dear, can you please help me set the arrival table for the dinner of tonight's special guests?
  +
*{{d|nickel}}: I don't know, can I?
  +
*{{d|cad}}: Please don't use that tone of voice with me, young <s>lady</s> <s>ma'am</s> man!
  +
[''Exit'' '''Nickel'''.]
  +
*{{d|d}}: Perfect, he's gone!
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: Will he be away for a while?
  +
*{{d|d}}: Probably. He's been sent to set the table.
  +
[''He hears noises in the vents.'']
  +
*{{d|d}}: Holy San Francisco!
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: Don't get profane on me. What is it?
  +
*{{d|d}}: I think I've been discovered.
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: Continue on with your plans. Just great! They don't find a planet on the outer edge of the solar system but they have the ability to find a non-American when they see one. Why couldn't we have just gone to Australia for the mission?
  +
*{{d|d}}: What?
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: Sorry, you weren't supposed to hear that.
  +
[''Finding Pen are Nickel's younger (dime) twin sisters, Liberty and Rooseveltia.'']
  +
*{{d|liberty}}: '''''OH MY GOD!'''''
  +
*{{d|rooseveltia}}: What is it, Libby?
  +
*{{d|liberty}}: There's an old man in our air vents!
  +
*{{d|d}}: Excuse me, but I am twenty-four. And I'm working for another country in order to complete, international mission, so I'm ''more'' than a man.
  +
*{{d|rooseveltia}}: We're telling mom!
  +
*{{d|liberty}}: Yeah!
  +
[''Exeunt the twin sisters.'']
  +
*{{d|d}}: That was close.
  +
[''The vent opens, and Pen finds himself at the computer.'']
  +
*{{d|d}}: Now let's see what my daughter's boyfriend's looking up that's so hateful. [''he sees the website''] Pencilhate.com? What is this site? [''he reads the description''] Hating on pencils since 1992 … okay, hating against my wife is a serious offence, but how do I get this off the Internet?
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: I never told you to get rid of the entire site, or for that the entire Internet, just the posts.
  +
*{{d|d}}: Here's goes … scum of the Web, you're going down.
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: It shouldn't be hard to delete the posts, since your target is a moderator for that website.
  +
*{{d|d}}: Wait. Nickel moderates a ''whole forum'' dedicated to hating a whole object group?
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: Yes, he does.
  +
{{Scene|Kitchen|The girls tell their mother as Nickel makes food.}}
  +
*{{d|liberty}}: Mama, the craziest thing happened!
  +
*{{d|cad}}: Really, what is it?
  +
*{{d|rooseveltia}}: There's an old international man in our vents!
  +
*{{d|liberty}}: And he's speaking to himself like a lunatic.
  +
*{{d|cad}}: Right, and there's a madwoman in our attic.
  +
*{{d|rooseveltia}}: No, there isn't!
  +
*{{d|liberty}}: Yeah, we don't have an attic.
  +
*{{d|d}}: [''reading the posts''] "Comparing IQ of adult pencils to infants", "I found a lappti at the store today. Why don't they ban those people", "Member of the pencil species arrested for graffiti in Los Angeles", "Next on Trump's deport list: pencils".<ref>For those who don't know, Los Angeles is known for its large amounts of street art on public display.</ref> These posts all seem to come from one author.
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: And you can delete them also.
  +
*{{d|d}}: I will do that! But how?
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: There is a button that says{{em}}
  +
*{{d|d}}: Never mind, I found it. [''one of the posts starts to play at a high volume, but Pen quickly shuts it down''] Please don't make me delete another post!
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: That wasn't the delete button.
  +
*{{d|d}}: Oh, now you tell me!
  +
[''He deletes the posts actually.'']
  +
*{{d|d}}: Yes! I've got to tell you, that was ''the'' easiest thing I've ever done!
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: Now, quickly leave the place. Nickel might come back any minute.
  +
*{{d|d}}: On it!
  +
[''Exit'' '''Pen'''. ''Shortly after, enter'' '''Nickel''' ''with'' '''Canadian Dolllar''', '''Rooseveltia''' ''and'' '''Liberty'''.]
  +
*{{d|rooseveltia}}: He's here, I'm telling you!
  +
*{{d|cad}}: I don't see no man here.
  +
*{{d|liberty}}: But{{em}}
  +
*{{d|nickel}}: Wait, all of my posts have been deleted!
  +
*{{d|cad}}: I'm sure it's not bad, other people have seen them, not you, right?
  +
*{{d|nickel}}: This is what happens when I leave the computer for six hours.
  +
*{{d|liberty}}: Mom, you've got to believe us when we saw a man here!
  +
*{{d|rooseveltia}}: Yeah, things don't disappear like that!
  +
*{{d|cad}}: Oh, come on. Luckily, Nickel has made a pie for us all, so we can forgot all about this, don't you think?
  +
{{Scene|On the way to Kenya|Pen is dumbfounded at what he found as he goes underwater through a tunnel.}}
  +
*{{d|d}}: Whoa, what happened?
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: Sir, you deleted a hate website. The Internet should be 0.001% more peaceful now.
  +
*{{d|d}}: I know, but the moderator for the site is my daughter's boyfriend. I even saw a post saying "Dating a mistished lappti only because she loves me".
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: That is offensive, but I have no reckoning as to what that means.
  +
*{{d|d}}: It's an old racist term from, like, the 1900s referring to someone who's half pencil.
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: Wow, I never know they made terms like that anymore.
  +
*{{d|d}}: Not the point. I mean, what should I do with them?
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: I may not be acquainted with teenage relationships, but … tell'a to dump his sorry little arse.
  +
*{{d|d}}: I never knew you were so profane.
  +
*{{d|infosym}}: Oh, whom am I going to offend, the fish?
  +
*{{d|d}}: Good point.
  +
[''Pen ends up in the bathtub of his own home. Javier screams as he washes his hands.'']
  +
*{{d|jav}}: HELP ME RHONDA!
  +
*{{d|d}}: Avi, it's just me taking an alternate route.
  +
*{{d|jav}}: Okay, thanks. [''breathes heavily''] I feel better already. Your dinner's on the counter.
  +
*{{d|d}}: Who knew near-light speed travel could make a man so crave-y?
  +
{{Scene|Dining room|Saye is on the phone.}}
  +
*{{d|pj}}: That's awful, your website broke down?
  +
[''Pen has his pizza suspended in his hands.'']
  +
*{{d|nickel}}: [''on the other side''] Yeah, for some reason it doesn't work! All of the past posts are gone!
  +
*{{d|pj}}: What website is it?
  +
*{{d|nickel}}: Uh … it's called Economyhate.com.
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Is that where you hate the economy?
  +
*{{d|nickel}}: Yes, that's what it is.
  +
*{{d|d}}: Er, Saye, can I talk to you about something for a bit?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: [''sigh''] Fine. Nickel, it's my dad again.
  +
[''They hang up again.'']
  +
*{{d|dj}}: Really? No goodbye?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Sio, this is serious.
  +
*{{d|d}}: Yeah, kids, this is … to say the least, girl talk.
  +
[''Exeunt all the boys.'']
  +
*{{d|d}}: ''Teenage'' girl talk.
  +
[''Exeunt all but one of the girls.'']
  +
*{{d|d}}: That means you too, Citlali, y'know.
  +
[''Exit'' '''Citlali'''.]
  +
*{{d|pj}}: What do you want? I was in the middle of a ''really'' important conversation!
  +
*{{d|d}}: There's something you need to hear.
 
*{{d|pj}}: What is it?
 
*{{d|pj}}: What is it?
*{{d|yar}}: I just realised I broke the rules last night by playing Spongy-Cake when I should've been asleep. … It feels kind of … ''good!''
+
*{{d|d}}: The website that Nickel was talking to you about wasn't Economyhate.com.
*{{d|zor}}: Yeah, now you're getting it.
+
*{{d|pj}}: Yes, it was, he said it himself.
{{Scene|Downstairs}}
+
*{{d|d}}: He was lying. It's really a hate website against pencils.
*{{d|pj}}: Wait, you guys are already up?
+
*{{d|pj}}: Wow … I can't believe you'd take the overtime shift at work just to lie to me about my love! You're not even a hero, you're not even my father!
*{{d|sal}}: No, the four of us just decided to sleepwalk at the same time.
+
[''She goes upstairs and slams the door.'']
*{{d|yar}}: That's creepy!
+
*{{d|jav}}: Why isn't anyone else up yet?
+
==Thursday, January 9==
*{{d|dj}}: Our parents might be in the bathroom again, like yesterday.
+
{{Scene|After school|Saye is with her friends.}}
*{{d|zor}}: ''Ooooooooh!'' [''they all look at her''] What?
+
*{{d|pj}}: And then he lied to me, saying that he was a part of some website, posting mean things about my kind.
{{Scene|Parents' room|Sio knocks on the bathroom door again.}}
+
*{{d|chocolatey}}: That's so uncool!
*{{d|p}}: Don' come in!
+
*{{d|shelly}}: This just shows why I can't meet other people's parents.
*{{d|pj}}: What?
+
*{{d|minola}}: Parents are crazy like that.
*{{d|d}}: She means don't come in until the coast is clear!
+
*{{d|pj}}: How do I get my dad to start liking him anyway?
[''Awkward silence.'']
+
*{{d|popsicley}}: I don't think he can. Y'know, until Nickel starts singing any of the top 40 songs to him or something like that.
*{{d|sal}}: Are you ready now?
+
*{{d|pj}}: Ugh, this is pointless. Nobody on earth can convince him otherwise. He'll be steadfast until July 2, 2089. That's when he'll be regen'd.
*{{d|p}}: Nope, but we'll still tell'ee the news we got from Ms. Era!
+
*{{d|popsicley}}: Oh, for a second I thought you were pointing at us.
*{{d|jav}}: What news?
+
{{Scene|Embassy|Pen is ready to go home.}}
*{{d|d}}: You guys don't have to wake up until 7:55!
+
*{{d|infosym}}: Congratulations, Schreiber. You saved that company ''and'' the food on their plates from being liquidated.
*{{d|p}}: Aye, now it's more than an hour until'ee should wake!
+
*{{d|d}}: So may I leave early?
*{{d|dj}}: So we woke up early for nothing?
+
*{{d|infosym}}: Of course. The time is yours.
*{{d|p}}: Sorry, we should'a' told'ee!
+
*{{d|d}}: Great!
*{{d|zor}}: Thanks a lot, Saye, I could have got my mandatory beauty sleep!
+
[''Exit'' '''Infosym'''.]
*{{d|p}}: Wote'er!
+
*{{d|d}}: And now to convince my daughter she's dating a racist … But who should I call{{em}} I mean, ''whom?'' Sorry, Broca's area.
*{{d|sal}}: Come on, let's just go.
+
[''He calls Chocolatey.'']
[''Exeunt.'']
+
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Hello?
{{Scene|Attic|Saye and Javier find Ximena in Citlali's attic.}}
+
*{{d|d}}: This is Saye's father.
*{{d|pj}}: What is going on up here?
+
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Uh-oh. Target achieved abort call!
*{{d|cit}}: Saye, you're here! I can't wait to show you the morning party!
+
*{{d|d}}: Hold on. Are you tired of Saye acting all in-love all of a sudden?
*{{d|jav}}: As much as I love your old J-pop records, Mona, we're not even supposed to be awake right now!
+
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Of course! I mean, it's completely irrational behaviour. And besides, I feel like she's spending more time with him than he is with us.
*{{d|xim}}: What?
+
*{{d|d}}: Would you say you're annoyed be it?
*{{d|cit}}: Of course you are! There's school today, isn't there?
+
*{{d|chocolatey}}: What am I, a tween sitcom? Yeah, I'm annoyed! I just want the old Saye.
*{{d|xim}}: [''looking at Saye''] Um, well
+
*{{d|d}}: Then come to our house by 2000 hours and I'll show you all of it.
*{{d|pj}}: We can sleep for more than an hour!
+
*{{d|chocolatey}}: 2000? Isn't that, like, a few months?
*{{d|cit}}: Wait, you ruined my beauty sleep for this?
+
*{{d|d}}: [''sigh''] I mean 8:00 PM! Goodness, people don't know their military time anymore.
*{{d|jav}}: Don't get mad, at least you get to go to school!
+
*{{d|chocolatey}}: I'll tell the others.
[''Exeunt.'']
+
[''He hangs up and goes home through the bathtub again, where Javier is washing his hands.'']
*{{d|cit}}: How does that not make me mad? I hate school!
+
*{{d|jav}}: SHUT DOWN!
{{Scene|7:55 in the girls' room|Megaphone stands at the edge of the girls' beds. When the time comes she shouts at all four of them.}}
+
*{{d|d}}: Avi, are you using the computer?
*{{d|telecam}}: '''''LET'S GO, WAKE UP, UP UP UP, DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR SCHOOL, HURRY UP, YOU'VE GOT FIVE MINUTES; THAT'S ONE TWELFTH OF AN HOUR, WAKE UP, GET OUT OF BED, IF YOU'RE NOT UP NOW THE BOYS WILL HAVE AN UNFAIR ADVANTAGE BY SLEEPING FOR A LONGER TIME THAN YOU!'''''
+
*{{d|jav}}: Not that I know of. Do you need someth{{em}}
*{{d|pj}}: Alright, we'll wake up!
+
[''He rushes downstairs and gets on Pencilhate.com. Eventually Pencil sees the website.'']
*{{d|yar}}: Gosh, I haven't been yelled at that loudly since that [[Drill Sergeant Daddy|drill sergeant thing Daddy went through]]!
+
*{{d|p}}: '''''KIDS, GET THE CURSE WORD DOWN 'ERE RIGHT NOW!'''''
*{{d|zor}}: And I haven't been yelled at since yesterday when our lunch monitor caught me gently stroking that anti-violence poster.
+
[''They all rush, recognising her anger.'']
*{{d|yar}}: Actually, you were punching it!
+
*{{d|dj}}: What's going on?
*{{d|zor}}: Potato tomato.
+
*{{d|p}}: '''''<nowiki>'</nowiki>O'N'ALE LOGGED ONTO THIS WEBSITE?'''''
{{Scene|Guest room|Telecam leads them all into the guest room, which has been remodelled to look like a school.}}
+
*{{d|jav}}: Not me, I wasn't using the computer.
*{{d|zor}}: Where the hell are we?
+
*{{d|sal}}: And I hate on other types of people{{em}} I mean it wasn't me.
*{{d|pj}}: This doesn't look like home!
+
*{{d|d}}: [''going down''] Wait, I can explain this!
*{{d|xim}}: I think I'm going to be sick
+
*{{d|p}}: [''softly''] Please do. Acos '''''I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY THE DOWNSTAIRS COMPUTER'S SET TER AN 'ATE SITE!'''''
*{{d|pj}}: Wait! Walls with posters on them from the 90s, a Kenyan flag suspiciously placed above a whiteboard … a desk with "World's Best Stage Teacher" on it: I think I know where we are.
+
*{{d|d}}: This is just me proving that Saye's love is a flove.
*{{d|yar}}: Yeah! This is supposed to be a janitor's closet!
+
*{{d|pj}}: A flove. Tell me that's someone whom you trust, yeah?
*{{d|pj}}: No, I mean this is our school!
+
*{{d|d}}: Nope! Your Nickel has been posting mean things on the Internet against your people.
*{{d|zor}}: School? Can I ditch now?
+
*{{d|pj}}: That's utter horse{{em}}
*{{d|xim}}: Do you really want to be yelled at again?
+
*{{d|cit}}: Poop.
*{{d|zor}}: I ain't scared of Telecam.
+
*{{d|pj}}: What she said
*{{d|telecam}}: Let's go, wake up, up up up, don't want to be late for school, hurry up, you've got five minutes; that's one twelfth of an hour, wake up, get out of bed, if you're not up now the girls will have an unfair advantage by being awake for a longer time than you!
+
[''Enter the friendship group. Pen hastily covers the computer screen with a cloth.'']
*{{d|zor}}: Wait, that was from the ''boys<nowiki>'</nowiki>'' room, and we could hear her?
+
*{{d|boat}}: Hey, peoples.
*{{d|xim}}: Scared now?
+
*{{d|popsicley}}: What have you got to show us?
*{{d|zor}}: Y- yeah!
+
*{{d|d}}: I have come to present to you … [''takes the cloth off the computer''] PencilHate.com!
*{{d|xim}}: '''''YES!'''''
+
*{{d|minola}}: [''clapping''] Yay, an introduction … okay, nobody else is doing it.
[''Enter the boys.'']
+
*{{d|p}}: Pen dear, it sounds bad e'en when ''you'' says'e.
*{{d|qr}}: Why are we at school today?
+
*{{d|shelly}}: So, why ''did'' you come and show us this horrible website?
*{{d|dj}}: I feel like we left our home.
+
*{{d|d}}: Fun fact, did you know that Nickel is a part of this website? … Now that I think about it, that's not fun at all.
*{{d|jav}}: How? This place looks like an ideal paradise!
+
*{{d|pj}}: And neither is it the second one; don't facts have to be true?
*{{d|sal}}: This makes me want to punch someone.
+
*{{d|d}}: Do you see this username?
[''Enter'' '''Telecam'''.]
+
*{{d|xim}}: I don't see anything at all.
*{{d|telecam}}: Good morning, students!
+
*{{d|dj}}: Yeah, you zoomed out the computer 10%.
[''Silence.'']
+
*{{d|d}}: But if I zoom it in, it's going to take a long time and running from the bathtub to the dining room takes a lot more energy than I thought it would.
*{{d|yar}}: Good morning, Ms. Era!
+
*{{d|boat}}: Come on, Mr. S, give me one good reason why you think Nickel is supposedly on this website{{em}}
*{{d|telecam}}: Finally, a response. Anyways, I am your new teacher now!
+
*{{d|popsicley}}: {{em}}or else we're leaving.
*{{d|qr}}: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
+
*{{d|qr}}: Okay, Nick's innocent, you can go now.
*{{d|sal}}: Why are you our teacher again?
+
*{{d|popsicley}}: [''condescendingly''] Little Qallie, if my presence if making you uncomfortable, then just say so.
*{{d|telecam}}: For one thing, I am your ''stage'' teacher. I teach you all about the things you need to know, just without going to school!
+
*{{d|qr}}: I would have said so the day you were brought from the maternity ward.
*{{d|jav}}: But I ''love'' my old school; I'm so popular!
+
*{{d|sal}}: Damn, Firey not being here, but ''burn that {{cen2|shiㅌ}} down, son!''
*{{d|zor}}: Don't make me defen the place I hate less than this.
+
*{{d|d}}: A-ha! Found it!
*{{d|telecam}}: People, calm down.
+
[''He zooms in on the username.'']
*{{d|xim}}: I can't calm down! I'm being taught with you people!
+
*'''The Friendship Group''': Thatselnotle?
*{{d|telecam}}: That won't be a problem once I read to you your curriculum!
+
*{{d|popsicley}}: Isn't that, like, Mexican for God or something?
*{{d|qr}}: Curricu-wha?
+
*{{d|p}}: Mexican ain't a language, an' I would know thet.
{{Scene|Living room}}
+
*{{d|popsicley}}: Sorry.
*{{d|cit}}: But it's not fair! Why do they get to stay home and I have to go to school?
+
*{{d|pj}}: Seriously, guys, this is the dumbest proof ever! Lots of people have "le" in their names.
*{{d|p}}: Yer brothers an' sisters ''are'' goin' to school. Jus' at 'ome.
+
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Yeah, maybe he's a fan of Asha Bhosle.
*{{d|d}}: And since Saye's one of the bunch, I'll be driving you to school.
+
*{{d|boat}}: But you do have to remember that Nickel doesn't like when his name is spelt "Nickle".
*{{d|cit}}: Dad, I'm 11 years old! I think I can handle walking alone.
+
*{{d|pj}}: True, but it can't possibly be him. He ''loves'' pencils, because he loves me! Alright, everyone, out!
*{{d|d}}: Yeah, not really.
+
[''Exeunt omnes.'']
{{Scene|School room|Everyone is bored except for Qalam-Rassas and Javier.}}
+
*{{d|pj}}: I guess I did learn something today. The significance of ''absolutely nothing!''
*{{d|telecam}}: And ''C'' is for …
+
*{{d|qr}}: Cow!
+
==Friday, January 10==
*{{d|jav}}: Coppelia!
+
{{Scene|Home|Everyone leaves for school (with Ximena being pushed around in a wheelbarrow), but Pen keeps Saye behind.}}
*{{d|telecam}}: And ''D'' is for …
+
*{{d|d}}: Saye, wait.
*{{d|qr}}: Duck!
+
*{{d|pj}}: You're not going to berate my boy, are you?
*{{d|jav}}: Desdemona!
+
*{{d|d}}: Nope. I just want to know one little thing … What time does your history class start?
*{{d|telecam}}: And ''E'' is for
+
*{{d|pj}}: Today? At 10:10 hours.
*{{d|qr}}: Elephant!
+
*{{d|d}}: Alright, that's all I need to know.
*{{d|jav}}: Etheridgea!
+
*{{d|pj}}: Really? Because Nickel is ''not'' in that class.
*{{d|xim}}: [''to Yaretzi''] <small>I can't believe we have to relearn the alphabet again!</small>
+
*{{d|d}}: Oh, I know.
*{{d|yar}}: <small>But it sure is better than what we were learning earlier.</small>
+
*{{d|pj}}: Okay, bye, dad. [''going''] And by the way, Nickel's coming back from America. Don't try to look stupid.
[''Flashback.'']
+
*{{d|p}}: Ooh, snap.
*{{d|telecam}}: What are you all in? Beginning calculus? Ha! Maybe I'll just teach you guys Advanced Calculus!
+
[''Exit'' '''Saye'''.]
[''They mostly complain.'']
+
[''Pen gets out his phone.'']
*{{d|jav}}: Oh boy, I love Advanced Calculus!
+
*{{d|p}}: Wot're'ee doin'?
[''Return to the present.'']
+
*{{d|d}}: I'm making a really special call.
*{{d|telecam}}: Hey, you two, don't talk; you'll get your turn next! Now, ''K'' is for
+
*{{d|p}}: Ooh, 's'e pizza?
*{{d|qr}}: Kangaroo!
+
*{{d|d}}: Why would it be pizza?
*{{d|jav}}: Kovacia!
+
*{{d|p}}: Oh, y'know ... probably fer me an' Cil.
*{{d|telecam}}: '''''WRONG!''''' Kangaroos live in Australia, not Kenya.
+
*{{d|d}}: And I wouldn't order any pizza for me, eh?
[''Everyone else groans.'']
+
*{{d|p}}: Well, metaphorically speakin', the pizza's only fer people 'o're supposed to be 'ere now. Check yer mobile, m8.
{{Scene|2:00 PM}}
+
*{{d|d}}: [''he sees his phone clock''] Ah! I'm going to be late to be early!
*{{d|telecam}}: And that's why you shouldn't make being an Okazaki fragment a career choice, right Saye?
+
*{{d|p}}: So, y'd better go, yeah?
*{{d|dj}}: Yeah, you'll make much more money being DNA ligase.
+
*{{d|d}}: Yeah, I'd better go!
*{{d|telecam}}: Alright, I've done teaching; school is out.
+
[''He kisses her goodbye and leaves.'']
*'''All''': Yay!
+
{{Scene|Outside|Pen gets in his car on the way to work. Going a few above the speed limit, he starts his hands-free calling.}}
*{{d|jav}}: Wait, it's only 2:00{{em}} [''Salvador covers his mouth''] Ow!
+
*{{d|d}}: Hello, Mr. Ukulungiswa?
*{{d|telecam}}: It is true that this school ends at an earlier time than your regular school, because you need more time to be filmed than to be educated.
+
*{{d|ukulungiswa}}: Whose parent is this?
[''Exeunt omnes. Pencil is watching TV with a clipboard.'']
+
*{{d|d}}: This is <s>Saye</s> Pencil C. S. Schreiber's father.
*{{d|p}}: Alrigh', so the lady says "Thet gets so good", an' the cameraman in the background says …
+
*{{d|ukulungiswa}}: Ah, yes. Is there a problem?
*{{d|telecam}}: Alright, we're ready to film!
+
*{{d|d}}: My daughter tells me that in your class you only play videos, is that true?
[''They all see Pencil and step behind the translucent curtains.'']
+
*{{d|ukulungiswa}}: Yes, this is true. Do you, like the majority of my students' parents, have a problem with this?
*{{d|xim}}: Mummy, you had to be at school!
+
*{{d|d}}: Not really, I think. But is it okay with you if I request a video to play for the class?
*{{d|sal}}: Well, more like you ''shouldn't'' be at our school.
+
*{{d|ukulungiswa}}: Of course, ''kunjalo!''<ref>{{lang|Zulu|Of course!}}</ref> You know, just as long is its not inappropriate.
*{{d|dj}}: It's the worst place ever!
+
*{{d|d}}: Perfect. So the video I want you to play is{{em}} [''police sirens are heard in the background'']
*{{d|p}}: I'm sure it ain' ''thet'' bad.
+
*{{d|ukulungiswa}}: Are you still there?
*{{d|zor}}: They taught us separately!
+
*{{d|d}}: Hold on, I hear the police.
*{{d|pj}}: Mum, this isn't fair! Lately you've been more focused on yourself than your kids.
+
[''He pulls over and sees Officer Dollar approaching.'']
*{{d|p}}: Gi' me one good example.
+
*{{d|d}}: Hello, Officer, what seems to be the problem?
*{{d|pj}}: Well, when I got my ubutu you didn't try to bring me to a facility!
+
*{{d|cad}}: Do you know why I pulled you over?
*{{d|p}}: But{{em}}
+
*{{d|d}}: Yes, I was on the phone with a teacher who only plays videos for his students.
*{{d|pj}}: ''And'' you had us locked up in that horrible school room for I don't know how long!
+
*{{d|cad}}: Actually, you were going 7 kph above the legal speed limit. I'm going to let you off with a warning.
[''Telecam notices.'']
+
*{{d|d}}: A warning?
*{{d|telecam}}: What's this? A mother-daughter quarrel?
+
*{{d|cad}}: Oh, yes. There are worse punishments available for crimes like, I don't know, illegal trespassing.
*{{d|p}}: We can assure'ee e'erythin's fine.
+
*{{d|d}}: Oh. Weird.
*{{d|pj}}: Yeah, we're just arguing, quarrelling is ''much'' different.
+
*{{d|cad}}: You're lucky that you got off with such a warning like this. Have a nice day, sir.
*{{d|telecam}}: Well, why don't I film you? After all, it's after 2:00 and the viewers are expecting tomorrow!
+
*{{d|d}}: Have a nice day too, <s>sir</s> ma'am! [''he drives off''] [[The Haunt|Take that, Match!]]
*{{d|p}}: But{{em}}
+
*{{d|cad}}: <small>What would we do without our troops?</small>
*{{d|telecam}}: You are actually mandated by law to be filmed at any time, you know.
+
*{{d|d}}: [''driving at the regular speed limit''] Alright, hot stuff, it's 1005 hours, you can make the call.
*{{d|p}}: Fine. [''she turns off the television'']
+
[''He calls Saye's teacher once again.'']
*{{d|pj}}: Why can't I be ''cared'' by my own mother?
+
{{Scene|Mr. Ukulungiswa's class|A different perspective this time.}}
*{{d|p}}: Carin'? Why, I always'm a-doin' some carin', I'm carin' now, yeah?
+
*{{d|ukulungiswa}}: Hello, is this the same man with whom I was speaking earlier? [''indistinguishable phone noises''] Yes, hello. So what was the name of the video you wanted our class to watch again? ... Can you please say it slower? ... Never mind, I'll write it down. Spell it out for me, please. ... And you want me to stop where? ... Sorry, please hold on, a student needs my attention.
*{{d|telecam}}: And cut! Let's review your character. Saye.
+
*{{d|minola}}: Yeah, I don't have my homework done right now, ''and'' Saye and Boat won't lend me their papers for me to <s>copy</s> look, so{{em}}
*{{d|pj}}: Yeah?
+
*{{d|ukulungiswa}}: That's totally okay, just wait for the bell and we'll speak of this as a class. ... Yeah, I'm still here.
*{{d|telecam}}: You are the oldest teenage daughter with the class robot and parental issues.
+
*{{d|minola}}: You people will burn like the goat in my ancestors' old village!
*{{d|pj}}: I wouldn't call it{{em}}
+
*{{d|pj}}: Why, is it so you can't copy our homework?
*{{d|telecam}}: Why don't you ''exaggerate'' yourself? You know, be mean and bratty and all.
+
*{{d|boat}}: ''De honte''<ref>{{lang|Fr.|For shame}}</ref>, Mia.
*{{d|pj}}: Like I'm on my first stage of ubutu?
+
*{{d|minola}}: Never mind that, I just got some good news! Mr. U's going to play a video that he didn't choose!
*{{d|telecam}}: Sure, whatever that means. Yaretzi and Zorah, come with me.
+
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Omg, I can't wait!
*{{d|zor}}: Yay, we're going to be filmed!
+
*{{d|popsicley}}: If it's a reality show, I'm going to speak French for the rest of the day.
*{{d|telecam}}: Say anything.
+
*{{d|boat}}: ''Bonne chance avec ça.''<ref>{{lang|Fr.|Good luck with that.}}</ref>
*{{d|yar}}: Anything!
+
*{{d|popsicley}}: No, I will not speak French! This class doesn't have the ... word?
*{{d|telecam}}: Once I say "Action", you may talk … and action!
+
*{{d|boat}}: ''Audacité.''
*{{d|yar}}: Susy, little Susy, pray what is the news? The geese are running barefoot, because they've no shoes! The cobbler has leather, and plenty to spare, why can't he make the poor goose a new pair?
+
*{{d|popsicley}}: That thing to play a video like that!
*{{d|zor}}: Then they'll have to go barefoot! Eia-popeia, pray what's to be{{em}}
+
*{{d|pj}}: True. It seems we've always been watching some educational documentary that weirdly has absolutely nothing to do with this class!
*{{d|telecam}}: Wait a second. Do you even know what "Eia-popeia" means?
+
*{{d|popsicley}}: Whatever.
*{{d|yar}}: No, sorry. We just got the words from our school play.
+
[''The bell rings.'']
*{{d|telecam}}: Can you at least say something that didn't originally come from a German opera?
+
*{{d|ukulungiswa}}: Alright, class, it is now 10:10, the time of day when they take pictures of watches for commercials.
*{{d|zor}}: Thanks a lot, you know. I could have just continued with the eia-popeia!
+
*{{d|zane}}: Boring! There are more interesting things to speak about, you know.
*{{d|yar}}: I'm so sorry! I promise I will ''never'' mention the year 1891 again! Wait, I just did it
+
*{{d|ukulungiswa}}: Today, we will be watching a very special video. It wasn't chosen by me, but I think you all will know and love it.
*{{d|zor}}: I guess we can, like, apologise since we're being filmed and stuff …
+
[''The class cheers.'']
*{{d|telecam}}: Cut! First of all, don't mention that you're being filmed. This is reality television, after all.
+
*{{d|popsicley}}: <small>It's not an object show, it's not an object show …</small>
*{{d|yar}}: Well, if it were reality television and you don't want us to say that we're being filmed, then doesn't that defy the meaning of reality?
+
[''The projector reveals the video, and it auto-plays itself: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RmAALsq48k The Arena of Death].'']
*{{d|telecam}}: Huh, I never thought of that. And no, it doesn't. '''''Next!'''''
+
*{{d|popsicley}}: ''Merde.''
*{{d|xim}}: Hello?
+
:{{d|knife}}: Ueah, it's no fun without Paper. [''noticing Marshmallow''] Marshmallow, wanna have some fun?
*{{d|telecam}}: Yes, you're being filmed, just don't say that.
+
:{{d|marshmallow}}: You bet your marsh I do!<ref>Why doesn't she still say that? It seems like it would catch on.</ref>
*{{d|xim}}: That! Ha! I said it.
+
:{{d|knife}}: Alright, I bet my marsh that since I'm so strong, and you're so small, I can throw you way over there!
*{{d|telecam}}: So, Ximena, what can you tell me about your sisters?
+
:{{d|marshmallow}}: No way! Huh? [''she gets thrown, and then screams'']
*{{d|xim}}: Well, Yaretzi and Zorah and just normal people, but they're only trying to be nice and mean for the camera.<ref>This is obviously not true.</ref> They just want ''your'' attention! I may be the youngest sister here, but I'm not the dumbest.
+
:{{d|knife}}: Wait a sec'. How do I bet a marsh?
*{{d|telecam}}: Interesting
+
[''Four minutes later.'']
  +
:{{d|mephone4}}: This time, I made cookies. But Lightbulb opened his<ref>Surprisingly, the people on the [http://inanimateinsanity.wikia.com/wiki/The_Arena_Of_Death episode page] didn't notice this fatal error.</ref> fat lips, so instead, I'm giving you pencils.
  +
[''Saye's friends around her start squealing, as is wont to do with some people upon hearing their best friend's … type … on the school projector.'']
  +
:{{d|mephone4}}: If you don't get a pencil, you will be eliminated.
  +
:{{d|nickel}}: What?
  +
[''The Friendship Group squeal again.'']
  +
:{{d|nickel}}: No cookies this time? Pencils are stupid!
  +
:{{d|p}}: [''in her BFDI/II form''] Omg, that was, like, mean! Jerk!
  +
[''As a moment silence falls upon the projection screen, it also falls onto the classroom. Saye is figuratively put in the spotlight at this, but the line is drawn when she is punched off-screen.'']
  +
*{{d|boat}}: <small>Psst … Saye, are you okay?</small>
  +
[''Her eyes have become black-outlined white discs. Think Butter from ''[[Object Twoniverse]]'' and a character from a countryball comic. It stays like that throught the day.'']
  +
{{Scene|Lunch|By now, Saye's eyes have been fixed.}}
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Mia, tell your mother I said thanks for the eye fixing. Y'know, even though it didn't go well.
  +
*{{d|minola}}: Okay, but I'll say it went perfectly.
  +
*{{d|chocolatey}}: Popsicley, you're awfully quiet.
  +
[''She doesn't want to speak only French for the rest of the day.'']
  +
*{{d|boat}}: Oh my gosh, it's Nickel.
  +
*{{d|minola}}: Got your song ready?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: I guess.
  +
*{{d|nickel}}: Hey, bae! Maths class is going to be awesome. We're going to be counting coins!
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Nick-ji, there's something that's really important.
  +
*{{d|nickel}}: Lay it on me, girl!
  +
{{song|Song|Saye}}
  +
<poem>
  +
♫ <i>When I loved you two long months ago it was
  +
Truly happiness and bliss around.
  +
I believed that all I'd ever need was you
  +
Like we had no real commonground ...
  +
  +
But this week you changed, you changed for sure,
  +
And I never want to love a man that's so impure
  +
I told you of my parents and when you all met,
  +
You gave them rudeness, which I regret.
  +
It's not you but me,
  +
But really lately,
  +
Let's question our togetherness
  +
This I sing to thee:
  +
  +
You left no disguise
  +
To my father's black eyes,
  +
You crossèd the sentry,
  +
And triggered his cries.
  +
I'm so through with you,
  +
I'm sorry, adieu
  +
To a man who loved me
  +
But thought otherwise.
  +
  +
On the site I found, I checked your name,
  +
"Thatselnotle", was this part of your game?
  +
Just to hate my half all because of you
  +
But in our world love as it was a view ...
  +
You're living a lie,
  +
But I can't see why,
  +
Such a stud who hates pencils
  +
I should be for or try,
  +
  +
Ne'er a girl at this school
  +
Shall e'er date such a fool,
  +
Who thinks that a species
  +
Is inferior at school,
  +
So my writ song you've heard
  +
Wait, there's one final word,
  +
I'm giving you up so
  +
Someone ends up your third!</i> ♫
  +
</poem>
  +
[''Some people in the background clap.'']
  +
*{{d|chocolatey}}: What just happened?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: I don't know, but I feel good after singing this!
  +
*{{d|boat}}: Come on, let's get some Shōhakoku!
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Don't you hate it?
  +
*{{d|boat}}: Not after a good break up song!
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Are you kidding? That was probably one of my worst, I literally scribbled it, like, under ten seconds.
  +
{{Scene|After school|The kids arrive home except for Saye.}}
  +
*{{d|p}}: Quick, e'eryone, inside!
  +
*{{d|jav}}: I told Saye there's a sale at the mall.
  +
*{{d|p}}: Let's get decoratin' … hurry up!
  +
*{{d|yar}}: I've got the streamers in pink, grey, orange, beige and black!
  +
*{{d|sal}}: I got the Nickel dartboards!
  +
*{{d|xim}}: Mummy, may I keep one in our room?
  +
*{{d|p}}: Wot'n'ale, o' course!
  +
[''Enter'' '''Saye'''.]
  +
*{{d|pj}}: What the hell?
  +
*'''Everyone''': Surprise!
  +
*{{d|dj}}: We heard that you broke up with that no-good, racist, son-of-a{{em}}
  +
*{{d|cit}}: Police officer.
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Aww, thanks! I cannot believe that I am free!
  +
*{{d|yar}}: What happened? Was he mean to you?
  +
*{{d|zor}}: Do we need to get into [[Burglar Alarm|Creepy Mode]]?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: No, it's totally fine. I mean, like, I thought everything was bad when our history teacher played the video{{em}}
  +
*{{d|p}}: Wait, video?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: You know about the video?
  +
*{{d|jav}}: What, what video?
  +
*{{d|p}}: Yer father called the school, more precisely, Saye's hist'ry class, an' asked if 'e could play a video before e'eryone, jus' to prove thet Nickel's an 'orrible person 'o shouldn't be datin' me Saye, oh, gi' me a hug!
  +
*{{d|pj}}: [''hugging Pencil''] Oh, thank goodness you're safe! I never knew you were on Inanimate Insanity!
  +
*{{d|p}}: Aye, thet out-o'-universe objec' exchange programme worked out in the wrong direction.
  +
*{{d|cit}}: Yeah, I love the part when you call Nickel a jerk for hating pencils!
  +
*{{d|p}}: Oh, wot can I says?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Wait a minute. Lallie, you've watched it … without telling me?
  +
*{{d|cit}}: Of course! This object show fan just can't get enough!
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Why didn't you tell me?
  +
*{{d|cit}}: You never asked!
  +
[''Saye starts laughing a little bit, and then a lot. Everyone else laughs.'']
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Wait, oh wait, oh wait. Dad was the one who did the video stuff?
  +
*{{d|p}}: Obviously. If 'e didn' show the video in class, y'd be still datin' Nickel an' 'o knows wot could 'appen ter'ee?
  +
*{{d|jav}}: From going crazy all the time, you would need a therapist for your therapist for your therapist for your the{{em}}
  +
[''Enter'' '''Pen'''.]
  +
*{{d|d}}: A party for me?
  +
*{{d|pj}}: Apparently it is! [''she goes up to him''] Dad, what you did today made me realise that I can't have a two-sided guy like Nickel in my life. Maybe I'll just hold off from dating until, like, how old? 20? 30? 40?
  +
*{{d|d}}: [''to himself''] Who's a good dad? You are, you are! All in all, I guess dads do save the day.
  +
<center>'''THE END'''</center>
   
 
{{Notes}}
 
{{Notes}}

Revision as of 16:17, August 14, 2016

Timelessen - Void scene

Story is in Completed Mode!

"Wow, spending so much time in this void has actually made me finish!" - Pen
This story has officially been over. Go check out this episode's info page for information about music, characters, trivia and more! Also, please know that after 24 hours of this on an episode page, you must only edit it if the placement of words has the same amount of letters in it.

Asterisk Hedge

Warning!

"Wot'n ale's fozz'r'ye doin'?" - Pencil
This page contains profanity, like the sentence above. I have created two ways to censor those words, but I've also discovered that on mobile view, they lie uncensored. So please, show some cognoscience about what you may see.

If you do have a problem with profanity, please refer to this page § 3.

"Dates and Schoolgates" is a new episode of Pencil 2.O, and until recently, there has been neither number nor date associated. In this episode, it's the first day of school for the younger kids and Pencil feels uneasy. Meanwhile, Pen accidentally finds something useful for the episode. (This episode chronologically, in regards to the school episodes, follows "Not Sco Much Viller")

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Home

  • Pencil: So, kids, are'ee ready fer yer firs' day o' school?
  • Sio: You mean our first day back from the winter holidays, mum.
  • Salvador: And in that case, we aren't.
  • Sio: Yeah, there's going to be so many tests.
  • Javier: But I love school!
  • Yaretzi: Me two!
  • Saye: Me three.
  • Yaretzi: Really, Saye? What do you like most about it?
  • Saye: The boys toys! And my history class where we only watch videos.
  • Citlali: Wow. I did not know you high schoolers play with toys.
  • Zorah: I thought they did!
  • Citlali: Zorah, this is rated G!
  • Pencil: Wote'er, I'd better get y' lot out to school in time. Can't make a firs' impression without bein' seen by e'eryone.

[Exeunt omnes nisi Qalam-Rassas.]

  • Qalam-Rassas: Mum, you're holding on for me.
  • Pencil: Aye, fer, like, an 'ole day, yeah?
  • Qalam-Rassas: But I'm not in Honours Kindergarten anymore! It's January, so now I'm Grade ½!
  • Pencil: Grade ½? Wot'n'ale's thet?
  • Pen: Penc, five of our kids went through the exact same thing.
  • Pencil: I know, but this is different!
  • Qalam-Rassas: Can I just walk with the others?
  • Pencil: N—
  • Pen: Ech-em?
  • Pencil: I mean "aye". [sigh]

[Exit Qalam-Rassas.]

  • Pencil: Pen, 'ave'ee got to go to work?
  • Pen: Apparently the bullet plane to Headquarters isn't accepting flights due to repairs, so they're basically giving me the day off.
  • Pencil: Ah. Wait, Pen, I think I left me water bottle in the girls' room. Mind if I get'e?
  • Pen: Actually, I think I should get it for you, like a true gentleman.

[He skips up the stairs to the room.]

  • Pencil: [sigh] Sad thet yer the only only left at 'ome now thet QR's run off. Do me a favour an' ne'er grow up fer me, yeah?
  • Cil: Goo!

School

  • Javier: Oh!
  • Capker: [realising] Hey, you look kind of familiar. Are you a mirror?
  • Javier: Well, we both should know that if any of us were a mirror, it would be rather uncanny if one of us were talking.
  • Capker: That's true. I'm Capker!
  • Javier: Oh my gosh, my name's Javier! I don't supposed they call you Capker because—
  • Capker: Yep, that's right. My parents chose my name based on the name day calendar.
  • Javier: Are you new here?
  • Capker: Yeah, I just arrived from America.
  • Javier: That's pretty interesting. So, did you get your schedule yet?
  • Capker: Yeah … [he shows his]
  • Javier: Wow, we have the same schedule! It's like we're twins!
  • Capker: Awesome! But don't say "sh"-edule like that, it's "sk"-edule. Or at least that's how it was in the old country.
  • Javier: Yeah, that's what I thought.

[They head off to class. Meanwhile, enter Zorah and her friends.][1]

  • Lawrenciah: Omg, I can't wait for our new teacher!
  • Zorah: You mean, our new prank victim?
  • Lawrenciah: Sure, if you want to think of it that way.
  • Chupalla: Maybe she's pretty.
  • Lawrenciah: Yeah, maybe …
  • Zorah: Come on, don't want to be late!
  • Lawrenciah: Wow, that was totally uncool.
  • Zorah: Sorry, it was just this stupid thing my mum told me.

Zorah's new class

  • Disco Light: Woah, baby!
  • Shieldy: Ain't she pretty!
  • Zorah: What the hell? Match, why are you here?
  • Match: Shh, I'll, like, tell you when the bell rings.
  • Lawrenciah: The bell rang ten minutes ago! We're just fashionably late.
  • Match: Omg, you're late! How do you spell tardy?
  • Chupalla: P-R-E-S-E-N-T.
  • Match: Maybe you should show me some R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
  • Chupalla: I hate her already.

[They take her seats.]

  • Match: Hello, class, my name is Ms. Merrier!
  • Surfboard: Dude, that's such an inappropriate name.

[The whole class laughs.]

  • Match: Excuse me, but it's more like an ex inappropriate name, just like me!

[Silence.]

  • Zorah: Wait, Ms. Merrier.
  • Match: Yes, Zorah?
  • Zorah: Two things … Why are you here and can I call you "Aunt Merrier"?
  • Match: Apparently, Headmistress Ball said she'd only hire me because nobody else wanted the job. You see, I heard your old teacher was caught … er … doing unteacherly things!
  • Surfboard: We know!
  • Shieldy: Mr. Tolmerson was caught drinking alcohol … at a bar!

[Everyone gasps.]

  • Shieldy: What? Just because I'm the oldest person here doesn't mean I don't know what's going on!
  • Match: Alright everybody, let's let the teacher talk!

[Silence.]

  • Zorah: [whispering to Chupalla] If you think it's not unteacherly that my aunt Match is teaching us, she was something much worse a year ago.
  • Chupalla: [whispering to Lawrenciah] If you think that is not a teacherly Match my aunt teaches us, it was something much worse a year ago.
  • Lawrenciah: [whispering to Shieldy] If you think this is not a Match teacherly aunt teaches us, it was something much worse there one year.
  • Shieldy: [whispering to Disco Light] If you do not think this is Match teacherly aunt teaches us, it was something much worse is not one year.

[Pretty soon, the trail of translations travel across the whole room as Match reads a book, ending with Surfboard.]

  • Surfboard: Uh, Ms. Merrier?
  • Match: Shh, I'm reading!
  • Surfboard: Think bad Teacherly, she agrees.
  • Match: The hell? [she goes back to reading]

Home

  • Pen: Penc! Come up here!
  • Pencil: Wot's wrong?
  • Pen: Just look!

[She goes up to the girls' room, and it is a mess.]

  • Pencil: Wot 'appen'd 'ere? Thought y'was lookin' fer th' water bottle I left in 'ere!
  • Pen: Oh, I found that already.
  • Pencil: Aye, y' threw thet down the stairs. Be careful, thet could make the stairs wet an' y' don't want to scare ol' 'ydrophobe Sio, m8!
  • Pen: I know, but I found something even more horrible than water!
  • Pencil: Please, wot could thet be?

[He shows her.]

  • Pencil: Saye's diary?
  • Pen: Yeah, it's her diary!
  • Pencil: 'Er diary she told'ee not to touch?
  • Pen: I couldn't help it, it's a father's intuition!
  • Pencil: Thet doesn' explain why you made this room a mess.
  • Pen: It's really simple, I promise. Y'see, as I got your water bottle, there was this reflecty thing in it and out of the corner of my eye, I saw it.
  • Pencil: 'Er diary.
  • Pen: No, my old goggles. I think Citlali stole it for one of her fashion mannequins because they were … well … on there. There wasn't much resistance, but it was still hard for me to pull, which caused me to fall onto her bed where I found for some reason Saye's diary.
  • Pencil: You messed up ther 'ole room!
  • Pen: Check what's on the last page!

[She opens it.]

  • Pencil: It's in Japanese.
  • Pen: But she clearly erased her real entry. Isn't that why Saye looked a little missing on the top? Take a look. It says, "Going on a date, not telling my parents."
  • Pencil: Wow. Thet's terrible!
  • Pen: We have to stop her!
  • Pencil: No, we don't. Like, wot if the guy Saye's a-datin' a good person?
  • Pen: Please, if he were a good person he would take the time to meet me first to get my approval.
  • Pencil: Jus' go back to cleanin' thet room, m8. I need to grieve.

[Exit Pencil. She goes back to watching TV.]

  • Pencil: Oh, 'avin' so little kids is such a bad idea. I hate ther ideer of all me kids in one place … e'en Match! Oh, 'ow I miss 'em …
  • Cil: Maybe you shouldn't take the downhearted sides to this experience, but think of it as an experience. Having ten children is potentially stressful as heck, but what you need for all of them being gone is a daily holiday, wouldn't you like that?
  • Pencil: Aye, I would like thet. Thanks, Cil … wait a minute, you talk?
  • Cil: Goo!
  • Pencil: Of course …

Lunch

  • Saye: Hey, guys!
  • Chocolatey: Hey!
  • Popsicley: Can you believe they gave us a test just as we came back to school?
  • Minola: This is the high school life!
  • Shelly: I always thought we would be cooler than that.
  • Saye: Aww, that's great. Anyways, I have a date with Nickel tonight!
  • Boat: On a Monday? Man, you people are weird.
  • Saye: Oi, says the girl who's eating a baguette.
  • Boat: [realising] Not again!
  • Saye: Well, I have proof that Nickel and I are going on a date, as you can clearly see in my dia— No! I left it at home!
  • Chocolatey: Wait. You have a diary? That's so cool!
  • Popsicley: Sure, if you like recording things that happened in your irrelevant life.
  • Chocolatey: It's like an autobiography.
  • Popsicley: Ah! A big word!

[She sprays her with a hose away from the table.]

  • Chocolatey: Mum …
  • Saye: Guys, this is terrible! I don't want people to see my diary! It's got foreign writing on it.
  • Minola: So?
  • Saye: My mother!
  • Minola: Oh yeah, I got you at "mother".
  • Saye: Like, what if my dad finds out I've got a date?
  • Shelly: Calm down, you probably hid it in a secure place where your dad can't find it.
  • Saye: [sigh] I guess you're right.

[Suddenly, Match finds the girls.]

  • Match: Omg, hi girls!
  • Saye: Aunt Match?
  • Boat: What are you doing here?
  • Match: Thought I'd like to meet my most mature niece.
  • Saye: Aww, that's so nice—
  • Match: I was talking to Shelly.
  • Shelly: Really?
  • Match: No, just kidding.
  • Boat: So, did you decide to be a teacher?
  • Match: Yeah. It's really cool how they just let people work here without a degree!
  • Minola: Says a lot about our education, doesn't it?
  • Saye: Whatever. By the way, Aunt Match, can you keep a secret?
  • Match: I don't know. Is is "may I"?
  • Saye: IDK, English class is fifth period.
  • Match: Oh, just tell me!
  • Saye: Okay. I have a date tonight but I'm going to tell my mum and dad that I'm off to a friend's house.
  • Match: OMG, YOU HAVE A DATE!?

[The girls laugh.]

  • Saye: Shh, not so loud, Aunt Match!
  • Match: Sorry, I get really happy about things like that! Here, take my dating handbook.
  • Saye: You just randomly had that with you?
  • Match: No, I brought it with me for my first day! My class keeps telling me to stop reading, but maybe I should stop, just for them.
  • Saye: Not just them.
  • Match: Wait, but which friend are you at?
  • Saye: I'm not really at a friend's house! It's a date, remember?
  • Match: I know, but what if your mum and dad ask where you'll be?
  • Saye: They won't ask that!
  • Match: Aw, come on, of course they're going to ask that! I speak mother. Hey, tell you this, I'll walk with you all the way home. That way your mum won't even pay attention to you guys, eh?
  • Pencil: I guess you have a point.
  • Match: YES! I have a point! See that, class of '22? I have a point! [she chases after them]

Auditorium

  • Golf Ball: And in Mrs. Harlow's class: Soap-hia Andrews, Isa-bell-a Chiu, Soap-hia Silver, Idaka, Soap-hia Cleaner, Zonophoney, Isa-bell-a Narice … Qua … Cal …
  • Qalam-Rassas: [getting up] That's me!
  • Golf Ball: Calvin Sanchez. Sorry, I couldn't read that. And that's all for Mrs. Harlow's class.
  • Qalam-Rassas: No!
  • Golf Ball: And now for my class. Dustball #1, Dustball #2, Dustball #3 … and Qalam-Rassas Schreiber.
  • Qalam-Rassas: What? That's so unfair! The Dustballs are mute!
  • Golf Ball: The correct word is unable to speak, son of a—
  • Tennis Ball: Hey, not in front of the children. Mr. Schreiber, I am sorry, but we can't move you to another class.
  • Qalam-Rassas: But this isn't fair! All of my friends are in the same class, why can't I?
  • Golf Ball: It was chosen randomly, and so you're randomly with me! [evilly laughs] Now everyone, go to my classroom at once! March two three four … march two three four …

After school

  • Match: Finally, my day of tortune is done!
  • Qalam-Rassas: Mummy! [he hugs her] I'm never going to school again!
  • Pencil: Wot—
  • Zorah: You'll never guess who my new teacher is … Mrs. "Merrier"!
  • Pencil: Match, I told'ee, they'll respect'ee more if y' ectually go by "Ms. Zapalka".
  • Match: Oh, but what's the fun in that?
  • Pencil: Good point!
  • Sio: For lunch we went to the pond and ate there!
  • Pencil: Thet's cool, but—
  • Javier: I made a new friend!
  • Pencil: Now thet's amazin', but I'm lookin' fer one person now.
  • Match: Oh, that's Saye. She's … busy.
  • Pen: Right.

[Enter Saye.]

  • Saye: Hello, mum, dad! This is Aunt Match. She works at my school now!
  • Pen: Well, enough about her, tell us about your day … and your future plans, eh?
  • Saye: Life's good, I'm getting an A in five of my classes!
  • Pen: Are you going anywhere tonight?
  • Saye: Yeah, a friend's house.
  • Pencil: Ooh, which friend?
  • Match: Told you.
  • Saye: It's nothing, I'd better go.

[She tries to go up.]

  • Pen: Hold it! By any chance are you doing anything that rhymes with eight?
  • Saye: You mean stuff like "bate", "Kate", "m8", "great", "aggressively self-hydrate", "late" or "fate"? Wait a second, you read my diary?

[Silence.]

  • Saye: You did read my diary! I'm never speaking to you again!

[She slams her door.]

  • Pencil: [sigh] I'd better go up there.
  • Pen: I'd better follow.
  • Ximena: Hey, do you want to know what happened to me at school today?
  • Sio: I think I'll pass.
  • Salvador: It's a no from all of us.
  • Yaretzi: I have to de-dust the countertops.
  • Ximena: That's actually good, nothing happened today! It was all boring. Boring, boring, boring!
  • Zorah: Same thing, sister. And same thing, Ms. Merrier!
  • Match: I'm sorry, but I just didn't know what to do! They don't give detentions in grade 4, so I was stuck reading a novel that could be better.
  • Zorah: Maybe you could have flipped my card to the red one. Nobody looks at those!
  • Javier: Aunt Match, on the bright side, you don't have to tell mum and dad about Saye's date!
  • Match: Wait, how did you hear that?
  • Javier: You shouted it at us.
  • Match: Ah.
  • Qalam-Rassas: Aunt Match, can you be my teacher?
  • Match: I wish I could, preschoolers are so much better than fourth graders.
  • [ Zorah · Yaretzi ]: Hey!

The girls' room

  • Saye: It isn't fair!
  • Pen: [from the other side] Open up!
  • Pencil: We need a talk with our daughter.

[She opens the door.]

  • Saye: What do you want?
  • Pen: About reading your diary …
  • Saye: Why would you think this is cool? You're invading my privacy! Dad, I'm fourteen, I can write what I want here!
  • Pencil: We know yer old enough to write, m8, but we're still in charge of'ee. An' when we see somethin' thet you've writ in yer diary, it makes us, yer parents, feel worried.
  • Saye: Mum, you have nothing to worry about!
  • Pen: What about the time you ran away to Terwiter's Germany? You don't think we were worried then?
  • Saye: Well, yeah. But that was only in November! It's going to be my birthday in a month and I want to do what I want, not just what you want!
  • Pen: Saye, do you know how dangerous dates have the possibility of being? What if he's an old man in disguise? Then we'll have to get Officer Coiny involved, and …
  • Saye: Dad, you know who my date is!
  • Pen: Really?
  • Saye: Aye, he's Nickel, the love of my life.
  • Pencil: Nickel, as in Needy's … [slap] lover's brother?
  • Saye: Yeah, him!
  • Pencil: I don' know, me sister says 'e's jus' Coiny with an attitude. An' we can't 'ave two people from the family be datin' from the same family?
  • Pen: Unless you want your family tree to look like an electroencephalograph.
  • Pencil: Oi Pen, this is girl talk.
  • Pen: Sorry.

[Exit Pen.]

  • Pencil: I get'e, Saye, 'tis yer firs' date.
  • Saye: Well, my first real date.
  • Pencil: Wot?
  • Saye: Nothing.

Downstairs

  • Salvador: And then it dropped, and they watched as they saw the very destruction of the city! Cool, right?
  • Match: While your description of the 1943[2] atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were descriptive and graphic, that still doesn't beat what happens between me and Eraser.
  • Citlali: Censored!

[Meanwhile.]

  • Sio: So, Avi, you have a new friend?
  • Javier: Yeah! His name is Capker, and he looks a lot like Citlali!
  • Ximena: So that means he looks like you too?
  • Javier: Nope!
  • Qalam-Rassas: Izzie, what was your first grade like?
  • Yaretzi: I can't say it was good, because it happened while we were living with Grandma.
  • Qalam-Rassas: So is first grade supposed to be horrible?
  • Yaretzi: No, it's supposed to be fun!
  • Zorah: Yeah, except when they take away nap time.
  • Qalam-Rassas: Wait. No naptime? Nooooooooooooo!
  • Zorah: There's more coming for you about that too.

[Qalam-Rassas sighs. Meanwhile, Saye and Pencil walk down.]

  • Saye: And that's when we started dating on the American holiday of Thanksgiving. We were so in love, and in fact we still are!
  • Pencil: It's great yer 'appy, m8, but you've better be h'early to yer date. Wouldn't wan' to keep yer sweetness waitin', no?
  • Saye: That is a good idea. I'll see you all sometime in the near future, people!

[She heads to the door, but Pen stops to rush it.]

  • Pen: Halt, soldier!
  • Saye: I'm just going to a friend's house!
  • Pen: Which one?
  • Match: NAGASAKI!
  • Pen: Alright, you seem good.
  • Saye: Thanks, I'll text you if anything is necessary. Bye!

[Exit Saye.]

  • Pen: Did anyone else notice she had eyelashes?
  • Pencil: Oh, Pen, leave'e. She's jus' growin' up an'ee've got to respect thet.
  • Match: I told you Pencil was the mature one!

Later that night

  • Pen: Huh?
  • Pencil: Wot's thet?

[He opens the door.]

  • Nickel: Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Schreiber.
  • Pen: Excuse me, but my title is Gen, so it's "General Schreiber".
  • Nickel: Sorry, Saye's dad!
  • Saye: Sorry we got home late. What happened?
  • Nickel: Yeah, you guys look like a mess!
  • Saye: Oi, Nickel, let me do the talking here?
  • Nickel: Sorry, baby.
  • Pen: It's our fault. We promised each other that none of us would fall asleep until our daughter comes home.
  • Saye: And then?
  • Pen: We fell asleep.
  • Pencil: So, Saye, 'ow was yer date?
  • Saye: It was so fun! We went to the cinema and watched The Girl.
  • Nickel: And Saye was crying because of the subtle references to the issues in today's society.
  • Pen: Isn't that, like, rated 18? Y'know, for those over 18?
  • Pencil: It's okay, she's a growing teen.
  • Pen: You mean growing pain?
  • Pencil: Wot the shiト, m8?
  • Pen: Hey, it's a joke!
  • Pencil: The bouncer clearly can't make good jokes.
  • Saye: Y'know, maybe I should fall asleep. Don't want any nightmares about old British houses!
  • Pencil: Aye, if'ee don' sleep soon, you'll be h'a-gettin' nightmares o' houses with British people! [pointing to herself]
  • Saye: Hey, can Nickel stay the night?
  • Pen: No.
  • Saye: Good night, love you!
  • Nickel: See you at school tomorrow!

[Exit Nickel.]

  • [ Pencil · Pen ]: Good night!
  • Saye: I gotta sleep.

[She runs up, ending the day.]

Wednesday, January 8

Saye's room

  • Saye: Ah, just a lovely day in NickelAndMeVille.

Dining room

  • Saye: Morning Nimena, Iaretzi, Cil, Kalvador, Evier, Lallie!

[Expectant sounds. Saye gets some donuts from the refrigerator, but soon sees that the box is empty.]

  • Saye: Why are there no donuts here?
  • Ximena: Saye, you hate donuts!
  • Saye: I know, but my boyfriend loves them!
  • Salvador: If your boyfriend ever comes over, can I pour strawberry yoghurt on him?
  • Saye: [in a very deep voice] NO!
  • Citlali: Saye-chan, are you okay?
  • Saye: Why wouldn't I be?
  • Citlali: Last night you were up all night kissing a picture of Nickel.
  • Saye: I was most certainly not.
  • Ximena: Then why did I have a dream about me at the beach making the biggest sand castle in the world, and when you were in it you were kissing Nickel in a photograph?
  • Yaretzi: Yeah, you were kissing him and saying "I love you, Nickel!"
  • Zorah: I had the same dream of both of y'all, but instead of being at the beach I was on the moon. And Saye wasn't in it. And neither was a phone.
  • Yaretzi: Speaking of phone, how is school for you, Ora?
  • Zorah: Our teacher is Aunt Match. Wait, how did you get—
  • Javier: Hold on a nanosecond. You're actually letting our Aunt Match teach you?
  • Zorah: Yeah, she's awesome! She's better than any teacher that you people ever had.
  • Javier: Then let me know when I see all the strikes on your grade 4 report card like I always do.
  • Zorah: Well!
  • Salvador: Hey, Sio! You ditching school today?
  • Sio: Yeah.
  • Pencil: Wot'n'ale? 'O's a-ditchin' school?
  • Salvador: Two words, Pencil. My. Brother.
  • Sio: Mum, it isn't a class or anything; it's lunch!
  • Pencil: Oh, okay, I feel'ee. When I was at thet school we always went off-campus fer lunch. So where'ee goin'?
  • Sio: The Inventing Club and I are going to—
  • Saye: I'd love saying it, but I'm in love, I'm in love, in love!

[She literally dances out of the house.]

  • Javier: Wait for us!
  • Pencil: Aye, I recommend thet'ee go out an' catch up with yer sister.

[Exeunt omnes nisi Qalam-Rassas.]

  • Pencil: Well, wot're'ee a-waitin' fer, QR, go with 'em!
  • Qalam-Rassas: I don't wanna! And I thought you didn't want me to leave!
  • Pencil: I don' know, jus' all o' the recent news about yer sister's got me more focused, an' I really think thet you can totally 'andle a day at school.
  • Qalam-Rassas: But mum!

[Enter Pen in his business suit.]

  • Pen: What's going on? I admire myself in the mirror for at least three minutes when on the other side in the window I see our eldest daughter waltzing like it's 1864!
  • Pencil: Oi, I'll explain thet later. But firs', Qal's got somethin' to tell'ee.
  • Pen: What is it, QR?
  • Qalam-Rassas: Daddy, I don't want to go to school!
  • Pen: Why? Personally, I believe that our education system has improved within the past nine years.
  • Qalam-Rassas: But it's my teacher. She's so mean!
  • Pen: I'm sure she's not that bad. When I was at that school the meanest teacher I think was the dean of discipline or something. Not only was she a morally questionable person on BFDI, but she was so mean and she was so old, and she had so many dimples that she triggered your Uncle Nelson's fear of holes.
  • Qalam-Rassas: That's the one! Dad, fire her!
  • Pen: Ha, only my father can do that. Y'know, they called him the—
  • Qalam-Rassas: Trump of Tel Aviv. Didn't he already call himself that?
  • Pen: Yeah, but I thought that now would be a better time than ever to reference that name.
  • Pencil: Oi, don' be Coiny with yer meta-ness! [to QR] Qal, if'ee needs yer professor to be threatened, y'says these words t'r'a: Either [in the same voice as Pencil from BFDI(A)] "I don't promise!" er "Sorry, GB, can't do that!"
  • Qalam-Rassas: Hey, those words were from your show, Mummy!
  • Pen: Yeah, your voice cracked like mine never did!
  • Qalam-Rassas: I'll say it once I can catch up with the rest of the crew.

[Exit Qalam-Rassas.]

  • Pen: What were we talking about again?
  • Pencil: Oh, nothin'. By the way, now I can swear without feelin' guilty. Wot the fuク'r'ee wearin'?
  • Pen: This?
  • Pencil: Aye. It's neither too formal nor informal to wear clothes.
  • Pen: Yeah, it's casual Wednesday at the embassy.
  • Pencil: Interestin' …

[Awkward silence.]

  • Pencil: Omg, Saye's in love!
  • Pen: With Nickel?
  • Pencil: No, with the washin' machine. Aye, with Nickel! An' I'm a-startin' to notice thet she's going a little too obsessed with'e.
  • Pen: Don't worry, teenage girls are always like that! I wouldn't be able to tell you how the experience was because I was never a teenage girl, but I'm sure you can provide me with some perspective, eh?
  • Pencil: Pen dear, I've spent the mos' o' me teenage years without a father figure present. If anythin', me mum encouraged me to date'ee!
  • Pen: Of course. And besides, who can't find me irresistable?
  • Pencil: Anti-Semites, Brazilian soldiers, Anti-Semitic Brazilian soldiers …
  • Pen: I'd better go.
  • Pencil: So yer okay with Saye datin' Nickel despite 'erself not arrivin' pas' curfew, not sayin' good night ter us, not 'atin' donuts as she used ter an' not waitin' fer the kids to ready an' go to school
  • Pen: Pretty much. Bye!

[He kisses her, and then leaves. Cut to the other side of the door.]

  • Pen: Hate that guy!

[Meanwhile, inside.]

  • Pencil: [groans] Why can't e'erythin' be the same way 'twas yesterday?
  • Cil: [from his living room crib] Are you sure that you want everything to be your way as it was yesterday? You sure was more unhappy with leaving my older brother.
  • Pencil: An' then there's thet!
  • Cil: Goo!

School

  • Shelly: Hey, Saye! [she sees her spinning and not noticing] Frau Pencil Camania Sayéne Schreiber, what is wrong with you!?
  • Saye: [dazed] I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love!

[She spins near Boat, Chocolatey, Minola and Popsicley.]

  • Boat: Does anyone else see Saye spinning around like a record baby?
  • Minola: Watch out, here she comes.
  • Saye: [not noticing] I'm in love, in love, in love!

[She crashes into a wall and falls down.]

  • Saye: I'm in wall.

[Javier notices her as he walks with Capker.]

  • Capker: And that's when I learned to code for the National Technology Board back in 2006—
  • Javier: Oh my gosh! Saye!

[He runs to her.]

  • Javier: Capker, fetch a nurse.
  • Capker: Why? It's not me who's in pain!
  • Javier: [sigh] I knew there was a flaw in you all along! We're through, and find yourself a new best friend at it too; my sister is in pain!
  • Capker: That's okay with me. My time at the student exchange programme is done.

[Exit Capker.]

  • Javier: Saye, are you okay?
  • Saye: Apparently, I'm not.
  • Javier: [sigh] I made a big mistake. I told my best friend he was of no use since he didn't get you a nurse.
  • Saye: You can always hang out with Bae Nickel and me, y'know, be my third wheel and all.
  • Javier: I think I'd rather do some independent study at that.

[Exit Javier. At the same time, enter Saye's friends.]

  • Chocolatey: Oh my Ghent!
  • Popsicley: Saye, how did you end up here?
  • Minola: Should I call my mother?
  • Saye: I'm fine, I'm just in love!
  • Shelly: Saye, Nickel isn't here today. They told us he's sick and he's going to be in America for a few days.
  • Saye: If my Nickel's going to be sick, then I will too!

[The other girls look at each other.]

  • Boat: I'll get the nurse to make you sick then.
  • Minola: I've never heard of an un-nurse before.
  • Saye: They'll do it!

Golf Ball's class

  • Golf Ball: All right, students. Today we will start with math. Who can tell me the quadratic formula?
  • Qalam-Rassas: Can I phone a friend? Oh, wait. They're all in the other class.
  • Golf Ball: And you're not allowed to use a phone in the lower grades. JUST TELL ME THE QUADRATIC FORMULA!
  • Qalam-Rassas: I don't know it, I'm not like my brother Avi!
  • Golf Ball: Then let me teach it to you. First you draw an X. Do you know how to draw an X?
  • Qalam-Rassas: Yes, Mrs. Ball, but I don't know what the alphabet has to do with—
  • Golf Ball: You don't! First, you put your chalk on this part of the board. And then, you move diagonally, making a 45° angle with the board. We do it … do it … do it … [her walkie-talkie rings] Ugh, what is it now, TB?

[Tennis Ball's voice is heard on the walkie-talkie, words being indistinguishable.]

  • Golf Ball: Okay … yes … I've got it … I'll be right there!

[Exit Golf Ball.]

  • Qalam-Rassas: PARTY!

[One of the dust balls blows over.]

  • Qalam-Rassas: Oh yeah, maybe I should go party at Mrs. Harlow's class.

Mr. Avenue's class

  • Avenue: And that's why the letter A should be the last letter banned from the alphabet.
  • Sio: I wouldn't be so sure about that.

[Enter Golf Ball.]

  • Golf Ball: Is there a [reads the paper] Pen Schreiber II in this class?
  • Avenue: Yes, Your Majesty, but he graduated. Wonderful student, I'd say.
  • Golf Ball: I don't need to hear the good things!
  • Avenue: Sio, you are excused from class.

[He goes out into the hall.]

  • Sio: Excuse me, Headmistress Ball, but why am I here?
  • Golf Ball: I am sentencing you to detention Friday night.
  • Sio: What? Why?
  • Golf Ball: You were seen at the beach at lunchtime today, and being off-campus for the purpose of not eating is forbidden, young man.
  • Sio: Aww! Now I've got something to do on Friday!
  • Golf Ball: Oh, and I've got your friends to be there too.
  • Sio: Awesome. I mean, no!

[Enter Singaporean Dollar.]

  • Ringgit S.G.D.: Attention, Headmistress Ball, but you are no longer allowed to be teaching Primary 1.
  • Golf Ball: Good, because I'm from A-me-ri-ca and it's called first grade for your information.
  • Ringgit S.G.D.: That is what I meant, lah. You are suspended from that grade.
  • Golf Ball: What? Why?
  • Ringgit S.G.D.: According to the school rules: "No teacher who is a ball with 336 holes is allowed to take even a minute off her job."
  • Golf Ball: Darn it, I wrote that law to enforce workaholism.
  • Ringgit S.G.D.: Now I must assign to you a new teaching position.
  • Golf Ball: Uh, SG, how about I carry you? You know this is a treat from the headmistress to our school security guard.
  • Ringgit S.G.D.: I am a man of great honesty, Headmistress, and I will take the offer generously.

[She starts walking, carrying him.]

  • Sio: So am I off the hook?
  • Golf Ball: Wh- whatever!
  • Sio: Yes, now I'll go call my friends!
  • Golf Ball: Hey, no phones!
  • Ringgit S.G.D.: Can you go any faster than this?
  • Golf Ball: Stop complaining.

Super secret room

  • Infosym: Schreiber, just the man for whom I was searching.
  • Pen: Hello, sir.
  • Infosym: Your mission today: On the Internet there are several forums advertising hate speech, and it is your job to stop it.
  • Pen: There's always going to be hate speech on the Internet. It's just something that can't be stopped. I'm sorry, sir, but I can't fully carry out this mission.
  • Infosym: Okay, but you might miss something directed against you.

[The word "you" resonates with Pen.]

  • Infosym: You. You. YOU. YOOOUUU. YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
  • Pen: If it concerns me, I'll definitely go!
  • Infosym: [handing him a paper] Here is the address.
  • Pen: [reading] It's in America? But that means I'll have to take the Underground Rocket Launch! And I don't like when it's loud, it makes me want to give my wife a hug …
  • Infosym: Schreiber, this isn't going to get better before it gets worse.
  • Pen: That doesn't make sense.
  • Infosym: Dang it, that was me trying to sound deep! [getting more serious] Also, Schreiber, remove the business suit. It isn't casual Wednesday.
  • Pen: Soarry 'boat that.

Somewhere in the United States

  • Pen: Huh. Y'know, I've always wondered what a house looks like in the land of the free.

[He peeks through the vent, and sees something surprising.]

  • Pen: [trying not to scream; in a deep voice] Holy smokes!

[Fortunately, nobody notices Pen's reaction to Nickel on the computer.]

  • Nickel: Yeah, that's right! [starts typing furiously]
  • Infosym: [on a walkie-talkie] Do you see the suspect?
  • Pen: I see him clearly.
  • Infosym: That's good. Now wait for him to get off the computer and delete the website.
  • Pen: Okay, I am ready!

Zorah's class

  • Shieldy: This is so fun!
  • Chupalla: I never thought we could not really do anything at school, but enjoy ourselves!
  • Lawrenciah: Yeah, I'm getting hit with all kinds of stuff!
  • Surfboard: Maybe we should shut up just a little bit so Ms. Merrier can read. She is really busy with her book.
  • Shieldy: And those noise-removal headphones really hit the spot.
  • Chupalla: She probably did not even realise that we are having so much fun!

[Enter Golf Ball. Everyone in the class returns to their seats.]

  • Golf Ball: Match Anastasia Achsah Zapałka! Are you aware that your entire class has been in chaos for almost four hours? This is an outrage! I am so mad that I can fire you on the spot!
  • Surfboard: Dude, Headmistress Baller …
  • Golf Ball: WHAT?!
  • Surfboard: She can't even, like, hear you right now. She's wearing Deats.
  • Golf Ball: I know what Deats are.

[She grabs the headphones, yankes it out of her head, and makes her go at her level.]

  • Match: Oh, hey, GBGBWTF, what's going on here?
  • Golf Ball: YOU'RE! FIRED! I'm taking over your class now.
  • Students: No!
  • Golf Ball: You all talk badly about me and you all get detentions!
  • Students: [halfheartedly] Yay!
  • Surfboard: I'm so getting a refund on those headphones.
  • Match: Fired? It's one of your rules that you can't be out of your job for more than a minute, eh?
  • Golf Ball: [blandly] I'll be in my room.

Mrs. Ball's (former) classroom

  • Golf Ball: Alright, everyone, I'm leaving for the fourth grade.
  • Qalam-Rassas: But I won't have a teacher!
  • Golf Ball: Actually, you'll be transferred. After I realised that the Dustballs aren't even students at this school but just regular dustballs, I made sure that you would be at … [shudders] Mrs. Harlow's class.
  • Qalam-Rassas: In that case, I don't promise, and sorry, GB, can't do that!

[Golf Ball gags, and exits.]

Six hours later

  • Pen: It's been six hours and suspect is still on the computer. How is this healthy? It just makes me worried as for what my kids do when they're not in school.
  • Infosym: Stick with it, Schreiber …
  • Canadian Dollar: [not seen] Nickel, dear, can you please help me set the arrival table for the dinner of tonight's special guests?
  • Nickel: I don't know, can I?
  • Canadian Dollar: Please don't use that tone of voice with me, young lady ma'am man!

[Exit Nickel.]

  • Pen: Perfect, he's gone!
  • Infosym: Will he be away for a while?
  • Pen: Probably. He's been sent to set the table.

[He hears noises in the vents.]

  • Pen: Holy San Francisco!
  • Infosym: Don't get profane on me. What is it?
  • Pen: I think I've been discovered.
  • Infosym: Continue on with your plans. Just great! They don't find a planet on the outer edge of the solar system but they have the ability to find a non-American when they see one. Why couldn't we have just gone to Australia for the mission?
  • Pen: What?
  • Infosym: Sorry, you weren't supposed to hear that.

[Finding Pen are Nickel's younger (dime) twin sisters, Liberty and Rooseveltia.]

  • Liberty: OH MY GOD!
  • Rooseveltia: What is it, Libby?
  • Liberty: There's an old man in our air vents!
  • Pen: Excuse me, but I am twenty-four. And I'm working for another country in order to complete, international mission, so I'm more than a man.
  • Rooseveltia: We're telling mom!
  • Liberty: Yeah!

[Exeunt the twin sisters.]

  • Pen: That was close.

[The vent opens, and Pen finds himself at the computer.]

  • Pen: Now let's see what my daughter's boyfriend's looking up that's so hateful. [he sees the website] Pencilhate.com? What is this site? [he reads the description] Hating on pencils since 1992 … okay, hating against my wife is a serious offence, but how do I get this off the Internet?
  • Infosym: I never told you to get rid of the entire site, or for that the entire Internet, just the posts.
  • Pen: Here's goes … scum of the Web, you're going down.
  • Infosym: It shouldn't be hard to delete the posts, since your target is a moderator for that website.
  • Pen: Wait. Nickel moderates a whole forum dedicated to hating a whole object group?
  • Infosym: Yes, he does.

Kitchen

  • Liberty: Mama, the craziest thing happened!
  • Canadian Dollar: Really, what is it?
  • Rooseveltia: There's an old international man in our vents!
  • Liberty: And he's speaking to himself like a lunatic.
  • Canadian Dollar: Right, and there's a madwoman in our attic.
  • Rooseveltia: No, there isn't!
  • Liberty: Yeah, we don't have an attic.
  • Pen: [reading the posts] "Comparing IQ of adult pencils to infants", "I found a lappti at the store today. Why don't they ban those people", "Member of the pencil species arrested for graffiti in Los Angeles", "Next on Trump's deport list: pencils".[3] These posts all seem to come from one author.
  • Infosym: And you can delete them also.
  • Pen: I will do that! But how?
  • Infosym: There is a button that says—
  • Pen: Never mind, I found it. [one of the posts starts to play at a high volume, but Pen quickly shuts it down] Please don't make me delete another post!
  • Infosym: That wasn't the delete button.
  • Pen: Oh, now you tell me!

[He deletes the posts actually.]

  • Pen: Yes! I've got to tell you, that was the easiest thing I've ever done!
  • Infosym: Now, quickly leave the place. Nickel might come back any minute.
  • Pen: On it!

[Exit Pen. Shortly after, enter Nickel with Canadian Dolllar, Rooseveltia and Liberty.]

  • Rooseveltia: He's here, I'm telling you!
  • Canadian Dollar: I don't see no man here.
  • Liberty: But—
  • Nickel: Wait, all of my posts have been deleted!
  • Canadian Dollar: I'm sure it's not bad, other people have seen them, not you, right?
  • Nickel: This is what happens when I leave the computer for six hours.
  • Liberty: Mom, you've got to believe us when we saw a man here!
  • Rooseveltia: Yeah, things don't disappear like that!
  • Canadian Dollar: Oh, come on. Luckily, Nickel has made a pie for us all, so we can forgot all about this, don't you think?

On the way to Kenya

  • Pen: Whoa, what happened?
  • Infosym: Sir, you deleted a hate website. The Internet should be 0.001% more peaceful now.
  • Pen: I know, but the moderator for the site is my daughter's boyfriend. I even saw a post saying "Dating a mistished lappti only because she loves me".
  • Infosym: That is offensive, but I have no reckoning as to what that means.
  • Pen: It's an old racist term from, like, the 1900s referring to someone who's half pencil.
  • Infosym: Wow, I never know they made terms like that anymore.
  • Pen: Not the point. I mean, what should I do with them?
  • Infosym: I may not be acquainted with teenage relationships, but … tell'a to dump his sorry little arse.
  • Pen: I never knew you were so profane.
  • Infosym: Oh, whom am I going to offend, the fish?
  • Pen: Good point.

[Pen ends up in the bathtub of his own home. Javier screams as he washes his hands.]

  • Javier: HELP ME RHONDA!
  • Pen: Avi, it's just me taking an alternate route.
  • Javier: Okay, thanks. [breathes heavily] I feel better already. Your dinner's on the counter.
  • Pen: Who knew near-light speed travel could make a man so crave-y?

Dining room

  • Saye: That's awful, your website broke down?

[Pen has his pizza suspended in his hands.]

  • Nickel: [on the other side] Yeah, for some reason it doesn't work! All of the past posts are gone!
  • Saye: What website is it?
  • Nickel: Uh … it's called Economyhate.com.
  • Saye: Is that where you hate the economy?
  • Nickel: Yes, that's what it is.
  • Pen: Er, Saye, can I talk to you about something for a bit?
  • Saye: [sigh] Fine. Nickel, it's my dad again.

[They hang up again.]

  • Sio: Really? No goodbye?
  • Saye: Sio, this is serious.
  • Pen: Yeah, kids, this is … to say the least, girl talk.

[Exeunt all the boys.]

  • Pen: Teenage girl talk.

[Exeunt all but one of the girls.]

  • Pen: That means you too, Citlali, y'know.

[Exit Citlali.]

  • Saye: What do you want? I was in the middle of a really important conversation!
  • Pen: There's something you need to hear.
  • Saye: What is it?
  • Pen: The website that Nickel was talking to you about wasn't Economyhate.com.
  • Saye: Yes, it was, he said it himself.
  • Pen: He was lying. It's really a hate website against pencils.
  • Saye: Wow … I can't believe you'd take the overtime shift at work just to lie to me about my love! You're not even a hero, you're not even my father!

[She goes upstairs and slams the door.]

Thursday, January 9

After school

  • Saye: And then he lied to me, saying that he was a part of some website, posting mean things about my kind.
  • Chocolatey: That's so uncool!
  • Shelly: This just shows why I can't meet other people's parents.
  • Minola: Parents are crazy like that.
  • Saye: How do I get my dad to start liking him anyway?
  • Popsicley: I don't think he can. Y'know, until Nickel starts singing any of the top 40 songs to him or something like that.
  • Saye: Ugh, this is pointless. Nobody on earth can convince him otherwise. He'll be steadfast until July 2, 2089. That's when he'll be regen'd.
  • Popsicley: Oh, for a second I thought you were pointing at us.

Embassy

  • Infosym: Congratulations, Schreiber. You saved that company and the food on their plates from being liquidated.
  • Pen: So may I leave early?
  • Infosym: Of course. The time is yours.
  • Pen: Great!

[Exit Infosym.]

  • Pen: And now to convince my daughter she's dating a racist … But who should I call— I mean, whom? Sorry, Broca's area.

[He calls Chocolatey.]

  • Chocolatey: Hello?
  • Pen: This is Saye's father.
  • Chocolatey: Uh-oh. Target achieved … abort call!
  • Pen: Hold on. Are you tired of Saye acting all in-love all of a sudden?
  • Chocolatey: Of course! I mean, it's completely irrational behaviour. And besides, I feel like she's spending more time with him than he is with us.
  • Pen: Would you say you're annoyed be it?
  • Chocolatey: What am I, a tween sitcom? Yeah, I'm annoyed! I just want the old Saye.
  • Pen: Then come to our house by 2000 hours and I'll show you all of it.
  • Chocolatey: 2000? Isn't that, like, a few months?
  • Pen: [sigh] I mean 8:00 PM! Goodness, people don't know their military time anymore.
  • Chocolatey: I'll tell the others.

[He hangs up and goes home through the bathtub again, where Javier is washing his hands.]

  • Javier: SHUT DOWN!
  • Pen: Avi, are you using the computer?
  • Javier: Not that I know of. Do you need someth—

[He rushes downstairs and gets on Pencilhate.com. Eventually Pencil sees the website.]

  • Pencil: KIDS, GET THE CURSE WORD DOWN 'ERE RIGHT NOW!

[They all rush, recognising her anger.]

  • Sio: What's going on?
  • Pencil: 'O'N'ALE LOGGED ONTO THIS WEBSITE?
  • Javier: Not me, I wasn't using the computer.
  • Salvador: And I hate on other types of people— I mean it wasn't me.
  • Pen: [going down] Wait, I can explain this!
  • Pencil: [softly] Please do. Acos I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY THE DOWNSTAIRS COMPUTER'S SET TER AN 'ATE SITE!
  • Pen: This is just me proving that Saye's love is a flove.
  • Saye: A flove. Tell me that's someone whom you trust, yeah?
  • Pen: Nope! Your Nickel has been posting mean things on the Internet against your people.
  • Saye: That's utter horse—
  • Citlali: Poop.
  • Saye: What she said …

[Enter the friendship group. Pen hastily covers the computer screen with a cloth.]

  • Boat: Hey, peoples.
  • Popsicley: What have you got to show us?
  • Pen: I have come to present to you … [takes the cloth off the computer] PencilHate.com!
  • Minola: [clapping] Yay, an introduction … okay, nobody else is doing it.
  • Pencil: Pen dear, it sounds bad e'en when you says'e.
  • Shelly: So, why did you come and show us this horrible website?
  • Pen: Fun fact, did you know that Nickel is a part of this website? … Now that I think about it, that's not fun at all.
  • Saye: And neither is it the second one; don't facts have to be true?
  • Pen: Do you see this username?
  • Ximena: I don't see anything at all.
  • Sio: Yeah, you zoomed out the computer 10%.
  • Pen: But if I zoom it in, it's going to take a long time and running from the bathtub to the dining room takes a lot more energy than I thought it would.
  • Boat: Come on, Mr. S, give me one good reason why you think Nickel is supposedly on this website—
  • Popsicley: —or else we're leaving.
  • Qalam-Rassas: Okay, Nick's innocent, you can go now.
  • Popsicley: [condescendingly] Little Qallie, if my presence if making you uncomfortable, then just say so.
  • Qalam-Rassas: I would have said so the day you were brought from the maternity ward.
  • Salvador: Damn, Firey not being here, but burn that shiㅌ down, son!
  • Pen: A-ha! Found it!

[He zooms in on the username.]

  • The Friendship Group: Thatselnotle?
  • Popsicley: Isn't that, like, Mexican for God or something?
  • Pencil: Mexican ain't a language, an' I would know thet.
  • Popsicley: Sorry.
  • Saye: Seriously, guys, this is the dumbest proof ever! Lots of people have "le" in their names.
  • Chocolatey: Yeah, maybe he's a fan of Asha Bhosle.
  • Boat: But you do have to remember that Nickel doesn't like when his name is spelt "Nickle".
  • Saye: True, but it can't possibly be him. He loves pencils, because he loves me! Alright, everyone, out!

[Exeunt omnes.]

  • Saye: I guess I did learn something today. The significance of absolutely nothing!

Friday, January 10

Home

  • Pen: Saye, wait.
  • Saye: You're not going to berate my boy, are you?
  • Pen: Nope. I just want to know one little thing … What time does your history class start?
  • Saye: Today? At 10:10 … hours.
  • Pen: Alright, that's all I need to know.
  • Saye: Really? Because Nickel is not in that class.
  • Pen: Oh, I know.
  • Saye: Okay, bye, dad. [going] And by the way, Nickel's coming back from America. Don't try to look stupid.
  • Pencil: Ooh, snap.

[Exit Saye.] [Pen gets out his phone.]

  • Pencil: Wot're'ee doin'?
  • Pen: I'm making a really special call.
  • Pencil: Ooh, 's'e pizza?
  • Pen: Why would it be pizza?
  • Pencil: Oh, y'know ... probably fer me an' Cil.
  • Pen: And I wouldn't order any pizza for me, eh?
  • Pencil: Well, metaphorically speakin', the pizza's only fer people 'o're supposed to be 'ere now. Check yer mobile, m8.
  • Pen: [he sees his phone clock] Ah! I'm going to be late to be early!
  • Pencil: So, y'd better go, yeah?
  • Pen: Yeah, I'd better go!

[He kisses her goodbye and leaves.]

Outside

  • Pen: Hello, Mr. Ukulungiswa?
  • Mr. Ukulungiswa: Whose parent is this?
  • Pen: This is Saye Pencil C. S. Schreiber's father.
  • Mr. Ukulungiswa: Ah, yes. Is there a problem?
  • Pen: My daughter tells me that in your class you only play videos, is that true?
  • Mr. Ukulungiswa: Yes, this is true. Do you, like the majority of my students' parents, have a problem with this?
  • Pen: Not really, I think. But is it okay with you if I request a video to play for the class?
  • Mr. Ukulungiswa: Of course, kunjalo![4] You know, just as long is its not inappropriate.
  • Pen: Perfect. So the video I want you to play is— [police sirens are heard in the background]
  • Mr. Ukulungiswa: Are you still there?
  • Pen: Hold on, I hear the police.

[He pulls over and sees Officer Dollar approaching.]

  • Pen: Hello, Officer, what seems to be the problem?
  • Canadian Dollar: Do you know why I pulled you over?
  • Pen: Yes, I was on the phone with a teacher who only plays videos for his students.
  • Canadian Dollar: Actually, you were going 7 kph above the legal speed limit. I'm going to let you off with a warning.
  • Pen: A warning?
  • Canadian Dollar: Oh, yes. There are worse punishments available for crimes like, I don't know, illegal trespassing.
  • Pen: Oh. Weird.
  • Canadian Dollar: You're lucky that you got off with such a warning like this. Have a nice day, sir.
  • Pen: Have a nice day too, sir ma'am! [he drives off] Take that, Match!
  • Canadian Dollar: What would we do without our troops?
  • Pen: [driving at the regular speed limit] Alright, hot stuff, it's 1005 hours, you can make the call.

[He calls Saye's teacher once again.]

Mr. Ukulungiswa's class

  • Mr. Ukulungiswa: Hello, is this the same man with whom I was speaking earlier? [indistinguishable phone noises] Yes, hello. So what was the name of the video you wanted our class to watch again? ... Can you please say it slower? ... Never mind, I'll write it down. Spell it out for me, please. ... And you want me to stop where? ... Sorry, please hold on, a student needs my attention.
  • Minola: Yeah, I don't have my homework done right now, and Saye and Boat won't lend me their papers for me to copy look, so—
  • Mr. Ukulungiswa: That's totally okay, just wait for the bell and we'll speak of this as a class. ... Yeah, I'm still here.
  • Minola: You people will burn like the goat in my ancestors' old village!
  • Saye: Why, is it so you can't copy our homework?
  • Boat: De honte[5], Mia.
  • Minola: Never mind that, I just got some good news! Mr. U's going to play a video that he didn't choose!
  • Chocolatey: Omg, I can't wait!
  • Popsicley: If it's a reality show, I'm going to speak French for the rest of the day.
  • Boat: Bonne chance avec ça.[6]
  • Popsicley: No, I will not speak French! This class doesn't have the ... word?
  • Boat: Audacité.
  • Popsicley: That thing to play a video like that!
  • Saye: True. It seems we've always been watching some educational documentary that weirdly has absolutely nothing to do with this class!
  • Popsicley: Whatever.

[The bell rings.]

  • Mr. Ukulungiswa: Alright, class, it is now 10:10, the time of day when they take pictures of watches for commercials.
  • Zane: Boring! There are more interesting things to speak about, you know.
  • Mr. Ukulungiswa: Today, we will be watching a very special video. It wasn't chosen by me, but I think you all will know and love it.

[The class cheers.]

  • Popsicley: It's not an object show, it's not an object show …

[The projector reveals the video, and it auto-plays itself: The Arena of Death.]

  • Popsicley: Merde.
Knife: Ueah, it's no fun without Paper. [noticing Marshmallow] Marshmallow, wanna have some fun?
Marshmallow: You bet your marsh I do![7]
Knife: Alright, I bet my marsh that since I'm so strong, and you're so small, I can throw you way over there!
Marshmallow: No way! Huh? [she gets thrown, and then screams]
Knife: Wait a sec'. How do I bet a marsh?

[Four minutes later.]

MePhone 4: This time, I made cookies. But Lightbulb opened his[8] fat lips, so instead, I'm giving you pencils.

[Saye's friends around her start squealing, as is wont to do with some people upon hearing their best friend's … type … on the school projector.]

MePhone 4: If you don't get a pencil, you will be eliminated.
Nickel: What?

[The Friendship Group squeal again.]

Nickel: No cookies this time? Pencils are stupid!
Pencil: [in her BFDI/II form] Omg, that was, like, mean! Jerk!

[As a moment silence falls upon the projection screen, it also falls onto the classroom. Saye is figuratively put in the spotlight at this, but the line is drawn when she is punched off-screen.]

  • Boat: Psst … Saye, are you okay?

[Her eyes have become black-outlined white discs. Think Butter from Object Twoniverse and a character from a countryball comic. It stays like that throught the day.]

Lunch

  • Saye: Mia, tell your mother I said thanks for the eye fixing. Y'know, even though it didn't go well.
  • Minola: Okay, but I'll say it went perfectly.
  • Chocolatey: Popsicley, you're awfully quiet.

[She doesn't want to speak only French for the rest of the day.]

  • Boat: Oh my gosh, it's Nickel.
  • Minola: Got your song ready?
  • Saye: I guess.
  • Nickel: Hey, bae! Maths class is going to be awesome. We're going to be counting coins!
  • Saye: Nick-ji, there's something that's really important.
  • Nickel: Lay it on me, girl!
Song: Saye

When I loved you two long months ago it was
Truly happiness and bliss around.
I believed that all I'd ever need was you
Like we had no real commonground ...

But this week you changed, you changed for sure,
And I never want to love a man that's so impure
I told you of my parents and when you all met,
You gave them rudeness, which I regret.
It's not you but me,
But really lately,
Let's question our togetherness
This I sing to thee:

You left no disguise
To my father's black eyes,
You crossèd the sentry,
And triggered his cries.
I'm so through with you,
I'm sorry, adieu
To a man who loved me
But thought otherwise.

On the site I found, I checked your name,
"Thatselnotle", was this part of your game?
Just to hate my half all because of you
But in our world love as it was a view ...
You're living a lie,
But I can't see why,
Such a stud who hates pencils
I should be for or try,

Ne'er a girl at this school
Shall e'er date such a fool,
Who thinks that a species
Is inferior at school,
So my writ song you've heard
Wait, there's one final word,
I'm giving you up so
Someone ends up your third!

[Some people in the background clap.]

  • Chocolatey: What just happened?
  • Saye: I don't know, but I feel good after singing this!
  • Boat: Come on, let's get some Shōhakoku!
  • Saye: Don't you hate it?
  • Boat: Not after a good break up song!
  • Saye: Are you kidding? That was probably one of my worst, I literally scribbled it, like, under ten seconds.

After school

  • Pencil: Quick, e'eryone, inside!
  • Javier: I told Saye there's a sale at the mall.
  • Pencil: Let's get decoratin' … hurry up!
  • Yaretzi: I've got the streamers in pink, grey, orange, beige and black!
  • Salvador: I got the Nickel dartboards!
  • Ximena: Mummy, may I keep one in our room?
  • Pencil: Wot'n'ale, o' course!

[Enter Saye.]

  • Saye: What the hell?
  • Everyone: Surprise!
  • Sio: We heard that you broke up with that no-good, racist, son-of-a—
  • Citlali: Police officer.
  • Saye: Aww, thanks! I cannot believe that I am free!
  • Yaretzi: What happened? Was he mean to you?
  • Zorah: Do we need to get into Creepy Mode?
  • Saye: No, it's totally fine. I mean, like, I thought everything was bad when our history teacher played the video—
  • Pencil: Wait, video?
  • Saye: You know about the video?
  • Javier: What, what video?
  • Pencil: Yer father called the school, more precisely, Saye's hist'ry class, an' asked if 'e could play a video before e'eryone, jus' to prove thet Nickel's an 'orrible person 'o shouldn't be datin' me Saye, oh, gi' me a hug!
  • Saye: [hugging Pencil] Oh, thank goodness you're safe! I never knew you were on Inanimate Insanity!
  • Pencil: Aye, thet out-o'-universe objec' exchange programme worked out in the wrong direction.
  • Citlali: Yeah, I love the part when you call Nickel a jerk for hating pencils!
  • Pencil: Oh, wot can I says?
  • Saye: Wait a minute. Lallie, you've watched it … without telling me?
  • Citlali: Of course! This object show fan just can't get enough!
  • Saye: Why didn't you tell me?
  • Citlali: You never asked!

[Saye starts laughing a little bit, and then a lot. Everyone else laughs.]

  • Saye: Wait, oh wait, oh wait. Dad was the one who did the video stuff?
  • Pencil: Obviously. If 'e didn' show the video in class, y'd be still datin' Nickel an' 'o knows wot could 'appen ter'ee?
  • Javier: From going crazy all the time, you would need a therapist for your therapist for your therapist for your the—

[Enter Pen.]

  • Pen: A party for me?
  • Saye: Apparently it is! [she goes up to him] Dad, what you did today made me realise that I can't have a two-sided guy like Nickel in my life. Maybe I'll just hold off from dating until, like, how old? 20? 30? 40?
  • Pen: [to himself] Who's a good dad? You are, you are! All in all, I guess dads do save the day.
THE END

Notes

  1. C: Please stop inserting the word "skirt" in the fanfics. They add nothing and only open the door to more potentially provocative edits. Thank you!
  2. In reality 1945.
  3. For those who don't know, Los Angeles is known for its large amounts of street art on public display.
  4. (Zulu) "Of course!"
  5. (Fr.) "For shame"
  6. (Fr.) "Good luck with that."
  7. Why doesn't she still say that? It seems like it would catch on.
  8. Surprisingly, the people on the episode page didn't notice this fatal error.
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